Blood Moon
by moondancer1179
Summary: Alternative ending to New Moon. Picks up after Edward leaves Bella. The Cullens are forced to intervene in Bella's life, what will the outcome be?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them.

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"_Alice, please tell Edward I love him, and that I'm sorry, but I just can't live without him in my life."_

It had been a couple months since I laid eyes on my dearest friend, Bella Swan, but there she was, right in front of me. My brother had forbidden me from looking for her future, but sometimes the visions just come to me anyway.

Bella was bent over a desk, writing letters, there were tear stains on the paper. Another flicker and I saw the glint of a knife in the sun. Then Bella in white, wading out into the river, the water turning red around her, and in an instant she was gone.

Jasper's arms caught me as I collapsed to the ground in grief. Silent sobs heaved, but the tears wouldn't flow. I would never forgive Edward for breaking her heart, for going against his promise, for forcing her to this. There had only ever been two options, in all the visions I'd had of her future. Removing ourselves from her life had only served to eliminate one of those choices.

Strong arms gripped my shoulders and shook me hard. "Alice! What is it, whatever it is, please tell us."

I was finally able to focus, and my entire family, save Edward, was gathered around me waiting to hear what horrible thing I had seen.

"Bella..." I whispered. "We have to find Edward, we have to stop her. I don't know how much time we have. We have to go to Forks. _NOW!" _I screamed with desperation.

Carlisle demanded to know what I saw, and I told him. The same desperation swept through their faces. We may have promised Edward we'd stay out of her life, but we couldn't let her do this.

Our father sprang into action. "Alice and Jasper, you will come with me, we'll run to Forks. It's faster than dealing with weather and flight schedules. Esme, Rose, Em, do everything in your power to find Edward."

We ran upstairs and grabbed our backpacks we kept packed for emergencies, and took off out the door. We ran as if our lives depended on it. We should be there tomorrow, and all I could do was pray we made it in time.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them.

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_(EPOV)_

My family had moved on to Alaska as I asked, and I was supposed to join them there, but I couldn't leave Forks. I couldn't let them see me like this. They would try to convince me to go back to her, and I don't know if I could be strong enough to refuse. I broke my promise to her, I lied, and I broke her heart. I knew it was for the best, and one day she would move on with her life. I told myself I would check in on her from time to time, but she would never see me again. There were no words to describe the agony I was in.

Once a week she came by the house. She would sit with her back against the door. At first she sobbed for hours. Then, she would yell and scream. The past few times she has been silent. When I would hear her coming up the driveway I holed myself up in the furthest corner of the house, using every ounce of resolve I had not to throw open the door and sweep her into my arms. Hours after she left I would finally go out and sit where she had been and bathe in her delicious scent. If I closed my eyes I could almost feel her near me.

After the first two weeks, my family stopped trying to call me. I didn't answer the phone, and they had filled my voice mail with messages. It had been silent for a while now, but today it started to buzz again. Over and over again. Rose. Alice. Esme. Carlisle. Emmett. I finally relented when Alice called again and answered the damn thing.

"Edward?" Her voice was strained.

"What is it, what's wrong?"

"Where are you? You have to get back to Forks now. You have to find Bella."

"Alice I can't...I promised."

"Don't be an idiot Edward. You have to trust me. She is going to _die_, Edward, as in her precious blood will cease to flow and her heart will no longer beat. Do you understand me? I don't care what you promised her or how much of a martyr you are trying to be. If you ever loved her, then you have to stop her."

A chill ran through my already frigid body. "No Alice, you are wrong. She promised she wouldn't do anything reckless or stupid. She promised to keep it together..."

"You promised you'd never leave her!" That stung.

"I did what I thought was right. Alice you are wrong, she wouldn't do something like that."

"Yes she will, and I only hope we're not too late. Please Edward, for me, don't let her die....We won't be able to get there until tomorrow. If you're close, please go to her."

I hung up the phone. This was probably some kind of plan the family had hatched to get me to see Bella again, knowing that once I had her near me I would not be able to leave her again. Bella would never do something like that. Besides, she was no longer crying or angry, she seemed to be making progress. She was back in school, going to work, cooking for Charlie. Maybe I'll go by her house tonight to double check. They'll be here tomorrow, and I can deal with them then.

I went back to my room and pulled the silver disk from the special box where I kept my mementos of her. There was the bottle cap from our first lunch, petals from the flowers I gave her for prom, the pictures of us I was supposed to send to Renee. I put the CD in my stereo and pressed play. I laid back on the black leather couch and closed my eyes, listening to the song I had composed for her, my love. I lost myself in the memories of the time we had together, knowing I would never again hold her hand in mine, kiss her soft lips, or feel the heat of the sweet blush that crept into her cheeks.

The heat of the sun was fading, and went to watch the sunset from my windows.

"_It's twilight."_

_We were sitting in front of her house. _

"_It's the safest time of day for us...The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way...the end of another day, the return of night. Darkness is so predictable don't you think?"_

"_I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." She frowned, the adorable little crease between her brows forming. _

Twilight. The end of another day without my Bella, and I'd never lay next to her under the stars again.

I waited until I knew she'd be asleep, and ran to her house. There was no trace that anyone had been there other than Bella and Charlie. I took a chance and scaled the wall as I had done so many nights before. Hanging onto her window sill, I looked through the glass. She was sleeping, but she was turned away from me so I couldn't see her beautiful face. It's better that way, if I'd seen her face, if she'd called for me in her sleep as she used to, I wasn't sure I could stay out of her room. What I wouldn't give for one more night with her sleeping form pressed against me. I watched her sleep for a while, and then decided I needed to hunt before I saw Alice tomorrow. Everything was fine here, and I didn't want to hear a lecture from my family about going too long between hunting trips. It didn't bother me any longer, I had no desire to feed. I took off into the woods to find some prey. Once sated, I went to our meadow and laid beneath the stars, remembering the time we spent together here. Once again, all I could see were a pair of wide, chocolate brown eyes. Eyes that would haunt me for the rest of immortal life.

As dawn broke, I decided to head back to the house. I took my time walking at human pace for once, soaking in all the different sights, sounds, and smells. The forests here were so beautiful, teeming with life, and they reminded me of her. When I finally arrived home I took some time to clean up. I was patching a hole I had punched in my wall when I heard someone walking up to the house. Bella usually didn't come by until Saturday, and she always drove, it was too far of a walk. I heard the person come to the door, and then leave again. No one was supposed to be here so I stayed in my room. A flash of white caught my eye through the window, and I saw Bella walking away into the woods. I desperately wished for the millionth time, that her mind wasn't unreadable to me. I watched her walk through the woods until she was long gone. When I was sure it was safe, I went to the front door and opened it. There on the threshold were two envelopes, one addressed to me and one for Alice. There was also a small box.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them.

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_(EPOV)_

The box smelled strongly of Bella and I opened it first. Nestled in white cotton was a small glass bottle filled with a rich, dark red, liquid. In horror, I realized what it was. _Bella's blood. _I tore into the envelope with my name on it and unfolded the tear-stained letter.

_My dearest Edward, _

_This is my last gift to you. _

_It's sweet scent brought you into my life, and the spilling of it tore you away from me._

_This is the last of my blood that will remain on this Earth, and I thought you should be the one to possess it, as you already have my heart. _

_I'm sorry, I love you too much to live in this world without you._

_Forever Yours,_

_Bella_

Frozen with shock, the letter drifted to the floor and the bottle fell to the carpet. Agonizing pain ripped through my granite body as understanding and pure terror pulsed through me. I flew through the back door into the forests following the trail of Bella's scent. I pushed myself to run as fast as I could, surely I could get to her in time. She was heading towards the river. As the trees began to thin, I finally caught a glimpse of her white dress.

"Bella!" I screamed, fear ripping through my body. "Bella stop, please!" But she was already well into the river.

At the sound of my voice she paused for a moment, before moving forward again. Almost there, I could dive in and stop her in just another few seconds. As I reached the bank I saw the water swirling around her was tinged with pink, and as I dove into the icy river she disappeared. Swimming downstream with the current, I searched frantically. I surfaced to see if I saw any trace of her, and there was a flash of white. Relief washed over me as I pulled her into my arms, dragging her to the surface first and then to the bank. I gathered her still form into my arms and tried to keep my composure. She was ice cold and white, her lips pale. I smelled her blood and found the gashes on her wrists.

_No! Please no..._

Ripping my shirt from my body I tore it into strips and wound it around her wrists tightly. I heard a thready pulse, but she wasn't breathing. I placed my mouth on hers and filled her lungs with air. No response. I tried again. Nothing.

"Please Bella, love, come back to me, please." I pleaded into her hair.

Once more and she coughed up a little water and took a shallow breath. It was a beautiful sound. The sound of other vampires approaching whispered through the trees, and then a stifled scream as they arrived on the beach. Alice and Jasper took in the scene, as I ran towards them with her.

"She's alive, barely. Where's Carlisle?" Hardly pausing to ask before heading for the house.

"He went by the hospital, Alice said she'd need blood, so he's getting some." Jasper answered.

When we reached the house I took her upstairs to Alice's room and laid her on the bed. "Alice, warm towels and blankets. Jasper, Carlisle keeps an extra bag in his office closet, it will have the supplies I need."

I gently pulled the wet hair away from her face, and ripped the wet dress off of her. We had to get her dry and warm. Wrapping her body in the thick comforter, I left one arm out so I could repair the wound she had made. Jasper was back with the bag. Even though our family never needed medical assistant, I was never so thankful to have a doctor for a father.

"Jasper you don't have to stay if it's too much." I told him.

"No, I want to help. It's my fault all this started...I can control myself."

"I need to stitch up her wrists first." I pulled out the supplies I needed.

Alice dropped off the first load of towels. "I have some in the dryer warming up." She folded up one and laid it under Bella's wrist.

The bleeding had slowed down, partially because of the cold, but also because it had begun to clot. If it hadn't been for the freezing cold water, she would have lost much more blood. I worked to close the wound, and then moved to the other side. Jasper bandaged the first wrist and laid it back inside the comforter. Alice was towel drying her hair, and decided a hairdryer would be faster. The buzzer went off on the dryer and Jasper ran to fetch the warm towels. We laid them against her body and around her head. Once the second wrist was bandaged, I wrapped her back up in the comforter and sat beside her. Alice kissed her on the forehead, and then left the room with Jasper to give me some time with her alone.

I just sat and drank in the sight of her for a few minutes. Then I began to gently trace the contour of her cheek with my fingertips. I brushed my thumb across her lips, and desperately hoped to get some kind of reaction. She did feel a little warmer, but her breathing still shallow and pulse weak.

I heard footsteps coming down the hall, and Carlisle hurried into the room. _You never left did you?_

I scowled and looked away. Living with vampires made secrets impossible. Our senses were too keen, they knew my scent was too strong throughout the house. I'm surprised Alice hadn't seen it in one of her visions...or maybe she had and just didn't say anything.

"Tell me what happened." He commanded.

I explained how I found her and what I'd done. _Just as Alice saw. _He nodded curtly, before he pulled away the comforter. He examined her wrists. _Well done._ There was no admiration, just a simple statement of fact. _She's warming up, but she needs blood._

"Edward, I'm going to be frank with you. I've always tried to let you all make your own decisions, even when I did not agree with them. We gave up what we had here because you asked us to. You've moved on for us without complaint on more than one occasion and we felt obligated to reciprocate."

"Car..." He held up his hand to stop me.

"I'm talking right now. I kept silent for too long. Not a single one of us agreed with this choice. We knew this would not end well for Bella, but you insisted on playing games with her heart. I know you thought you were doing the best thing for her, but son, you knew better. I have never been disappointed in you until you made that decision. She was a part of _our_ family, _we_ loved her too. I am going to tell you right now, if you cannot commit to standing by Bella, then I am going to change her."

Rage swept through me. "No you will NOT, Carlisle."

"Yes, I will Edward. It's what she wanted. She should be in a hospital right now. What do you think would happen to her after that? Years of therapy, maybe an institution. Do you want to see her like that, drugged up, restrained, simply because you walked away from her? Could you live with yourself knowing you did that to her? When she realizes she didn't succeed, and you're still not a part of her life, it won't be long before she gets it right, and we may not be able to stop her next time. The love between you two is too precious to be wasted. She would have followed you to the ends of the earth, son, not many people get to experience that kind of love in their lifetime. You knew she wouldn't let you go, and so you broke her, in the only way you could, lying to her that you didn't want her. Don't you dare try to tell me that you don't feel the same about her either. We've walked this earth together for almost a century, and you have never been so happy as you are when you're with Bella. So if you still want to play your game and keep your distance, I will change her today and she will be a part of our family, regardless of what you want or where you decide to go. Otherwise, if you are ready to open your damn eyes and see what a precious gift you have been given, I have the blood she needs and I will administer it here. Then we can decide what to do from there, but you damn well better be the man I know you are when she wakes up."

As I stood there in shocked silence, staring at the man I most admired, I was ashamed.

"I will give you a few minutes alone to think this over." He said before he spun on his heel and left the room.

There was no decision to make, I knew instantly, as soon as I held her in my arms I would never leave her again. Carlisle's harsh words stung, but they were the truth. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. Trouble seemed to run into Bella from the moment she stepped into our lives. Jasper's attack on her birthday reminded me how fragile she really was and how dangerous we were to her. I knew how much I loved her, but it seems I underestimated how much she cared for me. My beautiful, strong, selfless Bella, and I had broken her. Would she even want me once she woke up? I would have to prove it to her that I was never leaving again, but would it be enough? I had to try, there was no existence for me in a world with her. The raw, aching hole that burned in my chest since walking away from her made it clear that I would never be whole again without her.

I felt Carlisle's presence in the doorway and turned to face him. He had the supplies, and I nodded. We worked in silence together to heal Bella. We sat in silence as we waited for some hint she was responding. Just as I was starting to worry, her heart beat a little stronger, and her breathing deepened.

"She's going to heal Edward. I think you need to go talk to your sister. I'll let you know if there is any change."

"I'd much rather stay by her side Carlisle."

"There is plenty of time for that in the days to come, for now you have other wounds to heal." He nodded towards the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them.

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_(APOV)_

We ran day and night, over ice, snow, water and land. I knew she would need blood and as soon as we were close, Carlisle separated from us so he could run by the hospital. As we neared the house I smelled Bella, she had been here, and so had Edward. We went inside first, and I knew Edward had never left Forks, his scent here was too pervasive. Jasper's nostrils flared and he saw the small bottle and letter on the floor. We both knew what was in the bottle, and as soon as I read the letter, I knew we were too late. She would have gone to the river, so I led Jasper out the back, and immediately picked up both Bella and Edward's trails. The scent of Bella's blood honed us in on the spot, right where the trees thinned at the river bank. A silver flash caught my eye, and there was the ornately carved knife Bella had chosen for this final act. The ground was darker there as her blood had already seeped into the mossy ground. I stifled a scream, and a movement caught my eye. In an instant Edward was beside us with Bella's limp body in his arms.

"She's alive, barely. Where's Carlisle?" He paused to ask before dashing off to the house, my best friend limp in his arms.

She was even paler than me, no hint of the rosy blush that often graced her cheeks. Her pulse was barely there. Jasper told him Carlisle was getting blood and we followed him to the house. Edward laid her in my bed, and sent me off to find towels. I gathered up as many as I could carry and threw half of them into the dryer. She needed to get warm, and none of us could offer her any body heat. I took the others up to help dry her and contain any messes. Edward had one arm out of her cocoon and was getting ready to stitch up the wound. I couldn't look away from the slash she had made, I could almost feel the agony she had been in, and the release from the pain that she felt. Edward was concentrating on the fresh wound, but as my eyes scanned up her arm, I saw the many smaller cuts that were too recently healed. My knees felt weak, and I was pretty sure this was as close as a vampire got to fainting. My heart was breaking for her, for the pain she had lived with, the pain he had inflicted. I didn't know if I would ever be able to forgive him.

I snapped myself out of it, and set to towel drying her hair. There was just too much of it, and she needed to be warm and dry as soon as possible, so I ran for the hair dryer. When the buzzer sounded on the dryer, Jasper went to fetch the warm towels, and we laid them next to her body before wrapping her back up in the comforter. We had done all we could, and now we needed to wait for Carlisle. He wouldn't be much longer. I had to get out of that room with him, before I threw him through the wall, so Jasper and I went downstairs. I nestled the little bottle back into the box and set it on the table. I folded up the letter and put it back in it's envelope. Then I saw the second envelope with my name on it. I stared at it for a good five minutes before I felt Jasper's arms around my waist.

"What is it darlin'?"

"A letter from Bella. A goodbye letter. But she's going to live, so I don't think I should read it...maybe later." I tucked the letter into my purse.

At that moment, Carlisle flew through the door with a cooler and more supplies. "She's upstairs?"

I nodded. I joined Jasper on the couch and we listened as Carlisle laid into Edward about his stupidity regarding Bella. He always tried to respect our choices, but this one had grated on him and worn him down to the point that he could barely contain his outrage. The rest of us shared the sentiment, and it was a small relief to know the words were finally being spoken. I knew he would not leave her again, but the question was if she would let him into her heart again.

Carlisle came down the stairs then. "She is going to be just fine Alice. We're going to do the transfusion, you know he would never let me change her if he had a choice. Now that he has her back, he's not going to leave her again. We need to clean up any trace that we have been here, and then we will return with her to Denali and figure out where to go from there."

I nodded. Making plans for Bella without her knowledge made me uneasy. This wasn't going to be an painless journey for her, but I knew it was what had to be done. "She left a letter for Charlie. That, along with the knife and amount of blood in the ground near the river will be enough to convince him she's gone. He knows how much pain she's been in, and won't investigate further. It's best for Bella if she goes with us. Any other scenario and she has no future."

He nodded, then went back upstairs with the supplies he had brought from the hospital. Jasper and I waited downstairs in silence, wrapped in each other's arms. After what seemed like an eternity, I heard Bella's heartbeat strengthen, and relief washed over me.

At least until I heard Carlisle tell Edward he needed to talk to me. That is one conversation I was not ready for. Jasper felt me tense up and a sense of calm enveloped me, he was so good to me. I was aware of my brother's descent, and I rose to meet him at the table. My eyes were hard and cold, and his were filled with sorrow and pleading. We didn't speak for a while. We had always been so close, and I felt like I didn't know him anymore. How could he have left her like that. Of all people, I knew how much my brother loved her. How his eyes lit up at the mention of her name. He had started composing again, and they were so happy. Then he ripped her heart right out of her chest. Did he not think we could keep her safe? We'd done a pretty damn good job so far, and if he'd just go ahead and turn her then it would be much easier. But no, my brother was on some kind of moral high horse about not wanting to damn her soul, and refused to give her what she wanted most... immortality and a life with him...with us. She had begged for it, and it was only my love and respect for my brother that kept me from doing it myself. I'm not entirely sure I cared enough now to respect his wishes any longer.

"Alice..." I hardened my stare.

_I'm not ready to forgive you Edward._

Pain flashed in his eyes. "I know." He murmured.

I was livid and I played dirty, picturing all the times I'd watched them together happy and in love. The way the love poured out of her whenever she looked at him. He winced. Then I showed him the images of the visions I'd seen, her in his arms after he pulled her out of the river, the bloodstained ground. There was a tortured look in his eyes, and I was tempted to go further, but I felt Jasper's arms around me.

"Alice, you have to stop, you can't imagine the pain and guilt pouring off of him right now, I can barely stand it." He warned.

"I want him to burn with the pain she's lived with for the past few months." I spit out.

Now he was shaking with rage. "You think I haven't been in pain? Every day without her has been torture for me. It was all I could do not to run back to her, beg her to take me back." He was seething inches from my face now. "I did it for her, it was all for her. You know nothing about what I've gone through." He turned away from me and stalked to the living room.

I felt the anguish in his words and almost reached out to him. Instead, I followed him and stood behind the couch where he was sitting. "You're right Edward, I don't know what you've gone through. I can see you are in more pain than I've ever seen you in before. I know you thought it was best to remove us from her life, but I wish you had trusted me on this." His shoulders slumped forward. "You hurt me too Edward. You didn't trust me, as if I have ever led you wrong before. You were the one to first say 'no one bets against Alice', and yet, _you_ were the one who did. She was my best friend, and you took her away from me too." _You didn't even let me say goodbye._

He took a deep breath. "All I can say is that I'm sorry, and I know that's not enough. I know you're not ready to forgive me. I don't even know if Bella will. We're all going to have a lot of healing to do, but at least we're together now."

Carlisle joined us in the living room and we all looked up at him expectantly. "She's going to be fine, at least physically. I have no way of knowing what her emotional state is going to be. I went ahead and gave her a sedative." He held his hand up before we could voice our objections. "I know you all just want her to wake up, but she is extremely weak and just went through the most traumatic experience in her life. When she wakes up in our house, seeing us, seeing _him_, it's going to be more than she can handle. We need to get her to Denali safely before we can allow her to wake up. It's better for her to rest and heal before we expose her to any more emotional turmoil. Let's get this place cleaned up, and the jeep loaded."

Edward, Jasper, and I went upstairs and checked in on Bella. I sat on the edge of the bed and held her hand. She had some color to her now, and seemed to be resting peacefully. Edward leaned over her and kissed her on the forehead. Despite my anger towards him, my still heart lurched for my brother. He was a fool to try to give her up, they were made for each other.

"Edward, why don't you go pack. Jazz, there's a box of garbage bags downstairs, we'll need to take any evidence with us and burn it later. I'll get her dressed and pack a bag of clothes for her. We'll go shopping later for whatever else she needs."

The boys departed, and I pulled out some comfortable yoga pants and a t-shirt from my dresser. I unwrapped her from the comforter, and tossed the towels on the floor. She had always been thin, but I could tell this past month had taken a toll on her. She hadn't been eating. The cuts I had seen earlier weren't limited to her arms, there were more on her torso and thighs, all places that could be hidden. They sent a chill down my spine, knowing she had been trying to relieve the pain my brother had caused. I wondered how she could do that, knowing her reaction to blood in the past. A small pinprick in Biology class made her pass out, I have no idea how she managed to stay conscious with the amount of blood those cuts had spilled. Now that she would be with us, we'd be able to keep a better eye on her, we'd be able to smell it instantly if she decided to continue. Hopefully my brother's return to her life would put an end to it though. I dressed her, but my pants were definitely too short. Esme's clothes might fit better, they are closer in size. Carlisle was in his study, and I went to make sure it was ok with him, if I went through her clothes. He didn't see a problem with it, so I grabbed whatever I could find that was comfortable and warm and took them back to my room to pack. Jasper was standing over her bed, gently stroking her arm, and my heart ached with the tenderness of the scene. If he hadn't snapped at her birthday party, we would still be here and Edward and Bella would never have been apart. I knew he cared for her more than he liked to admit, and the guilt he felt had made him commit to gaining better control. I let him have his moment, while I pulled out a bag to put the clothes in.

Edward came back into the room then and I heard a low growl as he took in the scene. Jasper was too close to her for his comfort, and considering she had fresh wounds, he was on edge. Hearing Edward, Jasper backed off immediately. _He wasn't going to hurt her. Quit being a jerk. _He just glared at me. We worked together in tense silence putting the towels and used medical supplies into garbage bags. A few minutes later Carlisle joined us, a couple bags in tow as well.

"Ok, let's load up the jeep." He said.

We loaded up the trash bags as well as our luggage. On the way back up we made sure nothing else was out of place. Both Edward and Carlisle moved in to pick up Bella, but Carlisle yielded, seeing the pleading look in Edward's eyes. He scooped her up along with the blanket she was wrapped in, and I grabbed the pillows.

"We should probably burn the sheets too, don't you think?"

Jasper nodded thoughtfully as he pulled them from the mattress and brought them with us. With that, we were ready to leave. We would have to start over somewhere else, with new identities, but our family would be together. We would eventually be happy again.

Edward laid Bella on the back seat and slid in beside her, cradling her head and shoulders in his lap. I sat on the other side and held her feet. Carlisle pulled out of the garage, and we were on our way, without another glance behind us.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them.

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_(EPOV)_

As the sun set, we pulled away from the little town where our lives had been changed forever. I was ecstatic to have Bella in my arms once more. This was a new beginning and it would take a while for us to heal from what I had done. After I left her in the woods I only thought of my pain and hers, I hadn't stopped to consider how this affected the rest of my family. I had not realized how much Bella meant to them all. She wasn't just mine to love, she was a sister and a daughter in our family. As she lay in my arms, I couldn't tear my eyes away from her beautiful face. Her lips had some color to them, and she was healing, her heart beat strong and her breaths were deep and even. I was relieved and I was terrified. Terrified that when she woke up and saw me, that she would reject me. It would be my fault and I wouldn't blame her one bit if she never wanted to lay eyes on me again. I would never leave her again, I could never break her trust again. She had to trust me again.

I watched her sleep as we drove, soaking in every detail of her. There was a mall in Bellingham, where we would stop to pick up some clothes and other items Bella would need. Once we crossed into Canada there wouldn't be more than a few towns along the way. Carlisle and Alice went into the mall while Jasper and I waited in the jeep with Bella. An hour later they returned loaded down with bags from several different stores. Jasper chuckled as Carlisle feigned exhaustion, slumping in the drivers seat. Alice rolled her eyes and hopped back into the van.

"Did you expect anything less boys? You know the damage could have been much, much worse. Bella's going to need a whole new wardrobe of course."

We continued on our journey, crossing into Canada through side roads. The drive would only take about twenty-four hours. The trees and landscape flew by at inhuman speed, and we had no need to stop for food or sleep. We stopped once for Carlisle to give Bella more sedative, otherwise it was a quiet and uneventful drive.

The house in Denali was a huge log cabin nestled in between several national parks. There were no neighbors, and plenty of wildlife to hunt, including bears for Emmett. The coven consisted of Irina, Tanya, and Kate who considered themselves sisters, and then Carmen and Eleazar who were mates. As we drove up to the massive lodge, the entire clan, along with the rest of our family, were waiting for us in the snow. Carlisle rushed into Esme's waiting arms, and he gave everyone a quick update while Jasper and Alice began unloading the jeep. Emmett was pleased to see his jeep, and gave it the once over to make sure she was in good shape. Wanting to shield Bella from the freezing temperatures, I scooped her into my arms and darted into the house. Thankfully, they had a fire going, and I laid her on the couch closest to it. Everyone else followed into the house, and started putting things away. Esme approached me first, and I melted into her embrace. She had always been a mother to me, and I was ashamed and in pain. The Denali clan moved to the kitchen to give us some time as a family.

"I'm glad you've come back to us Edward, and that you've brought Bella. Everything is going to work out, just promise me you will stay." She took my head into her hands and kissed me on the forehead. "I cannot bear to lose any of my children." I nodded to convey my understanding. She joined Carlisle, who was checking on Bella, and knelt on the floor beside her. I watched as she murmured to my love and stroked her hand.

Rose scowled at me _Idiot_. Emmett clasped my arm in a show a support before following her to whichever room she had taken off to. _Welcome back, bro._

The Denali vampires were worried about Bella, and our family, wondering what they could do to help, or if they should stay out of the way. I went into the kitchen to greet them.

"Thank you all for your hospitality in opening your home to our family. I apologize for any strife I may have caused." Afraid to look them in the eye, I feigned interest in the pattern of the table runner.

Tanya spoke first . "Edward." And she swept me up in a hug. Irina and Kate followed with their own embraces. "You know you and yours are always welcome here. Bella will be back to herself in no time and things will get better." _Though if they don't...._ I held back a glare and looked away. Tanya had made no secrets of her attraction to me, and I felt guilty for rejecting her advances. Bella was the only woman for me, and I hoped Tanya would be able to accept that.

Carmen pulled me into a hug, and Eleazar grasped my arm. "We'll do whatever we can to help. We're here to offer our love and support. You are all a part of our family too."

"Thank you." I told them all sincerely, before heading back to Bella. I sat on the couch and pulled her into my lap once again, brushing a couple loose strands of her hair away from her face.

"Such tenderness and love, _mi amor_,surely they will overcome this." I heard Carmen murmur to her mate.

"We prepared the guest room for Bella. There is a comfortable bed and it has it's own bathroom. I'm not sure what else you may need for her, but please don't hesitate to ask. Esme and I have already stocked the kitchen with food, so as soon as she is able to eat, we'll be happy to prepare something." Kate paused and turned to Carlisle. "Will she wake soon?"

"She should wake in the next few hours, so we should probably get her settled. I will warn you all, I do not know what kind of emotional state she will be in when she wakes. Alice, Edward, and I will be in the room with her, and we should be able to handle whatever arises. Jasper, if you wouldn't mind lending your talents should we need them?"

Jasper nodded. "Of course."

"Thank you all for everything, please let us know how we can repay you." Carlisle started up to the second level where the guest bedroom was. Alice and Jasper took our things, while I followed with Bella.

The lodge consisted of a two story open living area that took up most of the house. There was a huge stone fireplace against the north wall. The rock mantle held an assortment of ancient artifacts. To the untrained eye, they were simply decoration, but considering the occupants of this house had roamed the earth for a thousand years, they were anything but. On the south side, there was a small kitchen, library, and two bedrooms tucked under the second level behind the stairs. Upstairs there were four more bedrooms, and two bathrooms. It was a simple design, but warm and open.

The guest room was upstairs on the right, and had a soft queen sized bed made up with lavender sheets, and a purple flowered quilt. Carlisle pulled the covers back and I set her down gently in the center of the bed, before tucking them back in around her. Then I sat beside her.

Alice was fluttering around unpacking, hanging up and folding Bella's clothes. She pulled out a pair of royal blue flannel pajamas and set them on the bed, then hung a fluffy velour robe on the door to the bathroom. I noticed she had picked up boots and a warm coat, along with all the accessories she would need for freezing temperatures. Alice truly thought of everything Bella might need. She went into the bathroom with another bag, and stocked all the toiletries, including Bella's favorite strawberry shampoo. No one could ask for a better sister.

Carlisle laid a syringe on the table next to me, and I knew it was in case we needed to sedate her again. I winced and hoped it would be unnecessary. He left for a moment, and came back with a glass of water as she would surely be thirsty when she woke up. Then he double checked his bag, wanting to make sure he had thought of everything. There is no way to prepare for the unknown, and we would just have to wait and see. Between the two of us, we should be able to handle it. Carlisle has studied and practiced medicine for over three hundred years now, and I held two medical degrees. The house was silent, anticipation thrumming through the air. Alice curled up on the love seat in the corner with Jasper, and Carlisle sat with Esme on the other side of Bella.

We waited.

I kept running the different scenarios through my head of how she might react when she woke. Panic set in when I thought of her rejecting me, I couldn't live without her. I had tried, and failed miserably.

Bella's breathing became uneven and her her face began to scrunch up, her eyelids fluttering. Carlisle looked up, and Jasper and Esme too their cue to leave, closing the door behind them. They both remained outside in the hall.

Carlisle looked at me. _Talk to her._

I steadied myself, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Bella, love, it's time to wake up now. Please, open your eyes, I haven't seen them in so long. Come on love, you're safe, wake up."

"Edward?" She mumbled.

"Yes love, I'm right here." I stroked her cheek. She felt the coolness of my skin and pressed her head into my hand slightly.

"I was right." She whispered with a small smile. "You are an angel."

"Bella, open your eyes, love. I'm not an angel. I'm here with you."

Her brow creased in confusion. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and blinked away the heaviness of sleep. She sucked in a quick gasp, and her eyes darted around the room, searching for some clue.

"Carlisle? Alice? Then I'm not...."

"No my love, you're safe."

"Hey Bella, I've missed you." Alice trilled, stroking her leg through the covers.

"Bella, can you tell me how you feel?" Carlisle asked.

"Confused?"

"Well that's to be expected. Do you hurt anywhere?"

She stretched a little, and lifted her limbs, turned her head. "A little sore all over, worse in my wrists...oh god..." Her face contorted and silent tears slid down her cheeks. She took in a ragged breath and sobs began to rip through her body. As reality crashed down on her, she curled up on her side. I laid down beside her and rubbed her back, my forehead resting on the pillow inches from hers.

"It's ok love, let it out. We don't have to talk about it now." I murmured.

At the sound of my voice, her sobs broke off abruptly. Now she would realize I was here for her, that I'd never leave her. I opened my mouth to tell her I loved her, but her eyes flew open as she shrugged my arm off of her. "Get. Off. Me." She spat through gritted teeth.

As much as I thought I had prepared for this reaction, her words cut right through me like steel. Her rejection was agony, and I fought the urge to run from the room. _Not until she tells me to go. I have to prove I'm here to stay._ I sat up on the edge of the bed, my fingers gripped into the side of the bed. I had to remind myself to loosen my grip before I ripped chunks out of the mattress. She turned over, her back to me. The silence was unbearable. After what seemed like an eternity, she took a few ragged, deep breaths and looked up at Carlisle.

"What happened?"

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" He asked.

"Actually...I need to use the bathroom first." She struggled to push herself up and winced at the pain as the stitches pulled at her wrists.

Carlisle grabbed her in order to keep her from hurting herself further. "Bella, stop. You'll need help." He looked at Alice.

"I'll take her. Come on Bella, I'm going to carry you, you're probably still pretty weak." She scooped Bella up effortlessly in her arms and carried her to the bathroom. After Alice had settled her back into the bed with pillows behind her, Carlisle handed her the glass of water.

"This will help the pain." He said as he pressed a pill into her hand. She shook her head. "Bella, don't be difficult. I know you are in pain, please, take it." She reluctantly swallowed the pill.

"Now tell me what happened." She demanded.

Carlisle hesitated, unsure of how much to tell her. "A few days ago Alice had a vision. She saw what you had planned, and we...Alice, Jasper, and I...got back to Forks as fast as we could to try to stop you. Thankfully, Edward was closer and he got to the river right before you were swept away. He pulled you out. Alice and Jasper arrived as he was taking you back to the house. Edward stitched up your wounds, and waited for me. We had to give you a transfusion, but you are on your way to being well now. A couple days of rest and good food and you will be fine."

He watched her intently, gaging how much more she could handle. Bella was staring at the foot of the bed, soaking in all the information, no hint of emotion on her face, she was eerily calm. When she realized he wasn't continuing, she looked up at him.

"Then what? Where are we?"

"Bella, we had to make some quick decisions without consulting you, and I apologize for that. Keep in mind that you had left a letter for Charlie, and the ground near the river was soaked in your blood. He would have known what you had done. Even if we managed to hide everything, the wounds would have taken weeks to heal. If anyone had seen you, things would have been very bad for us all. I probably don't have to tell you that you would have been hospitalized. You would have been drugged up, under constant watch. My family would have been interrogated, and our presence would have been extremely suspicious."

Bella was quiet for a long time, before taking a deep breath. "So you let them believe that I was dead."

Carlisle nodded. "You had made it very clear in the past that you wished to be one of us, Alice's visions consistently showed us that you would be one day, so we made the decision. I regret that we didn't have the opportunity to discuss this with you first. If we had waited any longer, Charlie would have shown up at our house."

"Where are we?"

"Denali, you remember us telling you about the other coven like ours that lives in Alaska?"

She nodded, thoughtful for a moment. "Why?"

"We thought it was far enough away..."

"No." She interrupted, her voice cracking with emotion. "Why did you save me?"

My heart shattered, and I whirled to her, agony etched into my face. "Because I can't live without you Bella. You are my life."

Pure venom laced her voice. "But you don't want me Edward. I'm no good for you. You left me. You all did." She glared at Alice.

I reached for her and she pulled away. "Bella, what I told you was lies, all lies. As if I could ever want anyone other than you. I left because I wanted you to have a normal, human life. I hoped that if you thought I had moved on, that you would too. I know now that I was wrong, so horribly wrong, and I almost lost you."

"You did lose me Edward."

"No Bella, please. Don't shut me out, let me prove to you that I am never going to leave your side again. Please, I love you." I whispered. "I can't bear to live without you any longer. I'm so sorry love, for the rest of my existence I will never forgive myself. I need you."

I was pleading now, begging. I would give my life a thousand times over to keep her safe. If only she would let me back into her heart. I didn't know what to do. Of course, I had hurt her, beyond that I'd obliterated everything we had together. How could I gain her trust again?

"Carlisle, I need to be alone right now" Her voice was shaky.

"I'm sorry Bella, but no. One of us will always be with you. I'll let you decide who stays."

She grimaced as understanding flashed across her face. "Oh you think I..." She shook her head. "You."

I could see the hurt on Alice's face as Bella made her decision. My pain echoed hers a thousand times, but I left the room quietly, and landed in Esme's motherly embrace. I sank to the ground as she held me to her chest and rocked me. Alice and Jasper sat beside us.

"Give her some time Edward. She loves you." Esme murmured.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them.

* * *

_(APOV)_

She had asked Carlisle to stay, not me, and that hurt. I should have called her at least, or sent an email. I planned on sneaking a visit at some point, and thinking back, I had no clue why I had been so utterly loyal to my brother about this. I had betrayed her, our friendship. I should have been there for her when he left. I don't know that I could forgive myself for leaving her when she needed me most. When he finally let me into her life, I was ecstatic. I saw her coming, and I knew we were going to be best friends. Sure, I had Rose, and while she was great for shopping and fluffy girl fun, there wasn't much sisterly affection there. Esme was more of a mother than a friend. Bella filled the role of friend and sister perfectly. We could talk about anything, and really connected. She was reluctant to join in on the shopping and pampering fun, but she indulged me. Jasper was everything a woman could ask for in a man, he was my soul mate, but Bella was the missing piece. In my many decades of existence, I'd never had a true friendship with anyone the way I did with Bella. I knew our relationship would be mended, sooner than hers and Edward's, but that didn't erase the regret and guilt I carried. I wanted to be in there, to take care of her, as much as Edward did. I could feel the pain radiating off of him and I didn't even have Jasper's gift.

Bella hadn't spoken since we left the room. I heard Carlisle pleading with her to talk to him, telling her she needed to eat something. He wanted some kind of response from her, but she was rejecting any kind of emotion. I had been constantly scanning her future since that first horrifying vision pushed it's way into my head, but it was so uncertain at this point, she had too many choices ahead of her.

Carlisle was talking again. Privacy in a house full of vampires was nonexistent. Our sensitive ears could hear the sound of snowflakes falling outside the house.

"_Bella, I can understand if you don't want to talk about it right now, but you need to eat. You are weak and you're not going to heal unless to build your strength back up. I'm sure a shower and some fresh clothes must sound nice too. At least let Alice come in and help you with that. Let Esme to bring you something to eat. You don't even have to leave the room."_

Silence.

"_If you don't want to see Alice or Esme, it can be someone else. Please Bella, we just want to help you. Don't shut us out."_

Minutes later.

"_Tell me what you want Bella." _His voice lowered with pain and frustration._ "Do you want to go back to Charlie? Renee? Somewhere else?"_

We all braced ourselves when we heard that question, looking at each other, waiting for her answer. What if she wanted to go back? Did she hate us all so much that she'd rather deal with all that, rather than be with us. I don't think any of us ever really thought she would not want to be with us, but after we abandoned her, had she turned against us? Her lack of response wasn't enough to fully dispel the tension in the air, but at least she didn't say yes.

Carlisle opened the door to Bella's room. We had been sitting outside in the hall for close to an hour.

"Alice, I think Bella might like to get cleaned up, would you mind helping her?"

"Of course." I hopped up and entered her room, closing the door behind me. She hadn't given any indication that she wanted me in the room or a shower. Carlisle was simply hoping she would respond to me, since we had been so close. He was worried.

Bella wasn't looking at me. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. I crossed to the bed and pulled her into a hug. She resisted at first, but as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks, she gave in and laid her head on my shoulder.

"I've lost everything Alice." She whispered faintly.

"No Bella, not everything. You still have us, and we're not going anywhere. I'm here as long as you want me. Bella, I know saying I'm sorry isn't enough. I should never have let Edward talk us into leaving in the first place, and I certainly should have insisted we give you some closure, we owed you at least that much. I love you Bella, you are my best friend, my sister, and I'm sorry I hurt you. I hope one day you'll forgive me."

She nodded and tried to stop crying, her breath hitching in her chest.

"Come on, let's get you freshened up. Did you want a shower or a bath?"

"Shower."

I pulled her to the edge of the bed, and she grasped my arms as she stood up, but she was still too weak. I scooped her up into my arms and carried her into the bathroom, setting her down on the closed toilet.

"Are you sure you don't want a bath? I'll wash your hair for you." I worried she was too weak to stand in the shower.

"I'll be fine, Alice."

"Ok, I'll be right outside, if you need any help."

I left the door open a little as I went back into the bedroom to freshen up her bed and pick up the room.

"Alice." Bella called.

"Right here." I stood just outside the door, the aroma of her strawberry shampoo swirled in the steam that escaped.

"I missed you."

"I know, I missed you too.." I wanted to apologize for my brother, but wasn't sure if I should bring that up yet. The heck with it. "You know, sometimes we have to let those we love make their own stupid mistakes, so they realize for themselves what is right. None of us wanted to leave, we tried to talk him out of it. He's moved on so many times for us without complaint, that we owed it to him. I know I can't fix my brother's mistakes, but I want you to know he truly does love you, he always will. I'm angry with him, and it will take a while for me to forgive him, but he is my brother and I feel I should at least tell you that he's never stopped loving you or wanting to be with you. He thought he was making the right choice and he what he did for you...he wanted the best for you."

"I know." She whispered.

I went over to the dresser to pull out some comfortable clothes for her. I pulled out a pair of baby pink velour pants and a matching long sleeve tee. Searching the top drawer, I found some fluffy white socks that would be nice and warm. As I returned to the bathroom door, the scent of her blood assaulted me, my throat burned with fire and my stomach churned. Through the red fog pounding in my head, I heard her sobs.

"Bella!?" _Please let her be ok!_ I risked entering the bathroom.

Edward flew into the room first, my thoughts of blood and burning reached him before my panicked voice alerted the rest of the family. In an instant he passed me and flung open the shower door. Bella sat in the corner hugging her knees to her chest, the water swirling pink down the drain. One of the wounds on her wrist was bleeding again and her face was ashen. Her dark eyes gazed vacantly at Edward. He shut off the water and scooped her up into his arms. I shoved a couple of towels at him and stood back to let Carlisle in. Edward laid her gently on the bathroom floor and began to dry her off. Carlisle started cleaning off the wound in order to get a better assessment.

Edward pulled her head into his arms and murmured into her hair. "It's going to be ok love. Carlisle is going to fix you up, and then we'll get you back into bed."

Carlisle pulled out some fresh bandages and spoke in a low voice for our benefit. "She wasn't trying to hurt herself. It looks like tearing, like she put too much pressure on her hand and it pulled the wound open again. It's a small opening, the water made it look much worse, it's barely bleeding. Alice, are you alright?"

I nodded. When it came to Bella, my control was ironclad, just as Edward's was. Our love for her outweighed any desire for her blood. We both spent so much time around her that we were used to her scent, and since she typically injured herself on a weekly basis, we'd grown accustomed to her unexpected fresh wounds.

"I'm just going to bandage this up Bella. Can you tell me if anything else hurts?"

She had instinctively curled into Edward's chest, her injured arm extended. His arms held her close, his nose buried in her hair. Tears still streaked her face, but she shook her head.

"What happened love?" Edward asked.

She hesitated. "I don't know...the water...and then the room started to spin...I braced myself on the wall and then I felt the pain, smelled the blood...." Quiet sobs choked her up again.

"Flashback." Carlisle murmured to himself as he finished dressing the wound. "Alright Bella, the cut just opened up a little bit, but it will heal again. Let's get you dressed and back to the bed."

She nodded, suddenly realizing that she was naked in front of three vampires. That familiar red stain swirled furiously through her body. Edward quickly whipped a towel over her. He lifted her into his arms and took her back to the bed. I gathered the clothes I had dropped earlier and brought them to the bed, dressing her as Edward and Carlisle moved away and turned their backs, discussing something...I didn't really listen. Once she was dressed, I pulled the covers back over her. She curled up on her side, and Edward came to sit on the bed behind her, rubbing her arm gently. We waited for her to react to his presence, to flinch or yell, or something. Instead, she closed her eyes and went to sleep.

As she rested, we all sat on the bed. Edward reclined against the pillows and kept constant contact with her. His presence had always soothed her enough to let her rest comfortably, and seemed to still have the same effect.

"She will be ok." Carlisle told us. "When she wakes again, we need to try to get some food into her. She is too weak and underweight, and needs the strength to help her heal. Edward, as long as she doesn't object you may stay with her, but if your presence makes her the least bit agitated, you will be made to leave the room. There is plenty of time in the future to repair your relationship, but right now it is time for her heal."

Edward nodded. He was used to being in control when it came to Bella, and being told what to do in regards to her grated on him. Thankfully he loved her enough to know that Carlisle was only looking out for what was best for her, while Edward was being led by his emotions. Since she had not rejected him being there, we decided that he would stay with her while she slept. Carlisle and I left the room, and closed the door behind us.

I was going to look for Jasper, but Rose found me first.

"So? The human is going to live with us now I take it?" She asked, glowering.

"Yes, Rose. We're all she has now."

"Why couldn't we have left her there for her father to take care of? He saved her, again, isn't that enough? We all left because of her, and now we've just taken her into our family indefinitely without even asking her. Maybe she doesn't even want Edward any more. Did anyone think about that?"

"Rose, you are just going to have to accept that Bella is, and always will be, a part of this family...unless she chooses otherwise, though that doesn't seem likely. She and Edward really need our support right now, especially after everything she's been through."

Rose scoffed. "She wanted to give up her life to be one of us, and then she tried to end her life. I just don't like her being forced onto us like this. There were better choices that could have been made. Edward had the idea when he walked away from her." And with that she spun on her heel and strode away.

Rose had been left for dead in the streets and Carlisle took pity on her and changed her. She always resented the choice being made for her. She would give anything to be human again. For once both her and Edward were on the same page – they didn't want Bella to give up her humanity for immortality. I suppose, since this is the only life I remember, that our outlooks were just too different. I didn't see what the big deal was – I loved my immortal existence. Maybe if I had human memories, or knew what I had given up, I would feel some kind of remorse. Bella was eager and willing to join us, she knew what to expect, and she loved my brother, and our family. She wasn't being forced into the choice, she was making it willingly, knowing what the sacrifice would be.

I heard Jasper's guitar on the front porch and headed out there to sit with him. He set down the guitar and pulled me onto the bench next to him. Carmen and Eleazar were sitting out there too. They smiled warmly as we kissed.

"How is _la pequeña_?" Carmen asked.

"Sleeping. She had a bit of a spell in the bathroom, but she allowed Edward to sit with her, so he's staying with her right now."

"There is much love between those two, the bond they share is much more than they realize." Eleazar commented.

Jasper spoke up. "I've never felt anything like it before. I know the depth of my devotion and love to my little pixie here, but their love is something even more pure, maybe spiritual even. It's not right for them to be apart."

"Alice, what do you see?"

"She will still be one of us, Carmen, eventually. Bella and Edward will be together, but it's going to take time."

Eleazar leaned forward with a serious look on his face. "Have you seen any danger or deception surrounding her future?"

"No, I haven't. I've been pretty distracted with everything that has happened over the past couple of days. Why? Have you sensed something?" _Please, no more danger, we've been through enough of that._

"The sisters went to town for the day." He gave me a meaningful look. "Tanya had been waiting for Edward to join you here, and it's putting it mildly to say she was more than disappointed when she heard he would be bringing Bella back. When Carlisle told us he had left her.... well you know how Tanya feels about Edward."

"Surely they wouldn't do anything...." I looked at Jasper, his jaw was clenched.

"I would recommend that you and Edward take some time to hone your gifts in on Tanya and her intentions....just to be safe. Bella is special, we all know that. She must be protected."

"Thank you for speaking up Eleazar. We have all been so focused on Bella, that we have been ignoring all else. I apologize that we haven't been better guests, though I know you both understand. I'll bring this up with Carlisle and Edward."

"No problem my dear, we are family and we must watch out for one another." With that, Eleazar held out his hand for Carmen and they flitted off across the snow into the wilderness.

I turned to Jasper. "You don't honestly think Tanya would do something out of jealousy do you?"

"It's hard to know for sure Alice. We've always counted them as family, but emotions can cause people to do terrible things." He gave me a knowing look. "We need to get Edward to spend some time with her, see if he can pull anything out of her thoughts."

"Yes..." I said absently, reaching deep into my mind to push into the future. I felt Jasper's arms wrap around me as the world faded.

As before I saw Bella waking as a vampire, her ruby eyes glowing, Edward reaching for her, our family nearby. I saw how stunning and controlled she would be. I shifted backwards in my time. I needed to see what led to that moment. Bella would eat, she would heal, she would spend many hours talking to me, to Edward, to Carlisle. There would be pain and sorrow, there would be happiness, and the love between Edward and Bella would be strengthened in the end. I tried to focus on Tanya. I saw her with her sisters in the town, shopping for clothes, more towels and bed linens since they had so many guests. Tanya excused herself and went to make a phone call, but I could not make out what was being said. She paused, hesitation and something else...regret?...flashed through her eyes. She finished the call snapped the phone shut and shoved it into her pocket. With her mouth set in a grim line, she headed back to her sisters who regarded her with a bit of concern and then they gathered their items to leave the store. I tried to push forward, but I couldn't find anything of significance. Frustrated, I shook my head to clear the images and brought myself back to the present. Jasper was waiting expectantly.

"Tanya is up to something, but I can't see what. She called someone. Who would she call and what would it have to do with Bella?"

He shook is head and shrugged.

"Everything is still the same for Bella, but there is a chunk missing that would show me what leads up to her being changed. I'll just have to keep searching, I know I'm missing something."

"Come on darlin', let's go talk to Carlisle while he's available."

"Good idea." I stood up and wrapped one arm around my waist as we went back inside the house.

We found Carlisle in the library, of course, reading.

"Carlisle, we need to talk, and we need Edward too." I told him.

"Now?" He asked, one eyebrow cocked with curiosity.

"It would be best if we spoke before the sisters get home. Can you ask Esme to sit with Bella for a while?"

"Sure, I'll be right back." He got up and left the room.

He returned quickly with Edward. "What's going on Alice? What did you see?" Edward asked.

I quickly showed him the key images of Tanya and bits of the discussion with Eleazar. Then I told Carlisle.

"Eleazar is concerned Tanya is harboring some ill will towards Bella. I searched for some clue, but all I saw was a suspicious phone call. I'm missing something, and I've never been able to see what events happen that lead up to Bella being changed. I always assumed it was because the decisions hadn't been made yet as to how it would happen, but it will happen. Edward, I know you try to give us the privacy of our own minds, and you've been so focused on Bella since you've been there. But we need you to see if you can find anything out from Tanya or her sisters, though I don't think they know what is going on, but they certainly suspect she is up to something. Tanya has never gotten over your rejection, Edward. She thought when you left Bella, that you had changed your mind, because we came here. She is quite upset you showed up with Bella, she was waiting for you."

Edward rubbed his hands over his face vigorously, and then raked them through his wild coppery hair. "Shit."

We all looked at him with bemused expressions, this was out of character for our normally uptight brother. "Like we need anything else on our plates! Isn't it enough that she almost died? No, now I have a jealous woman plotting...who knows what...why can't we just get a break?"

He was pacing, his anxiety filling the room.

"Bella is so weak, so fragile, especially now. Why would anyone want to hurt her? She's been hurt enough, and it's all my fault. And now, this is my fault too, all because I spurned Tanya's advances...because I chose Bella. Do you see now why I wanted to leave? I'm always putting her in dangerous situations!"

Carlisle grabbed him by the shoulders. "Edward! This is not your fault. You can't control the actions of others. You fell in love with Bella, and it's Tanya's fault if she cannot accept that. There are enough of us here to defend Bella, and one of us will always be with her. I can't see Tanya trying anything with all of us here, so we'll just make sure she doesn't get the chance to be alone with Bella. Everything will be fine Edward. You need to calm down, and you need to hunt."

Edward nodded sharply. "I'll go now while she's away, so I can stay near Bella when they get back. I'll see what I can find out later, and maybe have a talk with Tanya." Then he took off outside.

I sat down, weary from stress. "I will keep looking Carlisle. It's so frustrating to know I'm missing something, I'm sorry."

He laid a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Alice, no one expects you to be omniscient, we know it's not an exact science. Anything you can tell us helps. We'll get this all figured out, and Bella is going to be fine." He pulled me into a hug. "I'm going to go sit with Esme until Bella wakes up, you go and enjoy some free time. Don't worry so much, ok?"

"Sure, I'll try." I smiled meekly. He left the room and I decided to take advantage of the quiet to search some more.

Nothing much had changed. This time I saw Edward and Tanya walking outside together and talking, but nothing was revealed in my vision. Their conversation seemed a bit strained, but cordial, and subsisted of mostly idle chit chat. The vision followed Tanya after they were done and she was angry, yet remorseful. If I could just find out about what.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them.

* * *

_(EPOV)_

"Tanya!" I called out across the snow covered field. She had just arrived home with her sisters, and I was waiting for her. In a moment I was next to her. "Bella is sleeping and I thought I'd see if you wanted to take a walk. I feel badly that all my attention has been focused on her and I haven't spent any time with my friends."

"Sure Edward, let me just put my purse inside and I'll be right out." Tanya replied.

I just hoped she didn't take my invitation the wrong way.

She returned quickly and we set out through the snow. _Well he's finally here, and we're alone, but I bet he's still thinking of the human._ Yeah, she was bitter.

After a few minutes the silence was uncomfortable. "I wanted to thank you for taking in my family. I know it's probably been a strain to have so many people in your home for so long. It means a lot to me, considering it was me who asked them to leave Forks...."

"It's not a problem Edward, you know you are all family to us. It's been nice to have the company." _I just wish you had come alone._

"Well we'll be moving on soon enough, now that we're all together again. The past few months has been difficult for our family, but things are going to work out." I smiled at her.

She looked away from me when she spoke. "I'm glad to hear everything is going to work out Edward. You deserve happiness. We'll miss you when you leave of course. Hopefully you won't go too far, it's been nice having you close these past few years."

"Yes, it has been nice. You've always been a good friend Tanya. I hope we'll be able to continue that friendship in the future."

"Of course" She reached for my hand, but I saw her intention before the movement and shoved my hands into my pockets. _Just wait until the Volturi take your little pet away, then you'll come back to me. Victoria will be pleased, considering they killed her mate, one of their own kind, over a human. Traitors._

I almost gasped. The Volturi. Why would they be after Bella?

After centuries of practice, I didn't even flinch. I was good at concealing my emotions, and I was a damn good liar. I would finish this conversation, and deal with Tanya later.

"So did you have plans to travel any time soon? It's been a while since you all have been on vacation hasn't it?"

"Well, we tossed around the idea of going someplace warm this summer, spend some time on the beaches at night. Enjoy the locals." She winked. Tanya and her sisters enjoyed bedding human males. Enjoyed it so much that they learned to control their thirst for human blood so they left them alive at the end of the night. They were the originators of the succubus myths. "Do you know where you all will go next?"

"I'm not sure, the northeast probably...Maine sounds nice. It depends on everyone else though. I think Rose and Em are going to take off on their own for a little while"

_She doesn't like the human either._ "That sounds nice. It's about time for another wedding for Rose and Em isn't it?" She laughed.

"Yeah, probably, another year or two at the most. It would make number twelve." I smiled. Maybe I'll have a wedding of my own by then...if she ever forgives me. "Well, I just wanted to say thank you. I really should get back to Bella now. Did you want to race back?"

"No, that's ok...you go on, I'll be in later." Her thoughts were snarled with jealousy and regret. I knew what she had done, and the conversation was too awkward to continue any longer.

It was all I could do to contain my rage and walk away. Calling down the wrath of the Volturi on vampires you considered your family because you were jealous, was completely unreasonable. I couldn't stand to be in her presence for another moment. How could she do this, especially with Bella in the condition she was in. I was reminded that some of us are truly monsters.

I ran back to the house and up to Bella's room, where Carlisle and Esme were waiting. They both looked up at me.

"The Volturi." I said. The house went silent, and before ten seconds passed, every vampire in the house was in Bella's room. Their thoughts were confused and jumbled. Carlisle, Alice, and Eleazar understood immediately. Alice began searching, and I heard her gasp.

"They are sending Marcus, Demetri, and Felix."

"When Alice?" I asked.

"Two days."

"What does this mean? What's going on?" Irina asked.

Carlisle looked over at Bella's sleeping form. "Let's go downstairs to discuss this. Emmet, would you mind staying with Bella?"

"Sure." He replied, grumpy at being left out. Though he would still be able to hear everything.

We all quickly left the room and reassembled in the living room.

"Should we wait for Tanya?" Kate asked.

I started to growl, but a look from Carlisle warned me to cool it. _I'm not sure how to handle her yet, let's not cause any problems._

"We'll fill her in later." He crossed to the fireplace. "The Volturi are coming here. They are sending Marcus, Demetri, and Felix. They will be here in two days."

"Why?...What do they want?...What have you done?" Everyone was asking at once.

"They know about Bella. She is human and knows our secret, therefore she must be killed or changed." He said flatly.

I flinched. I knew what Alice's visions had shown since the beginning, but that didn't mean I had to accept it. Bella's humanity was too important to me, and there had to be some way around this. We could leave my family, travel around the world, staying far away from the Volturi so they wouldn't know. Alice could keep watch.... Surely they wouldn't concern themselves for more than a few years about one human. They would forget after a time and Bella would be safe.

Eleazar nodded and pulled Carmen tighter. "I knew something was amiss."

Alice agreed. "Me too, I was missing something before, but now that the decision has been made, it's become clear."

Carlisle turned to Irina and Kate. "I'm sorry we have brought this trouble to your house. We will leave as soon as they are finished with us."

Kate looked shocked. "But how would they know Carlisle? Someone had to tell them."

Suddenly everyone sensed her presence at once and looked up to the doorway. "I did." Tanya said.

Irina gasped. "Tanya, what have you done? Why?"

"They broke the only law we have. They let a human know about our existence, and they did nothing about it. What if she told someone?" She replied evenly.

"Tanya, they are our family! And you know Bella hasn't said a word to anyone. Why would you do this?" Kate admonished.

Tanya shrugged. "It doesn't matter why. They broke the law, and they shouldn't get away with it." _if I can't have what I want, why should he._

"But she's going to be turned eventually, you know this!" Alice was furious.

I was shaking with rage, and two pairs of cold hands gripped my arms and shoulders. Jasper and Alice were flanking me, prepared to hold me back if I lost it. _Not now Edward. This is not the way._ Alice warned. A small growl escaped my throat, I was seeing red. _Edward, enough!_ Carlisle moved in front of me.

"Well now we have a little insurance." Tanya smiled wryly. "If you'll excuse me, I'll be in my room." She strode away.

The room was silent for a while. Irina and Kate embraced, their shock and embarrassment evident on their faces.

Esme leaned into Carlisle. "But why would they care about one human enough to come all this way? Surely a phone call would be sufficient, considering your prior relationship with the Volturi. They would trust you of all people, wouldn't they? Or Eleazar?"

"Unfortunately, they have more interest in our family than I am comfortable with, because of how gifted our children are." He replied. "Aro would love any excuse to possess Alice and Edward."

Eleazar agreed. "He is quite the collector of unique abilities. I used to aid him in these acquisitions."

"Surely we can clear this up, can't you call them Carlisle? Tell them it's a mistake?" Kate asked.

"No, I only see more trouble if we try to intercept this – they will think we have something more to hide. We have to let them come to us, they need to see Bella, and will give us more time so she can heal first." Alice revealed.

"Is that it though? They are just coming to see Bella and make it known that she must be changed, right?" Irina didn't trust the Volturi. They had come for their mother a long time ago. She had made an immortal child, and only the three sisters' ignorance saved them from sharing their mother's fate. Child vampires had no control or restraint as they were frozen at whatever stage of development they had been at when bitten. They were utterly enchanting, but deadly. They were incapable of protecting our secret, and so they were all destroyed. It was a horrible time in our history.

"That is all that is on their agenda." Alice assured her. _They would jump at any chance to check up on the Cullens._ Her face showed her disgust.

Carlisle took a few moments to consider our options. "So we will wait for them. Alice, keep looking for whatever clues you can find. The law requires the human either be killed or turned. We know what Alice's visions have shown, and we all know what Bella's preference is. So, we will have to turn her, but when might be negotiable." He finished with a grave look upon his face.

My fists clenched at my sides. _Edward, it is unavoidable. You need to start working on accepting this as Bella's fate. _I glared at my father.

Esme broke the tension. "We need to decide on where to move to as soon as possible. If Tanya harbors ill will towards us, then I do not feel comfortable staying in her house any longer than necessary."

"You're right dear. Bella is well enough to move." Carlisle scowled. He had considered the sisters as family and learning of the betrayal hurt.

"We're so sorry Carlisle, that our sister has brought this upon you."

"No Irina, we brought this upon ourselves. We knew what we were doing, and we thought we could keep it from them since she would eventually be turned. We should apologize for bringing this into your home."

Rose cleared her throat. "Well Emmet and I are leaving. We were already thinking of traveling through South America for a little while. With everything that is going on, we're going to go ahead and go."

Everyone's heads turned towards her with disbelieving stares.

_Sorry Edward, I don't want to go, but you know how your sister is. It's probably best for Bella too, she won't have to deal with Rose's attitude while she recovers._ Emmett was listening upstairs and felt guilty for abandoning his family like this, but his devotion to his wife was more important.

"Why thank you so much for standing up for your family Rosalie. I'll be sure to remember that next time you or Emmett need our help." Alice said coldly. Jasper tried to soothe her but she shrugged him off. Alice caught my eye. _She is dead to me._ I shook my head with a scowl. Rosalie would always put herself first, and she certainly wasn't going to risk anything over a human.

"Alice." Esme chastised. "They are allowed to go their own way whenever they feel like it. Of course we wish you could stay, Rosalie, but we understand your choice and will miss having you home."

Carlisle just shook his head. He wasn't surprised by Rose's announcement, though he was disappointed. Rose left the room. _Going to pack, we'll be gone tomorrow._ I didn't even look her way.

"We knew we'd be moving on soon anyway, did anyone have a preference for where?" He asked.

"East Coast or another country would be best. We should be far away from Forks now that Bella is with us." Jasper suggested.

Alice nodded. "Someplace remote, especially if we're going to have a newborn vampire. We could all use a break from the high school facade for a couple years."

"Our house in Maine would be nice...or somewhere in Canada..." I added, having heard what Carlisle and Esme had been up to.

Esme looked at Carlisle and nodded with a smile. He returned the smile. "Well...we have some property in Newfoundland. There is a small cabin on the land, but Esme and I were thinking of building a new home there. It's beautiful, remote, plenty of wildlife..."

We all looked at Esme. "I really think it would be perfect. It would be nice to build a new home again." Her eyes were bright with excitement.

Alice shared the enthusiasm and nodded vigorously. "Oh that sounds perfect!"

"Hey, you had me at no high school." Jasper chuckled.

I didn't care where we went really, as long as I had Bella.

"Alright, it's settled then. Esme has already been working on the blueprints, and we'll get started with the arrangements. The cabin is small, just two bedrooms and a loft, but we'll make it work until the house is done. We thought we would have more time."

"I'm going to go back upstairs to Bella. I'm sure Rose will want Emmett's help packing, since they are leaving tomorrow." I stood up, ready to leave the room, when Eleazar's thoughts caught my attention. "Eleazar?" I turned to him.

"Right...Yes. Well, Carmen and I were thinking...and since Rose and Emmet are leaving for some time. If it is agreeable to you, maybe we could join you for a while?"

Carlisle leapt up and clapped him on the shoulder. "Of course old friend! We would be delighted to have you." He turned to the rest of the family. "Does anyone object?"

We all shook our heads. "Sounds wonderful!" Esme said as she went to embrace Carmen.

Kate and Irina retreated to one of the bedrooms. Their thoughts were full of shame and regret. They had no idea their sister would do something like this, and they felt betrayed. Kate looked back over her shoulder at me. _I'm so sorry Edward._ I shrugged. There was nothing that could be done about it now.

I headed back up the stairs to Bella. Emmett heard me coming and came out into the hall. _Bro, I'm so sorry. It's not right, not at all. Take care of my little sister ok? Don't hurt her again or else I'll come find you. Make her whole again. We'll come back eventually. Maybe I can win Rose over about Bella by then... _

He chuckled when I raised an eyebrow at that. "Well, I said I'll try." We hugged briefly and then I went to lay down next to Bella. She instinctively turned towards me and placed her hand on my chest like she used to. I stroked her hair absently and watched her sleep.

So much had happened over the past couple of days, and there was still so much more to come. It was too much to think about. Everything was my fault. I should have been strong enough to stay away from her after that first day. I shouldn't have risked exposing my family in order to save her. If I had been stronger, maybe she would be living a happy, normal, human life right now. Or not. If I hadn't been there, she would have been crushed to death by Tyler's van. But after that, I should have stayed away from her. If she had never been given the chance to fall in love with me, none of the other bad things would have happened to her. Everything since that had been my fault. James set his sights on her and tracked her because of me...and Alice...but my reaction made the game so much more alluring to him. She tried to end her life because I left her. And now, because I rejected Tanya, the Volturi were coming to force our hand into changing her. My entire family was in danger because I loved a human girl. I hated the thought of her becoming a monster like me. I couldn't damn her soul like that...but I couldn't let my mistake kill her either. As much as I fantasized about running with her and hiding her away from the Volturi, I knew it wasn't realistic. My family would never be safe, and neither would Bella. I had no other option, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

If I looked at my family – they were as happy, if not more so, than most humans. We enjoyed our lives. Sure we all had regrets or things we missed, but look at how much we had in front of us. We were comfortable, we had friends, family, love, money, education, travel...the whole world was pretty much open to us. I could have Bella for an eternity. I would miss her warmth, the sound of her heartbeat, the sight of her blush...but I would never have to watch her grow old, fall ill, or die. I could have her in my arms every day and night. I wouldn't have to endure sixty or more years of not being able to do more than gently kiss her, holding myself back, always afraid of losing control or hurting her. I could have hundreds, if not thousands, of years to ravage her without worrying about breaking her. No longer would her blood tempt me. I wouldn't have to worry about staying in control every minute I was with her. She wanted this, she chose me for eternity. Shouldn't I respect her wishes too? Why was what I wanted more important? I wanted her to have all the human experiences she would have in a normal life. I didn't want to take those away from her - there was no going back once you were a vampire. Rosalie had never gotten over losing her human life, after almost a hundred years she was still bitter. I didn't want that for Bella. But she was so sure this was what she wanted, she knew the consequences, the things she would never have, the life she would have to leave behind. She was willing to give it all up in order to spend eternity with me. Who was I to say no? It was her life, her soul.

My sleeping angel began to mumble in her sleep, as she always had. It brought back the memories of that first night I watched her sleep. I had crept into her room, her dark hair lay tangled around her pale face. I was sitting in the chair in the corner when she spoke my name. _Edward. Stay. Don't go. Please...don't go._ She pleaded in her sleep. In that moment I was forever changed. My kind are frozen in body and self when they become vampire. Change does not come easy to us. That night in her room, I made the decision that I could love her, I could be with her and keep her human. I accustomed myself to her scent, and tamed the monster with love. The resolve I felt that day came rushing back, but now there was a different course laid in front of me. I would have to change her, to keep Bella and my family safe, it had to be done. I couldn't risk losing her again, she was too fragile for my world, so she would have to adapt, because it was evident that I could not live in a world without her.

"_Edward." _

I was jolted from my thoughts. She was dreaming. The sound of my name on her lips sent a thrill through me.

"_Please don't leave me."_

Apparently, Bella was still having the same dreams.

"_You don't...want me?" _The little furrow between her brow appeared, the corners of her mouth turned down, and a tear slid down her cheek.

No, it wasn't the same. This was the nightmare she had tried to live through. The one she relived every night that pushed her closer to the edge each time. This is what I had done to her. If I could take away all the pain I'd caused, I would.

I wrapped my arms around her and murmured into her hair. "Shhh, love, I'm here. I do want you, forever." She relaxed a little bit and slipped back into a dreamless sleep. My Bella had a lot of healing to do.

Was I a fool to think she would still want me after all this? Alice had seen we would be together again, so we must work things out, but it would take some time. I wanted nothing more at this moment than to claim every inch of her as my own. I wanted to taste her sweet breath as I kissed her soft lips. I groaned, her warmth and scent swirling around me. Oh, how I craved her.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them.

* * *

_(EPOV)_

As the sun set, Bella finally began to wake. At first, she pressed herself closer to me, murmuring as she used to when I spent the nights in her room. Once she realized who was next to her, pain flashed in her eyes and she turned from me. I heard footsteps approaching the door and jumped up from the bed, sure that I was about to be made to leave. Carlisle's thoughts surprised me. _Just bringing food for her. You two need to talk about the Volturi, but please wait until after she eats. _

He knocked lightly and Bella sat up. "Come in." She said quietly.

Carlisle brought in a tray of food for her. "Hey Bella, it's time to eat something. Esme and Irina put this together for you. There's oatmeal, some fresh fruit, toast, and orange juice. The pills are iron supplements to help rebuild your red blood count."

Bella licked her lips and looked hungrily at the food. "Tell them thank you for me, will you Carlisle?"

"Of course. How are you feeling Bella?"

"I'm ok." She shrugged.

"Do you need anything? If you're in pain or feeling anxious I can give you something."

She popped a piece of melon in her mouth. "No, I'm fine for now."

"Alright, let me know if anything changes." He paused and looked from me to her thoughtfully. "Bella, Edward needs to talk to you after you are finished eating. I know you may not be ready for that yet, but he has some things he needs to tell you, and I need you to listen. Can you do that?"

Her eyes grew wide with panic for a moment, probably remembering our last talk, but she nodded. "Ok." She barely whispered.

"We'll be right outside. If you need anything you just have to call for us." She nodded again, her mouth full.

Carlisle looked at me pointedly. _She will be turned if that is what she chooses Edward, I will do it myself if you can't. _

"I know." I replied sullenly. It wasn't fair to force this choice on her. Damn Tanya and her jealousy. I'd done everything I could to keep her human. All the suffering we both endured was for nothing, because now Tanya had forced our hand to end the life I'd fought desperately to save. Bella never had a chance, I accept that now. From the moment Fate brought her to Forks, her future was sealed. What an idiot I had been thinking she would come out of this unscathed. I laughed bitterly.

"Never bet against Alice, right Carlisle?"

His look was sympathetic. "Indeed not, son." _I already told the rest of the family this, but there will be no retaliation against Tanya while we are here Edward. We are guests in her house and she was doing what she thought was right. _

I nodded in acknowledgement.

Bella looked up at us, confused, then shrugged, remembering how cryptic our conversations had always been.

Carlisle smiled at her regretfully. "Alright Bella, I'll leave you two for now. Enjoy your meal."

"Thanks again Carlisle."

"Not a problem." He said as he closed the door.

I made myself comfortable on the other end of the bed and watched her eat. She made it a point not to even look at me, I deserved that, and just being near her was enough for now. She was finally getting what she wanted, and I was going to enjoy every human thing she did from now until then. Maybe I could talk Alice into making a video of her...we could say Emmett wanted to record her last clumsy human moments. I smirked. My family really loved her.

Bella suddenly got up from the bed, pulling me from my thoughts. She headed to the bathroom. Ah well, maybe there were some human moments we didn't need to record. I chuckled.

When she appeared back in the room, she looked refreshed, her skin damp, and her hair smoothed down. She had tried to brush it, but I heard her gasp at the pain in her wrist, so she gave up. I briefly considered offering to do it for her, but thought that was probably pressing my luck. Bella finished off her food and swallowed the pills, downing the last of the orange juice. I cleared the tray from the bed and set it by the door.

"Do you need anything else Bella?" I asked.

She was sitting on the bed, arms crossed over her chest. "No, let's just get this over with. What did you need to talk to me about?"

I sat on the opposite side of the bed again, giving her some space.

"I'm so sorry Bella, for everything. You've already been through so much, and it's not fair to add more to it. If there was any way around it, believe me, I would do anything to avoid it."

She gave me an irritated look.

"There has been...a complication. Do you remember me telling you about Aro, Caius, and Marcus, in the painting?"

Bella nodded warily.

"Well, they are the leaders of the Volturi. The Volturi are like the royalty of vampires, the ruling class. They enforce our laws."

"Vampires have laws?" She scoffed incredulously.

"Yes. Well just one really...keep the secret. If any of us risk exposing vampires to the world, they deliver swift justice."

"Oh." She frowned. "What does this have to do with us? We haven't exposed anything."

I sighed. "Bella..._you_ are human. _You_ know our secret."

"But it's not like I've told anyone, or that I ever will. How did they find out anyway, surely they don't send out spies to keep tabs on every vampire in the world?"

"No they don't. However, someone has betrayed us. Someone who was jealous of my affection for you."

"That bitch." She growled.

"Yes, indeed." A smirk playing on my lips from the sudden ferocity of my usually tame Bella. "Tanya made a call to the Volturi and told them we had befriended a human and that you knew our secret. They are coming to pay us a visit. They'll be here in two days."

She sucked in a deep breath. "So what do we do? Or what will they do?"

"The penalty is that you must either be turned or...killed." I winced.

She couldn't hide the distress that flashed through her expression.

"Bella, I never wanted this...if there was any way around it, you know I would try to get out of it..."

Her expression took on a sour note. "Of course you never wanted this Edward, that's why you left me."

"Bella, I..."

"Don't!" She barked at me. "You never wanted this, Edward, because you didn't want _me_. I always knew I wasn't good enough for you. Always hiding behind your morals, making excuses why you didn't want to turn me. You didn't want me to be a vampire, because you didn't want to be stuck with me for eternity. After a few years I'd be older and you would have moved on anyway, you were doing me a favor trying to end it early instead of dragging it out. _I've let this go on much to long_, I believe you said. I guess I should be thankful I didn't waste more time thinking you loved me. I was just one of your many distractions." She spat at me.

"Bella, no! You don't understand."

"Oh I understand. Tell me then, why did you bother to save me. Why don't I ever get to decide what happens to me? It's _my_ life damn it! You took everything away from me. I couldn't go back to Charlie or Renee now if I wanted to. So why did you save me? At least if you had just let me die in the river, you wouldn't have to watch the Volturi kill me. Tell me Edward, will they drink my blood? Will you watch them have what you denied yourself? Maybe they'll make you kill me, wouldn't that just be ironic. A perfect punishment to make you kill what you tried so hard to save." Her eyes burned with anger now.

I growled, disgusted with the thought. They would have to kill me because I would never do that.

Suddenly, my rage melted away as I replayed her words through my mind. She was right. I had never let her make her own choices. I always decided what I thought was right for her, and forced it on her. Shame burned through me. I had only meant to protect her, but I can see how wrong that was. If I was ever going to get my Bella back, I had to let her make her own decisions.

"It will be your choice Bella."

"What?" She asked, surprised.

"If you want to be turned, Carlisle will turn you. It's your choice, I have no say in this."

"Why would I want to be turned Edward? Tell me what there would be for me if I was? Let's see, I wouldn't have you, or Charlie, or Renee. I couldn't see any of my friends or family. An eternity of pain and suffering...no thank you, I'd rather be dead. I would have been if you had just stayed out of it like you promised. What did you say...oh yeah..._This will be the last time you see me...I'll never put you through anything like this again_. What a stupid lamb, expecting a lion to actually keep his word. Just let them finish the job Edward, and I won't be around to bother you any more." Her voice turned to quiet acceptance. I was stunned as I realized how completely she believed what I said that day. She was convinced with every fiber of her being that I didn't want her.

I was in front of her in an instant. I tried to take her hands, but she pulled away from me. "Bella, please, just listen to me for five minutes!"

She jerked her chin up, willing her tears to not betray her. One escaped, making a wet trail down her cheek and I reached out to wipe it away. She flinched at my touch and pain shot through me.

"Bella, I love you. I love you so much I can't stand it. I want you, only you. I want you for eternity. Please, just give me another chance. Let me prove that I'm not going to leave you ever again."

"Please don't do this Edward." She whispered, choking back the sobs.

"I have to Bella. You have to know the truth. I lied that day. I knew you'd never let me go unless you believed that I didn't want you anymore. I told you what I had to in order to get you to let me go. I thought you would move on, find happiness with someone else...someone human who could love you, keep you safe, and give you children. I thought I could be strong enough to stay away, to let you lead the life you should have had. I never left Forks, Bella." Her head snapped around to meet my gaze. "I was there every time you came to the house. I used to wait until you were gone and then sit where you had been sitting, breathing in your scent...I could almost feel you there beside me. I was already planning on coming back to you, begging you to forgive me, to take me back."

"You...were there...the whole time?"

I nodded. Her eyes narrowed.

"And you saw how much pain I was in? What your leaving did to me? And you just hid in your house and let me go through that?" She was yelling now, shaking with rage.

"I had to give you a chance to work through it Bella. You needed time to try to get over me."

"There was no getting over you Edward. You were my life! When you left you ripped a hole through my soul that was never going to heal. You never loved me. If you loved me, you never would have sat there and watched me go through that."

Rage shuddered through my body. "Don't you ever tell me I didn't love you. You know nothing Bella, nothing! Ask my family what I was like after that day. I could barely get through a minute at a time, the agony consumed me that much. Ask Jasper how wonderful it was to be in the house with me. I kept wavering between begging you to take me back and going to the Volturi to ask them to kill me. I can not live in a world without you Bella. If anything ever happened to you, I would find a way to end my existence." I dropped to my knees in front of her, pleading with my eyes for her to believe me. "I stayed because I couldn't bear to be away from you. I can't lose you again Bella, I can't take it. Please, please choose this life. Let Carlisle turn you. I do want you for eternity Bella, please say yes."

The shock was apparent in her expression. She never expected me to give in, let alone beg her to be turned. Bella stared past me for quite some time, and when she finally met my eyes, there was deep sorrow in her expression.

"Where would I go Edward?"

"What do you mean? You can stay with my family."

"How I can I stay with your family, seeing you every day?"

"I'll leave if you want me to. Whatever you want, I'll do it Bella. If you can't bear to be near me, then I'll go somewhere else. My family loves you and will welcome you with open arms."

"No Edward, I couldn't ask you to leave. They're your family." Her voice was soft and the tears had stopped.

"They're your family too Bella." I chuckled. "In fact, I'm pretty sure they would gladly trade me for you at the moment. They aren't too happy with me."

"Oh I doubt that." She said. "What about them though....would they want to be stuck with me for eternity?"

The door opened and my family walked into the room. Bella rolled her eyes, knowing they had been listening the whole time.

"Of course we do Bella." Esme gushed. "We already consider you our daughter, our sister."

Alice danced over to the bed. "Bella, you don't know how long I've waited for you. I'm not about to lose you again. I'll turn you myself if I have to." She smiled and pulled Bella into a hug.

"I just don't want to be a burden or cause tension in your family." Bella whispered.

Carlisle walked over to us and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Bella, we will work everything out. It might take some time, but we've always expected you would join us one day. We love you and you will always be welcome in our family."

Bella looked away, trying to blink back the tears. Esme, Carlisle, and Alice embraced her and they stood like that for some time before breaking apart. I reached for her hands, and she didn't pull away.

"Then you'll do it?" I asked quietly.

She nodded, then let out a sarcastic little laugh. "Obviously something out there wants me to live. How many times now have I been laying on death's doorstep only to be whisked away?"

The corner of my mouth twitched with a smirk. How true that was. "What about us?"

She sucked in a breath. "I don't know Edward. I'm not ready to even think about that. You've given me a lot to consider today. You've lied and broken promises to me. How do I know I can trust anything you say? You hurt me. The things you said to me that day cut through me deeper than any blade I've put to my flesh." She pulled her hands away and held out her wrists. "These scars are going to heal a lot faster than the ones you caused." I flinched.

"That's fair. What can I do to gain your trust again?"

"There aren't any magic words that you can say to erase everything. You're going to have to figure this out on your own. You didn't just break up with me. Because of you, I'm dead now." She let that sink in, then in almost a whisper, "I don't even know if it's possible to get past something like this."

"You will Bella." Alice murmured.

She looked up at her friend, disbelieving. "I don't see how." Then she turned to Carlisle. "When are we going to do this?"

"I'm not sure Bella. Marcus will be here in two days. We're hoping they'll give us some time once they see how much you need to heal. We'll talk about it later, we don't have to figure out all the details right now."

She nodded solemnly.

We all stood for a moment looking at each other, unsure of what to say. I had killed her, that was the truth, plain and simple. Again, she was right, how do you get past something like that. How do you ever forgive, let alone love, the one who took your life away? Deep sorrow set in. What if she never forgave me? Would it be enough to just know she existed? Should I go to the Volturi anyway, remove myself from her life, once and for all, so she could be happy again without the constant reminder of what I did to her? I promised not to leave her again, but if she wanted me to leave, I would go to Italy...

"Don't you even think about it Edward Cullen!" Alice screeched.

All heads in the room whipped towards her. "What is it Alice?" Jasper asked

"Nothing, for now." She glared at me. _You get those thoughts out of your head right this minute. She is going to forgive you, and yes she is going to love you again. Don't you dare do anything to screw that up, or else I'll lose both of you. This family will never be the same Edward. _

I refused to look at her.

Changing the subject, Alice perked up. "Well Bella, are you ready to come downstairs yet? I want to show you the snow in the moonlight!"

"I guess, can I change first?"

"Of course!" Alice danced over to the dresser to find an outfit for her.

"Bella, I'd like to take a look at your wounds and redress them if that's ok?" Carlisle asked.

"Ok." She shrugged.

I watched as he unwrapped the bandages from her wrists. The ugly red slashes were starting to heal. He had her move her wrists around to make sure she had full range of movement, and she winced.

"It hurts?"

She nodded, biting her bottom lip. "Yes, there are some things I can't do quite yet...like brushing my hair." She blushed.

"We'll help you Bella, please don't hesitate to ask anytime you need something. I can give you something for the pain."

"I really don't like the way they make me feel Carlisle." She shook her head. Bella knew all too well the effect pain killers had on her after numerous trips to the emergency room.

"I can give you something milder. How about a couple of Tylenol?" He smirked.

"Sure." He pulled out a bottle from his bag and gave her two small white pills. "Thanks."

"Do you feel any numbness in your hands?" He asked as he pressed on each finger and across her palms.

"No."

"Alright. I think you're going to be fine once they heal. There's no infection. I'm just going to bandage them up again."

She nodded, patiently watching him apply the gauze and tape.

"Thanks Carlisle."

He patted her on the leg. "Anything for you Bella."

"Ok, everybody out! Give the girl some privacy, we'll be down in a few minutes." Alice ushered everyone out of the room. "You too Edward." I took one last look at what I had lost, before Alice shut the door and I followed my family down to the living room. I was a fool to think things were ever going to be the same between us.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them.

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_(EPOV)_

As we descended the stairs, the angry voices of the three Denali sisters reached us from Tanya's bedroom.

"Do you really think the Volturi would leave us alone a second time?" Tanya hissed. "We were innocent to what Sasha had done, but we've known about Bella for a while now. We couldn't risk getting involved. So I cleared our names by being the one to report them. We'll be safe."

"Really Tanya, I don't think you know Caius as well as you think you do." Kate snorted. "You just brought their attention back to us. They wouldn't have found out about Bella at all if it weren't for you, and we'd be much safer. Now they are coming here and what if they think we should have said something sooner? What if they are angry that we kept it from them for too long? Sister, did you really think this through?"

"They killed one of their own kind to protect a human. They ripped Victoria's mate to pieces and burned him. I don't care what Laurent told you about James, he was one of us, and she loved him. Why should he get to keep what he loves, when no one else does!"

"You'd think you'd never been rejected before Tanya. We all know what this is really about. Just because he didn't want you is no reason to turn on Carlisle. I'm ashamed." Irina chided.

"What did you expect to accomplish from this? Did you think he would come running to you if they killed her, do you think he's going to thank you for forcing them to turn her? You obviously don't know anything about Edward if that's the case."

"Come on Kate. We are going out there to spend some time with our _friends _before things get messy. I'd suggest you keep a low profile, and we'll discuss all this after they leave. I'm disappointed in you sister. If there had been more at stake, I might understand. But jealousy? Hasn't your thousand years of experience taught you anything?"

Irina and Kate come out of the bedroom and headed towards the living room. _I guess you heard that?_ Kate cocked an eyebrow at me and I nodded.

"How is she?" Irina asked.

"As well as can be expected. She's starting to heal and she wants to be turned. Edward explained everything to her, I'm sure you heard it all." Carlisle explained.

"Yes, she's a feisty one. Such a strong spirit. I can't tell you how horribly we feel about what has transpired here."

"Everything will work out. Bella is quite resilient...she's not as breakable as Edward would have you think." Alice laughed dryly. "We've known for a while this day would come."

"She's going to be amazing." Eleazar said softly. "She is already gifted, I cannot wait to see what comes of it after her transformation."

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Edward, have you forgotten that she is the one exception to your gift?"

"Of course not, but what does that have to do with anything." It drives me insane not knowing what's going on in her head.

"It indicates that she is some kind of shield. Whereas Kate's gift is an offensive one, Bella's will most likely be defensive...she will be able to block others' powers."

Carlisle and I exchanged a look. _It does make sense. Eleazar is seldom wrong. He's always been able to sense the nature of the gifts others possess...the Volturi used him to discover new talents._

Yet another reason for those vultures to be interested in our family. I hoped Tanya wasn't listening or at least that the information didn't register. "I think we should discuss this at a later time." My eyes darted back towards her bedroom.

"Yes, I agree." Carlisle said.

Eleazar nodded and then looked at me meaningfully. _I wonder if Bella would allow Kate to test her power on her?_

I shook my head emphatically. "Not until she's turned." He shrugged.

Jasper stood up. "Eleazar, I was wondering if maybe we could take a walk and discuss something. Carlisle and Edward, I'd like you to come too."

"Sure." We followed him out of the house and ran for some time before we were sure we'd be out of earshot.

"Eleazar, any ideas on why they would be sending Marcus in particular?" Jasper asked. His history with war was too ingrained. He had a strategic mind and wanted to be sure we'd thought out all the possible scenarios. "It's not in my nature to trust that they have good intentions, knowing how interested they are in our family. Of course, if they were sending Caius, with Jane or Alec, their purpose would be clear. Their choice piques my interest. I am wondering if they have a hidden agenda, despite the fact Marcus may be most sympathetic to our situation."

"It had crossed my mind Jasper. Marcus is the least likely to resort to violence, but he is not without his own gifts. He sees relationships. Not just romantic ones either. He can tell who is tied to who, when those loyalties begin to waver...it can be extremely useful on the battlefield. This may be some kind of investigation to gauge how tightly our two covens are bound. Twelve vampires working together certainly presents a sizable threat to the Volturi, but when you add in the gifts our friends possess, I can see how they might be nervous."

Jasper thought for a moment. "So this would be considered the first wave. Gathering information on the enemy, maybe? They know Tanya has betrayed us, and perhaps they want to see how strongly the rest of us are tied to each other. See if we are still a threat, or if we are crumbling."

Carlisle nodded. "That would make sense, and it's a good time for him to come. If they see how several of the ties between us are weakened at this moment, we will be considered less of a threat, and perhaps left alone. This is a hard time for our family, and our bonds are strained."

"Or they might see it as an opportunity to take us out while we are weak." I considered.

"The Volturi can be quite devious. It is something to keep in the backs of our minds, because there may come a day when they decide we are too much of a threat, or that Aro refuses to be denied you and Alice any longer. For now, I am sure that is not their intention." Carlisle was more trusting than the rest of us, but he had also spent time living with the Volturi, so I respected his opinion.

Eleazar nodded. "We should still be on guard of course, but I agree with Carlisle. Was that all Jasper?"

"For now." He replied.

"While we're out here, shall we hunt?"

"I'm always up for a hunt." Jasper grinned. "Come on Edward, if you catch yours first, I'll buy you that new stereo for your car."

I knew he was just trying to improve my mood, but I'm not sure anything could do that at this point. I just wanted to get back to Bella, to be near her again. Even if she didn't speak to me, just being in the room with her soothed the ache in my chest. Jasper's grin faltered. _I've missed you._ I'd let everyone down.

Forcing a small smile, I decided to start trying to mend the relationships with my family. "Sure brother." Carlisle allowed himself a glimmer of hope as he watched us race off into the snowy forest.

I was waiting by a tree with the carcass of a lynx when Jasper flew out of the woods with his caribou. _Fair enough, you win. _He came over and clapped me on the back. _I'm glad you're back home Edward, things just haven't been the same without you._

I wasn't sure things could ever be the same, but it was nice to be with my family again. "Same here, Jasper." We waited for Carlisle and Eleazar to join us and then we headed back to the lodge.

As soon as I was close enough to hear Bella's heartbeat, the ache lessened. Jasper noted the change in my mood and flashed me a grin. As we entered the house, my eyes found Bella huddled on the couch in front of the fire. She turned her head as if to see who had come in, but her eyes were empty. Silently, she turned her head back towards the fire, watching the flames intently.

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A/N: Thank you to all of you for reading my story and for the reviews! Sorry this one is short, more next time. I love hearing from you, so let me know what you think so far.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them.

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_(APOV)_

Bella was still sitting on the bed where she had been when I hustled my family out of the room. She was idly tracing the lines of the bandage on her wrist. I sat down next to her, but she didn't take notice.

"You want to talk about anything Bella?" I asked softly.

She shook her head. "I'm just so lost Alice."

"If you need anything, just ask. If you want to talk, or read, or write, or listen to music, just let me know and I'll do whatever I can to help. You'll find your way again Bella, I promise."

"It's funny, the one thing I wanted most is now being handed to me, and I really don't know for sure if I still want it. Either way, neither can be undone."

"You are making the right choice Bella, you just have to trust me. I would tell you not to do it if it was going to go badly, you know that. Take it one day at a time and everything will work out."

She nodded and the corner of her mouth twitched up for a moment, but she just seemed so empty. I knew she would be happy again, but it hurt so much to see her having to go through all this. I wished there was some way to show her my visions the way Edward saw them. It would make it so much easier for her to trust me. I got up and searched through the drawers until I found the pale blue lounge set I'd bought her. The pants and top were both warm and soft, and I added some thick wool socks to the pile. She took the clothes from me and went to the bathroom to change.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" I asked before she closed the door.

"I'll be fine."

When she came out, I motioned for her to sit on the bed, and I grabbed a brush from the bathroom. Bella started to protest, but I cut her off. "Bella, just let me do this." As I pulled the brush through her hair, she seemed to relax a little. I mentally made notes as to what hair care products I needed to buy in order to put the shine back into her long locks, and she definitely needed a trim.

I put the brush away and returned to stand in front of her. Gently cupping her face in my hands, I tilted her head up so I could look her in the eye. "Bella, we love you, and you will always be a part of our family. Don't ever doubt that, ok?" She gave me a slight nod. "Are you ready to go downstairs now?" Another ever so slight nod. "I won't leave your side if that's what you want." A small forced smile and a deep breath.

We left her room and headed down the stairs. I made sure to hold onto her so she didn't trip or fall. Esme and Carmen were sitting on one of the couches waiting for us, worry etched into their marble faces. Irina and Kate were at the dining room table playing a card game, but they stopped and watched as Bella came into the living room. I helped her over to the couch closest to the fire and made sure she was comfortable.

"Can we get you anything Bella?" Esme's musical voice floated through the silence.

"No thank you Esme." Another forced smile. Looking over at the table, she continued. "Thank you all for welcoming me into your home. I'm sorry I brought trouble with me...seems to follow me everywhere." She mumbled the last part.

Irina and Kate were instantly by her sides on the couch, hugging her. "Please don't think that Bella. No one blames you. We're glad you're here, though of course we wish it was under better circumstances. We've heard so much about you and were looking forward to meeting you."

Bella shook her head. "They should never have brought me here, now I've put your whole family in danger too."

"No Bella, Tanya put our family in danger. This is not your fault." Kate patted Bella's leg firmly.

Carmen stood up and came over to the couch, indicating to Irina she'd like to sit next to Bella. Irina gave Bella another quick squeeze and then moved to one of the empty chairs. Carmen pulled Bella into her arms. _"Mi niña preciosa, _we are family now. Your trouble is our trouble. Your danger is our danger. You did not force yourself on us, we welcomed you with open arms. Your vampire family has been sick with worry and grief. They never wished to leave you, and will not make that same mistake in the future."

Esme stood up. "No we won't Bella. We will not leave you again, even if one of our children asks us to." Kate gave up her seat on the other side of Bella and Esme sat down. "I consider you a daughter to me now, and your wellbeing and opinion matter just as much as anyone else." She took Bella's hand into her own, and her voice softened. "I hope one day you will be able to forgive us Bella."

"There is nothing to forgive you for Esme. Edward is your son, and you had to protect your family."

"You are our family too. Never doubt that Bella. We will protect you and we will fight for you, always." Esme tried to reassure her.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Esme hugged Bella once more and stood up. "Now, we're going to go fix you something to eat. You just sit here and rest and let us know if you need anything, ok?"

Bella nodded slightly. "I'm really not that hungry."

"I know dear, but you have to eat in order to heal. At least try to eat a little of it." Esme patted her shoulder gently.

Bella shrugged and turned her attention to the fire. Esme, Irina and Kate ran off to the kitchen to figure out how to cook Bella's meal. At least I knew it would turn out edible. Cooking was not something that held any interest for me. I had no memory of ever eating human food, let alone preparing it.

Carmen and I left Bella on the couch and moved to the one opposite of her. We started discussing decorating details for the new house, and I ran upstairs to get one of the binders I had started putting together with Esme. We became engrossed in the details while Bella just rested by the fire. She was staring intently into the flames, I assumed thinking about everything that was going on. Carmen noticed me watching Bella and whispered too low and fast for human ears. "She's been through too much for her mere eighteen years of life. It's not fair."

"No, it's not fair. I mean, eventually good things have to start happening."

"_Si._ Such a strong character, such bravery. Something good is coming for her, it has to be."

_Not a while._ I sighed to myself. Bella still had a rocky road ahead of her, but our family would see her through it.

The guys were coming back now, I could hear them just a few seconds away. When the door opened, the blast of cold swept through the room. Bella turned her head towards the door, but she wasn't really seeing anything. Her eyes were so empty and flat. Carmen and I got up to greet our husbands, when an odd noise caught everyone's attention. Carlisle locked his gaze on Bella and a concerned look crossed his face. It was a cough. Bella was coughing. Vampires don't get sick, so it was quite a foreign sound to most of us. Both Carlisle and Edward flew to her side, laying hands on her forehead, quickly checking out her vitals with their vampire senses. Not that anyone in the house couldn't hear her slightly accelerated heart rate and breathing. Edward was watching Carlisle and nodding, the usual sign they were having a silent conversation.

"How are you feeling Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Tired." She shrugged.

"She's just coughing from the water Carlisle, right?" Edward asked pleadingly.

More silent conversation.

"She's been sitting in front of the fire." He protested.

"Would you two stop that!" I demanded. "I'm sure everyone here, especially Bella, would appreciate knowing what's going on."

Everyone stared at me for a moment before turning their questioning gazes back to the pair.

"Bella is sick. She has a fever, cough...probably pneumonia. It's common for humans, especially considering what she's been through. She'll be fine." Carlisle replied calmly, but the panic shone in Edward's eyes.

Bella laid her head on her knees weakly as she tried to choke back another small cough.

"So what do we do?" I asked the obvious.

"She needs as much rest as possible, liquids, all the normal things for an illness. I've got some general antibiotics I can give her. But if it gets too bad, we have to consider our alternatives. I might be able to use my credentials to get access to a clinic nearby if it comes to that. We just have to wait and see."

I was already ahead of them, my body stiffened as my mind reeled forward until I saw what I needed. Pulling back, I took a moment to compose myself. Relief flooded Edward's face.

"Three days until the fever breaks, one week until she is feeling better."

"Thank you Alice." Edward whispered. Illness was just one of the many things that scared him when it came to Bella. He lost both his parents and then his own human life to the Spanish Influenza. Of course he'd followed the advancements that medicine has made since then, and knew logically that Bella would most likely be fine, but there was still that deep rooted fear that he would lose her to something as mundane as a cold. _All the more reason for the idiot to change her._

That normally would have earned me a glare, but all I got this time was resignation and a nod. "Soon enough Alice."

"It's really ok guys, I've been sick lots of times in my life. You heard Alice, I'll be fine in a week." Bella spoke up.

"I know love, I just worry. You're already weak, and then pneumonia on top of that..." He was sitting beside her now, resting his hand on her arm.

"I'll be fine Edward. If slitting my wrists and almost drowning didn't kill me, this won't either." She replied firmly, pulling away from him.

_Talk about an uncomfortable silence...._

"Well I smell something cooking, and Bella needs to eat." Carlisle headed into the kitchen, taking Esme into his arms.

"We just have to cook the steak." The smell of the raw meat permeated the air. It didn't smell as unappetizing as other human food, probably because it was full of blood, but it didn't smell good either.

"Well if Bella's going to be a vampire, maybe she should try eating it raw." Emmett's voice boomed from the stairs.

Edward scowled. "It's dangerous for humans to eat undercooked meat Emmett." He grumbled.

"Chill out, I'm only joking. Thought the mood could use a little lightening." Rose followed him into the living room, but then went to the dining room table when Em crossed over to Bella.

"Hey Bella." Crouching down in front of her, he hugged her gently. "I hope you're feeling better soon. I'm glad you're a part of our family now, and I'm looking forward to having you as a little sister. Rose and I are going away on vacation for a while. We'll be leaving in the morning. I'll miss you, but I can't wait to see you when we get back. Take care of yourself, and don't be too hard on my brother, ok?"

"Ok, I'll miss you too Em. I'm so sorry..." She started to choke up again.

"Nothing to be sorry for squirt, ok? You just get better." He spoke softly. "How about I get you some orange juice? That's suppose to be good for you right?" He grinned.

"Sure, thanks." He playfully punched her arm and then pushed himself up and headed towards the kitchen. Everyone was staring at him because of the unusually tender moment they just witnessed.

"What?" He exclaimed. "Just because I watch TV all the time doesn't mean I don't learn anything. They have OJ commercials every five minutes during cold and flu season." Everyone just grinned and shook their heads.

He brought Bella her glass of orange juice and joined Rose at the table. She was scowling and intently studying her nails. Everyone was tired of the way she treated Bella. Her sour attitude was disrupting the family, and it was good they were leaving to give us all a little space. Their timing could have been better though. How much could you really love your family if you took off at the first sign of danger? Thankfully I knew their absence would not affect the outcome of the Volturi's visit. I hoped that being apart would give her some time to think about what family really meant, and though unlikely, maybe she would be more accepting of Bella when they came back. _Maybe I could get them to bond through shopping. _I mused.

Bella joined Rose and Em at the table when her dinner was ready. The rest of our family made their way over to the table while she ate, the Denali clan waited in the living room.

"You guys really don't have to watch me eat." Bella blushed. "This is really good though, thank you." She stuffed a bite of spinach salad in her mouth.

"It's not a problem. We want to discuss some things when you're through, and we've missed you." Carlisle spoke.

She nodded and pushed her plate away, half eaten. "I'm done."

"Bella, are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes."

"We wanted to talk about the Volturi's visit and your changing so you are prepared. We hope that we'll be able to negotiate some time, maybe a year or two, but if they require it to be immediate, we want you to be ready for it." He leaned forward on the table. "Do you have any questions?"

"What do I say to the Volturi?" She asked.

"Just answer their questions. They are interested in you being turned into a vampire, and what our plans are for that. We haven't set a date, but they will probably insist on that before they leave, so we probably should figure that out."

"Whenever." She shrugged.

"Is there anything you wanted to do first Bella, as a human?" Edward prompted.

"I guess I would have liked to finish high school, but since I had to leave Forks anyway, then I could probably just do that next time around, right?" She asked Carlisle.

"We could probably work something out if they give us time. Maybe homeschool or we could move closer to town for a little while."

"Ok." She nodded.

"Anything else?" Edward pried.

"Not that I can think of right now. It's not like there is a lot I could do as a human that I couldn't as a vampire."

"What about getting married, or having children?" Rose asked.

"Well if I'm going to have to become a vampire or be killed eventually, it's not like I could really have any of that now can I?" Bella snapped back.

Edward reached to take her hand, but stopped himself. "Do you want those things though?"

"If I ever found someone to marry, being a vampire wouldn't make a difference. You all got married as vampires, and if that ever happens, I can too. I'm not having a child only to leave them without a mother. It's not an option, so it doesn't matter Edward." He flinched at her tone.

I knew what he was thinking. He was blaming himself again. Thinking that if he had just been strong enough to stay away from her, she'd never be in this position. It didn't matter how many times he saw the vision in my head of Bella as one of us, he insisted he could change it.

"Well then, we'll see what we can negotiate and play it by ear. If you think of anything else, just let me know."

"I will Carlisle."

He took a deep breath. "Do you have any questions about being turned?"

"It's going to hurt, right?" Her lips formed a grim line.

"Beyond anything that you can imagine Bella. Though I have planned to give you a hefty dose of morphine that should help to dull it, but I can't be certain."

Jasper leaned in to join the conversation. "The transformation takes about three days. Three days of searing pain, during which you will wish you were dying Bella."

Edward growled and jumped to his feet. "That's enough Jasper!"

They faced off across the table. "She deserves to know the truth Edward. You can't protect her from everything. This is her life, this will be her pain. She should know exactly what she is choosing!"

"Jasper is right Edward. She should know." Carlisle interrupted. "Jasper has more experience than any of us with newborns, his expertise is welcome in this discussion."

"Are you scared Bella?" I asked her, gripping her hand under the table.

"Of course I am. I'd rather know everything though, so at least I can be prepared. So what will I be like as a newborn?" She turned back to Jasper.

"It's hard to say. In general newborns are wild and uncontrollable. The thirst for blood is foremost in every thought and they are driven almost by pure instinct. You won't be able to be around humans for a long time, until you are able to control your thirst. As you know, even after decades, some of us still have trouble." Jasper looked away, wracked with guilt from her last birthday.

Carlisle cut in. "But Bella, we will be there right beside you every step of the way. As wild as newborns may be, they _can_ be reasoned with, they can learn. Edward, Esme, Rose, Emmett...the evidence is right here."

"Just promise me you won't let me kill anyone, ever." She pleaded quietly.

Edward leaned into Bella and tipped her chin up. "We'll do everything we can to keep you from hurting any humans, love. We can't promise you that you will never slip-up, but we will do whatever we can to prevent it."

She pulled her face away and mumbled her thanks. Bella looked up again when she had thought of another question. "Will my eyes be like yours?"

"Not at first. They'll be red, but as long as you stick to our diet, they will eventually fade to the same butterscotch color as ours." Jasper answered her.

"How long?"

"A couple of months maybe?"

"Ok." She exhaled. "Anything else I should know?"

"There is a lot more, but most of it you will have to experience or learn after the change. It's hard to put it into terms that you would understand as a human. You know we have incredible strength and speed, and you'll have to learn to control them if you want to fit in with humans."

Emmett grinned. "Shattering doorknobs or streaking across the parking lot in front of them would be fun, but it's not a good idea."

"What about hunting?"

"Purely instinct. You'll see. Your heightened senses will locate the prey and your body knows how to react. Which is why it's important to gain control. The instinct takes over when you are thirsty or scent blood. It can be very difficult to hold yourself back from that, but you will learn."

Bella nodded weakly.

"Are you ok Bella?" Carlisle was concerned it was too much for her. She was flushed and her eyes were glassy.

"Yes, just tired."

"Well that's probably enough for now. Why don't we get you back to bed?"

Edward stood up, ready to pick her up. "I'll take her back up."

"No." Bella protested. "I can walk just fine." She made her way slowly over to the stairs.

"Bella..." Carlisle started.

"Oh right, who wants to babysit me this time?" She scowled.

Edward was still standing, and took a couple steps forward, pleading with his eyes. She shook her head at him. "Bella how are we supposed to work through this if you won't even talk to me?" He asked.

"In a matter of just a few days, I almost died, lost everything that mattered in my human life, and now I have to choose between death and becoming a vampire. The last thing on my mind is trying to reconcile with you. Right now I just want to be alone, but of course no one trusts me enough to even allow me that. So I guess one of you needs to come with me, I know you're all thrilled with this arrangement. I'm sorry for being such a bother." We all stared after her as she turned and stormed off up the stairs. _Without tripping once_. I thought proudly.

I immediately followed her, and Carmen joined me. "I'll come too." Edward just stared after her, pain etched into his stone features.

We closed the door behind us, and Bella collapsed on the bed. She didn't move for hours except to cough, but she didn't sleep either. Carlisle came to check on her twice and gave her some antibiotics and ibuprofen for the pain. Somewhere around three in the morning, Jasper and Eleazar came to join us. Jasper went over to the bed to check on her.

"Bella, do you want to sleep?" She nodded. "Do you want me to help?" Another small nod. He gently placed one cool hand on her fevered cheek, and after a moment, and a hefty dose of lethargy, she was asleep. I watched my beautiful man tenderly stroke her arm for a moment before he turned to me and we shared a small sad smile. He could feel everything Bella was going through and the past few days had been so hard for him. I stood up and he walked into my embrace, kissing the top of my head. We held each other for a little while, and I could feel the tension melting from his body now that Bella was sleeping. He pulled back to kiss me properly.

"Carlisle sent me up, knowing that she needed her rest. He's been waiting for her to fall asleep, and she wouldn't let him give her anything. Eleazar said he'd take your place, why don't we go have a little time to ourselves while she's sleeping."

"Sure...and thanks."

"You know I'll do whatever I can to help." He smiled down at me.

"Thanks Eleazar. Carmen, we'll talk more later, I can't wait to see your ideas for the kitchen. Now that Bella will be living with us, we'll actually get to use it."

We left the room and Edward was sitting against the wall next to her door. "Thanks Jasper." He whispered. We headed across the landing to the guest room we shared and laid in each other's arms.

"Alice, are things really going to be ok?" He murmured in my ear.

I nodded. "They will be eventually Jazz. It's just going to take some time."

"Did we do the right thing...saving her?"

"Honestly, I don't know. But I do know this family would never be the same because we would have lost Edward too."

"Just let me know how I can help Alice, and you know I will."

"I know Jazz. One day, you might tell her about your scars. You saw hers?"

I felt his cheek rubbing against mine in a nod. "She's in a bad place Alice. I don't know if any of us are capable of giving her the help she needs. Shouldn't she go to a therapist or something?"

"Absolutely not. How could she honestly talk about anything with another human? They would end up trying to hospitalize her, not to mention the questions that can't be answered. It wouldn't help at all because they wouldn't know the full scope of things. We'll have to help her ourselves. It will all work out, it really will. She's going to be whole and happy again."

"I trust you baby." We sat in silence for another little while before he spoke again. "Hey Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you"

"Love you too." I twisted around and gently pressed my lips to his, my hands raking through his silky hair. The kiss deepened before we both pulled away gently, neither in the mood for taking it further. We were content to lay in each other's arms until dawn.


	11. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them__._

* * *

_(EPOV)_

Waiting. The entire house was heavy with anticipation. Emmett and Rose were long gone, though she surprised us by stopping in to give Bella a silent goodbye first. I watched my sister tenderly stroke Bella's hair as she thought about this life being forced on her. As much as Rose might despise her, she was genuinely sorry that Bella wasn't going to be able to escape this cursed life. Em was consumed with guilt over leaving his family behind to deal with the Volturi, a move, and a possible newborn vampire. He was also determined to discuss all of this with his wife and try to get her to accept Bella, even if it meant he was out of her good graces for months. He knew how unfair it was to everyone for Rose to harbor these feelings.

Bella had been in and out of sleep, raging with fever and her tiny body shuddered with every cough. Carlisle had been keeping a close eye on her, but he was sure she was going to be just fine. Once her fever had gotten a little too high for his comfort, so he gave her some ibuprofen to bring it down. All the women had been taking turns caring for her, keeping her cool with their icy hands, and feeding her broth and orange juice whenever they could. Jasper would even take shifts using his gift to help her sleep or soothe her pain. Everyone, except me, was able to help her. She made it clear she didn't want me in the room. I deserved that. I kept my vigil in the hall, paying close attention to the sounds of her lungs and heart. I wanted to know the instant something sounded off so we could act. I would not lose Bella, not like this. Even if she never spoke to me again, it was enough to know she was alive.

Alice was keeping track of Marcus, and they were due to arrive this morning, in two hours. Bella was still sleeping and Alice was sitting with her. _Her fever is going down already Edward._ She noted to me, and I know she heard my sigh of relief. I heard my sister get up and come to the door, she opened it enough so that I could see Bella. _She'll be asleep for another 27 minutes and everyone else is preoccupied. _

"Thank you." I whispered. With a sad smile she returned to the bed. Bella's whole face was flushed, her hair was damp and sticking to her forehead and cheeks, but she was breathtaking. I watched her chest rise and fall with each breath, knowing that her lungs here stressed, but healing. With every fiber of my being, I had to resist going to her. My fists clenched at my sides as I continued to sit in the hall watching her, trying to avoid the thoughts of the others in the house as they fretted about the impending visit. Even Tanya was having second thoughts now that the Volturi were about to appear in her living room. She was remembering with great detail the last time they had come with her mother and the immortal child she knew nothing about. Tanya watched them both burn, and fear was bubbling up in her at the thought that she might have to watch another member of her family burn.

All too soon, Alice appeared at the door again and closed it. _Five minutes before she wakes up, she should eat before they come._

I reluctantly got up and ghosted to the kitchen. "Bella's going to wake up in a few minutes and Alice thinks she needs to eat before they get here." Esme and Irina joined me. I pulled out a can of soup and Esme handed me a pot for the stove.

Irina started putting herbs together and boiling water. When she noticed I was watching her, she stopped and smiled. "It's just a tea that might help her cough. Modern medicine may be your's and Carlisle's specialty, but I've picked up a few tried and true remedies in my thousand years as well."

"Thank you Irina." I said sincerely. The soup was heating up and Esme shooed me out of the kitchen.

"We'll take care of it Edward."

Didn't she understand? I want to do something to help. _I_ want to take care of my Bella. I had to resist the urge to put my fist through the wall. The direction of Jasper's thoughts warned me of what was coming.

"Knock it off Jasper." I growled.

"Now is not the time Edward. You need to stay calm, it's going to be a long day." He glared at me and I took off back upstairs to keep my vigil.

"Carlisle" Alice called out and he was there momentarily. He gave me a sympathetic look before heading into Bella's room.

"Bella, how are you feeling?" He asked.

"Like I got hit by a truck and took up fire eating." Her voice was weak and hoarse, but she sounded better.

"Good. Your fever is coming down and you sound better." Carlisle took an unnecessary breath. "They're going to be here in a little over an hour. Esme will bring up some soup in just a minute." Bella's pulse was pounding now. "It's going to be ok Bella. After you take a shower and get settled again, I'm going to bandage these again, and send Jasper up to try to keep you calm, ok?"

"Sure." She squeaked.

Esme came up the stairs with a tray and disappeared into the room.

"We'll talk more after you're finished." Carlisle paused at the door before they both left Bella with Alice.

_Edward, I'd like to talk to you now. Please come downstairs._ I pushed off from the wall and followed him down to the kitchen table.

"Please, sit. Jasper? Eleazar?" He gestured for them to join us. "You too ladies." He waited for everyone to take a seat.

"I just wanted to cover all the bases. We know the most likely outcome of this situation is that we will be forced to turn Bella. We don't know what kind of time line they will demand, but it may be immediate. We must be prepared for that. Driving across Canada would not be possible while she was undergoing the change, or as a newborn for that matter. It would be best for us to hole up somewhere nearby, and I know we don't feel comfortable staying in Tanya's house any longer than necessary. Esme and I have been looking at renting a hunting cabin somewhere nearby. Once we know their decision, we'll have to work fast, so I need everyone to be ready, no arguing."

_I need you to stay calm for this next part Edward._ Carlisle met my gaze with a stern look.

"We also need to be prepared for the other option. Alice's visions are always subject to change. Any decision can change the outcome." He hesitated. "It is a possibility that they will sentence Bella to die."

A feral growl ripped from my chest before I could think. Hisses and growls rumbled through the room. "They will have to go through me first."

"Yes son, me as well." He gripped my arm. "Should this be their course of action, I will personally call Aro before anything happens. However, I will defend Bella. This will have irreversible complications of course, and our family will be hunted by the Volturi should we take down Marcus or the guards. We do not ask that anyone fight with us. Should it come to this, I would ask that anyone who does not wish to fight, please leave immediately and pledge your allegiance to the Volturi. Save yourselves."

"I'm afraid our dear sister did not fully understand the implications of bringing the Volturi into our lives and what this may mean for our own family." Irina stated bitterly.

"I have no reason to suspect it will come to that, but I wanted to discuss it just in case. Everyone must decide for themselves, and we understand if anyone wants to leave now."

No one even fidgeted. "I'm afraid you're stuck with us Carlisle." Eleazar spread his arms with a grin.

"Remember, do nothing to provoke them. Everything should go smoothly, they are not looking for a fight. If they were, they would have sent someone else." Carlisle made a point of making eye contact with me and Jasper. Everyone nodded.

"Jasper, I'd like you to come upstairs with me to Bella's room." He rose from the table and embraced Esme. The tension in the air was palpable, everyone was on edge.

I followed Carlisle and Jasper upstairs like a lost puppy and took my place against the wall outside her room. I could smell strawberries and knew Bella had taken a shower. Alice and Jasper joined me against the wall as Carlisle talked to Bella more about the impending visit and bandaged her wrists again.

"Alice?" I pleaded for some assurance, the fear of Bella's death consuming me.

"Everything is going to work out Edward. It has already been decided, they have orders that Bella is not to be killed." My sister took my hand in hers and held it, showing me images of Bella as a vampire. She was going to be amazing.

~~**~~

We heard the three vampires approaching the house and everyone visibly tensed. Bella sensing the change in our demeanor started panicking. Waves of calm washed over the room, and several of us gave Jasper a grateful smile.

Carlisle was waiting by the door and opened it immediately upon hearing the sharp raps on the wood. Three figures in long dark capes filled the doorway. The one in the center had papery thin skin and long flowing black hair. The look on his face was one of absolute boredom. The two guards that flanked him were both tall, one as large as Emmett, the other more lean. Carlisle bowed slightly. "Marcus, welcome." Sweeping his arm towards the living room, inviting them in. The two guards surveyed the room warily as they seemed to glide across the floor. Everyone was standing and inclined their heads slightly. Except for Bella, she was still planted firmly on the couch, her pulse racing from fear. Even Jasper could not calm her.

"Carlisle, my old friend." His voice sighed through the room, no expression crossed his features. "It has been a while." Marcus' monotonous voice continued. "We are here on business of course." His gaze came to rest on Bella. _Hmm, she is quite unremarkable._ Even his thoughts were apathetic.

"Please, come in and have a seat." Carlisle gestured to the large recliner we had reserved for him. The two guards stood beside him as he took the offered seat.

Alice and I sat down on either side of Bella, and Jasper on the other side of Alice. Carlisle and Esme stood behind us. Kate, Irina, and Tanya took their place on the opposite couch, and Carmen sat in another chair with Eleazar standing beside her. Bella was visibly shaken and Alice and I each took one of her hands while Jasper continued to try to soothe her.

Marcus looked at Carlisle almost like he expected something. "This is my wife Esme." He introduced her. "These are four of our children Jasper, Alice, Bella, and Edward."

He stared at us for a few moments. _I see why Aro wanted me to come. The intensity of their relationship is something I have never seen before. These two are fated, to separate them would be to destroy them both. _ I had to stop myself from snorting at the assessment. We had already figured that one out. _Something has happened though, there is a lot of tension between them all. _

His unaffected gaze turned to the other couch. "Tanya." He greeted her.

"Marcus." She returned with a nod. He already knew the rest of them.

"Carlisle, it has come to our attention that your family has been keeping a human pet." His voice was indifferent as he nodded to Bella.

Carlisle anticipated my reaction. _Edward! _I swallowed a growl.

"We do not consider her a pet, Marcus. Bella is a member of our family, our son's mate." Bella began coughing as if she had choked. I gripped her hand firmly, willing her silently to play along. The three Volturi vampires stared at her oddly. "Bella has been ill with a cough." Carlisle explained quickly.

_Humans._ One of the guards sneered

Marcus turned back to Tanya. "You say they have kept a human pet, but that they left her behind? Is she not sitting here now?"

Tanya's eyes were wide as saucers and she almost stammered. "They left her. Edward left her with no intentions of going back."

"Edward, is this correct?"

"Yes, I did lead her to believe I left her, but I stayed in the area."

"Hmmm. There is more to the story is there not?"

"Yes sir."

Marcus waved languidly, urging me on.

"I intended to leave her for her own safety. I knew my family and my world were too dangerous for her, and I loved her too much to see her harmed again. Only, once I broke things off, we were both shattered. I never left the town, and kept watch over her without her knowledge. Bella did not take the breakup so well and tried to end her life. I pulled her out of the river and we saved her life. She has nowhere else to go now, and is a part of our family."

Tears were flowing silently down Bella's cheeks.

"So you will turn her?" _I really do not see what the emergency was here. It is just like my brothers to get excited over nothing. We have our own human pets._

"If that is her choice, yes."

"Do you not wish to make your mate one of us?" _Why wouldn't he?_

"It's complicated." I grimaced. "I was resistant to the idea of taking her human life, but I have realized that it should be her choice."

_How utterly fascinating. Vampires with such moral consciences. Denying their very nature, and even falling in love with a human. How can that even be possible, her blood smells so sweet even from here._

"And has Bella made that choice?"

"I believe so."

"Yes." Bella answered at the same time.

Marcus gestured again to Bella.

She cleared her throat. "I want to be turned."

He turned back to me. "You will turn her then?"

"We will." Carlisle confirmed.

_While a vacation is nice, this has been an complete waste of time._

"Tanya, dear, I do not see what the problem is. Our secret has been exposed to a human, but she is this one's mate and will be turned. There have been no laws broken, we do the same thing in Volterra."

"She _was_ his mate." Tanya answered and everyone turned on her with piercing glares.

"I assure you Tanya, they are still mates. The bond between these two is stronger than anything I have ever seen. They may be having a difficult time in their relationship right now, but I do not see any indication that they would even be able to survive apart from each other." Bella gasped and looked up at me, quickly dropping her eyes again to her lap.

"Now, there is one other matter. We have a complaint from another vampire that your family hunted down and killed her mate in defense of this human?" _Not that it really matters, Victoria is too much of a liability for us anyways._

"Yes. Victoria's mate, James, tracked Bella across the country and tortured her on video before biting her. We were able to stop him and destroy him, along with the video tape. We burned the building to hide any evidence."

_Good thinking son._ Carlisle was relieved I had brought up the video tape.

"Well then he was more of a threat to us than Bella is, it seems. He attacked your mate first, so I believe you were justified in your actions to defend her. We do not condone torturing humans Bella. I cannot believe he captured it on video, what was he thinking? " Marcus paused. "You said he bit her?"

"Yes. I sucked the venom out."

The guards gasped audibly. _Incredible_. Marcus stared at me for a moment, a hint of something flickering across his otherwise stoic face.

"How did you ever manage that?" It was the closest he sounded to being interested so far.

"It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Her blood calls to me more strongly than any human I've ever come across. My love for her is stronger than my thirst for her blood."

_La tua cantante._ _Aro will be most interested to hear about this. She is his singer and he has kept her human, even tasting her blood!_

"Why did you not let the change happen?"

Bella snorted, quickly blushing and covering her mouth.

"Bella?" Marcus inquired.

"I asked him the same thing." She sighed.

"Edward?"

"It wasn't the right time. I did not want her to be turned at that point."

"But she will be turned, correct?"

"Yes. I guarantee it." Carlisle spoke up. "Bella's human life has already ended, she has been declared dead. She is our family now, and will be one of us."

"Have you made plans for when this will happen? I imagine my brothers would insist this happen immediately. She has already lived so long knowing our secret, they would not be comfortable leaving the timing so uncertain."

Carlisle addressed Marcus. "Bella needs some time to heal. She has been through too much in the past week, and is now suffering through pneumonia. We would appreciate some leeway in order to bring her back to optimum health, physically and mentally. Perhaps two years at the most?"

"Hmmm. I would think her current frailty would make you want to turn her sooner. Her injuries and illness would be healed by the venom."

"Yes, but she is so weak at the moment, I fear she might not be strong enough to survive the change. She has suffered severe blood loss, near hypothermia, and the pneumonia has weakened her heart and lungs. I feel it is in her best interest to recover psychologically as well. We all know how the mind changes during the transformation, and we wish for Bella to be in a better place before making those changes."

"I will speak to my brothers, and let you know of our verdict. As far as I am concerned, these matters are closed. James' death was of no consequence to us, if anything you did us a favor. You have assured me that she will be turned, we just need to figure out a reasonable amount of time." He rose from his seat and the two guards followed him out of the house. "I will be back momentarily."

As the door closed a sense of relief passed through the house. Bella had calmed down a little, and Alice reassured us that everything was going according to plan. She was watching for the other brothers' decision. Everyone's eyes were trained on her, and when she finally relaxed and smiled, I saw in her mind that they would give us a year.

Bella jumped as the door opened and the three Volturi vampires entered the room.

"We have decided that one year is a reasonable amount of time to give before Bella must be turned. If she is not turned by then, we will take it upon ourselves to deal with the situation, and we certainly do not want to resort to that. It would be such a waste."

"Thank you Marcus, and please let your brothers know how appreciative we are." Carlisle spoke.

Marcus waved his hand dismissively and turned towards Tanya. "Tanya, my brothers are most disappointed to learn that there was clearly no threat here. We have wasted both time and resources to come all this way. They ask that you consider this next time you think about making a complaint. Our reaction may not be so favorable, and you have your sisters to think about as well."

He turned back to me. "Edward, I almost forgot. Aro requires that you be the one to turn our dear Bella. He finds it a most appropriate punishment for considering leaving a human behind who knows the truth about our kind." I flinched at the thought of tempting myself with her sweet blood again. "My dear boy, do not fret. You have done this before and resisted, and you will be able to resist again. Have faith. What you two have is irrevocable."

And just like that Bella's life had been decided. In one year, I would kill her. In twelve months she would be gifted with immortality. She had one year to live, and I planned to make every moment count.

The tension in the air had dissipated and there were a few relieved sighs. Carlisle and I shared a pensive silence. Bella calmly stood up and turned to me, taking my hand, and pulled me up the stairs to her room. I'm sure the shocked look on my face gave my family quite a few chuckles. I was just happy to have her tiny hand in mine for the moment, and an eternity to make everything up to her.


	12. Chapter 12

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, I just like playing with them__._

* * *

_(EPOV)_

Bella let go of my hand after we entered her bedroom. I closed the door and leaned up against it as she sat on the bed, deep in thought. As much as I wanted to rush to her side, I knew I had to keep my distance until she asked me for more.

She turned her face towards me, her wide chocolate brown eyes flickering over my face. Eyes that were so full of emotion, I couldn't distinguish one from the next. Finally she took a deep breath and her lips parted to speak.

"Edward, I need to say a few things, and I don't want you to interrupt me. Can you just listen?" I nodded.

"Marcus is right. Regardless of everything that has happened, I love you. I always will. You saw what your leaving did to me. Even now, I physically ache when you're not next to me. It's like a giant hole opens up in my chest as soon as you leave the room. Being near you is the only thing that eases the pain I feel, but I can't give you anything right now. I just need you to be by my side."

_She loves me. _If it were possible I would have sworn my heart began beating when I heard those words cross her lips. Of course I would be here for her, I would never leave her side if it were my choice.

Bella dropped her head and chewed on her lip for a moment before continuing.

"I'm not the same Bella you left behind in the forest. I have absolutely nothing to offer you right now. I'm so lost Edward, and I don't know how I'm ever going to find my way back. All I can do is take it one hour at a time. I know it's selfish of me to ask, but it's about what I need right now. I need you to not have any expectations of me. I'm in no place to even think about _us_...but I still need you. I don't even know if this is making any sense..."

She covered her face with her hands. When she didn't look back up, I crossed the room and gently tipped her face up until I could look into her eyes.

"I understand Bella. After everything I've put you through...I don't expect anything from you. Everything that has happened to you is my fault, and I would understand if you never wanted to speak to me again. I'm here, and I always will be. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask me for it. I want to be there for you. I'm willing to do whatever you need, even if you want me to stay away, as much as it pains me, I will. All you have to do is ask, love."

Bella gulped and nodded. She let out a forced empty laugh. "For once you are right Edward Cullen. It is your fault."

"I know." I whispered before wrapping my arms around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head, breathing her scent in deeply.

Her soft voice invaded the silence. "Will you stay with me while I sleep?"

"Of course Bella." She took a deep breath and got up, picking out some clothes and heading to the bathroom for her human moment.

I hesitated, not knowing if she'd want me to lay with her on the bed or just to sit across the room. Any time she'd asked me in the past, she wanted me in the bed. I decided to wait in the chair and not assume too much. When she came back out she slid into the bed and looked at me expectantly, patting the bed beside her. I leapt up and tucked her in, before laying down beside her, making sure the covers were between us in order to keep her warm. Bella scooted backwards until her back was pressed against my side, my presence giving her the comfort she needed. In her exhausted state, she fell asleep quickly and I smiled as I listened to her even breaths and heartbeat. If I closed my eyes, I could almost believe we were back in her bedroom in Forks, before things went so horribly wrong. It wasn't long before Bella turned over in her sleep, her head finding my chest while her arm wrapped around my waist. She sighed softly as she nestled in close to me and spoke those same words that changed me so entirely all those months ago.

"Edward" She mumbled softly. "Stay. Don't go. Please...don't go."

I gently caressed her soft, flushed cheek with my fingers and pulled her in a little closer. "Never again, love. I will never leave you again." I promised.

* * *

**A/N: It's a short one, but more to come soon. It was just at a natural ending point. Thanks for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

_(EPOV)_

"An island!? You have got to be kidding me." Bella shrieked as Carlisle steered the boat to the dock.

The rest of the family shared amused looks and chuckles as she stared incredulously at the snow-covered land rising out of the ocean.

"We said we owned some land Bella. This is our land. It's no different than owning ten acres anywhere else, except this is surrounded by water." I explained.

"A freaking island." She muttered, shaking her head.

A few days after the Volturi visit, we took a flight out of Anchorage, Alaska to St. Anthony, Newfoundland. From there we drove to the coast and took our boat out to an island Carlisle owned from before he found me. Carlisle and Esme sometimes vacationed there, but I had never visited before. Our belongings would be freighted in, along with our cars, which would be stored in a garage on the mainland of Labrador. We would have no need for our cars on the island, and would take our boat to the main island of Newfoundland for anything we might need. The only drawback was that there was nothing to hunt on our island, but a quick trip to either the main island or Labrador would give us plenty to choose from. Bella was bundled up and we all tried to make sure she was well shielded from the spray of the frigid water on the way over. Once we were on the island, we would be crowded in the cabin until spring when we could begin building the new house. Eleazar and Carmen decided to take their time and explore along the way through Canada before joining us here.

Someone had been out to clear off the dock and a path to the house. The cabin was on the east side of the island, overlooking the water, but far enough back into the trees to allow privacy from anyone who happened to travel past. The new house was going to be built on the west side of the island so we could watch the sunset over the water. Carlisle's cabin was something straight out of the pioneer days. It was the quintessential log cabin that used to dot the prairies of America. The wood was dulled with age, but I knew it had been cared for through the years. It had a huge front porch that was as wide as the house and a sloped roof. A stone chimney on the side marked the presence of a fireplace. I hesitantly let go of Bella as her eyes widened with interest, taking in every detail of the outside. She walked forward to the steps and caressed the wooden rails lightly, eventually stopping to look out over the land and ocean that made up the view. Carlisle headed to the door and unlocked it, barely inside before I heard him curse.

"Alice!" The little pixie gave Esme a sheepish smile and they followed Carlisle into the house. Bella turned to follow, with me right behind her. She rolled her eyes and laughed when she saw the many stacks of packages that lined the walls in the living room.

"What? Bella needed some things." She shrugged.

"We don't have that much room her Alice, you're going to have to hold off on any more shopping sprees until we get the new house built." Carlisle explained.

Alice quickly traipsed through the cabin, scrunching her nose with distaste. _Needs work. A lot of work._ _This is definitely all Carlisle._

"I like it." Bella said softly. "I always dreamed about living in a log cabin. It's so simple and cozy." She walked through the small space, taking in the details.

The front door opened into the living room which held the fireplace on the right and two large couches filled the center of the room. There was a small kitchen space in the back right corner that held a table for six. The kitchen literally consisted of one counter with cabinets below it, a sink in the middle, and a stove and small refrigerator on either end. There were a few cabinets above it for storage. There were three doorways on the left, two led to small bedrooms, and the one in the middle held the bathroom, with a washer and dryer in the closet. There was a crude staircase, really more of a ladder, that led up to a loft area over the bedrooms, this would act as a third bedroom. The furnishings were simple and there was little decor. This was a vacation cabin in the woods and no one had spent much time here since Carlisle lived here more than a century ago.

Alice huffed and sat herself down amidst her packages which would keep her entertained for a little while. Jasper took stock of the fireplace and quickly noted that Bella would be freezing here, so he headed outside to collect some firewood.

"Bella, I think the loft is going to be the warmest bed in the house, so you might want to take that room." Esme suggested.

I took one look at the sad excuse for stairs, not even a handrail. "I'm not sure that would be a good idea Esme." I looked pointedly at the ladder and Bella.

Carlisle held back a chuckle. "You're probably right son."

Bella scowled at the exchange. "Oh poor, clumsy Bella, can't even climb a ladder now?"

"You know we're only looking out for your safety, love. What if you need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night?"

She sighed heavily. "I guess you're right. One of the other bedrooms is fine, I don't like to be hot when I sleep anyway. I always left the window open..." She clenched her jaw shut, and suddenly became interested in the fireplace mantle. I quickly moved to wrap her in my embrace and she stiffened. Bella was even harder than usual to read these days. Sometimes she wanted me to hold her, other times she didn't want me anywhere near her, but I couldn't figure out any rhyme or reason as to which reaction she expected from me in any given situation. It was frustrating to say the least. I loosened my hold and saw Esme's look of pity. I just shrugged and move to take her bags to one of the bedrooms.

Alice headed to Bella's room as I was coming out, her arms full of clothes she had just freed from their packaging. Not two seconds later there was a scream followed by a roar that startled everyone. Alice came charging out of the bedroom and went into the other one, emitting another frustrating growl, before leaping up to the loft. In a flash she was out of the house and we heard the unmistakable sound of a tree cracking and splintering. We all tried to put a cap on the laughter that threatened to bubble up. We didn't need words to know what her problem was.

Closets. Or more specifically, the lack of closet space. There were three closets in the house, and each one was only about two feet deep and four feet wide. To ask Alice to make due with such limited space was truly an imposition on her lifestyle. After all, there were six people in this house who needed full wardrobes. Bella shook her head and went to her room to lay down, she didn't spend much time with the family yet, preferring to read or write in a journal Alice had given her.

A few moments later, Alice waltzed back into the house, with a sickeningly sweet smile on her face. I groaned when I saw what she was planning in her mind, and she had already roped Jasper into the plan on her way back to the house. It appeared that our first project for this little cabin would be to expand the bedrooms in order to add on closets big enough to hold our wardrobes.

"Carlisle, I need to go to the main island for some supplies. We'll be making some renovations." She explained smugly.

"Alice, is this really necessary? Surely we have enough space between the closets and dressers for our clothes. I realize it may not be what you are used to, but there's nothing wrong with 'roughing it' for a little while. Esme has already given you free reign on the closet designs in the new house."

"It will be months before we're able to move into the new house. We really can't go that long without a proper wardrobe. Don't worry, Jazz and I will do all the work." Alice wrapped her arms around Jasper's waist, after he deposited a load of wood by the fireplace. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. _Any chance you'll help get me out of this?_ He thought in my direction.

I answered with a chuckle. "You're on your own there stud."

"Alice, dear, why don't we all go to the main island tomorrow. We'll get settled today and figure out what we need, then we can get it all at once. They stocked a few things for Bella to eat, but we need to do grocery shopping as well." Esme asked reasonably. "I'm sure Bella would like to go out too, she's been cooped up inside for a long time."

Alice stiffened for a moment before squealing. "That's a great idea Esme!"

"Alice!" I warned. "I doubt Bella is in any mood to participate in one of your usual shopping marathons."

"How about not talking about me like I'm not here." Bella's quiet voice came from the doorway to her bedroom. "I wouldn't mind getting out of the house, but I'm really not up for a shopping marathon or trying on clothes. Sorry Alice. But I love the clothes you just dropped off in my room. Thank you for thinking of my comfort over style." She gave her friend a small smile and a hug.

Alice returned the smile. "You're welcome Bella, I'm not completely evil."

~~**~~

"Come on Bella, you need some new bedding. Something pretty." Alice pulled an unwilling Bella into the third store of the day.

The small town had plenty of shopping, though not of the caliber Alice was used to. Everything was covered in snow, and one of us kept a hold on Bella at all times so she didn't slip. Alice had already purchased more clothes for everyone, including a week's supply of cashmere sweaters and thick wool socks to help keep Bella warm. Esme and Alice's eyes lit up when we entered the household goods store and quickly got lost picking out curtains and bedding along with completely unnecessary decorations.

Carlisle, Jasper, and I were going to head over to the hardware store in order to buy the building supplies Alice wanted. We would have them delivered to the boat and take them over to the island before coming back to pick up the girls. They still had to go grocery shopping for Bella.

"This list is a mile long." Carlisle groaned as we entered the hardware store and decided on a plan of attack.

"Did you expect anything less from our dear pixie?" I scoffed. "And don't think Esme didn't add to it...Dad." I teased.

"We'll just split it up and meet back at the front. Divide and conquer. They'll have to deliver it all to the dock. Edward you take the tools, I'll take the lumber, and Carlisle you get everything else." Jasper barked out the orders.

We each took our own flatbed cart and went our separate ways. Thirty minutes later we had checked out and made arrangements for the delivery, so we headed to wait at our boat for them. On our way, Carlisle's phone buzzed and I heard Alice mentally calling for us.

"Bella!" I exclaimed and we all took off at a run.

We found them sitting on bench outside of a store surrounded by bags. Bella was paler than usual, and beads of sweat had broken out all over her face. She groaned and rested her head on Alice's shoulder.

"What happened?" I demanded.

_Calm down Edward, she'll be fine. We just overdid it today. _Alice pouted guiltily. _I'm sorry._

"She's not feeling well, I think we just overdid it today." Esme explained.

Carlisle had made a quick assessment and nodded. "She'll be fine. She just needs to eat and rest. Edward, take her back to the boat, I'll come with you just to make sure she's ok. Jasper you stay here with Alice and Esme and finish the shopping. I'll be back to pick you up."

I lifted Bella into my arms and followed Carlisle back to the dock.

"Edward, I can walk." She feebly protested.

"I know, love, I just like having you in my arms again." I whispered to her, earning me a scowl and a roll of her eyes, but after a little while she sighed and laid her head against my chest with a smile.

"You really must not feel good if you aren't going to put up more of a fight." I chuckled.

She looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes. "It's just...well...you were honest."

"What is that supposed to mean?" My heart sank.

"I don't know Edward...let's talk when we get home."

I merely nodded, not trusting my words, knowing I could easily push her away by saying the wrong thing. She wanted to talk, and that was a start.

We had reached the dock and there was a truck waiting for us. Carlisle showed them our boat and we got it loaded up. I placed Bella in one of the seats and stood behind her protectively as Carlisle took the helm. It wasn't long before we made it to our island.

"I've got it Edward, go take care of Bella." He gave me a knowing smile and I sprinted up to the house with her. _Fix her something to eat first._ His thoughts raced after me.

I gently laid her down on the couch and started a fire quickly. There was a little more color in her cheeks too. I ransacked the kitchen trying to find something easy for her to eat, that ended up being a plate of fruit and cheese, and then I found some crackers. Bella had taken off all of her outerwear and she took the food from me with a grateful smile. She didn't talk much these days, but so many emotions swirled in her eyes. I was getting better at reading them, and Jasper helped when he was around. Maybe it was cheating, but I'd relied on my gift for so long, that I needed any assistance I could get in trying to figure out how to read her. She was in such a fragile emotional state that I didn't want to risk saying or doing the wrong thing which would then set her off. A simple mental note from Jasper when he saw me studying her helped me start to understand the different flickers of emotions that passed over her beautiful face. I had misread her so many times in the past, and I had to make things better, fight for her, give _us_ a chance. I joined her on the couch with a glass of orange juice as she ate.

"This is really good. Nice and fresh." She complimented between bites.

"Esme had them stock the fridge before we arrived. Did you want anything else?"

"No, thank you."

We sat in silence while she finished eating. I took her dishes to the kitchen and had them washed and put away almost instantly, before joining her on the couch again. "Esme was thinking about getting a dishwasher, but we convinced her it was faster if we just washed them ourselves." I chuckled, hopefully keeping the mood light.

The corners of her mouth twitched, almost laughing. I missed the sound of her laugh, a real laugh, not the sarcasm laden scoffs she'd let out since she had been with us again.

Our eyes searched each other in silence, before she dropped them to the hands in her lap.

I decided to take the plunge. "So what did you mean when you said I was honest?"

She closed her eyes and swallowed. "It's just that you told me you were carrying me because you wanted to hold me in your arms. Any time you had carried me before, I always felt like a burden...that you were doing it because I was too slow, too weak, too human. It was...nice...to hear you say that you just wanted to hold me. I felt...wanted."

_How could she think that!_ "Bella, I never meant to make you to feel like a burden. Oh love, it was all I could ever do to stop touching you. I have always and will always want you." I tentatively reached out to lift her face so I could see her. "Please don't hide your beautiful face from me. Look at me. You have never been a burden to me, to any of us. I love you, and everything I do is because I love you."

She nodded, but I wasn't sure she fully understood the depth of what I feel for her. Bella had always been insecure, pointing out my perfections, comparing herself to our kind in every way. She always felt unworthy, no matter how I tried to convince her she was not. Other members of my family tried to do the same. Jasper told me how often he felt these kinds of feelings surrounding her. Could she not understand how it was I that was unworthy of her? She was a beautiful, kind, selfless, loving woman, and I was a monster. I knew the things I said to her that day in the forest would be what she needed to hear in order to let me go, but I never thought she would believe them. Instead she embraced them because she always felt she wasn't good enough for me, and my words only entrenched that feeling deeper into her psyche. I confirmed her deepest doubts in our relationship. I would have to do everything I could to show her that she was most certainly worthy of my love, but she would have to work on her own self-confidence. Bella had to learn to love herself, before she could feel completely comfortable in our relationship. I had my own part in this. Had I ever known my actions were interpreted like that by her, then I would have made my intentions clearer. I thought she would have known how much I utterly craved to be with her, touching her, every single moment of every single day. I took that for granted, and I did not show her that my love was the motivation behind the things I did. That would have to change. She would have to learn that she was the center of my universe. A plan formulated in my head and I would speak to the rest of my family when Bella was sleeping. Carlisle and Jasper would be best at helping with the fundamentals, and I knew I could count on the rest of them for the details.

Bella still had not replied to my declaration.

"Bella, you do understand that don't you? That everything I have ever done was only because I love you. I wanted to protect you, keep you safe, love you endlessly. Please tell me you understand that." I pleaded with her.

"I guess...I know that now because you've told me...but in the past I wasn't always sure. I often felt like I was a child without a voice of my own. Everyone seemed to make all the decisions for me, especially you. I knew I was breakable, slower, clumsy...and it just seemed like that was constantly being pummeled into my brain whenever I was around you. Your concern for my safety outshone your love for me...if that makes any sense?"

"I can see now how you would have thought that. Everything I did must have seemed so overbearing...I'm so sorry..."

"Don't apologize Edward. Words are easily spoken...you have to show me that you love me, the clumsy human, and not that you've taken on the burden of safeguarding my fragile life. What hurt me the most was the fact that you didn't want to change me." She whispered the last part. "To know that you didn't want me for eternity, that you were denying me the one thing I wanted most...to be with you, and only you, forever. To be equal to you so you didn't have to fight the call of my blood, so you could kiss me properly and show me you desired me as a man desires a woman, so that I could stand beside you instead of always behind you being protected. It's all I ever wanted, and you didn't love me enough to make it happen. You didn't want me as much as I wanted you. To know that I was nothing more than a silly distraction in your endless existence..."

"No Bella, No! That is not why. I know I've told you this countless times, but I did not want to damn you to this life. We are monsters, unnatural beings that should never exist. Of course I wanted you beside me for eternity, but I knew how much you would be giving up, and I couldn't ask that of you." She started to cut in, and I knew what she was going to say. "But I understand now, love. It should have been your choice all along. It was not my choice to make for you. I should have trusted that you understood all that you would be giving up and what you would become...I should have trusted that you could have made your own decisions. I was wrong Bella. I was so horribly wrong to deny you that choice...to know now that you felt that it was because I didn't want you...you have to know that's not true Bella. I'm a very selfish creature, I want you beside me always. I just didn't want you to regret this immortal life. Rose has wallowed in her grief over losing her humanity since she was changed. Esme too mourns the loss of unborn children. I didn't want you to go through that. I was so wrong to have ignored your wishes, can you ever forgive me?"

"I think that if we keep talking like this, then yes I will be able to forgive you. You have to stop making my decisions for me, I need you to ask me what I want, to listen to my opinion, my concerns, and to take those into account. You have to talk to me too Edward, you can't keep secrets from me anymore, even if you think it would hurt me or scare me to know the truth, you have to tell me. I need you to be honest with me, tell me what you're thinking, what you want, what is going on. You are so used to just picking things out of people's minds, I think you forget the rest of us can't do the same. You are always so guarded about what you are really thinking. That just makes me feel like you don't trust me or that you think I can't handle things. I think by now I've proven I can handle this life, that it is what I want. You always tell me that I just don't understand, but you need to know that I do. You have to accept that I'm pretty damn smart and I'm not going to run screaming from you. I had my chance after that night in Port Angeles, and I told you it doesn't matter what you are. If you were human, vampire, werewolf, whatever...it doesn't matter...I love _you_ Edward, and that is all that matters." She slipped her small warm hands into mine.

"I think I understand that now. And I promise I will stop making decisions for you. We'll work on our communication, I won't hide things from you any longer."

"I also can't promise that I won't ever be sad about the things I've had to give up. But even humans make sacrifices and mistakes that can't be undone. It is possible to mourn what could have been while still enjoying what I do have. There are no guarantees I would be happy if I stayed human Edward, a million things could go wrong. I could die young in a car crash or from cancer, and if you think a few miserable human years are worth giving up an eternity of happiness with you, then you really are masochistic. It's possible I would have never found love again, or I could end up with someone who was abusive, or someone who left me for another woman. What if I ended up never having children, maybe I wouldn't be able to get pregnant? I could have ended up a lonely old woman. Why would I want to risk an unknown future like that when I had everything right in front of me – a beautiful man who loved me, a wonderful family to spend time with, not to mention endless time to spend with those I love. Tell me Edward, why would I want to give any of that up?"

"But what about Charlie and Renee? Your friends?"

"It's too late to wonder what if...I'm already dead to them. I can't change what happened, I can only accept the consequences. They will mourn, no parent should have to bury their child." Tears slipped down her cheeks. "But life goes on, and they will heal. They'll always miss me, but they'll remember the time they had with me..."

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my chest, gently stroking her hair. Bella would be mourning the loss of her parents as much as they were mourning her. However, they didn't have another daughter to help ease the ache, and Bella had us. It would never be the same, but it would be something.

Bella took a deep shuddering breath. "I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what I've put them through." She whispered. "Can you imagine how heartbroken Charlie was when he found...I can't believe I hurt him like that."

It was just like Bella to think of others before herself. "Shh. He will always love you Bella, you will always be his little girl. Charlie may not understand why you did what you did, but I do know he blames me for it, not you."

She abruptly pushed herself away from me and stood up. "I'm sorry Edward, I just can't talk about this yet." Bella went to her room and shut the door. I heard her crying softly on the bed, hurting for Charlie and Renee.

My family also chose that time to enter the house. They had returned a little while ago, but wanted to give us some space since we were finally talking. I felt Esme's arms slip around my chest from behind as she kissed the top of my head. _It's progress my son, she's healing. Bella loves you._ I nodded slightly. I knew we made a lot of progress today. Bella had so much to deal with, and I just wanted to take all the pain and guilt away from her.

_She's feeling better?_ Carlisle asked, his head craned slightly towards her door listening intently to her vitals. I nodded again.

"Alice, give her some time, please?" I asked my sister softly as I heard her deciding to go bombard Bella with all the new purchases.

_Sure._ Came her short reply.

Alice and Esme started putting away the groceries, and Jasper started unpacking all kinds of electronics.

Carlisle chuckled. "I guess we're bringing the cabin up to the twenty-first century?"

Jasper shrugged. "Well if we're going to be here until spring, I figure we'd all be happier with more entertainment options."

The three of us unpacked various satellite components for the television and internet. There was already a flat screen on the wall, but we only had a DVD player for it since we couldn't exactly get cable out here on the island. I was put to task setting up three new laptops, one was just for Bella. He had also gotten the iPod I asked for since there was no room for a piano here. I wanted to download my playlist to it for Bella, especially her lullaby. She would also need the laptop in order to finish up high school. It would be too much to travel back and forth to the main island by boat every day, so we thought she might do some kind of correspondence online in order to get her diploma while she was still human. We could worry about college later when she was more settled in her new life. There was also another small flat screen and DVD player for Bella's room which we would set up later. Jasper and Carlisle installed the satellites and hooked up all the cables. The last thing he pulled out was a Wii with all the trimmings and plenty of games to choose from. You could feel the excitement in the air, we were men after all.

Alice was the first to claim a laptop and test out the connection, shopping of course. Which reminded me I wanted to thank her for being so considerate about Bella's wardrobe. She filled Bella's drawers with soft and warm yoga pants, tanks, tees, sweatpants, and hoodies instead of the usual jeans and designer outfits. Such a small thing, but it meant so much to Bella to have comfortable clothes. She did amend her wardrobe a little today with some nicer pieces, but the week's worth of cashmere sweaters were practical and comfortable as well as being stylish. I would look into the usual Paris fashion shows and get her tickets for a little vacation with Jasper. Maybe that would be something Bella would want to do, I'd have to wait and see, but I'd love to take her to Paris this summer...maybe even a small European tour would be possible. I was excited just thinking about it. What better way for her to spend her last human summer.

In the late afternoon Bella decided to come out of her room. She tripped over the piles of purchases Alice had left by her door, but then slipped wordlessly into the bathroom for a quick shower. After she was dressed, she joined us on the couch and steeled herself for Alice's onslaught. Jasper slipped into Bella's room to set up all the technology, while Alice started pulling out everything to show her. She had purchased purple bedding since that was what she had in Forks. Soft and warm flannel sheets and a fluffy down comforter, along with new pillows. They, of course, bought all the accessories to match such as curtains and a rug, and a smattering of small things that were really unnecessary. Alice pulled out another bag full of books and a couple more journals for Bella, knowing she loved to read and hadn't brought any books with her. The cabin didn't have a library and our books were in storage until we finished the new house. They had also purchased new pillows and chenille throws for the living room, wanting to make sure Bella was always comfortable and warm. Bella was looking through her books, and pulled out a couple cookbooks raising her eyebrows at Alice.

"What? Esme wanted to learn to cook for you."

"That's really sweet, but I can cook for myself, you don't have to learn just for me. It's not like I'm going to be eating food for much longer." She replied, with an appreciative smile.

"Nonsense dear, I'm going to have plenty of time on my hands and it would be nice to learn something new and useful." Esme flitted into the living room and made off with the cookbooks.

"She is really looking forward to it." I whispered reassurance to Bella, who hated the thought of anyone doing anything for her.

Esme was a mother figure to us all, and it was her greatest pleasure to take care of us in any way she could. She would love cooking for Bella, and Carlisle was quite adamant that Bella needed a nutritious diet in order to bring her up to a healthy weight and had already formulated balanced meal guides for Esme to follow. Ever the doctor, he was concerned with the whole picture and wanted his newest daughter as healthy as possible while she was still human. He even had purchased a stash of exercise dvds for Bella since she would be cooped up in the cabin for the most of the winter. Since he wasn't working at the moment, Bella was his one and only patient and he was wholly dedicated to her. I idly wondered how he would spend all this free time, as it had been decades since he'd taken any kind of extended leave. He worked more hours than the humans ever could without succumbing to exhaustion, giving as much time as he could to help others.

Bella and Alice carried off the new items to her room and it didn't take long before we heard Bella gasp. "What is all of this Alice?"

"Well you see Bella, this is called a laptop, and this is a television, it makes pretty pictures..." Alice joked.

Bella nearly growled. "I know that Alice." She spat. "Why is my room decked out in the latest technology?"

_I'll handle this._ Carlisle joined them in Bella's room and Alice left closing the door.

_Why can't she just say thank you and accept this stuff. Everything has to be a fight. We only buy things for her because we love her. It's not like we could ever spend all the money we already have, and it just multiplies even more through the years. Maybe I should show her the actual total of my account alone and she'd stop making these silly protests...._ Alice was fuming.

"Bella, why are you upset?" Carlisle's calm voice floated out to us.

"You know why." She replied sullenly. As much of a fight as she could put up against me or Alice, her respect for Esme and Carlisle tamed her fury.

"Bella, are you a member of this family now?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Then it is our job to provide for our family, correct?"

"I guess."

"Did your parents buy you things you needed?"

"Yes."

"Then shouldn't we now buy the things you need?"

"I guess."

Carlisle's reasoning would win her over.

"Well then, considering it is freezing cold outside with drifts of snow piled everywhere, you'll be stuck inside this cabin more often than not. Add that we are on a private island far away from any kind of entertainment, doesn't it seem appropriate that we have our own means of entertainment? You've always enjoyed music, and since we don't have a stereo here, the iPod will provide hours of listening pleasure. You have your own television so you can watch movies or TV. The laptop is a necessity, if you want to get your diploma, you will need to take some online courses." He explained. "I know you like to read, and Alice has purchased a good amount of books for you to start with, as well as journals since she tells me that the writing you've been doing has been helping, right?" She must have nodded. "So you see, these are all necessities. Why don't we get all this uncomfortable business out of the way at once. You are now a member of this family, what is ours is yours." The rustle of his pants and the faint creak of leather told us he was pulling out his wallet. Alice and I exchanged looks and waited for Bella to start yelling, but it never came.

"What is this?" Her quiet voice asked.

"It's your ATM and credit cards. We have other stocks and accounts set up in your name as well, I'd be happy to go over them with you sometime if you'd like. Each month the interest from your savings account is transferred to your checking account, which is the account the ATM card is linked to. There should be plenty in there for whatever you may need, however this is an American Express card and there is no limit. Also, when you use it your flights will automatically be upgraded to first class, along with several other amenities. I'll give you the brochure that explains it all, or Alice could tell you."

The whole house could hear Bella's heart racing. Jasper winced, obviously from the emotions flying from her. _She's pissed and overwhelmed._ He let me know.

"Carlisle." I warned.

_It's better if we just get this out of the way Edward, she'll be fine and you know she'll accept this better from me than from anyone else._

"Bella, I understand that us spending money on your makes you uncomfortable. I understand that you don't feel entitled to the money in the accounts I've just given you access too. However, you have to understand that we have more money than we could ever spend. We've had many lifetimes to amass this fortune, and with Alice's talent of predicting stock market trends, and our collective knowledge of investing, we could fund several small countries on the interest alone. We give an awful lot to charity as well, I'd be happy to go over all of that with you too. If you are going to be a part of this family, you are going to have to accept that this comes with it. If you want or need anything, please do not hesitate to buy it, because if you don't buy it for yourself, one of us will buy it for you. Go online, order whatever books you want to build your own library. If you don't want Alice to do your shopping, then do it yourself." Alice's growl was audible to the whole house. Carlisle chuckled. "Though I guarantee you she's still going to shop for you anyway. It's what she does, she shops for everyone, it makes her happy. You are such a giving person Bella, and you have to understand that we are too. It makes us happy to do things for each other. It's a part of being a family. I don't want to hear any objections from now on. You are a part of this family, and there's nothing wrong with letting us spoil you a little. You have brought so much happiness into our lives Bella, and you have been through so much. We love you." He finished his big speech and Bella's sobs could be heard again. I saw through his eyes that she was curled into his chest, and he was soothing her as only a father's arms could.


	14. Chapter 14

_(EPOV)_

The next day we had a family meeting. Carlisle wanted to put together a plan for Bella's mental health since we couldn't exactly send her to a professional. I knew it would make her uncomfortable, but she needed to know we were here for her. It's not like we could just forget any of this ever happened and live happily ever after, as much as I would like to.

Bella looked a deer caught in the headlights when the family converged on her in the living room. She let out a nervous chuckle. "Why do I have the feeling you all want to talk about something I'm not going to like?"

"Because we are?" Alice flopped on the couch next to her and took her hand. I sat on her other side. Carlisle, Jasper, and Esme took the couch across from us. Bella started playing with the ends of her hair nervously.

Alice started by sliding Bella's sleeve up her arm, turning her arm over so the parallel lines of smaller cuts were visible. "First things first Bella. You have to promise me...this...is going to stop. And you know I'll know if you don't mean it." She tapped her head, and then wrinkled her nose. "It wouldn't be the best idea to tempt a house full of vampires with fresh blood."

She blushed crimson and ducked her head. "I know...I won't, I promise."

"Bella..." Alice put her arm around Bella and laid her head on her shoulder. "If we could undo these past three months, you know we would."

"So I guess this is like some kind of intervention or therapy, huh?" She asked.

Carlisle chuckled and leaned forward in doctor mode. "We just want to make sure you are alright. What you went through was very traumatic, and unfortunately, there isn't a therapist out there that you could really talk to about this whole situation. We want you to know that we are here for you. If you'd rather talk to just one of us, we can arrange it, but honestly we would all hear whatever was said anyway, or Edward would read it in our thoughts, or Alice would see it. So, we felt it was more honest if we were all present. Our family doesn't really have secrets."

She nodded, refusing to look up. "It's embarrassing."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about Bella. No matter what, we'll still love you, we just want to understand." I took her other hand in mine.

After a deep breath she started hesitantly. "I thought if I hurt myself, you would come back. That Alice would have a vision, and you would come back to stop me." Pain stabbed me right in the chest. I had done this to her. If I hadn't forced Alice not to look, she _would_ have seen and I would have gone back sooner. It never would have come to this point, I would not have let it.

"I eventually realized, you weren't going to come back, but it gave me a little bit of relief, so I kept doing it." No matter how safe I tried to keep her, she still managed to get hurt, whether it was from rogue vampires, or the emotional anguish I caused. _Edward, let up on her hand, you're going to hurt her. _Alice warned me in her thoughts. I immediately let go of Bella's hand. She wiped away the tears that had started to fall and let out a huff. "After the first couple times, I didn't even get dizzy."

"Of course when I realized that you weren't coming back, that Alice wasn't _seeing_ me, I didn't know what to do. I wasn't ever going to see you, any of you, again. I guess it sounds ridiculous, but I just couldn't function, it was like a part of me died. I was useless to anyone else, Charlie didn't know what to do with me, Renee was beside herself with worry, they talked about forcing me into a hospital. I sat through three days of therapy, never speaking a word before Charlie decided it was a waste. It's not like I could really talk to anyone about what happened. I tried, for Charlie, I really tried, but I knew it wasn't going to get any better. I just didn't care anymore."

"One day I just realized how much pain I was causing my family, and I couldn't stand it any longer. I had lost everything...Charlie just watched me with this look on his face. I couldn't take it. I wasn't good enough...I was hurting the people who loved me..." She shrugged, her voice cracking with emotion. I couldn't help but pull her into my arms and hold her. I didn't know what to say, what do you say to someone who thought life wasn't worth living because you hurt them. I did this to her, how could I make it better?

"I'm so sorry, love. I never wanted you to feel that way, I thought you would move on and forget about me." I murmured into her hair.

"How could I ever forget about you? You were my life. It wasn't just you either. Alice was my best friend. Not to mention Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Jasper...it wasn't just losing a boyfriend, it was losing _everyone_."

"I know." I sighed. "You are my life too."

"You were the one who walked away."

"It was the worst mistake I've ever made. You are my other half, and without you I'm not whole. I cannot survive without you." Something softened in her eyes and she wrapped her arms around me, burying her head into my chest again.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "I think we all owe you an apology Bella, for not thinking it through, for dismissing your feelings so easily. I'm embarrassed at how we handled things, and I hope in time you can forgive us all."

"Of course." Always forgiving, that was my Bella.

"Bella, what is important now is that you are here, and you have all of us here for support. If you ever need to talk to someone, we're all available for you. Do you still have feelings of wanting to hurt yourself?" Carlisle asked, stepping into the role of doctor.

I'm not sure how Bella still had tears left as much as she had cried lately. As the tears slid down her cheeks, she answered. "Honestly? The urge is still there. Especially when I think of my family and what I did to them. But I won't act on it, I know that's not fair to myself or any of you. Thinking about it now, it just seems really stupid to try to hurt myself, but I still feel the need to release these emotions somehow. I'm not sure if I am making any sense, I know it doesn't make sense to me." She looked up at me and searched my face for my reaction, before continuing. I tried to give her a comforting smile, not letting the torment show on my face. I could feel Jasper's calming influence and tried to soak it in.

"I do feel better, having you all here, but I'm not going to be perfectly ok overnight. I may not ever be completely ok. When I think of the pain I caused Charlie, Renee...all my friends...the guilt is overwhelming. When I made the decision to end it, I expected that to be the end. Having to deal with still being alive, but everyone thinking I killed myself..." She shook her head again. "I knew before that it was inevitable, when, or if, I was changed, that we'd have to fake my death. It's harder than I thought, leaving behind those I love. I guess I did get to say goodbye to Charlie and Renee, in a way though...Alice do you know? Are they going to be ok?"

"They will be alright Bella. The loss of a child is a hard thing to deal with, but they would have had to deal with it eventually, I never saw you living a long human life." I hissed at Alice, always revealing too much. She glared at me. _She deserves to know the truth and I'm tired of hiding things and lying to her. "_I'm not sure if that helps any, but I thought I should be honest. They will always miss you, but they'll find their own happiness. Do you want me to watch them for you?" My sister asked, full of compassion. The tears were flowing down Bella's cheeks again, and she nodded.

Carlisle waited for her to calm down before continuing the discussion. "So, Bella, we have all talked and come up with some ideas for helping you through all this. You've been through more than anyone should and are dealing with a lot of different issues. It would be negligent of us to just sweep everything under the rug and pretend it never happened. Jasper and I both have degrees in Psychology, and most of the family has taken courses through the years. Our hope is that you will allow us to counsel you and help you through this, that you feel comfortable enough to talk to us about anything that may be bothering you. How does that sound?"

Bella groaned and buried her face in her hands. "As much as I'd love to sweep everything under the rug, I know it's not healthy. I know I'm not fine, and Edward and I have some issues we need to work through as well." She eyed me apologetically, and I gave her a reassuring smile. I knew we had a lot to work through, but the fact that she was willing to work on _us_ made me elated.

Everyone smiled.

_Good, this is what she needs._

_...everything is going just as it should._

"You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that Bella." Carlisle sat back, relieved that she was willing to accept our help. "One thing that is important is for you to try to live again. I know it's difficult while we're holed up in the winter on a private island, but I believe you'll find comfort in reclaiming some of your daily routines. Your life is still going forward, and while you should definitely talk about what's happened in the past, it is not healthy to dwell there. Take some time to think about what you would like to do in the future, while still human, as well as after the change. It is normal for you to feel lost right now, and this should help give you some direction. You have many lifetimes and opportunities ahead of you."

I looked down at Bella and she had the most serene smile on her face. I should never have doubted Carlisle's ability to reach her. Sure, I had seen him in practice with his patients, and experienced the calm and collected demeanor with which he led the family, but watching him with Bella was something else. He was a natural with her and I could tell they would share a deep bond in the many, many years to come. While he would never replace Charlie, he would fill the role to some extent.

"That sounds like a good place to start Carlisle, thank you. I do feel very lost, and my mind seems to run in circles going over everything that has happened. Shifting my focus would be good, I just didn't know where to begin." She sat up a little straighter, and I buried my nose in her hair, breathing deeply.

"I think we'll just handle this informally for now. If you feel the need to talk to someone, just let us know, and from time to time one of us may find you. Also, if at any time things become to overwhelming, please let me know. None of us can read your mind, so we need you to be open and honest with us, communicate and keep talking. Alright?"

"Sure." Bella was uneasy with all this attention. Her face never lost that familiar blush, and now her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy from more tears.

_She's going to be just fine Edward. Bella has a strong mind and she'll sort all this out in no time. _Carlisle reassured me.

I tilted my head slightly indicated I heard him, and decided Bella had enough stress for today. _Wait._ I caught myself. It's up to her whether she has had enough or not. I have to let her make her own decisions. So I bit my lip, figuratively, and stayed by her side instead of encouraging her to go rest.

Everyone was quiet for a moment before I caught the direction of Jasper's thoughts. "Bella?" He asked as he leaned forward. "May I ask what you are thinking about right now?" Her eyes immediately clouded over.

"I forgot you can do that." She gave him a weak smile. "It's nothing."

"Bella?" Carlisle urged.

She blanched and cleared her throat. "I just feel awful that I always seem to bring some kind of trouble to your family. From the first day Edward met me, it seems like one thing after another. Your family lived in peace for so long, until I showed up. And now...Edward left me, you all left and moved on with your lives. I feel like I forced my way back into the family. I've done nothing but cause problems for you all, and yet, here you are still trying to help me...willing to accept me." She chewed on her lower lip.

"Well it may be true that our family has had quite our share of excitement since you first crossed our path." His eyes danced in amusement. "However, do not think for one moment that we aren't happy to have you in our lives. You have nothing to feel guilty about, if we did not want you in our lives, we wouldn't be here right now. It's our choice to be here for you because we care a great deal about you. You have brought something to our family that was missing and the only thing we would change is the fact that we left you in the first place."

Jasper spoke honestly. I expected this kind of speech from Carlisle, but not Jasper. Alice was beaming, love radiating for her mate. Suddenly, I felt guilty. Guilty for pushing Jasper away as soon as Bella came into my life. He was my brother and it had been a long time since I'd treated him like one.

Jasper fixed his gaze on me and arched an eyebrow. _And what are you feeling guilty about?_

I shook my head dismissively and promised myself that I would fix this later.

"Thank you Jasper, that means a lot." Bella whispered. "I think I'm going to go to my room now, if we're finished?" She asked, looking at Carlisle expectantly.

He nodded. "I think that's enough for today. Please know that what Jasper said goes for all of us. You will always be a part of this family."

Bella retreated to her room, and in a matter of minutes we heard the unmistakable sound of a pen on paper. She was writing again, and I hoped it was helping. Alice had gifted her with a journal before we left Denali, in case writing proved to be therapeutic or if she wanted to write down the memories she wanted to keep once she was changed. She had been writing in it on a regular basis and Alice had already purchased additional journals in case Bella needed them. It was surreal that Bella was going into the change with all this knowledge and I know my entire family was curious to see how it affected the outcome. None of us had a choice, or even knew vampires were real until we were bitten or woke up. Our human memories were fuzzy, and Alice had none at all. Bella may have a completely different experience, and perhaps her first year would not be so wrought with confusion and chaos. I could hope of course, though Jasper assured me it was unlikely, having turned hundreds, if not thousands of humans himself.

Alice began speaking too low and fast for Bella to hear. "Christmas is in a couple of days and it's going to be Bella's last one as a human. We should do something special."

"With everything that has been going on, I completely forgot until we went into town. I wasn't sure if Bella would feel up to it, or if she would want to skip it because the holiday might hold too many painful memories for her." Esme's eyes glistened with excitement. Alice and Esme both enjoyed the holiday season, parties and decorations and gifts. I could see Esme was imagining baking cookies for Bella, along with a traditional Christmas dinner. Alice had visions of decorations literally dancing in her head. Carlisle was remembering Christmases past with fondness, and Jasper was thoughtful about how Bella might react. I wasn't sure, and didn't want to make any decisions without asking her, so I decided to go ask. I could have Alice look, but that wouldn't be fair to Bella. We had to stop making decisions without her input.

I was at her door in an instant and knocked lightly. Her sweet voice told me to come in. Wherever she was, it was home, and there was no sweeter sound than her voice. It sang to my soul.

"Edward?" She gave me a small smile and I joined her on the bed, tucking a strand of her hair behind her cheek. She leaned into my touch a bit.

"I wanted to ask you about something." I took her hand in mine. "Christmas is in a couple of days and we were wondering how you felt about celebrating. This will be your last Christmas as a human, but we also realize that you might not feel like celebrating considering what you've been through."

I watched her bite down on her bottom lip and before I could stop myself, I gently cupped her chin and traced my thumb over it, thus releasing it from her teeth. She sucked in a gasp and her eyes burned with desire for just a moment. Hope swelled inside me, but I dropped my hand and mumbled an apology. I shouldn't have touched her so intimately yet.

"Yes." She said. "I want to celebrate Christmas. Life goes on, and this being my last human Christmas is important. One of those _human experiences_ you were always so insistent upon."

Bella barely got the words out of her mouth before Alice was in the room squealing with excitement. "Oh Bella, this is going to be the best Christmas ever because you're with us!" She bounced on the bed. We'll have to go into town of course, and the boys will have to find a tree. There should be a suitable one on the island already Edward." And she showed me the mental image of the one she wanted. "Of course we have to have Christmas dinner with all the trimmings." Bella groaned and pulled a pillow over her face as Alice continued with her plans. "Make a list of everything you want to eat and Esme will go grocery shopping tomorrow. We'll make a day of it, all day shopping."

"Alice, please remember Bella still doesn't have stamina of a healthy human, let alone a psychotic vampire." I teased gently, ever cautious about Bella's recovery. It hadn't even been two weeks since she was on death's doorstep, and she was just now getting over the tail end of pneumonia.

My sister huffed and rolled her eyes. "I know! She can still help us pick out decorations and shop for gifts. I'll make sure that we take breaks and keep her fed. Oh you will come won't you Bella?"

"Haven't you already seen it Alice?" She asked, her voice muffled from the pillow.

"Well, yes, but I still wanted to ask. I promise we'll take it easy." Alice yanked the pillow off of Bella's head and flashed her a huge grin.

"Of course I'll come Alice." Bella resigned herself to her fate.

"Good! Now what colors should we do? I was thinking traditional with red, green and silver... but something different might be nice...purple and silver? Either one would look really nice and classy." She frowned. "All our ornaments are in storage, we didn't think to ship them out for the holiday. Bella, I can't wait for you to see our collection. Carlisle has some truly beautiful and ancient ones."

"I bet they are amazing Alice. I'll see them next year. How about white lights, with purple and silver?" Bella decided. Alice had that far away look in her eye, she was watching the future develop as decisions were made.

Alice grinned mischievously. "Perfect! We'll need lots of mistletoe and candles."

I started to get up and leave the room but Bella clamped down on my hand giving me a look that said I wasn't going anywhere and would have to suffer through this with her. We mostly sat and listened to Alice prattle on about all kinds of ideas, occasionally giving our input when asked.

Suddenly Bella jumped and her whole face brightened. Alice grinned and quickly started her usually mind blocking tactics. "That's perfect for him Bella! We'll get it tomorrow." I tried to quell my curiosity and didn't pry into Alice's thoughts any further. Alice always knew what her presents, and everyone else's were, but I preferred a surprise. I started wondering what I could get for Bella, and if she would even be receptive to gifts this year, she always fought so hard against anything like this. Considering the talk she and Carlisle had, I was just going to go for it. I loved her and she would just have to accept anything I wished to buy her.

Eventually, Alice flitted out of the room to go discuss things further with Esme and Bella let go of her death grip on my hand.

"Edward, I don't have the faintest clue what to get them." She sounded nervous.

"Anything you choose will be perfect, love." I reassured her. "Why don't you make a list of things you'd like for Christmas dinner. I know Esme is already excited about baking cookies with you."

"I'm the only one who eats, there's really no need to cook all that food."

"It's your last Christmas dinner, as a human anyway, you should have everything you love. We can freeze whatever you don't eat and you can have the leftovers later." I suggested.

"I guess that would work. It would be fun...I think." Her eyes lit up a little at the thought, and in that moment the world seemed a little brighter.

~~**~~

Carlisle, Jasper and I left the house to find the tree after Alice called to tell us they were on their way home. She wanted us out of the house while they unloaded the spoils of their shopping day. Alice claimed that she didn't want me to see what everyone had gotten, that one person knowing was enough, but I knew there was more to it. I played along, it was nice for the family to have some fun once in a while and secrets were hard to keep.

Jasper was radiating joy through our little trio, but Carlisle had the rest of our family on his mind. He thought if he could convince Em and Rose to come home it would be the perfect gift for Esme, but his last conversation with Rose did not go so well. She thought we had left Bella and all the _problems_ that went with her behind in Forks. In not so many words, she told him she would come home when the human was gone. None of us knew exactly what she meant and if her feelings would change once Bella was one of us. Em was unhappy, feeling torn between his wife and his family. Bella had become a little sister to him, and it just added to his turmoil that he couldn't be here for her. He called me once since they left to let me know how he really felt and to apologize for not being there. I knew he would work on Rose, but she was stubborn. We all missed Emmett's presence, especially at Christmas. Getting the tree had always been something the four of us did, and the big oaf enjoyed the holiday with childlike excitement. This holiday seemed like it would be quite somber.

"So where do we find this perfect tree Edward?" Carlisle asked as we ran through the forest.

"I'll know it when I see it. There's some trees similar to the one in her vision on the east side of the island." The exact location was not apparent in Alice's vision, but knowing every inch of the island would help narrow it down.

It felt good to stretch my legs and let loose through the snow. Being a vampire meant I could enjoy the beauty of the white drifts without worrying about the cold, and I felt a pang of sadness that Bella could not be here beside me in this moment, but pure joy that we would have an eternity of Christmases to spend together. I ran through the trees, searching, until I saw the view from Alice's mind.

"It's here." I halted. Jasper and Carlisle joined me as I pointed it out. The balsam fir was perfect – full and symmetrical – and not too large since the cabin was crowded already. We all eyed the tree appreciatively and then stepped back. We usually took the time to hunt together and do some male bonding when we went out to get the tree, but there was nothing but rodents to hunt on the island and they were better left for emergencies.

"What do you say Edward, a wrestling match in honor of our wayward brother?" Jasper grinned at me, mischief gleaming in his eye. _On the count of three, let's take Carlisle down._ I looked up at the sky, knowing he would understand my assent.

_One...Two...Three!_

We crouched and sprang in unison, toppling our patriarch and rolling through the drifts of snow. Even Carlisle enjoyed a good match, though he seldom gave in. He was slower than me, and not as experienced as Jasper, having spent his centuries living a passive and peaceful life, but it was all in good fun. Jasper distracted me with a quick shot of lethargy, and Carlisle took the opportunity to throw me a few hundred feet into a deeper bank of snow. I laid there in hiding as the snow above me caved in, feeling the indescribable texture of each flake again my cool, granite skin. Since I had no body heat the snow would not melt. I followed Jasper and Carlisle's thoughts and watched the battle through their eyes. Carlisle got the upper hand and sent Jasper flying in my direction, as soon as he landed I leapt from the snow and tackled him, taking him by surprise. We continued the battle, relieving any pent up aggression. Jasper would distract me with errant emotions, but I could read his moves before he made them, though through the years he has learned how to keep me out of his head in a match pretty successfully. We finally called a draw when we had each other in a headlock. Laughing and shaking hands, we dusted the snow out of our hair and loped back to Carlisle who had taken the time to rip our chosen Christmas tree out of the ground. He greeted us with a reserved smile. _My sons, it's good to have them back._

"It's good to be back Carlisle." I leveled a steady and sincere gaze at the man I considered my father. So much was shared in just one look, though there was still unspoken tension between us. I had been his first companion and the bond we shared was almost as strong as that of a mate. He continued to welcome me back with open arms no matter how many times I strayed or how heinous my crimes. As much as I believed we were damned immortals without souls, I honestly could not look at Carlisle and see the soulless monster I considered myself to be.

The three of us hoisted the tree to our shoulders and took off at a light jog towards the house. When we arrived at the house, our ladies were waiting for us on the porch. Alice and Esme were singing carols in their minds, and I couldn't tell for sure if they were just in the Christmas spirit or if they were blocking something. Bella was bundled up between the two of them, holding a mug of hot cider, the crisp apple scent warmed the air.

Esme and Alice got up from the bench and met us at the stairs. "It's perfect!" Alice beamed. "Go a head and take it in, the stand is ready."

"We need to level off the bottom first, if you'll get the saw Jasper." Carlisle greeted Esme with a chaste kiss and a smile.

I left them to go sit by Bella. "Did you have a nice time today?"

"Yes, actually. It _was_ fun. Alice was good and found places for me to rest while she and Esme blew through the stores like tornadoes. They did the grocery shopping while I sat and ate lunch at a little deli. Looks like you guys had fun too." She gently traced a rip in my shirt, and my skin burned with the heat of her touch.

I chuckled. "Yeah, kind of a tradition. A little male bonding as we hunt down a tree for our womenfolk."

"It's a beautiful tree." She sipped her cider and I watched the muscles in her throat flex as she swallowed, her pink tongue darting out to lick the rest from her top lip.

"Mmhmm...." I was too busy watching her as she watched the ocean through the trees.

She turned to me, her deep brown eyes scanning my face as to memorize every detail. They lingered on the lock of hair hanging over my forehead and I knew she wanted to run her fingers through it, I could see her fingers twitch ever so slightly. "Will you be going into town now to get your Christmas shopping done?" One eyebrow arched delicately awaiting my answer.

"Yes, as soon as the tree is set up. Alice kind of works herself into a frenzy decorating the thing, and it's best if everyone stays out of her way. Besides, the stores will close early tomorrow since it's Christmas Eve, so we want to get it over with. We're usually much more prepared than this..." I trailed off, not wanting her to feel guilty any more than she already did. No matter how I phrased it, she would blame herself for interrupting our holiday. The family had planned to spend it in Denali, but with everything that happened, all thoughts of Christmas kind of went out the door. Personally, I could do without the holiday. I already had the most precious gift sitting beside me.

"Maybe I'll hide out in my room then. You should see all the decorations she bought." Bella rolled her eyes. "She even insisted on Christmas pajamas and outfits for everyone."

"Sounds like Alice." I laughed.

The silence we shared then wasn't as comfortable as it once had been. Both of us seemed to have a million things to say but refused to let them cross our lips. Our bodies ached to reacquaint themselves with each other, but we held ourselves back.

Bella finished the last sip of her cider and then rose to go inside. I followed. The tree had been set up and there were packages and bags everywhere. _Let's make a run for it._ Jasper caught my eye with a pointed look.

"Ready Carlisle?" I asked, anxious to get going. Bella truly had no idea how manic Alice could be about decorating.

I watched the two couples kiss goodbye and looked at Bella, yearning for the same. Her eyes flickered over my face, lingering on my lips, before she gave me a small smile. "Have fun." She said quickly before making a beeline for her room.

~~**~~

"I'm sorry." I told them on the boat ride over to the main island. Carlisle cut the engine and sat down to face me. We hadn't spoken much since I rejoined the family, and it was probably long overdue. Carlisle had the patience of a saint and had been waiting for me to be ready. "I'm sorry for everything I've put this family through over the past few months. I have made some bad choices, and I hope you all can forgive me."

"Of course we forgive you. I only hope you've learned some things over the past few months Edward. Love isn't a game, you can't play with her emotions. If you're going to love her, you have to let go of all the guilt and regret. She has never blamed you for anything that happened to her. She has never regretted knowing you and loving you. You have waited a long time for this, and you do deserve it."

"Really Edward." Jasper scoffed. "Surely, if _I_ deserve the happiness I have found with Alice after all I have done, you can see that you deserve the same. It's time for the self-loathing to stop. Be happy. Make Bella happy. Enjoy your lives together. Just like we told her, you have many lifetimes ahead of you, it's time to stop dwelling on the past."

"But don't you understand that I've basically killed the only woman I've ever loved? I've condemned her to this damned existence and now there's no escape from it. Alice was already a vampire, you didn't have to worry about taking her life, her soul!" It was different for me and Bella, but I'd never been able to convince my family of this. Only Rose stood by me in my insistence that Bella remain human,.

"You forget, son, I also loved a human. Are you saying I damned Esme? Do you believe she is a monster?" Carlisle's words were hard. I knew he struggled with guilt over turning each of us, but he had never allowed it to consume him as I did. His was more of a fleeting question of whether it was the right thing to do, and the only true remorse he felt was with Rose since she had never gotten over losing her human life. Esme had found her place in this life and I would never consider her a monster. Even when I watched her struggle as a newborn, in the throes of blood lust, the word monster never crossed my mind. Why did I consider myself so much worse than the others? Because for a few years I gave into that monster within and took human lives. Even if I tried to justify that they were murderers and rapists, truly evil people, the fact still remained that I killed.

"Of course not Carlisle. I look at you and Esme and you're both so...good. You know why I feel differently about myself. All I see is the monster, I killed people. Perhaps it is also different because Bella is a healthy human with so much life ahead of her. Esme was dying and had lived through so much suffering. You gave Esme a new beginning, and I believe she's been happy."

"Son, you went through a dark period in your life, but even then you tried to be noble. You have never seen the good in yourself as I do. You always tell Bella she doesn't see herself clearly, but it is _you_ that doesn't see yourself clearly. Bella sees the good in you just as easily as I do. She knows your past, she knows what you are, and she accepts it, just as Alice accepts Jasper, and Esme accepts me. When you love someone you accept the good with the bad. Everyone, even humans, have both positive and negative points in their lives, they make us who we are. You are stronger for having gone through all of that." I started to object but he held his hand up to stop me. "I know you don't see it...or rather you refuse to see it...but the fact is that you may have let your instincts take over, yet you still maintained enough control to consider who your victims were. Not to mention you turned your back on it all and returned home, returned to this lifestyle. That makes you a stronger man than you realize. Some of your victims would have continued to kill numerous times, in essence you saved more lives than you took, though I know you will never see it that way. I've told you this countless times, but you have to stop letting that period define who you are. I will never tell you that you should forget it ever happened. Quite the contrary, you should always remember that time in your life, but also remember why you turned your back on that part of your nature, for that says a lot more about who you are than what you did."

Jasper was listening intently, for a lot of what Carlisle said pertained to him as well. "Don't forget that you have resisted Bella's blood, as strongly as it calls to you, all because your love for her is stronger than your thirst. Can you truly say you are a monster when you deny that part of yourself every single day as you stand by her side? When she was bleeding in the middle of that ballet studio and you sucked the venom from her body, where was the monster? When you pulled her out of that river with blood pouring from her wrists and you carried her back to the house, stitching up her wounds, where was the monster? I have taken more lives, both human and vampire, than any of you and it weighs most heavily on my conscience. However, I turned away from that life and found my way here. I refuse to feel guilty about finally having something good in my life."

"But can either of you say that you would have chosen this life, if you could go back and do it all over again?" I asked, knowing the answer. We'd had this discussion numerous times.

"Of course not, but do we get to choose everything in our lives? Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control, and we have to make the best of them. I know you are afraid Bella does not fully comprehend what she is asking, and maybe she doesn't. I believe she knows a lot more about what she is giving up than you do though. She is wise for her years, and willing to sacrifice her humanity for happiness. You cannot help who you fall in love with, and she would rather live a damned immortal existence by your side, than to have a normal human life without you. You have to stop blaming yourself for her choices, and she would tell you the same thing." He gave me a knowing smile, if not slightly smug. He knew Bella.

I nodded, unsure of what to say, but knowing they were right. I couldn't continue to blame myself for everything that happened to Bella. It would only serve to drive us further apart. I had to consider that she made the choice to love me, knowing what I was. She made the choice to stay with me, even after being attacked by other vampires. Of course I had warned her, and she had experienced the brutality of my kind first hand, but she still refused to run away screaming. Once again I had disregarded her feelings, thinking I knew better. Of all people Bella would know her own heart better than I. I could blame it on her silent mind that I never knew the true depth of her emotions, but that would be a lie. I saw it in her eyes every time she looked at me, and I felt it in her touch, the electricity humming along my skin every time we came in contact. Did she not watch me and drink in the sight of me as hungrily as I did her? Did she not cling to me as desperately as I did to her? If I had stopped to actually think about it, I would have found that every indicator I had about the depth of my feelings for her, was reflected in her actions, proving she was just as connected to me. Did not our time apart prove this further? Both miserable, dead inside, considering ending our lives because without each other the pain was too intolerable. It was all right there in front of me. Yet I convinced myself that a human girl could never feel the same depth of love and utter devotion that I had for her. I gave myself permission to leave her because I thought her childish crush would be fleeting. I placed myself in charge of her, deciding what was safe for her, protecting her from what _I_ believed was a danger to her, including myself. She was not a pet to be taken care of, she was a woman to be loved and respected. While I may be older, I was certainly learning I was not wiser by any means.

"You're right." I suddenly exclaimed with a sharp exhale.

Both Jasper and Carlisle looked at me as if I had grown a second head. Their thoughts revealing they expected an argument and that everything would end up the same as it has always been when we've talked about these things in the past. That I would continue to blame myself and refuse to fully enjoy the gift that had been so delicately placed in my hands.

"She loves me." The brightest grin spreading across my face. "She chose _me_."

Carlisle's eyes sparkled. "Then you are finally going to allow yourself to enjoy this?"

"Absolutely." My grin was contagious and all three of us sat grinning like idiots at each other. I recognized the pure adoration and love they each felt for their mates, and it matched my own for once. I would be selfish and relish the fact that I would have Isabella by my side for eternity. It _was_ my turn to be happy. She chose me.


	15. Chapter 15

The entire time we were Christmas shopping, I could only think of getting back to Bella. My main gifts had been taken care of with a few phone calls and a bit of time on the computer, but I would still pick up a few tangible trinkets from the stores in this small town.

Jasper found me lingering in an artisan jewelry store, and I happened to be in front of the ring section though my thoughts were elsewhere.

_Are you going to propose?_

I shook my head. "It's too soon, though I would like nothing more than to call her my wife."

_You've been waiting a long time for this, a little longer won't be so bad._ He encouraged me.

"I have never been a patient man." I smirked at him. "Besides, I already have the ring."

_Your mother's?_

I nodded. The sales lady returned to hand me my purchase, a small box wrapped in silver paper with a blue bow. Jasper quirked an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. "I still had to buy her _something_." He gave me a knowing smile, opening one of his bags to show me a similar package. We laughed together as we left the store.

The boat ride home was quiet, each of us thrumming with eager anticipation at returning to our loved ones and enjoying the excitement of the holiday. The women were waiting for us at the pier when we docked, and the other two couples ran to the house, leaving me and Bella behind. Her face was flushed, not only with cold, and her eyes were bright with excitement. I couldn't help but smile and heard her heart stutter in response. It was healing to see something other than pain in those beautiful chocolate orbs.

"Hey." I took her hands in mind and pulled her to me, resting my forehead to hers and inhaling her scent deeply.

"Hey yourself." She replied breathlessly.

"Did you want me to carry you?" I asked as the path was still snowy.

"I think I can make it if we take it slow."

I wrapped my arm securely around her waist and we set off up the path at a human pace. Alice had taken my bags up to the cabin ahead of us, and I suspected they were up to something.

"Did you find everything you were looking for?" She asked.

"Everything I want is right beside me." My reply made her breath hitch and her scent bloomed once more with her blush. "As far as Christmas shopping goes, I found some things. Usually I'm more prepared, but I'm satisfied with my purchases considering the limited selection."

"Oh no, whatever will you do without a Tiffany's or Saks?" I enjoyed her teasing, a nice alternative to how serious she had been.

"It's not like you would want anything from either of those stores anyway." She tossed me a halfhearted glare. "Or were you secretly hoping for something with a little sparkle?" I waggled my eyebrows at her mischievously.

"I already have all the sparkle I can handle." Bella winked, pressing her body closer to my side while a smile played upon her soft lips. I longed to suckle that bottom lip between my own, to feel her warm breath against my mouth. Kissing Bella again would be my most treasured Christmas present, if only she would offer it.

We were at the front porch, and my family was moving far off in the distance. For some reason they had left us alone on purpose, and I wondered what kind of surprise Bella might have for me. I had never found myself excited about Christmas before, but now I could understand my family's enchantment with the holiday. Having someone you love to share it with makes all the difference. Spending the holiday with family for so many decades was nice in and of itself, but it took on a whole new level when the love of your life was by your side.

Bella turned to me, her pulse racing. She looked up at me through those long dark lashes of hers and I was lost in those doe like eyes. "I know it's not Christmas yet, but I have a present for you." Once again I cursed her silent mind. It was difficult for anyone to surprise me, though my family was sometimes successful, and this was maddening. Thank goodness I didn't have long to wait. The anticipation of what she wanted to give me had my mind racing and I hadn't a clue what it might be.

She picked up a scrap of fabric off the bench on the porch. "I'm going to blindfold you, if that's ok?" Her voice was timid and I couldn't keep the grin off my face.

"Sure." I bent down so she could reach better and she deftly tied the fabric around my head.

"Can you see?"

"Nope."

Her small warm hands slipped into my own and she tugged gently to signal me to follow. I heard the creak of the floorboards, then the door. The scent of the fir tree overwhelmed the small space, but there was lemon and vanilla and spice underneath that. None were as delicious as the scent of my love in front of me. She led me slowly through the space, though I could have done it on my own. I could tell she was nervous and she actually tripped once herself, my arms quickly steadying her.

Finally, her movements stilled. "You can take it off now." She told me and my hands made quick work of the blindfold. My eyes quickly scanned the area in front of me and what I saw caught me off guard. It was not anything I would have thought of myself. I had not touched a piano since the week before I left her, all my inspiration had been lost the day I gave her up. Set up beside the tree was an electronic keyboard, complete with stand and seat.

"Bella..." I spoke softly and she interrupted me.

"I know it's not anything like what you're used to playing, but it's the only thing I could find and..."

I crossed the few steps between us and pressed my fingertips to her lips to still them. "Bella, I love it. Thank you." It took a moment for my words to sink in and then the most breathtaking smile slowly crept across her face. If my heart still beat, it surely would have lurched at the sight. "It's perfect." I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me.

"Will you play?" She murmured into my chest. I froze at her simple request and she quickly pulled away, uncertainty showing on her face. "You don't have to..."

"Shhh. Bella, I would like nothing more than to play for you." I reassured her, tipping her face gently upwards. She blushed and pulled away, gesturing towards the keyboard and chewing on her lip nervously.

I sat down at the keyboard and quickly scanned all the buttons and controls. It was the best one she could find in this town and I was surprised she had actually purchased something so extravagant. Maybe Carlisle's talk with her about our money situation actually sunk in. I ran through the scales as I tested out the pressure and spacing of the keys, and adjusted a few settings until I was satisfied with the sound. I took a moment to look into those beautiful brown eyes, the ones that inspired me, and gently pressed my fingers to the keys. The cabin was filled with the notes of an all too familiar piece. I held her gaze as I continued to play the most beautiful piece of music I'd ever written, only because it reminded me so completely of her. It wasn't long before the tears began to slide down her cheeks. A myriad of emotions danced through her eyes – mostly love and sorrow – the story of our love played out between us as we remembered each high and low of our melancholy tale. New notes danced through my head that I wanted to add to the piece eventually. Notes of love lost, despair, and lovers reunited. Notes of change and a future together with no more barriers between us. When I finished with it this time, the piece would have a joyful ending.

The last notes lingered in the air as Bella and I remained rooted in place. Emotions were high, and our thoughts were racing. I heard my family in the distance celebrating the music they had missed as well. Bella was the music in our lives. Only with her by my side could I be inspired to play, and the family rejoiced as they had in Forks when I sat down at the piano for the first time in ages when she walked into my life.

I stood up then, no longer able to stay away from her and closed the distance between us. I took her beautiful face between my palms and gently wiped the tears away. "I would be crying too, if I could. I love you so much, Bella. There are no words to describe..." Suddenly her warm little fingers covered my lips, hushing me. Then her hands closed around my wrists and she tugged my hands away from her face. Her eyes flickered to my lips and back up to my eyes. Her pink tongue darted out over her lips and blood began to swirl under her skin in the most beautiful blush. I knew what she wanted in that moment, but it would have to be her move. She reached one arm up and cupped the back of my neck, pulling me down towards her, our lips were mere inches apart and I could feel her sweet breath washing over me. Then every so softly, the faintest whisper of her lips on mine. The next press of her lips was more insistent, and my arms snaked around her waist, crushing her to me. One hand found it's way into her silky hair and the other settled on the soft swell of her hip. Our kiss became desperate, as her hands fisted in my hair and she continued to pull me impossibly closer to her. This kiss was our reclaiming of what was lost. All too soon I had to pull back and remind her to breathe, but I continued kissing her cheeks, tasting the lingering salt of her tears, then her eyes, her forehead and her chin. I continued pressing my lips down her jaw line and to her neck. I firmly kissed the translucent skin that lay just over her jugular and felt the blood pulsing just beneath my lips. I inhaled deeply, savoring the scent that was pure Bella. I parted my lips from her skin and pressed my forehead to hers, both of us panting with emotion and desire. As she calmed down, the smile returned to her face. She was breathtaking, as always, and I savored the taste of her on my lips. She was flowers and salt and honey, and it was as if everything about her was made just for me.

Our family chose that moment to interrupt as they filed through the front door. Alice smiled knowingly with Jasper at her side, a smirk on his face. Esme was overjoyed, and Carlisle was quite confident in his thoughts that Bella and I were well on the way to reconciliation.

"It will be so wonderful to have music in the house again. Especially for Christmas. Please play some more for us Edward?" Esme pleaded, beaming at me while her hands framed my face.

Bella melted away from the group as my family converged around me and all I wanted to do was to scoop her up into my arms and run, but I was unable to deny Esme. I sat once more at the keyboard and began to play the piece I wrote for her. The family sat on the couches while I ran through a couple songs. The depth of the notes was nowhere near as rich as the tones a real piano produces, but it held it's own charm. Bella played absently with the arm of the couch, her fingers tracing invisible patterns in the fabric and a constant smile rested upon her lips. All I could think about was being close to her again. I wanted to wrap myself around her and revel in the scent and taste and feel of her. I finished the third song and in the silence Bella's hunger made itself known as she turned bright red because every vampire in the room turned to look at her.

"Dinner time for the human." She said sheepishly as she clutched her hand to her gurgling stomach.

Esme jumped up, looking contrite, and apologized for not thinking about it sooner and Bella dismissed her worries. The two women made their way to the kitchen deciding what to make for dinner. I watched Bella's hair and hips sway as she moved across the room. I wanted to tangle my fingers in her silky tresses and feel them fanned out across my bare chest. I was drunk with the essence of Bella.

"Well I have lots of gifts to wrap!" Alice chirped as she pulled Jasper into their room. _If you don't mind Edward, some Christmas music would be nice._

With a sigh I launched into an exhausting repertoire of all kinds of Christmas music. Carlisle watched me play, pride shone in his eyes. After a bit, he excused himself to go wrap presents himself. _Thank you son. You know how much this means to Esme._ I also knew how much it meant to him.

Esme and Bella worked together in the kitchen. Esme refusing to let Bella wield a knife, and Bella trying to keep up with Esme, who really was trying to move at human speed. Bella stared, enraptured, as Esme diced through vegetables at lightening speed and conceded that it was definitely best that Esme handle the knives. I watched Bella move through the kitchen, more graceful there than she's ever been elsewhere. I couldn't help the feelings of love and joy that swelled within me, as well as the tenor of the music. Jasper caught my attention as he addressed me in his thoughts. He was leaning against the wall outside of his room.

_You deserve this happiness brother. You have no idea how overjoyed I am for you. The whole house is pulsing with every positive emotion you could name. Bella doesn't just complete you, she completes the family. She is a large part of our happiness. _

I nodded my head in gratitude for my brother's words. Knowing that Jasper relished the atmosphere like a drug when it was this positive. He would soak in every ounce of the euphoric energy that he could. He'd absorbed unfathomable years of pain during his life, before he found Alice and our family. Since he has been with us, I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around, that is until I allowed Bella into my heart. The days after her birthday, once I had made the decision to leave her, had left me in unbearable pain on top of the feelings of loss from the rest of the family. Add that to his own shame and guilt over what happened that night, and Jasper should have left immediately. Instead, his penance for being the catalyst for separating Bella and myself, was that he stood by my side and tried to impart whatever he could to help me. He gave me strength and comfort when I could not find it within myself. He had been the one to insist on staying, and while he remained, Alice's mind spewed all kinds of vitriol, not only about my choice to leave Bella and take the family away from her, but for the suffering I was inflicting upon her mate. When they finally left, he was in such a state that Alice and Carlisle were seriously concerned for his wellbeing. I was surprised that the house did not crumble under the tension and pain the family lived through for that forty-eight hours.

That was just one of the many reasons I never followed them to Alaska. The first being that I could not leave Bella unprotected. Additionally, I did not want to subject Jasper to my despair. The family had enough to handle without having to deal with me. So I was pleased he could have this _gift_ of a house full of love and joy for the holiday.

I finished playing when Bella's meal was ready because I needed to be close to her again. I physically ached to touch her. I sat beside her at the table, our legs barely touching, but it was enough to feel the charge of electricity that hummed between us. Her meal smelled revolting, but watching her eat was enticing. The way her lips pulled the food from the fork, the muscles in her jaw and throat moving sinuously as she chewed and swallowed, and that delicious pink tongue that snaked out to catch any particles of food lingering on her lips. I was entranced. Jasper teased me in his thoughts as he felt the lust and longing rolling off me. If only I could give in to those desires.

As soon as she finished with her dinner, I swiped the dishes and washed them before she could protest. Alice emerged from her room then and suggested hunting, so that we would be well sated before the holiday.

"Edward can stay here with Bella and then go out later when she's asleep. The rest of us can go now." She flashed me a grin and winked. _We all could use some couple time. _I let out a quiet growl, knowing exactly what she was insinuating. Her vision of Bella and I together under the Christmas tree flickered through her mind in between her mental shouts of joy. _You haven't even commented on the decorations, Edward, and I spent hours putting all this together. You've only had eyes for her since you got back. _She chided me playfully.

"Everything looks beautiful, as always, Alice." I murmured quickly but sincerely. She beamed and skipped out of the cabin with Jasper.

_Are you sure you'll be alright? _Carlisle fixed me with a pointed stare and I nodded once. Apparently my lustful thoughts of Bella this evening were obvious to everyone, and I was supposed to be the mind reader in the family.

After everyone had filed out, I closed the door with a heavy sigh. Bella was curled up on the couch, twisting a lock of her hair nervously. She watched the flames dance in the fireplace and I desperately wanted to be privy to whatever thoughts were swirling through her mind. She looked so serene and content in that moment, a pleasing alternative to the constant pain and sadness that had been reflected in her eyes over the past weeks. I made my way to the couch and sat beside her, pulling her in close to me.

"Thank you." I whispered in her ear. "Other than you, this is the best gift I've ever been given." I could feel her heat increase as she blushed.

"I missed your playing." She admitted. "_Someone _took my CD." I winced though she couldn't see me.

"Would you like for me to play it again?"

She shook her head. "Not right now, but you can hum it to me later." Her voice was low and almost husky, making clear her desire to have me in her bed tonight. Alice's vision immediately came to mind.

"Hmm. Close your eyes for a minute." I requested as I sat her up on the couch and got up.

"Why? What are you doing? You know I don't like surp..."

"Bella, please." I pleaded, giving her my best _dazzling_ look. She sighed and acquiesced, dark lashes resting on her pale cheeks. Racing around the small cabin, I quickly had quilts and pillows arranged on the floor in front of the fireplace. The tree loomed beside the fireplace, and the only light was cast from the fire and the small twinkling lights on the tree. "Keep them closed." I warned her as I picked her up and relocated her to the makeshift pallet I had made. She squealed with the sudden movement.

Softly, I pressed my lips to hers, then laid down beside her. "You can open them now." Her eyes were full of wonder as she looked up at the tree. The firelight played upon the branches and ornaments.

I was rewarded with another breathtaking smile. "It's beautiful."

Propping myself up beside her, I gazed down at the perfect creature beside me. "No. _You_ are beautiful." I gently cupped her face in my hand and at the risk of sounding like a lovesick puppy, recited a poem she had inspired.

"_What thoughts lie beneath these fathomless eyes, _

_Shimmering with secrets and stories untold._

_Dark lashes frame chocolate pools of desire._

_I am lost in their depths."_

She started to speak, but I pressed my fingers to her lips and continued.

"_How blood does rush in a beautiful blush,_

_Beneath silky skin, satin smooth like glass._

_Warmth spreads upon thy cheek._

_I am beholden to touch."_

I caressed her cheek lightly with my thumb, then continued the next verse as I traced over her forehead and down to her jawline with my fingertips.

"_How chestnut tresses flow over cheek and brow,_

_Cascading, sleek and shiny in the sun._

_Velvet tendrils, twisting and twining, _

_I am entwined in their grasp."_

My hands wound their way into her hair and I held her still as I whispered the rest of the poem, my mouth mere centimeters from hers.

"_What lips are these that long to please,_

_Smooth and slippery, sweet like nectar._

_Rose petal soft, ripe in full bloom,_

_I cannot resist a taste."_

Bella's heart was racing and she licked her lips in anticipation as I pressed my mouth to hers. I offered a soft, chaste kiss, then ran my tongue along her lips, tasting her. She granted me permission and I tentatively explored her sweet mouth, deepening the kiss. Pressing one more firm kiss to her lips, I breathed, "I adore you." Her lips curved into a smile against my own, and a solitary tear slid down her cheek. I quickly kissed it away. "I love you desperately and completely, Isabella. You are everything to me, and I don't care how long it takes for you to forgive me, I will never give up. Without you, there is nothing for me. I love you." I had to kiss her again and then pressed my forehead to hers. "I will always love you."

"Edward." She breathed. "That was beautiful."

"I wrote it for you. Poetry is not my strongest suit, I'm much better at expressing myself with music." I chuckled.

"It was perfect." She assured me. Uncertainty clouded her eyes, and she began chewing on her bottom lip. I ran my thumb along her mouth to get her to release it.

"What's wrong, love?"

"I...just..." She sighed in frustration. "I love you. I will always love you. This...us..." Bella motioned between us. "It's _right_. As much as I have been through, I cannot deny that I love you with every fiber of my being. My rational brain keeps telling me that I shouldn't let you be so close, that I should still be mad at you for putting me through all this. But I can't. I'm hurting and confused, and the only time I feel anything good is when I am with you. I want you to kiss me, to hold me, to lay beside me as I sleep. My brain and my heart are just at odds with this whole situation."

"Believe it or not, I understand completely. The entire time we were together my brain and my heart were warring with each other. My mind screamed that what we were doing was wrong. I was dangerous and didn't deserve someone as good and innocent as you. My heart told me that I'd never felt anything like this before and for the first time in my very, very long existence, I had a purpose. I felt whole."

"Edward, you are worthy of love. You deserve to be happy." She insisted, and for the first time I didn't automatically dismiss the idea. Maybe everyone deserved happiness, including me.

"I believe you, Bella. I want to stop fighting this and just allow myself to be happy that you are with me. If I had simply listened to my heart long ago, I would have run away with you and made you mine in _every_ way possible. I believe that maybe it's time we both stop thinking so much, and just allow ourselves to feel. We both deserve to be happy, and we're happiest when we're together."

She was surprised and had expected more of an argument from me, but when she realized the truth of my words, she nodded. "Not everything is going to be perfect, but I agree. I'm ready to just enjoy whatever happiness I can have at this point. When I'm with you, I feel like I can finally breathe again. Your touch, your scent, everything about you calms me, makes me feel whole. Maybe I'm weak, but I need you Edward."

"Then I am weak too, because I need you as well." I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her on top of me. I couldn't get close enough. Her soft, warm body lay atop mine, her arms cradling my head while I buried my face in the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply, trying to absorb everything about her. My arms wrapped around her torso, one hand tangled in her hair and I pulled her to me as tightly as I dared without hurting her.

"I can't get close enough to you." She whimpered, tightening her hold on me.

"Me either."

Bella squirmed against me, pressing herself closer to me. Her hips ground into mine and I felt myself hardening at the friction. She gasped softly and the heat of her body increased as she flushed. The scent of her arousal filled the room and an involuntary growl escaped me.

She froze. "I'm sorry."

Usually, when our activities became too heated, I would pull away because I was afraid of my control slipping and thirst breaking through. This was different. The only desire I felt was one for her body, and while I was sure we were far, far away from doing _that_, exploring together a little further seemed possible for the first time.

I began kissing along her neck and collarbone. "No, it's fine." I reassured her. "Let's just take it slow."

Bella pulled back from me, her eyes widening in surprise, then narrowing in disbelief as she searched my face for something. I couldn't help but chuckle. "I've never been in better control of _that_ side of my nature. I don't think it's even possible for me to hurt you, Bella. You mean too much to me."

Grinning, she sat up, the heat at her center pressing into my erection, and I groaned with the sensation. Trying to remain as still as possible, she pulled her shirt off over her head and sat above me in just a simple white cotton bra, her hard peaks straining against the fabric. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her perfect form, as the firelight danced upon her skin. She was beautiful. I had seen her naked in those first days after pulling her from the river, but I was so worried about her wellbeing that any other thoughts were far from my mind. I took my time drinking in the sight of her, and when she instinctively moved her arms to cover herself, I stopped her and sat up. "You are so beautiful, Isabella." My voice was thick with emotion. I pulled her arms around me and she wrapped her legs behind me as we sat embracing each other. My hands roamed over the silky bare flesh of her back and my fingertips brushed languidly up and down the sensitive skin on her sides.

Her hands slipped down my sides and tugged at the hem of my shirt. "You are wearing entirely too many clothes." She purred. I pulled away from her for only an instant in order to shed my shirt. It was her turn to stare and drink in the sight of my bare chest, and that she most definitely did. Her eyes traced every line, and her fingers followed. "Perfect." She mumbled, finally tearing her eyes away from my chest and looking into my eyes. We wrapped our arms around each other once more, and the feeling of flesh on flesh was exquisite. Her nipples pressed into my chest, along with the soft fullness of her breasts. She was warm and wrapped around me and it was wonderful.

We spent hours in each other's arms that night, just feeling. We didn't go much further than that, but it was all we needed. We had each other, and we were happy.


	16. Chapter 16

_Alice_

"Bella!" I called out as I invaded her room. Edward was scowling at me as he laid next to her. Bella's hair was fanned out on his bare chest and he had wrapped the sheet around her as closely as possible. _It's not like I haven't seen it before, brother of mine._ I tapped my head. His modesty was really laughable considering I'd seen way more than a bit of bare chest on either of them.

Bella groaned and rolled over into Edward's chest, burying her face in embarrassment and trying to avoid me.

"It's time to get up sleepyhead. Today is Christmas Eve and there it so much to do. No more wasting time in bed Bella!" Edward growled in warning. "I've been waiting all night for you to wake up."

"Ok Alice." She mumbled.

Ignoring Edward's pointed glares and growls, I pulled out the outfit I'd chosen for this day and left the room with a smug smile.

"She knows?" Bella whispered to him.

"Everyone knows." I heard him reply and Bella groaned again, mortified. "Just be glad Emmett's not here."

I chuckled to myself. _Isn't that the truth. He'd be having a blast with this. _My mood suddenly turning somber. _I miss him. _Edward hummed in agreement.

Jasper looked up at me from where he was reading news on his laptop, a concerned look on his face. "Missing Emmett." I mouthed and he nodded.

Carlisle was on the couch with another laptop, checking up on our many accounts and email. Esme was finishing up Bella's breakfast in the kitchen, and I took my place at the sink, washing up the dishes as she finished. Bella made her way into the bathroom with her hair covering her face, which was bright red with embarrassment still.

She was taking longer than usual in the shower, and I mused that it had something to do with the time she and my brother spent amping up their frustrations last night. So, I started pulling out ingredients for the cookies we were going to bake today, when I noticed Jasper's body tense and his head snap up towards the bathroom. Everyone in the room paused, straining to hear what might be happening on the other side of the door, and Edward appeared next to the bathroom door instantly, the alarm and concern in our thoughts alerting him before anything else was known.

We could hear her accelerated heartbeat and her breathing was ragged as she sobbed as quietly as possible. Edward looked to me, silently asking if he should go in.

My eyes unfocused as I willed forth a glimpse of the immediate future, which he saw play out in my mind. _Just let her have this time to herself. _He sank down against the wall beside the bathroom door with his head in his hands.

"What did I do wrong?" He moaned. I immediately made my way to his side, putting an arm around him and knowing it would not comfort him much.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "You didn't do anything, son. As well as things seem to have been going lately, breakdowns like this are to be expected after all she's been through."

"The water is cold, but she's going to turn it off in a minute." Jasper moved silently to stoke the fire and add a couple more logs. "She's not going to have a very Merry Christmas." I murmured. Something had set her off and now she was consumed with guilt. What was supposed to have been a happy holiday for all of us, was now going to be everyone trying to pull her out of a depression.

We listened as she calmed herself down and turned off the water. The sound of cotton on skin wafted through the door as she dried herself off.

"What can we do for her Alice?" Esme asked.

"Just be there. Give her a little space, but don't ignore her. She'll still want to be a part of all this."

I tuned in to her future to make sure nothing was changing, but was just a little too late.

"Blood!" I yelled as I ripped the door open and the sounds of shattering glass burst from the tiny room. I deftly grabbed Bella by the wrists and crushed her to me. I had hoped that was enough warning to everyone to take whatever precautions they may need as the scent of her blood bloomed through the house. Edward was behind me, holding his breath, and swept her up in his arms as I wound the towel around her hands. I followed him as he took her to her bed, noticing Jasper had left and Esme was on the other side of the house. Carlisle was right behind me with towels and his bag.

Edward cradled her tiny body to him, pulling a blanket around her as much as possible, while leaving her arms free. She had smashed her fists into the ancient glass mirror in the bathroom. As it shattered, it gouged the flesh on the sides of her hands. Carlisle cleaned up the blood quickly and took stock of her injuries. The cuts were shallow, mostly scratches, so he just cleaned and bandaged them. The whole time she lay eerily still in my brothers arms as he kept his lips pressed into her hair near her ear, murmuring calming and comforting things.

"Bella?" Carlisle called her name softly. "Look at me, please, Bella." His tone a little more demanding when she didn't respond. She turned her head towards him and I couldn't help but notice that her normally chocolate brown irises were now just narrow rings around extremely dilated black pupils. Of course I expected her heart rate and breathing to be quick because of the pain, but she looked almost _excited._ Edward was listening to both mine and Carlisle's mental assessments and his brow furrowed as his jaw clenched.

"Bella, does it hurt?"

"No. I'm fine." Her reply was breathy.

Carlisle's forehead wrinkled and he turned his gaze to Edward in silent communication. Edward tilted his head as he heard what he had to say and gave him a slight nod. I just wanted to pull my hair out when they did things like this. The entire family always felt so out of the loop. Though I couldn't really complain, Edward and I had our own private conversations as well that frequently frustrated everyone else.

"We're going to talk about this later, Bella. Alice is going to help you get dressed, then you'll come out and eat some breakfast." Carlisle's voice was full of authority and she nodded numbly.

Edward reluctantly let her go and placed a kiss on her forehead. She was still eerily calm, especially considering she was naked.

_I'm sorry I didn't see it in time. _I apologized to Edward as he passed me and he spun around quickly, pulling me into an embrace. "No one blames you." He murmured.

He knew me too well, and probably because I was a lot like him. We all relied on my gift to stop things like this from happening, and when something slipped by, I felt guilty for not seeing it. Realistically, I knew I couldn't catch everything and split second decisions could change everything instantly. It did nothing to help assuage my guilt though when someone ended up hurt. Edward had felt this way all the time with Bella, taking the blame for even the smallest injury that he wasn't there to prevent. When something big happened, like James, or her birthday, he was unbearable to be around because of the depth of his self-loathing. I looked at my sister there on the bed and lamented how this all could have been prevented if he had just let the venom spread in Phoenix, or taken any of the other many opportunities he'd had to change her. But he refused and here we were. My sister was a broken shell of her former self, and while it was easy to pretend everything was going to be fine as she seemed to be handling things better than expected, it was moments likes these that reminded us just how fragile she really is. I couldn't help but consider going ahead and changing her so she could no longer hurt herself and heard a light growl from the other room. _Just thinking brother, don't get your panties in a bunch._

I picked up the clothes and helped Bella get dressed. She remained distant and withdrawn.

"Please Alice, I just want to be alone right now." She asked me, her voice sounding weary.

"Alright Bella, I'll just bring your breakfast in here." I gave her a quick hug, whispering that I loved her into her still wet hair.

Esme brings in her breakfast and we both join the family in the living room. Edward is visibly upset, and waiting impatiently for Carlisle to begin.

"That is sick." He spat. Everyone's eyes narrowed as they turned to him. "This is what I did to her." Edward groaned into his hands before lifting his head to look at me. "Did you _see_ the look on her face?" His head dropped back into his hands.

Carlisle sat down next to his son and matched his stance, resting his elbows on his knees. "Yes Edward, Bella is sick. Not in the way you meant it, but she does have some psychological issues. Her response to the pain is a normal physiological response."

Edwards eyes snapped up to Jasper who returned Edward's sneer with a shrug. "It's true. There are many groups of people out there who derive pleasure from pain. Sadomasochism is very real."

Carlisle nodded. "While you may not want to equate what happens to Bella with such things, it is essentially the same. You heard her when she explained to us how it made her feel, and why she continued to cut herself. You just watched it first hand, though I'm pretty sure she wasn't intending to cut herself. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt here that punching the mirror was simply an outlet for the emotions she was experiencing."

"She was in the throes of an emotional maelstrom in there." Jasper agreed. "In a fit of guilt and anger, she lashed out."

"Everything was so perfect last night." Edward lamented. Looking up at Carlisle, he continued. "What happened?"

"Unfortunately, episodes like this may occur at any time and we may never know what triggers them unless she knows and tells us. We could speculate, but it would not do any good."

"So what _do _we do?" His eyes were pleading with our father figure to give him something that would fix everything.

"We continue to support her. Give her some space and time and let her come to us. It's important not to treat her differently, Edward. I know you have a strong urge to protect her, but she will not deal with your hovering and kid gloves very well. You both have made some progress over the past week and you cannot go back to being the same overprotective mate you used to be. Let's just try to enjoy the holiday and keep her included. Respect her wishes and her feelings."

We all nodded. I hoped Edward would heed Carlisle's words. The last thing Bella needed was for him to become so overbearing again, treating her like the slightest breeze would fracture her. While she may still be fragile, she would not tolerate that and it would push them apart again. I was worried about how he would handle this now. There were still several outcomes for them, and too many decisions to be made. At the current moment I saw him either pulling away from her in disgust or completely overwhelming her by shadowing her every move, thinking she needed to be protected from herself. When one of us takes out our aggressions on a defenseless tree, it is acceptable. I can't even count how many times Edward has obliterated inanimate objects in anger or frustration. However, in his irrational mind, Bella striking out in a similar fashion was wrong, and he would do whatever it took to keep her from doing that again. Along with all that, my brother would delve back into a certain amount of self-loathing because his actions led to her behavior in the first place.

So, here we were, back to a balancing act between the two of them, hoping for the best.

Jasper spoke next, as if he had read my mind. "Edward, she was not trying to hurt herself. You have to keep it together. It's no different than one of us punching a tree or shattering a boulder. She lashed out and because she is human, she got hurt. You cannot go backwards now. I know you are feeling disgusted with her and yourself right now, but it's not going to help anything. If you pull away from her now, it will only get worse. She needs you to be there for her, unconditionally."

"You make her feel that way too, brother." I spoke quietly, knowing his discomfort with any intimate topics, but it had to be said. "Think back to last night and you'll see she had the same reaction to you."

His face contorted in confusion. "What is that supposed to mean? What I do to her is equivalent to pain?"

"No. What I am saying is that she hasn't tried to hurt herself since she's been with us again. After you left, she tried to fill the emptiness that crippled her, but with you by her side, she doesn't need that. What happened today was an accident, but her body responded as it usually does. The release of chemicals and hormones is similar for both pain and pleasure. The pain from a small cut gives the body a rush, not unlike a high from recreational drugs."

"I know that." He mumbled. "But it's _Bella_."

I understood. While he can accept the clinical explanation, when it applies to the one person he loves more than anything else in the world, it was different. It was harder to accept. All his instincts screamed at him to protect his mate, and seeing her body respond to pain with pleasure was very difficult, especially considering his old-fashioned morals.

"She'll be fine. Just be there for her. Don't pull away." I glared at him, knowing him all too well. He nodded in assent. "Esme, you should go in and check on her. See if you can persuade her to come bake cookies." Keeping Bella busy today would help her move on from this momentary setback, as long as Edward didn't do anything stupid. It was so hard to understand their relationship, because everything was so easy between me and Jasper. Bella and Edward always assumed too much, read too much in each other's words, and second guessed everything they did or said. Neither one of them seemed to have enough self-confidence to allow them to just enjoy each other's love. Instead they ended up working against themselves because they assumed the other was too good for them. If they would both just let go of all these pretenses and enjoy each other, things would have gone so much more smoothly. Their relationship was so much work, it even exhausted me. Edward always cursed my meddling, but if it hadn't been for me, they would never have been together in the first place. My brother may say that is how it should have been, but he would never have experienced the pure joy of true love.

Eventually, Esme managed to coax Bella from her room and she looked like she was in a better frame of mind. She looked over to Edward expectantly, but when he only acknowledged her with a smile, her face fell and she continued towards the kitchen area with Esme. _Go to her you idiot!_ He ran his hands through his hair nervously and jumped up, closing the distance between them instantly. Wrapping his arms around her waist he buried his face into the side of her neck. "Love you." He murmured, and I could see the side of her cheek lift up in a smile. _For a centenarian you certainly are clueless. How many times do I have to tell you that she needs you right now before you listen to me? Especially after you two finally do more than kiss chastely, you cannot pull away from her after that. _

He let out a low rumbling growl to let me know he'd heard enough and Jasper jumped up to grab my arm and escort me out of the cabin. I really wanted to tackle the masochistic jerk for being so obtuse.

"Calm down baby." Jasper purred into my ear, letting his presence and gift seep through the household.

"Sometimes I don't know what he is thinking, or even _if_ he's thinking. Did we not just tell him multiple times she needed him and then he goes all moody and barely acknowledges her when she finally comes out of her room. What part of our conversation did he not understand?"

"Shh. I know, I know. He's always been like that though."

"He has entirely too much power over her and he needs to realize how to deal with that before he does something he can't take back. One little rejection from him and her self-worth plummets."

"I know Alice. He'll figure it out. She's never felt worthy of him, or us, and the smallest things make it that much worse. That's why we're going to help her gain more self-confidence so she doesn't take his asshole tendencies so personally."

I sighed, leaning back against him. "Sorry." I mumbled.

"Don't apologize to me. I know how frustrating he can be. It's not like you can just forget everything he's done. Everyone still has quite a lot of animosity towards him. It's not just you."

"I still can't comprehend what he was thinking. Even after I told him nothing good would come from this. Why would he ever voluntarily give up what they had?"

"Well he had a little help making that decision." My mate's shoulders sagged with the guilt he would forever shoulder.

"You wouldn't have killed her, Jasper. Besides, I should have seen it."

He let out a sharp bark of a laugh. "Aren't we a pair?"

I couldn't help but snicker a little. "Yeah. No matter how many times we talk about this, we still blame ourselves." I sighed and turned to face him, placing gentle kisses on his full lips. He smiled and tightened his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against his lean frame.

"This little wilderness adventure isn't as fun as I thought it would be." I pouted.

I don't think we were thinking clearly when we chose this location in the middle of winter. It would be months before we could begin construction on the new house. As vampires, the cold and snow didn't really deter us, but the humans would notice a house going up in the midst of winter. We had to take a boat over to the mainland in order to hunt, and there was not much in the way of shopping for a distraction. On top of all that, the six of us were trying to live in a tiny cabin where we were acutely aware of even the tiniest movement or noise. It was easier to pretend or try to block it out in a larger house, but this was like we were all living in the same room.

More than likely, it was just me. I'm fairly certain most of the remaining members of the family saw this as a little vacation, but it simply was not the type of thing I enjoyed. If anyone else might have been sympathetic to my feelings on the matter, it would be Edward. He was never the outdoorsy type either, much preferring the culture and comfort offered in larger cities. However, he was happy to be wherever Bella was and focused most of his time on simply being with her, even watching her as she slept. You would think he'd get up and do something else, but apparently all he wanted was to hold her as she slept. Now it was even more important to him as her nights of sleep were numbered. I wondered what they would do all night once she was changed.

"I know this isn't your thing baby. It's just a for a little while. We'll have a place more to your liking in the spring and you'll be so busy with details and decorating that you won't have time even for me. Though I'm starting to wonder about having a newborn here. It sounded like a good idea at first, but once we got here, the logistics and limitations were more apparent. Maybe we'll see about discussing things further and securing a place on the mainland that is much more remote for Bella's first year."

"Bella is going to surprise us all actually." I told him. He arched one perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me and I wanted to lick it. This vampire drove me crazy. It should have been impossible to still be this attracted to him after fifty years together, but one look could bring me to my knees.

"What have you seen, Alice?" He asked in his sweet-as-honey voice. His face morphing into a predatory grin.

It was my turn to arch an eyebrow in his direction. "Wouldn't you like to know?" I winked. He coiled and sprang a couple hundred feet through the snow with me cradled in his arms, twisting so that when we landed, he was above me.

"Oh I'll get it out of you." He lowered his mouth to mine and began his quest to seduce my secrets out of me. It seldom worked, but he had fun trying.


	17. Chapter 17

_Edward_

_O' Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining_

_It is the night, of our dear Saviour's birth_...

Carlisle's smooth baritone voice sang as I played the keyboard Bella bought. It was reminiscent of past holidays, though we all were missing those who couldn't be with us. We would spend the evening around the fire listening to carols and singing along. We'd pull out the cards and play all night. This year was different because Bella was here and Esme had spent a large part of the day cooking up more food than she could eat in a week. They had a plan to freeze the excess, and they seemed to have fun working in the kitchen together, so no one complained.

Bella had been in a melancholy mood all day, which was to be expected. Jasper kidnapped her for a couple hours earlier, wanting to discuss what happened this morning. The rest of us usually left the cabin whenever Bella had a _session_ with Jasper or Carlisle, but today she wanted to get some fresh air. He'd built a small sleigh, and instead of horses, one of us would pull it. We had taken the girls out one night to watch the aurora borealis, with Bella bundled up and buried under piles of blankets. Jasper had pulled it out again today, taking her around the island as they talked. When they returned, her cheeks were flushed from the cold, and her eyes held a hint of excitement as Jasper had really run for the last part of their journey back to the cabin. She was radiant. If only I hadn't broken her.

I saw some of their conversation in Jasper's thoughts. She missed her family and the realization had set in that she would never spend another Christmas with Charlie or Renee again. That was the main reason behind her outburst this morning. We'd encouraged her to introduce us to some of her traditions, but surprisingly, they didn't have many. Renee had different ideas every year about what the holiday should be, and the rare Christmas with Charlie was unremarkable. The one thing she requested was a slice of chocolate cake for breakfast on Christmas morning, like she had shared with Charlie whenever possible. Also, Bella wished she had the stocking her grandmother made her when she was a baby. This was her first year without it. Alice was going to try to get it at some point, as she had seen that Renee would never go looking for it.

I watched Bella as she mouthed along to the words Carlisle was singing. She was watching Alice and Jasper playing cards in front of the fire. Esme was curled up into Carlisle's side, a warm smile on her face as she listened to the music. There were plates of three different kinds of cookies on the table between the couches, and a long forgotten glass of eggnog Alice had insisted on. Bella didn't like it, so Esme kept her supplied with hot spiced cider.

Carlisle had cornered me today as well, wanting to discuss Bella's incident this morning. He wanted to make sure I wasn't letting the guilt cloud over everything else, because he knew how I was, and how I would push her away when I felt that way. I'd managed to swallow it for the most part and focus my attentions on Bella. He tells me I can't blame myself forever, but I know I always will. The difference is that I can't let it consume me. I still needed to be the Edward she needed. This was no time to be selfish and wallow in things that can't be changed. Focusing on what we will have together for eternity is the only way to make this work.

_Play Grandma, Edward. _Jasper grinned mischievously. He wanted to lighten things up a little, and secretly I knew he loved the stupid song.

I started playing the choppy chords and a smile played on everyone's lips has they heard the start of the song. Jasper tossed down his hand of cards and sat back with his arm propped on one knee.

_Grandma got run over by a reindeer_

_Walking home from our house Christmas eve..._

He sang with an exaggerated drawl, tapping his foot in time with the music. Alice sang along, and joined Bella on the couch. When it came time for the chorus, the rest of us joined in. A few more verses and the room was filled with joy as Jasper absorbed and broadcast emotions through the room.

_Play mine next!_ Alice was bouncing on the couch and I groaned, but started in with the beginning notes to her favorite song. She got up and pranced over to Jasper's lap.

_Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me_

_Been an awful good girl_

_Santa baby so hurry down the chimney tonight_

Alice, being Alice, sang the song, complete with a pouty whine and suggestive gestures.

_Santa baby, a '54 convertible too, light blue, _

_I'll wait up for you dear_

_Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight_

_Think of all the fun I've missed,_

_Think of all the fellows that I haven't kissed_

_Next year I could be just as good_

_If you check off my Christmas list_

Bella blushed furiously and rolled her eyes at Alice's antics as she basically gave Jasper a lap dance. The music helped keep the atmosphere light and everyone seemed to be having a good time.

I played through several more songs that I knew my family enjoyed. Bella was visibly moved by the beauty of their voices as they sang along. She would move her lips to the words, but never joined in.

"Bella, is there anything you'd like to hear?" Carlisle asked, wanting to involve her in the celebration.

She shook her head. "I think you've played most of my favorites already."

There was a song I wanted to play for her before we finished for the night. "Bella, come here." I motioned for her to join me and got up so she could sit on the stool. I leaned down, with my arms reaching around her so I could still play.

_Take back the holly and mistletoe_

_Silver bells on string_

_If I wrote a letter to Santa Claus_

_I would ask for just one thing_

Carlisle and Esme smiled knowingly at each other and he glanced up briefly to make eye contact with me, nodding in approval. I leaned down and sang the rest of the lyrics softly into her ear, sending a shiver down her spine as my cool breath caressed her sensitive flesh.

_I don't need sleigh rides in the snow_

_Don't want a Christmas that's blue_

_Take back the tinsel, stockings, and bows_

_'Cuz all I want for Christmas is you_

_I don't need expensive things_

_They don't matter to me_

_All that I want, can't be found_

_Underneath the Christmas tree_

_You are the angel atop my tree_

_You are my dream come true_

_Santa can't bring me what I need_

_'Cuz all I want for Christmas is you_

The other couples had joined in, singing quietly to each other, but it barely registered as I poured my love into the words of the song. I remembered all the years I'd played this for the three mated pairs that made up my family, feeling bitter that I was alone and not knowing if I'd ever have someone to share this life with. With Bella's soft form between my arms, I now knew how precious love is and could never again begrudge my family their affections for each other. For the first time in my existence, I understood. I didn't need anything else in the world, as long as Bella was by my side. There was no longer a part of me missing, I was now complete. There was no way I would ever let her go again, and I just hoped she felt the same way.

As I finished the song and pulled back, Bella spun around. I had already smelled the salt of her tears, but now I could see her eyes glimmering and full of deep emotions that I knew all too well. "You're all I need." She whispered, before closing the few inches between us and kissing me tentatively. I wrapped my hands into her hair and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss as the cabin and our family melted away. Jasper cleared his throat, causing us to pull apart sheepishly, and Alice elbowed him in the ribs for interrupting us. They both apologized silently, as Carlisle and Esme chuckled.

I gently grasped her elbow and pulled her off of the stool, taking my seat once more, but letting her know I wanted her to stay. This was going to be the last song of the evening since I'd rather sit next to Bella, than to be stuck behind the keyboard.

_Here we come a wassailing_

_Among the leaves so green, _

_Here we come a wandering_

_So fair to be seen._

_Love and joy come to you,_

_And to you your wassail too._

_And God bless you and send you a happy New Year._

_And God send you a happy New Year._

Everyone hugged each other at the close of the song with well wishes, except for an awkward pause when Bella faced Jasper. _May I? _He asked, glancing out of the corner of his eye at me and I nodded. Alice prodded him forward. Bella smiled warmly at him and waited patiently to see what he would do. He stiffly stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her shoulders lightly, trying not to lean in too closely. Then his body relaxed as he realized he was not tempted by her blood, and he tightened his embrace, giving her a real hug. He pulled back and gave her a sheepish smile, and she reached out to squeeze his hand in reassurance. The tension in the room was erased and Carlisle clapped his hands loudly.

"Ok, time for the Yule log." He announced. Everyone, except Alice, looked at him in confusion. We were familiar with the tradition, but the remains of our log from last year was still packed up in storage. His eyes crinkled slightly at the corners as he smiled widely and explained. "We'll use the stump we removed from this tree this year. Next Christmas, we'll use both the old one and this one to light the new one." Bella's brow was still furrowed in confusion and he turned to her, explaining the history of the Yule log and what it meant to us. Each Christmas, we'd all written down mistakes or misdeeds from the year and burned the paper in the fire of the Yule log, symbolically giving us a clean slate for the new year.

I wished I could remember if my mother and father ever burned a Yule log, but my memories of my human life were too hazy. I did remember the first Yule log we had. It was just the three of us – Carlisle, Esme, and myself – and we were living as a family. My role was Esme's brother at the time, instead of a son. Carlisle was a prominent doctor in Rochester, and society dictated that we receive visitors over the holiday. Making sure that we put on the full show, Esme had researched everything she could, in order to put on the perfect Christmas scene, which included a Yule log. We liked the concept and continued the tradition in the years to come. The purging of bad deeds and mistakes was particularly appealing, as well as the continuity of starting the fire from the remains of the previous year's log. The piece of burnt wood we had stored away could be traced back seventy years.

Carlisle grabbed a stack of paper and some pens, while Jasper and I went outside to retrieve the stump of the tree.

_She's doing better already._

I nodded. He stopped and stood in front of me.

"I just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am, Edward. I hope some day you can forgive me. If it weren't for me, none of this would have happened."

I'd heard his apologies many times, but I understood now that he needed my forgiveness in order to forgive himself. Not once had I come right out and blamed him for anything, but he knew what I was feeling and knew that part of me did blame him for attacking my mate. But it was my fault she was ever placed in that position. Human and vampire were not meant to be friends or lovers. What happened was not due to his weakness, it was because of my own weakness. I should have stayed away from her in the first place. Jasper was watching me intently, taking in the many emotions passing through me.

I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Jasper, my brother, I do forgive you. I know I haven't said it before, and I apologize for that. It was not your fault and I shouldn't have allowed myself to place any of the blame on you. I knew what bringing Bella into our world meant. It could have been any of us, well any of us except for Carlisle. I was barely managing my own control. I've not confessed that to anyone until now. The way I reacted was inexcusable and I hurt everyone with my actions, not fully thinking everything through. I see now that running away solved nothing." I looked him steadily in the eye. "I am sorry for not apologizing to you sooner Jasper."

He nodded and embraced me briefly. "Thank you, brother." He murmured.

We returned to the task at hand in silence, carrying the stump inside to the fireplace. The rest of the family was scattered through the cabin with sheets of paper, writing their lists.

"Just leave it on the hearth. There is paper over here for you two." Carlisle looked at me pointedly as he folded up the sheets of paper with his elegant scrawl covering both backs and front. Flashes from the past year flickered through his mind as he thought over what he had written. I tried to focus on Bella in order to give them all their privacy. That was the one thing that made me grateful for her silent mind. If I concentrated on her hard enough, then I could effectively block out everyone else.

_Thank you for forgiving your brother, Edward, he needed to hear that. _Esme looked up at me, venom shimmering in her eyes with tears that would never fall. In her mind, everything had been so perfect, with her first son finally finding love and Bella really completing the family. Watching everything be torn apart had been difficult for her. While the family was still not whole, the fractures were being mended and she was ecstatic to have Bella with us permanently. Of course the circumstances were less than desirable, but she had faith that in the end the sacrifices made would be well worth it.

Alice finished with her writing, and quickly approached me for a tight embrace. _Thank you. You don't know how much that means to us._

Once again the pain I had caused my family was evidenced by their gratitude that I'd forgiven my brother for something that was not his fault. I'd made such a royal mess of things and could only hope I'd be able to make all this up to each one of them at some point. Jasper's hand was already a blur as he began writing out his grievances, and I took a seat across from Bella at the coffee table to begin me. She glanced up at me through her dark lashes, her lips curved into a small smile. "I love you." I mouthed silently to her, as I rested my leg against hers under the table, nudging her gently.

Her smile grew wider. "I love you too." She said, knowing there would be no point in whispering, as everyone would still have heard her. She bit her lip and returned to her list.

A lot had happened in the past year, too many mistakes, so much that a clean slate was impossible. To think that writing everything down and burning it would ease any of my guilt was ridiculous.

My hand flew across the paper, the pen scratching the misdeeds I'd committed into mere words etched on paper. There was no relief in spelling them out. I could have written them in ten different languages, a thousand times each and there would be no relief. The gesture was merely symbolic.

_Edward, you have to forgive yourself as well._ I felt Jasper's eyes on me as he addressed me. _You can't move forward until you reconcile with the past. You cannot do anything to change what has already occurred, and dwelling on it will only make things worse. Please, brother, accept the gift you have been given and spend every day of the rest of eternity cherishing her. No more of this self-loathing._

Yes, yes, logically I know this. It's much harder to actually do. Jasper knew from personal experience that it was difficult to completely let go of the guilt. A hundred and fifty years later and he still harbored guilt for the things he'd been a part of in the south. While he may not let it rule his life, he did still think of it quite frequently. A hundred years from now, I would still remember what I had done to this beautiful woman across from me. Only her happiness would ease the guilt and pain. In a hundred years I hoped she was still happily by my side. I couldn't bear to think of the alternatives.

My head snapped up as Alice's phone vibrated on the table. In a fraction of a second she had flipped it open and handed it to Bella. "It's for you." _Rosalie. Let them speak. She is calling to apologize._

I narrowed my eyes and growled softly at Alice for putting Bella blindly into that situation.

_Oh knock it off. If I had told her about it she would have refused to talk to her and nothing would have changed. At least Rose is making an effort. It's Christmas and they are still our family._ She chastised me.

Bella's momentary shock and confusion had worn off and she was lifting the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" She greeted the caller timidly.

"_Bella. It's Rosalie." _The whole family now aware of the caller's identity and curious as to Alice's intentions.

"Hi Rosalie." Bella replied, her eyes wildly flicking between me and Alice, silently asking us what she should say.

"_Listen, I know you're probably confused as to why I'm calling you. I just needed to say a few things."_ We heard her sigh through the phone. _"I needed to apologize for the way I've treated you, Bella. It was unfair of me to be so rude to you when you've brought my family a lot of happiness, especially my brother."_

"I...I..." Bella stuttered, surprised by Rosalie's change of heart.

"_You don't have to say anything, Bella. Please, just let me get this out. I am fiercely protective of my family, and I was worried that you would ruin everything. Edward couldn't read your mind and you were a human who figured out what we were. I never approved of him, or Alice, even speaking to you because you were an unknown. I couldn't be certain you could be trusted." _Rose paused to take a deep breath._ "But I've seen how my brother has changed since he found you...how our whole family has changed for the better...and I can't be bitter about it any longer. It's not fair to anyone for me to continue to harbor this resentment. I know it's probably too late for this, but I do trust you and I know you would never do anything to hurt my family. I'm sorry that you no longer have a choice, and I want you to know that I will try to be there for you in future."_

The entire family had huge grins plastered on their faces, and Esme's fist was clenched at her mouth, holding back sobs of relief.

Bella's expression was one of disbelief and I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. "Um..thank you Rosalie. I've always hoped we could put our differences aside and maybe be friends someday."

"_I hope so too, Bella. I would have liked to have waited and told you in person, but it's something I felt needed to be said sooner than later. We won't be home until it's time to start building the new home, because there's just not enough room at the cabin. I didn't want you to go on any longer thinking we were avoiding the family because of you. I know how you tend to blame yourself for everything. Emmett and I are going to spend some time traveling, but we'll see you in a couple of months. Again, I apologize for my behavior, Bella, and I hope you have a Merry Christmas."_

"Merry Christmas to you too. And...thank you. You don't know how much that means to me." Bella spoke softly, her voice full of emotion.

"_I think I know you better than you think, Isabella Swan. Take care of my brother, and my family."_

"I will." She promised breathlessly.

Alice squealed and grabbed the phone from Bella, her voice buzzing at vampire speed as she exchanged updates and holiday wishes with her sister. The phone was passed around and everyone spoke with Emmett and Rose. I couldn't help but watch as Bella sat back, dazed, as a grin spread across her face. Her shimmered with unshed tears and I could tell how much that phone call had meant to her. Jasper sat back with a satisfied smirk as he took it all in. There was no doubt in anyone's minds that Bella blamed herself for the family splintering. It was no secret that Rose hated the human girl who had infiltrated her family. Whatever our brother had done to help this change of heart along was nothing short of a miracle. Now our family could really start to heal and put the pieces back together. Esme was overjoyed at the turn of events and while she missed the wayward couple, Rose's acceptance of Bella was probably the best Christmas gift any of us could have hoped for.

After everyone else had spoken to them, Carlisle handed Alice's phone to me.

"_Merry Christmas Eddie." _Emmett's voice boomed over the tiny device.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Em." I allowed the nickname in the spirit of the holiday.

"_You better be taking good care of Bella. She never deserved any of this, but at least things are looking up now. We just want you two to be happy."_

"Of course, Em." I replied. "It's not the same without you two here."

"_Don't I know it. You are all probably bored out of your minds without me around to entertain you." _He snickered. _"Seriously though, we miss you, and we'll see you in a couple months. We'll have to make up for lost time when I get back, so you better be ready little brother." _

"I can't wait _little_ brother." I sneered back at him. He was younger than me both in human and vampire years. There was some rustling on the other end and then Rose came on the line.

"_Edward?"_

"Merry Christmas Rose."

"_Merry Christmas to you too. I know you've heard everything I've already said tonight, but I wanted to apologize to you as well. I know it was especially hard on you to have to put up with my attitude towards Bella, considering you could hear every thought that crossed through my mind. And I know you can't help it. I shouldn't have antagonized you like I did."_ She paused and when she spoke again her voice was much more subdued. _"I just want you to be happy, Edward. She completes you, and now that you've found her again, I hope you never let her go. I am so ashamed of the way I behaved in Alaska. When my family needed me, I abandoned them. I'm sorry for everything I've done, and I hope you can forgive me one day."_

"Of course, Rose. I understood your reservations, and I appreciate the effort you are making now to rectify things."

"_Well, I have a lot to make up for, but it's a start. I'm such a hypocrite, Edward. I've cursed you for doing the same things I did. I fell in love with a human and I damned him to this life without giving him a choice. As much as I resent being forced into this existence, I'm guilty of the same thing. I wouldn't change it for the world though, because I have Em. At least Bella had a choice and knew what she was getting into. The whole time I was so focused on what she was giving up, that I ignored what she would gain. We have a wonderful family, and if you can pull your head out of your ass, you two are going to be as happy as the rest of us. You both deserve that and I'm sorry for being so selfish as to want to keep you from that. I have a lot more to say, but like I said, it's a start. You take care of that girl, she'd give you the world if she could, and I know you feel the same. Bye, Edward."_

"Thanks again, Rose. We'll definitely take some time to talk when you come home. You two take care of each other and have a Merry Christmas...Bye." I flipped the phone shut and the room was filled with joy and contentment.

In the many decades we'd spent with Rosalie, I don't think anyone ever truly expected her to change. We all knew of her fierce loyalty to the family, but she'd never spoken so selflessly before. She had an apology for each of us, and you could see both Esme and Carlisle swell with pride at the change in their daughter's temperament. I couldn't help but be wary of what things would be like when we were all face to face once more, but I hoped this was a glimpse of what was to come.

Carlisle approached the fireplace and moved the Yule log from the hearth to the fire. He watched as the bark began to catch the flames. After spending a few minutes in silent prayer, he tossed his list into the fire and watched it turn to ash. Esme joined him, wrapping her arms around his waist and adding her paper to the fire. Jasper and Alice approached next and after their lists shot up in flames, they turned to each other and shared a silent moment together. Their solidarity was something I admired. Their love was so intense, that it was palpable, and not just because of Jasper's gift.

I stood and held out my hand to Bella, silently asking her if she would join me. Her warm hand slipped into mine and we approached the fire as it began to really roar. We flung our folded up papers into the flames and watched them blacken and turn to ash. I turned to Bella and pulled her to me, desperately needing to feel close to her. Everything I'd done in the past year came flooding back to me and even though I couldn't avoid all the shame and guilt, I was reminded that this beautiful creature in my arms made it all worth it. She was my reason for existing and I vowed to never hurt her again. For as long as she wished it, I would remain by her side, and as long as she was by my side, I could overcome the guilt and love her like she deserved to be loved. After everything we'd been through, we deserved to be happy. I gently pressed my lips to her forehead, my nose buried in her hair as I inhaled her essence.

"I love you Isabella Marie Swan. Forever." I murmured as I tightened my embrace.

"And I love you. Always." Her tiny fingers desperately tried to find purchase in the granite flesh of my back, as if she was afraid I would slip away. _Never again, my Bella. My only love. _

"I am yours." I whispered, and I felt her body relax into mine, her hot breath on my chest. I pulled her back to the couch and she curled into my side, content for the moment.

We all played a few rounds of cards, and it was getting late. Bella was stifling yawns and her lids were heavy with sleep. She had wanted to stay up until midnight when Carlisle would read from Luke, and Alice would sing Ave Maria, but she didn't look like she would make it.

"Why don't you go lie down, love, and I'll wake you up when Carlisle is ready to start?"

"Come with me?" She asked, her eyes pleading.

"Of course." _I'll follow you anywhere._


	18. Chapter 18

"Oh yes...Edward...yes!" I watched as Bella came undone beside me, my hands playing her body like a piano. Her delicious arousal swirled through the air, making me heady with desire. Her writhing and moaning made parts of me come alive that I'd never known existed. I was obsessed with pleasuring her. Continuing to pump two fingers inside of her, while my thumb circled her clit, I curled them slightly to hit that spot that always sent her spiraling into oblivion. Her walls clenched around my fingers and her slick juices coated my hand. Her nipples hardened impossibly more and her entire body bloomed with the delicate pink blush I found so endearing on her cheeks. The first time I realized it spread through her whole body, I decided to make it my mission to have her naked as much as possible. I continued at a slower pace until her body relaxed and then removed my hand from her overheated folds. She curled into my side and I ran my hand over her side and hip as she struggled to calm her breathing.

Bella ran her hand lightly over the flannel fabric covering my straining erection and it twitched at her touch, making me groan. She looked up at me through her thick, dark lashes, silently asking permission and I nodded. I'd never expected to have any kind of sexual intimacy with her until she was changed, but we'd found there were a few things we could do to relieve our sexual tension that were safe enough. And we thoroughly enjoyed practicing those few things. Her warm hand slipped inside my pajama pants and grasped my shaft. After slowly pumping her hand a couple times, she pulled her hand away and slid my pants down my hips. Once I was laid out nude before her, she took a few moments to rake her eyes over my body before bending down to caress, kiss, and nip anywhere she could reach. Her hand found my shaft again and she laid her head on my stomach, her mahogany curls spilling over my chest. My entire body felt warm as she began to stroke me, her hand so small that her fingers did not even meet around the girth of my shaft. Every so often her thumb would sweep out to wipe away the moisture gathering at the slit, helping to lubricate her ministrations. It didn't take long before the now familiar coil began to tighten in my gut, the heat growing stronger and radiating through my torso and limbs. As I began to tremble with the beginnings of my release, bucking my hips into her hand, Bella moved away until only her hand remained. It was a safety precaution that she not be too close to me as I came. She raked her nails down my thigh as her pace quickened and every muscle in my body tensed impossibly tighter before I exploded in ecstasy.

When I opened my eyes, the breathtaking grin on her face almost made my heart stutter to life. I'd never known how much physical intimacy could add to our relationship, and how much confidence that alone would give her. Bella grabbed the towel next to the bed and wiped up the mess we'd made, before curling up beside me again. I tilted her face up so that I could kiss her.

"Love you."

"Love you too." She murmured.

The rest of the family had left us alone on the island. Bella was uncomfortable doing anything more than kissing, knowing there were four other sets of ears that would hear, and smell, exactly what we were doing. Eventually, she would learn to get over her inhibitions, but this was still new territory for her and the family truly didn't mind. They'd seen the changes in her once I stopped turning down her advances. They were honestly happy for both of us.

Eventually, Bella rolled over and picked up a book she was reading. I opened the shades and the room flooded with sunlight. Turning back to Bella, I paused and drank in the sight of the sun playing over her curves. My own skin threw a few scattered rainbows over the room. We would spend a good part of the day lounging on the bed in the nude, content to bask in each other's company and the sunlight. The family would be back this evening with a boat full of supplies and groceries.

The past three months had not come without difficulties. Everyone had been tense and irritable, a by-product of being forced to live in such cramped quarters during the winter season. Alice and Esme were visibly twitching in their own skin to get to a big city. Jasper and Carlisle enjoyed the solitude, but even they picked up on the cabin fever. Being an empath, of course Jasper literally absorbed whatever the rest of the family was feeling, and Carlisle wasn't used to spending this much time idle. He preferred to be productive, and had grown weary of reading away the days this winter. Bella had been grumpy, but compared to the others, it seemed to bother her less. Part of that I chalked up to the fact that she got to sleep for eight hours every day, but even in Forks, she'd never been a social person. This was the kind of thing she always enjoyed – spending time with family and reading – the complete opposite of Alice. We worked hard to keep her occupied, and in turn, that kept us somewhat busy as well.

Carlisle enrolled her in an online program so she could finish her high school education. She devoted a few hours each day to her schoolwork and had a house full of overeducated vampires to help tutor her if she ever needed any help. Bella definitely preferred online courses to actual high school, often citing that the only good thing to come of her high school career was me. She continued to write in her journals, and had also taken to writing stories. Eventually, she thought she might work on an actual novel, but currently had no definite ideas for a plot. Alice and Esme had taught her to knit, and often the three of them would sit in front of the fire in the evening working on small projects they could donate to shelters and hospitals. Alice enjoyed shopping of course, and searching out unique yarns gave her a reason to do so without accumulating more goods.

Bella had recovered physically from her ordeal and her body had changed and matured quite a bit in the short time we'd been here. Carlisle's attention to her health had a lot to do with that. Cooking had become something special that Esme and Bella shared, and she was back up to a healthy weight. She spent two hours each day doing aerobics and yoga in the living room. I could watch her body bend and twist like that all day. Sometimes Alice or Esme joined her, though it would have no effect on their unchanging physique. They did to keep her company and to give themselves something to do.

All of this combined with the _therapy_ from Carlisle and Jasper had given rise to a new, more confident Bella. She was more self-aware, and communication between the two of us had never been better. I learned to be completely open and honest instead of trying to protect her by keeping things from her. It is still difficult sometimes, because she is my mate, the love of my life, of course I want to protect her. But she is also her own person who needs to make her own decisions.

I watched her as she flipped another page in her book, her hand going back to the necklace I'd given her for Christmas. She never took it off, and that meant the world to me. I knew she wasn't one for jewelry, but when I saw this locally handcrafted piece, I knew it was perfect for Bella. A single piece of topaz, wrapped in heavy gauge jewelry wire, hung from a simple silver chain. I had been nervous about her reaction, but she actually cried and kissed me passionately. Jasper had bought Alice a similar piece, with jasper, of course, as the stone, and when Esme opened a ring from Carlisle by the same artist, we all erupted with laughter.

The joy was short lived when Bella opened my other present though. Apparently, a European vacation was too much, and she stormed out of the room in angry tears. She has since come around, with some persuasion from Esme and Alice. They convinced her the beautiful beaches and mouthwatering food were a once in a _human_ lifetime experience. Carlisle explained she had to do this now before she sparkled in the sun and had no use for human food. Bella threw back that none of us would be able to join her on those sunny beaches, and she was right of course. I had imagined Bella spending her days reading as she laid on the beaches of Greece and Southern France, and then I'd join her for dinner and an evening on the town. I explained to her that we could still visit the beach together at night, and I had chartered a private yacht for part of the trip as well, so we could all spend time together sparkling out on the secluded ocean and swimming in the sea. It took some convincing, but she finally admitted, furiously blushing, that it was on her list of things she would like to do while still human. The fact that England and Ireland were on the list had a lot to do with her acceptance, since both countries were rich with literary history and because of the cloud cover, we'd be able to spend more time out during the day together.

Carmen and Eleazar had arrived at the end of January and rented a cozy little cottage on the main island. There certainly was not enough room in our cabin for another couple, and we enjoyed having someplace else we could congregate. Esme and Alice threw themselves into helping Carmen decorate the place in order to pass the time until the new house was built. Bella tried to participate, but quickly found herself overwhelmed by the other vampires' knowledge and speed. Carmen and Bella had quickly grown fond of each other. They could often be found pouring over books in the local bookstores, or chatting at a coffee shop. I was happy Bella had found a friend in Carmen. Since it made more sense for the five of us to boat over to the mainland to hunt together, it was nice that Bella had a place to go while we were gone. We would not hear of her staying on our island alone, and because she looked forward to spending time with Carmen, she was receptive to the idea and we avoided any arguments about me being overprotective about it.

Things had settled into a predictable rhythm and everyone was anticipating the arrival of Rosalie and Emmett in a few weeks, and then the inevitable building of the new house. Preparations were beginning to ramp up, and supplies had started arriving on the island. Bella was not convinced we could build an entire house by ourselves in a week, and I couldn't wait to see the look of surprise on her face as she watched the progress. Some things just aren't comprehensible to the human brain. Esme had designed a stunning lodge that would blend into the landscape of the island perfectly. Any trees we had to clear would be used in the construction, and it would be as earth friendly as possible. It was easier for us, as vampires, because we had no need for air conditioning, heating, or cooking, though the systems would be in place just in case. Solar energy would be the main source of power, so the only real utilities we needed to worry about were water and sewage. The only waste we would be outputting was gray water from our washing machine and shower, and that could run off onto the island itself. We would use a compost toilet system, though Bella would likely be the only person to ever use it, and only for a few months. A well had been dug for the old cabin, but the new house would use a combination of a cistern and desalination system. We'd be using mostly all recycled or sustainable materials. It was fascinating how many advances had been made since the last time we built a house, and the entire family had been involved in the research and choices, even Bella. She had daydreamed briefly about having chickens and goats and a vegetable garden, but was quickly reminded she'd have no reason for any of that soon.

The biggest decision in the new home had been whether or not Bella and I would be sharing a suite. We'd had an intense joint counseling session with both Jasper and Carlisle when it came up. Bella and I had reconciled and it just made sense for us to share a suite considering we both thought of ourselves as a mated pair. There would never be anyone else for either of us. However, Bella was an only child and had never shared a living space with a sibling or roommate, let alone a partner, lover, mate – whatever term fit us. It was fairly easy to decide that our space would be divided between a bedroom and a study, with an en suite bathroom and shared closet. That was the typical setup every other couple in the family employed, and we were sure we could make it work, as long as we had ample room to store our combined collections of books and music. Which meant most of the room would be ringed with floor to ceiling bookshelves. Bella also requested we have a place for the keyboard in our room, though I had plans of adding an upright piano instead. The sound just did not compare. I missed feeling the vibrations from the piano. It had been fun to work on our suite together, usually I left all the details up to Alice and Esme. Having someone to share it with, made all this a completely different experience. Bella had taken my preferences into consideration, and chosen a stunning dark blue and steel gray color scheme for the bedroom. The bathroom was much like everyone else's with a tub large enough for both of us and a separate shower that neither one of us could wait to experience. I was surprised that Bella didn't insist on something simple, but she was more than happy to indulge herself when it came to this part of the room. The idea of multiple body jets and Bella in the shower together had my mind working overdrive.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from the beautiful nude goddess laying on the bed next to me. Every so often her muscles would twitch and a small, yet delicious ripple would travel across her skin. Bella closed her book and smirked at me, rolling off the bed with more grace than she used to exhibit.

"I'm going to take a shower before they get back." She explained. As much as I would have liked to join her, the shower in this cabin was barely big enough for one person.

"I'll fix you something to eat then. I'm sure Carlisle wouldn't let me hear the end of it if he came home to find I starved you all day."

I found that the family charade was quite patronizing, now that I'd found my mate. It was different in the beginning of our relationship, when we were more like teenagers who were dating. Now that we lived together and were planning our future together, sometimes we felt smothered. Many times we had discussed living on our own once Bella was past her volatile newborn year. Even if it meant that we had to move more often, neither one of us wanted to continue with the perpetual high school student charade either. We would go to college together, once she was able, and then, most likely we'd travel the world for a while. Jasper had been feeling the same way lately, but Alice was attached to the family idea more so than the rest of us. Really, this was the only family she'd ever known since she remembered nothing of her life before she woke up as a vampire. Jasper had been a man before he was changed, and yearned for a certain amount of independence. They both were joining us on our European tour this summer, while Carlisle and Esme took their own much needed and well deserved vacation to Isle Esme. That island was off the coast of South America. Carlisle bought it for Esme many years ago.

I went to the kitchen and assembled a variety of finger foods for Bella, deciding at the last minute to take her on a surprise picnic. The days were warmer now, so we were able to enjoy more outings together. Knocking on the bathroom door, I opened it slightly so she could hear me.

"Wear something suitable for outside when you get dressed, love."

"Where are we going?" She asked from the steaming shower. Her scent swirled deliciously through the air.

"It's a surprise." I still waited for the groan that used to invariably follow that sentence, but she'd long since stopped complaining about surprises and money for the most part.

"Alright, can't wait." Bella replied sweetly without a hint of sarcasm. It was nice to finally be able to do things like this for her, and she always enjoyed them.

She met me at the front door, dressed in jeans and a warm sweater. I helped her into her coat, and then she put on her hat. We held hands as we sloshed through the melting snow and mud. Bella had wrinkled her nose when she saw the mud and picnic basket, thinking the spring thaw would make this trip unbearably messy, but I had other plans. Once we had reached our destination, I leapt into a tree and quickly scrambled to the top. After laying out the blanket on a sturdy branch with the view I wanted and securing the basket, I quickly descended to a smirking Bella.

"Well this _is_ a surprise." She stretched up to kiss me gently on the lips, and then hopped on my back when I turned around into a crouch. Less than a minute later I had her seated securely in my arms on a branch looking out over the Atlantic ocean. "Mmmm. This is nice." Bella hummed as she leaned back into me. Her stomach growled and we laughed together as I reached over to pull out some cut up fruit for her. I placed the container into her hands, and gingerly picked up a piece of apple, feeding it to her while I still held her securely with one arm. Her soft tongue swept out to caress my fingers teasingly as she accepted my offering.

"We're going hunting in two days."

Bella nodded. Even without the constant barometer of my eye color, our schedule was quite predictable. "There's a poetry reading at the coffeehouse that evening. Me and Carmen already planned to go. I'll pick up the mail as well. Is there anything else you wanted from town?"

"I have everything I need right here." I hugged her a little tighter and slipped a grape between her lips.

"Well let me know if you think of anything. I know Alice usually takes care of everything, but I don't mind. It would be kind of nice to be able to do things like that for you."

"Yeah? I can always tell Alice to stop."

She shook her head. "Well considering she's probably already seen this conversation, it's ok. I mean it's kind of nice to have our every need anticipated, but sometimes I'd like to take care of myself...if that makes any sense?"

"I know what you mean. I think I'm just used to it because I've had fifty or so years to get used to it. You've always been so independent, it's been hard to get used to our way of life."

"Yeah." She mumbled.

"You know, I really never used to care about any of that stuff. I let the women decorate the house. I let Alice buy my clothes. She even laid out my clothes each day like I was incapable of picking them out myself. I never really gave my input, just kind of going along with the flow. But since I've had you...well...I don't want anyone else making these kinds of decisions except _us_. If we want to decorate our room, I want us to be the ones to decide the theme and pick out the bedding. If I need new clothes, I want to go shopping with you, and see what I think or what you think looks good. Don't get me wrong, I love Alice and appreciate everything she does, but I'm just ready to find my own way and that includes you. Whatever decisions need to be made, I want us to make them. Together."

Bella leaned her head back so she could see me, and her grin was huge. "I guess this is what it feels like to grow up, huh?" She giggled. Just the other day we sat down and folded our clothes together. It was so _normal_ and domestic. She was right, I felt like an adult, and it felt _right_. "Gosh, Edward, how did you ever do it and not die from boredom. Year after year of high school. Promise me we will never be like that?"

"I've promised you eleven times already, another twenty isn't going to make it any more true. I have no desire to go through that any time soon. I look forward to it just being the two of us for a very, very long time. We're going to settle down some place far enough from other people so that there are no thoughts invading my mind but my own."

"Do you think my mind will still be shielded from you once I'm changed?"

"I'm not entirely sure of course, but my theory is that yes, it will. However, you should be able to gain control over your shield eventually, and hopefully, you will be able to manipulate it. I am looking forward to that day. Hearing your mind would be exponentially better than tasting your blood again, my dear."

I felt her shake her head infinitesimally. "How do you know you'll like what you hear? What if I'm just as vapid as every other high school girl who annoyed you?" She whispered.

"Never." When I was first trying to convince myself to stay away from Bella, I had used the same excuse. I tried to convince myself there was nothing special about her, and that if I could read her mind, she would be just like everyone else. It was a lie. Bella would never be like anyone else. Finding her was like coming across a diamond chip in the middle of a desert.

We sat a while longer and I finished feeding her the food I'd prepared. The rest of the family would be home soon and we wanted to be there when they arrived. We were almost home when Bella slipped in the mud. I was looking out at the ocean and went down before I could catch her. "Ow! Shit!" She cried out. The scent of her blood hit me and I stopped breathing out of habit, though I knew I would maintain control. Her face flamed red and I wasn't sure if she was going to laugh and cry. I abandoned our picnic basket and helped her stand, noticing her entire backside was caked with mud. She cradled her right palm in her hand, but I could still see the crimson drops mixing with the dirt.

"Are you ok?" I asked her.

"Yeah, just sliced open my hand on that root." She studied me intently, making sure we were both ok, before making any sudden movements.

"I'm fine." I smiled reassuringly. "Let's get you back to the house and cleaned up." Picking her up in my arms, I jogged the rest of the way. There was no reason to really run, but I wanted to get it taken care of quickly. Esme would be upset with the mud we'd tracked in, but the floor had needed to be mopped almost every day for the past two weeks already, so it was nothing new.

Once I got her in the bathroom and washed her hand off, I was able to assess the cut and it was pretty deep. The blood was still flowing and I knew she would need a couple of stitches. Bella came to the same conclusion at the same time. "Stitches huh?"

"Yeah." I cradled her hand gently and gave her a rueful smile. "I'll be right back." She stood uncomfortably in her muddy clothes, waiting for me to return. "Why don't you hop in the shower first." I suggested, moving to help her undress.

Once she was mud-free and in clean clothes, we sat down at the kitchen table with Carlisle's supplies laid out in front of me. Bella grimaced at the needle, but I knew the one shot was preferable to her having to feel every stitch. She watched me as I worked quickly and deftly once the anesthetic had taken effect. It didn't take long for me to finish and she thanked me. Even though she knew I held two medical degrees, she admitted it still seemed odd for someone who looked like a teenager and attended high school to be performing procedures. However, since I had been the one to stitch the wounds closed on her wrists, she trusted me implicitly with her care now.

After I cleaned up and bandaged her hand, she picked out a movie and we sat on the couch as I cradled her hand in mine, letting my unnaturally cold skin soothe the swelling.

It wasn't long before I heard the boat approaching, along the thoughts of my family. Alice had already seen Bella's injury and they had already planned to be cautious. Jasper's control had greatly improved from having to live in such close quarters with Bella. In addition, Bella being, well, Bella, meant a few scrapes and cuts here and there, and he'd managed to control his blood lust each time. The last time he had not even needed to leave the cabin, but it was still important that we take precautions. Carlisle and Esme entered first, placing themselves between the door and Bella. I was monitoring his thoughts with my entire focus, my arms wrapped around Bella in case I needed to move her quickly. Jasper entered and his mental monologue was nothing concerning. He had been expecting it, which helped, as well as the fact that it was not a fresh wound and the blood had already clotted.

_I'm fine. Completely in control. _He smiled, letting everyone else know he was ok. You could feel the tension drain out of the room as we all realized Jasper was fine. Then Carlisle was immediately in front of Bella, making her jump and her heart stutter. He examined her hand and nodded, satisfied with the job I'd done. _Well done._

Bella hopped up to help put away the groceries, but Esme made her sit back down because of her injured hand. She gave Jasper an apologetic smile as she flopped back down on the couch. He shook his head and smirked back. The two of them had really gotten good with the silent communication lately. Of course I could hear Jasper's interpretation of the conversation, but for some reason I felt like I was intruding, so I tried to avoid Jasper's mind in those instances. Right now I focused on Alice, and caught a flash of something before she realized it had slipped. Her eyes widened when she realized she slipped. _Shit. Not now Edward. I don't know what it means._

"Tell us, Alice." I warned her. If there was any danger, I wanted...no, I _needed_ to know.

Everyone turned to focus on her. "What did you see Alice?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't know for sure. I've seen just a flicker of Victoria and Laurent running towards Denali, so I've been trying to keep an eye on both of them along Tanya's family. We know Laurent spent some time in Denali, but he left and his eyes are still red, so he hasn't adopted our diet. He and Irina got along quite well, so it's possible they are just going to visit, but I don't know why Victoria would be with him. Victoria's involvement is what concerns me the most, and I can't get a lock on any of her plans. That could just mean she doesn't have any." Alice shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant, but it was easy to tell she was concerned and frustrated about the situation.

We all sat for a moment, absorbing the information. Jasper was the first one to jump to the same conclusion I had and we locked eyes. _It makes sense. She's looking for us, or Bella. We should warn the sisters about her intent._ Carlisle was watching us and waiting for one of to verbalize our suspicions.

"We think Victoria is looking for us. That's really the only thing that makes sense. She certainly has no interest in our lifestyle and judging from what I heard of her thoughts, she's not one to just forget we killed her mate. We should warn the sisters about her intent, in case she shows up there with Laurent. She could be using him to get information."

_Good thinking. _Carlisle nodded, still deep in thought.

Bella had paled and Jasper was watching her intently. I felt the edges of the waves of calm he was sending her. "Bella?" I called to her gently.

"It's never going to stop is it?" She whispered.

I moved closer and pulled her into my lap, tucking her small frame into mine. "What do you mean, love?"

"There's always going to be someone out to get me. Why me? I'm nothing special. I'm just another human..."

"Shh." I felt Jasper ramp up the level of serenity in the room. "She's not going to find you, and even if she did, there is no way she would get close enough to hurt you. There are five of us and one of her. As long as you don't go running off to sacrifice yourself again, then we will easily be able to keep you safe." I told her, hoping my gentle teasing would help ease her mind.

Apparently, that didn't work and she started hyperventilating. "Oh, God. What about Charlie and Renee?" She choked, remembering James' stunt in Phoenix.

Jasper crouched in front of her, laying his hand on the back of her neck. "Bella, you need to breathe. You're getting ahead of yourself here. We don't even know if she's planning anything. Alice would be able to see if Charlie or Renee were in trouble, right Alice?"

"Of course. I'm keeping a sharp lookout on their future too." Alice reassured her. I watched as Alice mentally flipped through both futures and there was no hint of any danger.

"Alice just looked, Bella. They're both going to be just fine. We'll know if something changes." I spoke softly, close to her ear. "We will take care of Victoria. Please, don't worry about it, love." Her heart rate slowed down a bit, but I knew she would worry anyway. Jasper moved away from her then. _She's calming down._

Esme brought Bella a glass of water. She smiled in thanks, and drank a third of the glass before setting it on the coffee table.

"Better?" I asked her, and she nodded.

"Yeah, I just don't understand why I'm so deserving of all this attention from your kind." She joked wryly.

"Because you smell so good, baby." I teased her. She rolled her eyes and started nervously chewing on her thumbnail. I swatted her hand away from her mouth, and she bumped me with her shoulder playfully.

Carlisle stood by the window while he dialed Kate's number.

"_Carlisle! Is everything ok?"_ She answered on the first ring.

"I'm not sure Kate. I was wondering if you've seen Laurent, or another vampire by the name of Victoria, recently?"

"_Actually, Laurent was just here a couple days ago. Why? What's wrong?"_

"Do you know if anyone told him where we were?"

"_I know I didn't. I'm not sure about the others, though I do know he is still hunting humans. He came to visit Irina, of course." _ Her tone was disapproving, which told me she did not have much faith in his character.

"Is Irina there?"

Alice was once again flipping through images of the future, but there was nothing there other than mundane everyday events.

"_No, she's out with Tanya actually. I'll ask her when they get home and give you a call back."_

"Thank you, Kate. For future reference, please keep our location to yourselves."

"_Not a problem, Carlisle. I will let them know."_

"Ok. Talk to you soon."

"_Bye."_

He flipped the phone shut. "Well that doesn't give us much to go on. We'll have to wait and see what Kate finds out. Hopefully, he did not weasel any information of out of them, but we need to be prepared in case he did."

"I still don't see anything. If they did find out where we are, they haven't made any plans to follow us yet. Of course I will keep looking."

"Thank you, Alice." I told her sincerely. If Victoria was after Bella, I would destroy her before she got within a mile of her.


	19. Chapter 19

We left Bella on the main island with Carmen and Eleazar. She would stay with them while we went over to Labrador to hunt. Thanks to our friends, we could all go at once, which was just easier. I found myself wishing Bella could come with us, and lately had been considering talking to her about changing her sooner than we'd planned. Considering I had always been so adamant about keeping her human, this was a new feeling for me. I wanted her to be my equal, and to be able to do everything together. Her humanity was definitely not a burden, there was just so much more we could experience together if she was already one of us. I didn't want to wait for eternity with her any longer. However, there were so many things going on and so many reasons that we should wait. The house needed to be finished. Rose and Em needed to be home. Bella needed more human experiences. I had been the one to press her the most about _human experiences_, but now I found myself thinking that there wasn't much she needed to experience as human that she couldn't do as a vampire. Some of the things on her list would actually be safer and more fun if she was already an immortal. Like snorkeling. We didn't have to breathe and were not susceptible to water pressure so we could dive as deeply as we wanted to in the ocean and see things humans would never lay eyes on...and we didn't have to worry about sharks or jellyfish.

Caribou was on the menu today, and I hoped to find a lynx. Moose were a possibility, as well as coyotes – though as a relative to the wolf, none of us were too keen on canine. We might stumble across a black bear, but only Emmett would seek one out deliberately. After taking down a couple of caribou, I split from the others to see if I could trail a lynx. I enjoyed the blood of carnivorous felines the most. Also, I knew the other two mated pairs preferred to hunt by themselves, as they found themselves more amorous after a good hunt.

I despised being away from Bella. Even though it was only a two day trip, the absence of her touch, her scent, everything that was her, just made me ache. Perching myself in a tree, I daydreamed about what she might be doing. Probably curled up in their living room with Carmen reading a book and sipping some tea. I loved the way she would chew on her bottom lip, lost in her novels. A strand of hair would inevitably fall across her face, and my fingers could feel the silky strands as if I was there gently tucking it behind her ear. I was irrevocably in love with my Bella, and would never again be without her. I allowed myself to feel joyous about spending eternity with her.

The soft padding of feline paws interrupted my daydreaming. I hoped I would run into a lynx at some point, but having one cross my path so willingly was a treat.

Just as I leapt down from the tree to track the cat, the panicked thoughts of my family blasted into my mind.

"Edward!" _Edward! _Alice was frantic. Carlisle was on the phone. It took me a little while to organize everyone's thoughts and conversation into something coherent. Alice was showing me a vision, but it was completely blank. Carlisle was on the phone with Eleazar demanding to know where Bella was. Jasper was trying to calm everyone down, and Esme's mind was racing. _She's gone. She's gone._

The panic overwhelmed me, and I started running for the boat before I even knew the full story. All I understood was that Bella was in danger.

"Alice! What did you see?" I hissed, trying to focus only on her at the moment.

_She just disappeared. I was checking on her to make sure she was safe, and there's nothing. It's all just black. I can't find her._

"What does that mean?"

_The only time people disappear is when they... _My sister trailed off refusing to accept Bella's death as a possibility.

"No!" I roared. "Don't even think that! Carlisle!"

_Bella was going to the coffee shop to sit outside and read. The sun was out, so she was by herself. They're looking for her now._

I staggered as what felt like a wrecking ball slammed into my chest. _No! No! No! _I growled in frustration that I wasn't there right now. I was furious they had let her go off alone, even though I knew there were no other vampires on the island and she should have been perfectly safe. Of course humans could be just as much of a threat, but the crime rate in that part of town was nonexistent. There was no way she could be...Alice's vision had to be off. Something was wrong with her, not Bella. Bella was safe. She had to be. She was probably engrossed in her book somewhere and I could see her laughing when we all showed up scared that she'd been hurt. She would accuse me of being overprotective, and I would just be happy to have her in my arms again.

_They've followed her scent. It leads to a pier and then disappears._

"No!" I cried. If she had slipped and hit her head, fell into the ocean and.._.No!_...I couldn't think of such things, even though everyone else was thinking the same thing. Seeing everyone's worst fears in their minds was almost crippling. It was like a fun house mirror of agony as I watched each person visualize their version of what may have happened.

_There are other scents with hers. She might have been kidnapped._

I clung to this possibility. Maybe she was taken. If she was taken, we could find her. But the fact that Alice couldn't see her at all, was terrifying. That would mean she was..._No!_ I refused to consider that. Not when I'd just gotten her back. I should have changed her already.

The boat flew through the water, pushed to it's limits, and we arrived at the dock as quickly as possible. Thankfully, the cloud cover was back, because I don't think even the sun or Volturi themselves could have stopped me from trying to find her. We raced at barely human speed to Eleazar's place.

_He looks like he's falling apart. We should have made her stay here._

_Oh mi chico tierno! I should not have let her go. This is all my fault._

They were waiting for us. I led the way, following her delicious scent that I would know anywhere. At one point she had gone down an alley that she should not have been in. Either someone had grabbed her or she saw something that made her go in there. That was when another stench hit me. Carlisle picked it up immediately as well, his nostrils flaring and his mind reeling as he tried to place the familiar odor. There was no blood, so she had not been harmed too badly. I scanned the alley for any evidence that may help, and I found her book. I picked it up and quickly scanned through the pages to see if she had managed to leave any kind of clue behind, but there was nothing. Nothing but her scent lingered.

I inhaled deeply once more and it _was_ familiar, but I couldn't place it.

We continued to follow the trail and it was obvious that whoever had been there, had taken Bella to the pier. The family formed a tight cluster around me, and I dove into the water quietly, searching for any sign of her. There was no blood on the dock or in the water, so maybe they had most likely taken her on a boat.

"We need to head to the mainland and spread out along the coast, see where they might have gone ashore. Call Em and Rose. We need all the help we can get."

"Anything yet, Alice?" Carlisle asked. I watched as she searched, but there was no sign of Bella. Then she searched for the rest of us and saw us following a trail, but then we disappeared too.

She gasped and Jasper grabbed her. "What was it?" He asked her.

"We find the trail, but then we disappear too." I told him.

He looked frantically between his wife and the rest of the family. His mind was racing through strategies and decisions. He came to one decisions in particular and I shook my head, warning him not to voice it. "Alice, you will stay here."

The rest of us backed up a bit, knowing the tiny vampire could possibly explode in fury at being told what to do.

"I most certainly will not." Her tawny eyes burned as she stared him down. The look on his face was priceless and I almost laughed at seeing him scared of Alice. Especially considering his past. He was a fierce and fearless leader, but Alice could make him cower like a little boy afraid of the dark.

"I'm not going to lose you, Alice.'

"And you think I'm going to let you go off like that when I can't see a future for any of us?"

I didn't have time to listen to the others squabble. "We don't have time for this. Whoever wants to go can go. I'm leaving. Who's coming?" I strode off across the town to where our boat was docked. A few minutes later and everyone had piled in with us. Jasper held Alice, his lips pressed against the top of her head while her eyes glazed over and she continued searching for our futures. I took the boat around to the dock where Bella's scent disappeared and hoped we could find some trace of their scent in order to know which direction to travel, but with the water and wind, there was nothing. I took the most direct approach to the mainland. We docked the boat and split up. Carlisle, Esme and I traveled south, while the other four traveled north. Carlisle called Rose and Em once we started tracking. Fortunately, they were already in the States and would be on the next flight out to the east coast of Canada as soon as possible. They would call us when they landed and join in the search.

I was fastest, and I shot off down the coast as quickly as I could. I didn't want to hear the sympathy or encouragement from my family. All I could do was pray to every deity ever imagined that my Bella was safe somewhere. She was my life. Whoever had taken her only had two hours on us, and there was no way they could outrun us. If she was harmed at all, there would be retribution. They would not survive today.

I had just crossed the border into Quebec, and at the first town I came to, I smelled them. Bella was with them. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. This had been easier than I thought it would be. I flipped open my cell, and quickly let Carlisle know what I had found. There were three distinct scents along with Bella's. Two of them were the same from the island. Ten minutes later and Carlisle and Esme were with me.

"I don't want to wait for the rest of them." I told him.

"I called, they'll head south and then follow our trail to find us." _She must still be alive. I don't smell death or blood._ I nodded tersely, letting him know I heard him, but I would not feel relieved until she was back in my arms.

So, we ran, following the trail. I tried to slow my pace so that I didn't leave Carlisle and Esme too far behind. The scent was getting stronger, which meant we were gaining on them. I didn't try to plan or strategize. When I found her I would deal with it then. There were only two creatures out there that could harm me – vampires and werewolves. I knew they weren't vampires, and it was unlikely that they were werewolves. I wasn't concerned. I could handle them.

Carlisle continued to update me. Rose and Em were on a plane and would call when they landed. Alice still saw us all disappearing, and soon.

It wasn't much longer before Carlisle called out for me to stop. He had his phone to his ear and Alice was on the other line. She had seen the three of us disappear, and called. Since we were still alive, she was assuming whoever had taken Bella was blocking her vision. This information eased some of the dread we all felt over the situation. We continued running, but at a slower pace, trying to be as stealthy as possible and constantly scanning our surroundings for any hint that we might be closing in on them.

Then I heard it – three sets of footsteps, running. They were almost as quiet as us, but my enhanced hearing could pick up the sound. I also heard Bella's heartbeat. I had never been so happy to hear that sound before and I stumbled. I wanted to drop to the ground and give thanks, but I needed to have her in my arms.

_I hear it too._ All three of us heard it and the relief was palpable.

"Edward!" Bella's scream ripped through the forest. "Don't you dare hurt him." She said in a fierce voice, although much quieter. She was talking to her captors.

The three of us slowed drastically because they had stopped moving. Finally, I could pick out three hulking dark shapes in the trees up ahead, and a flash of white and brown. _Bella._ My whole body sighed as I laid eyes on my love. Then a fraction of a second later, a ripping noise echoed through the trees and there were three gigantic wolves standing defensively in front of her. I couldn't see her, but I had heard her fall to the ground. Her heart was racing and the inhuman sounds of snarling and growing surrounding us.

_Edward. The Quileutes. The wolves._ I nodded absently, letting Carlisle know I heard him. I had put it all together at the same time. The familiar scent was the wolves. It wasn't too far off from the wolves we ran across decades ago. _The treaty._ He reminded me.

We closed in on them carefully, not wanting to provoke the mangy mutts, but when I saw one of them blocking my way to Bella, I crouched, ready to spring. _Screw the treaty._

"Move out of the way, or you'll regret it dog." I snarled. He flattened his ears back and growled in response.

_Bring it on leech. _

_Edward, don't. Bella is too close._ He was right. Her safety was too important. I halted my attack.

"Bella, are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine. If these mongrels would just let me go, I'd be perfect." She sounded angry, but fine.

_Leave or else we will destroy you. _I heard one of them. I assumed the big black wolf that had taken point was their leader.

"Give us Bella and we will leave."

_Never. We're taking her home. You leeches will not hurt her again._

"Bella's home is with us. We have not hurt her and we will not."

"Jacob Black! You don't get to make my decisions for me. I live with the Cullens now and you will let me go this instant!" My dear, sweet Bella was screaming at the reddish-brown wolf that towered over her. She was not afraid of him and stared him down. A large part of me was terrified, but I'd be lying if I didn't say another part of me was proud of my brave girl.

I remembered Jacob, the boy who approached us at prom. The child whose father wanted him to warn Bella against me. That would make him the great-grandson of Ephraim Black, the Quileute we made the treaty with. The chief who believed we could coexist. Obviously his compassion had not been inherited by Jacob. His attitude towards our kind was pure vitriol. We thought the line had died out with Ephraim, but there was proof snarling in front of us that indeed the genetic quirk was still in their blood. Why had there not been wolves before now? Surely we would have known. Carlisle's internal monologue was much the same as mine as he pieced it all together.

Jacob let out a sharp growl in response to Bella's demands and shook his head. _She's not going anywhere with them. I'll kill them all first._

"They refuse to let her go. He says he'll kill us all first." I jerked my chin towards the wolf boy threatening us.

Carlisle stepped up as head of our coven. "We made a treaty with your people many years ago. We have not violated the treaty and you have no reason to attack us. Bella is a member of our family by her own choice and she is bound by laws that you can do nothing about."

_What laws?_

_Screw the treaty. They took Bella._

_We can take them down, then we'll get Bella home to Charlie. _

The dynamic of the pack mind was fascinating. They communicated mentally with each other, but only in wolf form. Images of a grief-stricken Charlie flashed through their minds. Then the riverside, where they found Bella's blood, and our scents surrounding it. They followed our trail to our house, and knew we had taken her there before leaving by car.

"I think we all need to calm down and discuss this. You seem to be under a misapprehension. First though, let Bella through to us."

Bella tried to step through the wolves, but they quickly closed in around her and crouched, ready to spring at us. Their growling had gotten louder.

"Let me through!" Bella demanded. "You have no right to keep me away from them. Who do you think you are? Move out of my way!"

The reddish wolf, Jacob, I assumed, butted her with his head and she stumbled backwards. My muscles coiled instinctively, ready to take out the mongrel who dared touch my Bella.

_Bring it on bloodsucker._

_Edward! Think of Bella._

Carlisle stopped me again, and I stood up straight. I couldn't help the continuous rumbling in my chest though. These mutts had my mate and refused to let her go. I would tear each of them to shreds if they harmed one hair on her head.

"Bella, love, you're going to have to tell them what happened." I called to her, utterly frustrated at the situation. Who did they think they were taking Bella against her will?

"I've already told them Edward. They think you are holding me against my will, or have me brainwashed." She sounded as exasperated as I was.

"Bella was going to die. She slit her wrists and threw herself in the river. I pulled her out. _We_ saved her life, you dogs. She wanted to stay with us. She is already dead to everyone in Forks, and it's best that way. Bella has told you to let her go several times now. You cannot take her against her will. She has made her choice."

_I'll die before I let them have her._

_They'll kill her._

"Carlisle, they aren't going to let her go."

_Mind reader._

"Yes." I focused on the black wolf. "Edward."

_Sam. _He then showed me images of Bella crumbled on the forest floor, pale and limp. He found her in the woods and carried her home. Her lips were blue and she was incoherent. _You did that._

"I didn't know she would follow me."

He let out a harsh barking sound. _Some mind reader._

"Everyone but her."

_Hmph. Why did you come back?_

"To save her. My sister saw her death and we came back to stop her. Alice can see the future."

_Really? Hmph. Why didn't you just take Bella to the hospital?_

"Her life would have been unbearable if we had. She would have ended up drugged into oblivion in a mental ward, or she would have tried to end her life again. She's happy with us."

"Damn straight I am. Now let me go!" Bella pulled the Jacob's ear hard.

_Like that hurts._ He rolled his eyes, which just looked completely strange.

_We have visitors._

_Four more leeches._

_They're here._

Everyone noticed the arrival of the rest of our group at the same time. Alice, Jasper, Carmen, and Eleazar fell in line behind us. A heavy fog of calm spread out over everyone thanks to Jasper.

_Fight?_ He asked. I shook my head slightly to the left to answer him.

"Bella! What's going on? We thought you were dead! You just disappeared. We were so scared." The words tumbled out of Alice's mouth like a waterfall.

"These dogs kidnapped me. They want to take me home to Charlie and refuse to let me go. What do you mean I disappeared?"

"I couldn't _see_ you. Everything just went black, but you're obviously fine. Well except for these beasts blocking your way. Let her go!" Alice demanded.

_We can't fight seven of them. Let her go._

_You've got to be kidding me! We can take them. We can't just let them have her._

_They have not broken the treaty, therefore we have no grounds for attack. We wouldn't survive against seven of them and I would like to make it home to Emily. She wants to go with them, let her go._

_Fine. I will fight them myself. I will never let her go with them._

_Jacob, stand down. Let her go._ The last voice was different. It reverberated through their minds and Jacob dropped to the ground in submission. The black wolf, Sam, motioned with his head for Bella to go.

"Bella, come here." I called gently. She looked warily at the wolves and carefully made her way towards us. Once she has passed Sam, she ran and I had to stop myself from running to meet her. I didn't want to provoke the wolves. Finally, I held my Bella in my arms. Her soft, warm body pressed against mine and I inhaled deeply.

"You stink." I chuckled, my nose wrinkling at the stench of wet dog that covered her.

"Gee thanks." She playfully swatted my chest. Then reaching up, she laced her fingers through my hair and pulled me down for a kiss. Her mouth was heaven and I rejoiced in having her taste on my lips again.

"I thought I'd lost you." I murmured.

"Never. I love you." She whispered back and I attacked her mouth in a desperate kiss, holding her too me as tightly as I dared.

I vaguely heard retching sounds in the background. Jacob was showing his immaturity and I tried to block him out.

Carlisle cleared his throat. _Enough, son._

I glared at him. "I'm sorry. I just spent most of the day thinking the love of my life was dead, only to find out a pack of mongrels took her from me in some warped heroic effort. I'll kiss my girl however long I want to."

Bella was chuckling into my chest, her face bright red in embarrassment.

"God, I missed you." I held her face between my hands.

Sam barked to get my attention. _There have been more leeches in the area since you left._

"Can one of you turn back into your human form so we can all talk?" I requested. The entire family needed to hear about this.

_I will phase back._

He loped off into the woods and then returned a few minutes later in human form, his hands cupping himself since his clothes had shredded when he morphed into a wolf. Jasper pulled off his button up shirt and tossed it to him. Sam quickly tied the arms of it around his waist, so he was covered.

"Thanks." He said gruffly, his nose wrinkling a bit. I guess we don't smell good to them either.

"You said there had been more vampires in the area?" I prodded. Bella was safe in my arms and I would never let her go again. I rested my chin on her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Yes. There have been three different ones. They all have red eyes, and have been hunting in Forks. Several hikers have been killed." I saw a flash of red hair in his mind.

"Victoria." I hissed.

"You know them?" He showed me more images of a dark-haired male, Laurent, and the red-head. The third one was a blond male that I had never seen before.

"The red head is Victoria. We killed her mate last year when he attacked Bella. The dark-haired male is Laurent. He was a third member in their coven. I don't know the other one."

"We've been having a hard time catching the red head. Every time we get close, she always manages to slip through. We only saw the blond once and he outran us. His scent was around Bella's house. Charlie's fine though. We've been running patrols." He told us the last part for Bella's sake, knowing she would want her father protected. Her whole body tensed at knowing her fears were confirmed and she twisted her fist in my shirt.

"Shh. He'll be fine, love." I tried to comfort her.

"How did you find us?" Jasper demanded. I had been so worried about Bella that I hadn't even thought to ask that.

"We followed your trail to Alaska shortly after you left, but it eventually faded away. When Jacob found out, he ran off to search for more information. He came across another group of your kind and staked them out until he overheard them talking about where your family went."

"Why did you come all this way for Bella now? It's been months." I had to know. What was she to them? With vampires on the loose in Forks, you would think they would want all the protection they could get.

Sam's face clouded over in anger and his eyes flashed to the red wolf. "We thought she was taken against her will. Jacob just started phasing recently. Before then, he had no idea Bella had gone with your family." _Jacob insisted. He and his father are close to Charlie._

"You had no right to take her." I growled, glaring at Jacob.

"You are vampires. How were we supposed to know she was safe?"

"You know good and well we don't harm humans. How would you like it if someone took your mate away from you because they thought you might be dangerous?" The outrage was still coursing thought me. That little pup thinks he has a right to take _my_ mate. Who does he think he is?

_Oh shit!_

_Man, don't bring her up. Now you've done it._

_Emily..._

The wolves seemed to flinch in anticipation that Sam would lose control. The hulking Quileute did begin to tremble. I saw his mate's face, permanently scarred, and a flash of himself phasing too close to her, causing the injury. The guilt and remorse he felt was crushing, and Jasper flinched with the onslaught. She forgave him though and they were completely in love with one another. His trembling ceased as his thoughts turned towards their love.

"It was an accident." I tried to placate him. "But surely you see the similarities?

"No, you're right. Your family has not given us any reason to distrust you. You have always followed the treaty and your father was highly respected at the hospital." _All that blood, and never a single incident._ The other wolves let out snorts, and Sam turned to glare at them. _I can see you love her, and she loves you. I'm ashamed of our actions. We let our emotions get the best of us. _"Bella, I am sorry we took you against your will. It was wrong. Please accept our apologies." Jacob growled from behind Sam.

_We did what was right. I can't believe he's letting them take her. They're going to kill her._

"Just look after Charlie for me." She requested.

Sam agreed. "We will."

"About these other vampires..." Carlisle cut in. "We'd appreciate it if you would keep our location secret. We have reason to suspect they are looking for Bella. However, if they become more of a problem, please let us know. We may not live in Forks any longer, but we care about the people there and would be willing to offer our assistance, if you need it."

_Like we need their help._

"Sure, sure. It's only three of them, and we should be able to take them ourselves, but if things escalate, we would appreciate the help."

"We need to get Bella back home. This has been an exhausting day for her, I'm sure." Carlisle excused us politely.

"Of course. Take care of her." Sam's thoughts were quite protective of Bella. She merely glared at him, still angry about being kidnapped.

"We will." I replied tersely, still quite angry myself at the gall of these children.

Turning away from them, Bella and I began to walk away. Several things happened at once. Jacob crouched and sprang. I saw it an instant before it happened, but Bella was in my arms and my first instinct was to curl myself around her to protect her. Jasper reacted first, leaping at the wolf. They collided in mid-air and Jasper knocked him off course, leaving me and Bella unharmed. I pushed Bella into Alice's arms and told her to run. Carmen and Esme quickly joined her and took Bella far away from the ensuing rumble. Carlisle and Eleazar crouched, facing off with Sam, who had phased again, and the third wolf. None of them planned to fight unless forced. Trees shuddered and the ground shook as Jasper and Jacob wrestled for dominance. Jacob's snapping jaws tried to find purchase in Jasper's marble flesh, but the vampire was too skilled to allow himself to be harmed. Jasper was merely trying to deflect the wolf's attack. He did not want to harm the boy, and tried several times to blast him with enough calm to get him to stop. Finally, Jacob sank to the ground whimpering. Jasper had grasped the wolf's massive head between his hands and infused him with lethargy at the same time as Sam commanded him to stand down using the Alpha voice. Jasper kept contact with Jacob, and Sam demanded to know what he was doing.

"Jasper can manipulate emotions. He's trying to calm him down and has given him the equivalent to a sleeping pill. He does not want to hurt Jacob, but he has to be stopped."

_Jacob cannot disobey the Alpha's command, and I have ordered him to stop. Your vampire can step away now._

"Jasper, Sam has given Jacob a command as Alpha. You can let go of him now."

Jasper reluctantly let go of the wolf and backed away warily, still ready to step in if needed.

_It's best if you leave now._

"I agree. Jacob, you are not to approach Bella again. She has made her choice. If I see you near her, I will not hesitate to end your life." I warned the pup with a snarl. No coherent words were formed, but there was a sense of resignation in his mind.

Jasper and I backed away from the wolves, while the rest of the family ran ahead with Bella. When I was sure we were far enough away from them, I turned to catch up and relieved Alice of her burden. Once Bella was in my arms, the world felt right again. Clutching her to my chest, I buried my face in her hair and found comfort in her scent, even though the stench of the wolves still lingered.

"Is Jacob ok?" She asked meekly.

"He's fine, Bella."

Her head bobbed against my chest as she nodded. I knew Bella cared for the boy, considering she had known him her entire life, so I tried not to be angry that she was concerned for his safety. Though I was still furious they had thought it was their place to invade our lives and take Bella against her will. Personally, I could care less if Jacob was harmed or not. He put Bella in danger. I put Bella in danger by leaving her side. Perhaps I was being a bit irrational, but the earth would cease to spin for me if anything happened to her. If I had to spend every moment with Bella to ensure her safety, then I would. Nothing like this would ever happen again. If Victoria and Laurent were still invading Forks, then they were after us. They were after Bella. At any moment they could find out where we were and come for us. We would be ready. I would personally hunt them down before they even had a chance to get close enough to smell her.

All that mattered in the world was nestled in my arms. I cherished every heartbeat and breath while I ran towards the coast. With every step and pulse of her blood, I was reminded how fragile and mortal she was. I was a fool to think keeping her human was a good idea. At any moment her life could be ripped away. At least as an immortal, she would be safer. There were only two things that could destroy her then - a vampire or a werewolf. The chances that either would take Bella from me were minuscule. I would have to talk to Carlisle first, but changing Bella as soon as possible was at the top of my agenda. She was too precious.


	20. Chapter 20

"I won't let anyone take you away from me ever again." I breathed into Bella's pale flesh. She lay spread out like a goddess on our bed and I couldn't resist slowly waking her up. I needed her. I needed to feel her.

When she disappeared from Alice's visions, my whole world stopped. The pain of thinking she might be gone forever had been crippling. Now that she was back in my arms, I had no intentions of ever letting her out of my sight again. Of course I knew that was unrealistic, but I couldn't help the desperate need to keep her by my side.

I hovered over her as I pushed her tank top further up her body until just the bottoms of her breasts peeked out from under the cotton fabric. Her long chestnut locks spilled out over the pillow and one arm was tossed over her head. Lightly skimming her exposed torso with my lips, I kissed my way up towards those delicious mounds. She moaned softly, as I traced the bottom curve of her left breast with my tongue. I tasted the curve of her other breast, then blew cool air over the wet flesh, causing her nipples to harden even more, straining against the fabric of her tank. Her heart rate was accelerating and her even breathing hitched. As I continued to kiss and lick her creamy, soft flesh, her other hand found it's way into my hair. The scent of her arousal filled the room and I breathed it in greedily. When I looked up at her, she still had her eyes closed, but a soft smile played on her sleep plumped lips. My fingers danced delicately over her sides, before I wrapped my arms around her and continued kissing upwards, following the valley between her breasts until I reached the slender column of her neck. The taste of her salty sweet skin against my lips and tongue was burned into my eternal memory. Nothing would ever taste as divine as Bella. My lips slowly found their way to her waiting mouth, and my fingers wove themselves into the silky hair at the back of her neck, gently holding her as closely as possible. My steel length pressed against her thigh and the need to claim her fully as mine was overwhelming. Still, I resisted. My insecurities over hurting her in the heat of moment persisted, and my moral upbringing from decades past demanded I marry her first.

Bella eagerly returned the kiss, her eyes still closed and crusted with sleep. Finally, she had given up her own insecurities over her appearance first thing in the morning. It had taken some time, but I'd finally convinced her I found her completely appealing regardless of what she believed. Her breath was hot and sweet first thing in the morning, untainted by food or minty toothpaste. She was her most natural and beguiling at this moment. I cared not for the pretenses of perfectly coiffed hair and makeup, perfume and minty breath. This was pure Bella, and she was sweet ambrosia.

I slowly ended the kiss and pulled away, waiting for her to open her eyes. Her skin flushed beautifully and her lips were red and swollen. She was exquisite and I would miss these small human markers once she was one of us, but I knew there was so much more we would gain once we were truly equals. There were experiences I could never give her as a human, and we'd have an eternity to enjoy those things, as well as each other.

"Good morning, beautiful." I murmured.

Finally, her eyelashes fluttered and her heavy lids opened to reveal those deep chocolate pools I'd never forget as long as I existed.

"Mmm. Morning." She mumbled back.

We were both so utterly content in this moment, as much as we ached for more. I was loathe to break the connection, but I had plans, and with one last chaste kiss to her lips, I rolled away, chuckling to myself as she groaned.

"I'll be right back with breakfast, if you want to go have your human moment."

She nodded sleepily and I couldn't tear my eyes away from her as she stretched. Her muscles rippled and the throaty moan she let out did nothing to lessen my throbbing erection. It had been much easier to control myself before my first release with Bella, but since she'd gotten her hands on me, it was like a monster had been let out of it's cage. My cock constantly ached for her touch, and I found myself hardening from even the slightest whiff of her delectable scent. I'd suffered through decades of loneliness as the three perfectly mated pairs I lived with shared the most intimate of acts, and I finally understood what I had been missing. The need for that connection between us was insatiable. I could not wait to claim her and thrust myself into those moist depths, destroying any bed or wall that might get in our way. My, how the tables have turned. I could no longer look down on my siblings for their uncontrolled lust now that I'd had a small taste of things to come with Bella. Months ago, I would have been appalled at my thoughts, but now, they were comforting. I felt complete and somewhat normal. Carlisle and Esme had always wondered if I'd been changed too young, and perhaps, was incapable of finding comfort with another – whether they be male or female. Hearing those thoughts for as long as I had did nothing to assure me I was anything but abnormal. These primal urges and the connection I had found with Bella set their fears to rest, and in turn, my own.

Bella caught me watching her and smirked at me. I merely returned the look and shook my head, bounding from the room to gather her breakfast. I'd prepared everything but the pancakes, wanting them to be hot and fresh. I turned on the burner and added the blueberries to the batter. Bella made her way into the bathroom, while I finished putting together the other details of her meal. The sausage had been kept warm in the oven, and the fruit was chilled. A glass of fresh squeezed orange juice completed the meal. I added a small covered dish on the right side of the tray and a small bundle of wildflowers rested in a shot glass Emmett had sent from one of the many airports he and Rose had been through in the past months. Despite the fact that he couldn't drink, the fool had a collection of shot glasses from every place he'd ever been. Considering he had fifty years to amass this collection, it was quite extensive.

The pancakes cooked quickly, and I had them plated up just as she came out of the bathroom.

"Back in bed!" I ordered and though she shook her head, she obeyed.

Once she was settled, I brought the tray into our room and set it carefully over her lap. Seeing her face light up with a smile was all the thanks I needed.

"It looks delicious. What's the occasion?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

"No occasion. Just happy that you're here with me." I leaned forward to kiss her forehead before settling myself at the foot of the bed. The anticipation was killing me, but I just knew it was the right time.

"What's this?" Her hands flew to the small covered dish and I stopped her quickly.

"That's dessert. Leave it for last. No peeking!" I hurriedly blurted out. I wanted her to enjoy her meal first.

With a dubious look, she reluctantly cut into her stack of pancakes, eying the covered dish as if it would suddenly jump off the tray and bite her. As the first forkful hit her tongue she hummed appreciatively.

"These are really good." She tried to speak with her mouth full.

I flashed her a quick smile, anxious for her to hurry up and get to dessert. "I'm learning."

She nodded and continued to eat, understandably famished after the events of the day before. I'd allowed her sleep in until almost noon, and she had not eaten hardly anything since the previous morning. Carmen and Eleazar were back on the main island, and the rest of the family had gone back to the mainland to pick up Em and Rose at the airport. They could have made their own way, but I requested some privacy for my plans with Bella today and they were happy to oblige.

We didn't talk much as she finished up her breakfast. After she swiped the last bite of pancakes through the maple syrup on her plate, I removed the tray from the bed.

"Hey! What about dessert?" She exclaimed as she reached for the covered dish.

I deftly maneuvered away from her grasp and set the tray on the floor, taking the dessert dish into my own hands. If my heart could beat, it would have been hammering against my chest. I turned to her and knelt on the floor, holding the plate out in front of me, one hand resting on the top so she couldn't remove it until I was ready.

"Bella, you are my life, my everything. I never knew what I was missing in my life until I found you, and I now I simply cannot exist without you by my side. Please, say you will stand by my side for eternity? Will you marry me?" I finally removed the cover to the plate and there, nestled in an open velvet box, was my mother's wedding ring.

I could hear her heart stutter and begin to race. She had sucked in a breath, but not released it. My girl was frozen, staring at the ring. Of all the times I had wished to hear her mind, this was definitely the most frustrating. I searched her face and eyes for any telltale sign of what she might be thinking, but it was impossible to tell. I had stopped breathing as well, waiting for her response, and the longer she took, the more sure I was of her rejection.

"Breathe, Bella." I murmured, breaking her trance.

"I...I..." She stuttered. "I didn't expect this." Bella finally spit out.

"Bella?" I questioned her, picking up the box and placing the plate behind me. "Marry me?"

Her eyes bounced back and forth between me and the ring, and she looked panicked and I was sure it was too soon. I'd screwed everything up and moved too quickly in my desperation to keep her safe.

Then the corners of her mouth began to twitch and a breathtaking smile started to form. She took the box from my fingers and looked up at me, her wide brown eyes shining with tears.

"Yes." She breathed.

A million unnamed emotions surged through me. I'd waited almost a century to put a ring on the finger of the woman I loved. After so long, I began to think it would never happen.

I let out the breath I'd been holding. "Yes? Really?"

She nodded, a tear slipping from the corner of her eye. "Yes. Really."

I took the box from her and fumbled to get the ring out. I was so excited, my hands were trembling. Taking her left hand in my own, I moved to sit on the bed next to her.

"I promise to love you forever – every day of forever." Then I slipped the ring on her finger and kissed it. I was overwhelmed with emotion at seeing my mother's ring sparkling on Bella's finger. My cheeks were stretched tight as my grin spread impossibly wider. Bella was glowing and her eyes sparkled as she admired the ring as well. "Do you like it?" I asked, suddenly wondering if I should have gotten her something more modern. The oval face contained slanted rows of glittering diamonds surrounded by a fragile web of gold. The band was delicate and narrow. It may have been outdated, but it looked like it belonged on her finger.

"I love it." She looked me in the eye, so I could see she meant it.

"It was the ring that my father gave to my mother. I know it's old fashioned. If you want something different..."

"No!" She cut me off. "It's perfect."

"A perfect fit too." We both stared at the ring on her finger, giddy with excitement.

Bella suddenly flung herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and crashing her lips to mine. "I love you." She repeated over and over as we kissed. I laid her back on the bed and curled up beside her. Weaving my fingers through her long tresses, I pulled her head closer to me as our lips continued to move together, her soft flesh molding to my cold marble.

"I love you too. Forever." I breathed as we lay staring into each other's eyes. It was impossible for either of us to stop grinning.

"When?" Bella asked.

"Whenever you want. Wherever you want. However you want. I just want to be your husband, and make you my wife."

She giggled. "You know Alice is going to be impossible."

I shook my head. "This is _ours_. _We_ will do this however _we_ want to do it. As long as I get you call you my wife at the end of the day, I don't care about the details."

Her eyebrow arched incredulously. "You really think we'll be able to keep her out of this?"

"I'll take care of her, love. Don't worry about it." I promised. I didn't want Bella feeling pressured into anything she wasn't comfortable with, and I knew my sister. Alice would stress Bella out with all her extravagant plans and ideas. She would be relentless.

She nodded, swallowing thickly. "'I want to do it before..."

"Absolutely. Whatever you want. You have no idea how happy you have made me." I captured her lips once more between my own. I could hear my phone vibrating in the other room. This was the fifth call and I knew it was Alice. She could wait. This was between me and Bella and there was a reason I didn't want the family here.

We lay there for a long time looking at our hands clasped together before she spoke. "I'd like to do it as soon as possible. I have to confess that I'm not like other women. I never planned my dream wedding as a little girl, so I have no idea what I want. Honestly, as long as I'm with you, I don't care."

I expected as much from Bella. "Is there anywhere special you'd like to go? Paris? The Caribbean? Hawaii?"

"England?" She asked.

"Why England?"

"Just think of all the history there. All the great novels written there." She blushed. I chuckled, knowing quite well of her passion for classic literature.

"How about the Bronte Parsonage or Jane Austen's House?" I suggested, having already investigated these places for our trip to England this summer.

"Oh really? We could get married where the Bronte sisters lived?" It pleased me greatly to see how much she looked forward to becoming my wife. She had never expressed any interested in getting married in all the time I'd known her. I wasn't sure how she would feel about the proposal, and it was a great relief to know we were on the same page.

"Yes, we could."

"Let's do it!" She bounced a little and her grin was infectious.

"Ok, we will." I agreed with my own grin.

"How soon can we go?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Whenever you want, love. Whenever you're ready."

"Soon." She whispered, and I nodded in agreement.

"I wanted to talk to you anyway about changing you sooner." I searched her face for her reaction. She froze and seemed to be deep in thought.

"Ok." Bella finally replied, nodding absently. "When? Why?"

"I just don't want to risk losing you again. I want you by my side for eternity and the longer we wait, the more opportunities there are for something to go wrong. I'm so afraid that something is going to happen to you and I'll lose you forever." I couldn't look her in the eye. The idea of her being taken away from me was too painful. I gripped her hand more tightly, careful not to hurt her. "I can't live without you."

Her warm hand cupped my cheek and I felt her lips press against my temple. "Me either. Whenever you are ready, so am I." She whispered into my hair.

We'd talk more about the details later. For now, we were both a little emotionally exhausted. I'd give anything to know the thoughts racing through her mind, and I wondered if that would change once she was one of us. I just kept envisioning her in white, placing a gold band on my finger and walking back down the aisle as husband and wife. A pang of sadness hit me when I thought of the children we'd never have. Marriage had always been a dream of mine, and it came with the intention of starting a family. I understood more of Rose's angst in this life now that I imagined a future with Bella. We'd forever be teenagers, and while I'd have her by my side for always, the things that most couples looked forward to when starting out their lives would never be an option for us. I tried to reroute my brain towards a more positive train of thought, but heard the boat approaching.

"They're almost home." I told her. They shouldn't be back so soon, but I knew Alice would have filled them in, and in their excitement, they simply could not stay away any longer.

She sighed. As much as we loved our family, we enjoyed our time alone together much more.

"Do you really think Rosalie has changed?" She asked apprehensively.

I shrugged and stroked her hair to comfort her. "I'm not sure. I can't be sure until she's here."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to face Alice." She grimaced.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you from the irritating little pixie." That earned me a smile. I knew she'd be uneasy about the attention she was about to get. My family would make her the center of their focus as soon as they came through the doors. Alice would have told them everything already. Bella was a private person and we would have been happy to keep it to ourselves, at least for a while, but when your sister is practically omniscient, there isn't much you can keep secret. I stood up and offered her my hand. "Shall we?" She gave me a rueful smile and took my proffered hand. I led her to the living room where we sat on the couch awaiting the arrival of the family.

There wasn't a bedroom for Em and Rose, but they insisted they didn't need one. Construction on the house would go by quickly, and then we'd have plenty of room. Another month in a crowded cabin wouldn't be too intolerable, as long as the two new arrivals toned down their sexual endeavors.

Sure enough I heard Alice approaching the cabin at warp speed as soon as the boat hit the dock. I pulled Bella to a standing position slightly behind me to protect her from being tackled by the exuberant white and black blur that was about to crash through the door.

Alice stopped a few inches in front of me, her hands on her hips and one eyebrow arched delicately. _As excited as I am for you two, how could you?_

"How could I what?" I asked out loud, looking pointedly at Bella who strongly disliked our silent conversations.

"Bellaaaaaa!" My tiny sister whined. "How could you not let me plan your wedding? Don't you love me?"

"Of course we love you, Alice. However, this is _our_ wedding, and _we_ want to plan it." Bella explained from her position behind me.

Alice huffed. _Just wait, I'll get her to change her mind._

"Alice." I warned. "I want you to leave me and Bella alone about this. No begging or bribing or guilt trips. If we want advice, we will ask for it. Otherwise, back off."

The rest of the family had joined us and waited anxiously by the door to see how this played out. Except for Jasper who laid a restraining hand on his wife's shoulder. _She's been fuming over this since you made the decision._

"But we've been waiting for soooo long for this to happen for you. You can't take away all my fun."

"Alice, I'm serious. I've been waiting for this day as well, and Bella and I are going to do things the way we'd like them to be done. End of discussion."

Alice's eyes glazed over and she little mouth set in a grim line. "You're right. There's no changing your mind." Her face immediately split into a huge grin. "I guess congratulations are in order then." She pushed me out of the way and threw her arms around Bella, before grabbing her hand to see the ring I'd placed there. Esme and Rose quickly joined her and after admiring the ring, she was swept up in a group hug between the other women in our lives. Em clapped me on the back so hard that I staggered and Jasper chuckled.

_Way to go brother! It's about time you put a ring on her finger._

_I'm happy for you, Edward. You deserve this happiness._

Carlisle lingered behind my two brothers, a look of glowing pride on his face. Once they cleared out, he wrapped his arms around me. "Congratulations, my son. May your years together be filled with many blessings. I had always hoped to see this day." We shared a quiet moment and his eyes shimmered with emotion. Then Esme joined him, and if she could, she'd be weeping for joy. She fiercely embraced me, her thoughts a jumble of pure joy and happiness that I had finally found, and accepted, the other half to my heart. The reality that the last of her children had found love was bittersweet, and she reminded herself that she was not losing a son, but was indeed gaining a daughter. These two figures before me were the closest thing I had to a mother and father, and I liked to think their feelings for me on this day would have mirrored my human parents', had I been lucky enough to find a woman to love in our time. I couldn't express in words how much it meant to see my mother's ring on Bella's finger. While she could not be here in person, she would always be in my heart. It was a tangible reminder of how much a little bronze haired boy had always loved his mother.

There were greetings and congratulations going all around. Rose approached me cautiously. _I really am sorry, Edward. I promise to accept Bella as a sister and wish nothing but the best for you both._ I nodded, acknowledging her words, though I would only believe them once her actions supported them. My sister was fiercely loyal and I knew she considered Bella a threat to our family's security and happiness. It remained to be seen if she now truly included Bella in her definition of family, but it did seem like she was on the right path. I detected no hint of the previous vitriol that infected her thoughts concerning Bella, so I held onto hope.

The cabin was buzzing with excitement and conversation. Em and Rose were already filling us in on their travels and hunting adventures, while Alice showed them the large closet she had prepared for them to use as a dressing room. Rose didn't try to hide her contempt at the small, rustic space we'd be sharing, but she also didn't complain as loudly as usual. Emmett regaled us with tales of the giant anaconda he wrestled in Venezuela.

"It was twenty-three feet long. Not as big as the last one, but it was almost as thick around as me!"

Bella's eyes were wide as saucers as she was no doubt picturing the huge snake wrapped around Emmett. "You didn't kill it, right? I mean, snakes don't have blood to drink, do they?"

Em threw his head back and laughed. "Of course they do! It doesn't taste very good, but they do have blood."

Rose shook her head. "You should have seen him thrashing around in the river with the thing. Poor snake's teeth shattered the first time it tried to bite him."

Bella looked horrified.

"Emmett likes to play with his food." I whispered to her.

"It's just not right." She mumbled. The mood turned somber and Emmett frowned when he heard her.

_I was just having a little bit of fun. I mean it's just a snake. Bears I could understand her being upset about. Those little cubs are adorable and I stay away from the mothers. Maybe she's right. I probably shouldn't prolong their suffering. That isn't right. She's right._

_She's right._ Carlisle, ever the compassionate one, disapproved of his youngest son's need to taunt his prey before feeding.

I nodded in response to both their thoughts. Bella was going to be as compassionate as Carlisle. At least, she would be once she learned to control her thirst. Her compassion might even aid her in overcoming the newborn blood lust more easily. The thought of her leaping on the back of a jaguar and sinking her teeth into it's jugular stirred something inside of me. It was an erotic vision, and suddenly I couldn't wait to watch her hunt – to see her throat constricting as she gulped down the hot blood pulsing from the neck of her prey. I shifted, crossing my legs to conceal my arousal, though Jasper sensed my lust and smirked. He wondered what I could have been thinking about at that moment to cause that kind of reaction. I shook my head to clear the images from my mind.

Bella stood up and crossed the room to give Emmett a hug. He looked like someone had just told him Santa wasn't real and was going over the animals he had unintentionally harmed in the name of fun.

"I'm sorry Em. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or ruin your fun." She whispered.

He shook his head. "No, you're right Bella. I never saw it like that before. I mean, the rest of the family has always made jokes about me playing with my food, and you know me, I just laughed along with them. Hearing it like that and seeing your reaction made me think about how wrong it really is to cause those animals any more suffering than necessary. Everyone else always snaps the neck as soon as they pounce." He looked up at Carlisle, and then to me. "Why didn't anyone say anything before now? I thought you guys just wanted to reduce the mess or something. I never thought about it being more humane for the animal."

Carlisle came to lay a hand on Em's shoulder. "I believe we did bring it up when we were first showing you how to hunt. You've never been unnecessarily cruel, Emmett. Most of the time you just allow those bears to attack you. They may sustain some injury, of course, but you don't go out of your way to hurt them, just get them riled up."

He nodded and smirked. "You don't have to defend me, Pops."

Carlisle swatted the back of his head playfully. _Pops!_ Carlisle scoffed internally.

And just like that, Emmett was back to his jovial self and let out a laugh. Rose rolled her eyes. Jasper pulled Alice onto his lap and they smiled at each other. Esme settled herself into Carlisle's arms. Bella bit her lip, still feeling uneasy about speaking up. I gestured for her to come over and sit by me. I wanted to nibble on that lip, and I did. Sliding my hands a little further down her backside than I probably should have in front of my family, I pulled her to me for a searing kiss.

Unfortunately, Emmett didn't miss a beat, especially when Bella's tiny warm hand rested on my upper thigh as she sat next to me. His eyes grew wide as saucers and I saw the thoughts forming in his head before he spoke them. I growled softly and sent him a warning glare, but it was too much of an opportunity for him to resist.

"Oh. Oh! Man! Eddie is finally getting some!" He leapt up, pointing wildly between Bella and I, a grin splitting his face. Then he headed over with his hand extended for a high five, but I refused to reciprocate. "Nothing to be ashamed of, brother. Enjoy! It's about time! Let me know if you need any advice." Bella was a bright shade of red. Though the rest of the family knew that our relationship had moved forward, it was news to Em and Rose. Rose merely raised her eyebrows and winked at Bella. Emmett refused to drop it for the remainder of the evening. Any time Bella and I got too close, or if we left him any kind of opening, he was waiting with some kind of teasing innuendo that kept Bella in various stages of blush throughout the night. She finally got fed up with his ribbing though, and after a particularly disparaging remark about my lack of experience, she spoke up.

"Emmett, you know, usually people resort to making fun of others when they are insecure about their own _performance_. If you'd like, I'm sure Edward could give you a few pointers. While he may not have the years of experience that you do, I assure you, there is _nothing_ lacking about him." She smirked, and manged not to blush, while Em stood there gaping at her. She leaned in closer and lowered her voice. "It's not about the quantity after all, it's the quality, and believe me, Edward satisfies my _every need_." Bella winked at him before she turned on her heel and sauntered out of the kitchen - she didn't stumble once. The entire family was shaking as they tried to hold back their laughter. It was the last thing they expected out of the mouth of the shy, reserved Bella they thought they knew.

_That's my girl! _ Even Rose seemed impressed, though she made her way to Em's side and whispered reassuringly that he satisfied her quite well.

With that short exchange, Bella had gained a new respect from the pair of them. It wasn't much later when my two siblings excused themselves to 'explore the island." There was no doubt in my mind that they would be christening a few trees, and I quickly focused my attention on the beautiful woman beside me in hopes that I wouldn't be privy to any fantasies currently playing in their minds. I had my own.


	21. Chapter 21

"There has to be something I can do!" Bella growled at me.

We had been working on the new house for a week and it was almost finished. Construction goes by quickly when you don't need to eat or sleep, or when your muscles don't tire or ache, or when you can move at lightening speed, or possess supernatural strength. For Bella, being human of course, this week had been miserable. She was adorably angry as she stood there, her arms crossed over her chest and her hip jutted out just so.

There was nothing she could really help with on the house. As horrible as it sounded, she really would be in the way and quite the liability. It was no secret that she attracted trouble like no one else, and putting her in the middle of a construction site with a bunch of vampires was a recipe for disaster. Esme kept promising she could help on the interior, and I'd begged her to let Bella handle what she could in our room, such as the spackle and painting. I would work with her at human pace even though I could have it done in a fraction of the time. This was about making her feel like she was a part of the family – that she could contribute and be useful. I'd be damned if I did anything to damage what self-confidence she'd gained.

We had set her up with a canopy and hammock, and every morning Esme had a picnic basket and cooler filled with enough food to last her through the day. There was only so much time Bella could spend being idle before she got twitchy, and spending the winter stuck in a cabin on the island had been long enough for us already.

I was measuring and cutting sheet rock, and frankly there was no way I was letting her anywhere near the saw. Visions of detached fingers floated through my mind, and Bella's human status meant they would not reattach as mine would – though the blade would shatter before severing any of my appendages.

The family knew our room was off limits as soon as it was to a certain point of construction and I had set aside a set of tasks she could handle that would not endanger her life. Later today, after Rose had finished the rest of the house, Bella would be spraying the insulation into the walls in our room. I would have preferred to do it because the fumes and particles were not dangerous to me, but with the proper safety equipment, I figured it was safe enough even for someone as clumsy as Bella. I hated this. As much as it made sense for us to do all the work, I hated the way it made her feel.

"You'll be doing the insulation in our room later today." I told her, hoping that would appease her for the moment.

"Why can't I do it for the whole house?" She pouted.

Good question. Thankfully Alice came to my rescue. "Bella! Rose wants to show you how to do the insulation." She handed her coveralls and safety mask. "She wants to work on her bathroom today, so she thought you might like to take over for her."

Bella glared at both me and Alice, knowing exactly what transpired. She had always been far too observant, and had only grown more so since living with us full time. It was almost as difficult to get anything past her as it was Alice or myself.

My sister shot me an apologetic smile. Just trying to help. Rose won't mind, and it keeps you two from arguing later. I saw the vision in her head of Bella going off into the woods angry and twisting her ankle.

We nodded at each other in understanding and Bella huffed. Our silent conversations annoyed her. She quickly pulled on the coveralls and the mask. Alice's nose scrunched up in distaste for the outfit and she quickly traipsed off with visions of shopping for Bella in her head.

"I guess I'm ready to work, Edward. Who is going to show me what to do?" Bella's voice was muffled by the mask and I knew she'd be sweaty and uncomfortable in a matter of minutes. Which made me wonder why she would want to do this when she could be relaxing comfortably in the hammock, but I knew she needed to feel useful.

"Rose!" I called for my other sister. Immediately Rose and Em zipped around the house to collect Bella.

"Take me to your leader." Em quipped at Bella's outfit and she growled.

Bella pulled the mask off, glaring at the big oaf before turning to Rose with a sarcastic smile. "I'm ready to be put to work."

Rose smirked and gestured for Bella to follow her to the house. Em followed behind them, continuing his harassment of Bella. I shook my head knowing that once Bella was a vampire, his hazing would be met with retaliation from a volatile newborn and that would be sweet revenge for all of us.

It wasn't long before I heard the hum of the sprayer and the wet squelch of the insulation expanding. About ten minutes later raucous laughter rang out and I caught a glimpse of what caused the uproar in Rose's thoughts. The rest of us raced from our various points in and out of the house to find a humanoid-shaped mound of insulation in the middle of Rose and Em's bedroom. Apparently, Bella thought being encased in insulation would shut Emmett up.

In between giggles, Bella choked out, "Stay Puft Marshmallow Man," which caused a fresh round of laughter to erupt. Emmett's form began to crack as he moved about, but the insulation was firmly affixed to his skin and clothing. He began frantically punching at the substance, crumbling and breaking off as much of it as he could. This, along with Jasper being so lost in the moment that he was broadcasting his own amusement, magnified our own. It took quite a while for us all to calm down. After Emmett had removed as much of the gunk as he could, there was still a fine layer of silt coating him because of the adhesive.

Turning a murderous glare on Bella, he bellowed out her name in warning, and then followed with threats of revenge. I knew I would have to keep tabs on him over the coming months to make sure he didn't take things too far. Em had trouble remembering just how fragile his little human sister was sometimes.

Rose took charge of her husband and they went to get him cleaned up. With a satisfied smirk on her beautiful face, Bella pulled down her mask and resumed her work. Everyone else dispersed now that the entertainment was over, though their thoughts were full of amusement and respect for Bella getting back at our prankster brother once again. Things had been much more fun on the island now that he had arrived, and even Rosalie had abandoned her usual dour moods. We were all seeing a side of her we had longed for, and it was nice to have her as a sister. Something had happened between the time in Denali and when they returned, but if anyone knew, they never thought about it. Rose seemed to offer Emmett more respect these days, and after so many decades together, it was nice to see the positive changes. She was even making a definite effort with Bella and had accepted her place in our family. I could see the affect each of my family members had on Bella. With Emmett around, she laughed and smiled more, and Rosalie's acceptance chased away the last lingering doubts she had about truly belonging.

The construction of the house was going smoothly. We had done this many times, and we each knew our roles. Bella worked quite swiftly, for a human. Though it really didn't matter if it was one of us, or Bella, who did the insulation, as we could only move as fast as the sprayer. It had been Emmett's job to follow behind her, trimming off the excess, but Alice had taken over for him. I knew Bella would enjoy her best friend's company much more than Emmett's relentless heckling. As soon as Jasper finished the wiring in a room, Bella and Alice moved in. When they were done, it was my turn to install the Sheetrock. The finishing touches were left to Carlisle and Esme for the moment. Emmett and Rose were already tucked away in their bathroom working on the tile. Bella finished in their suite first and they were anxious to complete it. The lack of privacy in the small cabin had put a damper on the couple's usual affections. They were more than ready for a space of their own.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Every room except for ours had been insulated and the walls were up. Starting tomorrow, Bella and I would be locked away in our suite, working together to finish it. Everything was different now that I had someone to share this with and the feeling was indescribable. I finally had a future, an eternity, with someone I loved more than anything. Every day with Bella by my side would always be a blessing. Creating this room together was a start, and I knew we'd be doing this more times than I could count in the future – always together.

It was later that night, after Bella had fallen asleep, that Alice came barreling into the cabin with news that could destroy any chance of a happily ever after for us.

~~**~~

"Then we'll change her tomorrow." I spat. There had to be some way to guarantee Bella's safety.

My visionary sister shook her head. "There isn't enough time." _She would be too new and __inexperienced._

We'd been at this for a while now.

Alice had finally seen what Victoria was planning. Jasper and Carlisle had been discussing the recent murder spree in Seattle, and my brother was sure that the pattern implicated quite a few newborn vampires. That was all it took for Alice's mind to unlock the final pieces.

Victoria was building an army of newborn vampires and planning to come after our family.

So much was still up in the air though and there didn't seem to be a possibility of a decent ending. Victoria had not settled on a final plan, and without that, Alice's visions were sketchy. One thing we _had_ figured out was that we needed to go to Washington to head them off. The path of destruction they would cut through North America on their way to us must be avoided.

My main concern was, of course, Bella; and she was the main target.

We threw around the idea of leaving her out here with Carmen and Eleazar, but it was clear we would need them in this fight. The number of newborns kept changing and we would be outnumbered. Alice didn't see anything particularly horrible happening to her if we left here out here alone, but there was no way I was going to agree to that, so she would be coming with us.

We considered involving the Volturi, but Alice saw that they wouldn't help, and it would cause even more scrutiny to fall on our family since this menace was created specifically because of our actions.

There were just too many decisions to be made on either side, and the outcome was unclear.

Not much later, Jasper joined us. He knew Alice had seen something important, but it had always been our routine to try to sort these things out first, before involving the rest of the family. We would make decisions and she would search to see how the outcome was affected. It was always me and her because we could do it non-verbally, saving our family from some of the more gruesome details.

"So...newborn army?" He asked, eyebrows raised and mouth set in a grim line. Alice nodded, their gazed locked on one another.

"Victoria." I added.

Jasper nodded solemnly."How many are we dealing with?" Before he found Alice, Jasper had been involved in the sinister world of the Southern Vampire Armies. Things were very different for our kind in the South, and my brother had been a well-respected leader of many newborn armies for his sire, Maria. He spent nearly a century lost to this world, and though it was a dark part of his history he would rather forget, I'd never been so thankful for his past experience as I was now. If anyone could pull us through this, it was him.

"It varies, so I can't get a clear count, but the least I've seen is seventeen." Alice explained meekly.

Jasper hissed, clearly unhappy with the odds. His years of military experience kicked into gear and I saw the scenarios he was running through his head.

"It's best if we go there. We'd have the element of surprise, and the sooner the better. We don't want to give them any more time to train them or increase their numbers." Alice and I nodded in agreement.

"We have nine, and if we can get the Denali sisters to help, that gives us twelve. It's not an even fight, but after I train you all, we would have the advantage." He continued.

"I guess we need to let the rest of the family know what is going on so we can solidify some plans." Carlisle would need to contact the wolves and it would probably be best for Eleazar to call Denali.

I knew Bella would be fine, so we headed back over to the building site where the rest of our family was still working on the new house.

"Carlisle!" I called out. "We need to have a family meeting. Alice has news of Victoria."

Our patriarch flashed out of the house and the others soon followed."What have you seen?" He asked her.

"I've been getting flashing of Victoria for a while, but I could never put anything concrete together. Today, I heard you and Jasper talking about the deaths in Seattle, and it must have triggered something because it all came together." She paused, looking sideways at me, and I nodded in encouragement for her to finish. "Victoria is building an army of newborn vampires. She plans to come after our family." Rose and Esme gasped at the revelation. Emmett's entire body tensed up, ready for the fight. Their thoughts were so protective of our family, especially Bella.

"It's best if we seek them out in Washington, before they have a chance to organize or grow much more in number." Jasper offered and Carlisle nodded in agreement.

"Should we involve the Volturi?" Carlisle looked to Alice for an answer, and she let him know that it would not be in our best interests.

"You should alert the wolves, and Eleazar should call the sisters to see if they would be willing to help."

"How many are there?"

"I can't pin down a number, it seems to be constantly changing. The least I've seen is seventeen."

"Which means we'd still be outnumbered." Carlisle murmured, his mind automatically turning to acquaintances he might be able to ask for help.

"I can call Peter and Charlotte." Jasper offered, turning to Alice for approval. After a moment of haze, she nodded.

"They'll come." Then she turned back to Carlisle. "Kate will definitely help, but I don't know about the others."

Jasper smirked. "Peter, Charlotte, and I can take on multiple newborns at once. It's what we were made for. Once I train you all, we'd most likely come out of this unscathed. Newborns are volatile and strong, but they aren't skilled. We also have many talents on our side."

Carlisle caught my eye. _What about Bella?_

"We can't leave her here unattended, so she has to come with us. Alice hasn't seen anything as of yet. I thought we might go ahead and change her..."

"No." Carlisle and Jasper spoke at the same time.

"She'd be more of a liability as a newborn. There isn't enough time to train her." Jasper explained.

_I know this isn't what you want to hear, son. _"Bella may be more fragile as a human, but if she incurred a life-threatening injury, we could change her then. If she were destroyed as a vampire, there would be no second chance."

I nodded, not sure what could be done. Bella had to be kept safe, but we needed each one of us to take the newborn army out. She couldn't' very well sit in the middle of the battlefield and should one of them find her, alone and unprotected, there were no guarantees one of us could get to her in time. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. Maybe leaving her alone on the island was the best course of action. She wouldn't be anywhere near the fight and surely no vampires would find their way out here to our island in our absence. It would only be a few days...

Jasper and Carlisle were trying to pin down a timetable. Alice didn't see Victoria starting across the country for another month, and it would take them a couple days to make the journey. It's not like a bunch of newborn vampires could just hop on a plane full of humans and fly over. The plane would be a blood bath by the time it landed.

The plan started to form. We would train for a week, and then fly back to Washington. Once there, we would scout out Seattle and try to pick off as many of the newborns as possible before the alarm was raised. It might be possible to even up the numbers before Victoria was aware we were even in the area.

Carmen and Eleazar were going to come stay on the island with us until it was time to go. With the extra help, we could finish the house in a couple of days, and then there would be plenty of room for everyone to have their own space.

It amazed me how quickly things could change. We were just celebrating our engagement and looking forward to a wedding. Now we had an army of newborns created solely to destroy our family. The innocent lives that Victoria had taken appalled me, not to mention the feeding frenzy taking place in Seattle in order to keep all those newborn satiated. All of this because of a sadistic tracker who picked the wrong family to mess with. This all should have ended with James' death. _He_ was the one who wanted to play games and fixate on Bella. _He_ was the one who nearly killed her. We merely defended what was ours. If the bastard meant so much to Victoria, why wasn't she there to help him? The whole situation was ridiculous, and there was no doubt in my mind Victoria would die. Part of me was furious the Volturi had not stepped in yet. She was being reckless and risked exposing us all. At least the vampire armies in the Southern states were as discreet as possible. They had no desire to see a repeat of the Volturi's wrath. Victoria just didn't care, or maybe she thought she was untouchable. Now my own family had to risk their lives to clean up this mess, and it didn't sit well with me that Bella would be in so much danger. I knew Bella would want to go though. The destruction of human life would weigh too heavily on her conscience and she would definitely want us to stop the red-headed bitch before anymore lives were lost.

The initial planning was over. We'd have to wait until we were there before we could take it any further. The family dispersed, and I ran back to the cabin to be with Bella. Carlisle would call Sam in the morning, since the wolves still slept. Eleazar would let us know what the sisters said, though we'd know as soon as they decided. Alice was keeping an eye on as much of the future as she could, and everyone seemed optimistic we could handle this. Everyone, except for me. I was too terrified that something would happen to Bella. It would be entirely too easy for one of them to slip out of our sight and go after her.

I would not lose her.

~~**~~

Peter and Charlotte were going to meet us in Forks.

Irina was appalled that Laurent was involved with Victoria's plan to destroy us, and pledged that she would help us in any way she could.

We already knew Kate would join us.

Tanya insisted she owed us for her betrayal, and she would be joining us as well.

So the three sisters would also be meeting us there.

That gave us fourteen vampires.

The wolves had destroyed two newborns who ventured too close to Charlie's house. We conjectured that Victoria might be trying to get to Charlie in order to use him as bait for Bella. They'd already used that tactic in Phoenix with Renee, so I wouldn't put it past her to try it again. Thankfully there was a pack of werewolves keeping him, and the rest of the town, safe. They were eager to help, but wary of getting involved in any kind of fight. Their concern was their own tribe and the town of Forks.

As a family, we sat down with Bella as soon as she woke and informed her of the situation. She insisted on going, as we knew she would. Further surprising me, she offered herself as bait to draw Victoria out. Jasper considered the idea, a little too seriously for my comfort, and I immediately objected as expected, earning me a scowl from Bella.

"Change me then!" She hissed.

It was what both of us now wanted, but it wasn't the time. Thankfully, Jasper spoke up. "There just wouldn't be enough time to train you properly, Bella. You would be more of a liability as a newborn than a human." He explained to her and Carlisle agreed. Bella reluctantly accepted their reasoning, and we continued to explain the plan.

We still didn't have any concrete ideas on how to keep her safe while we were otherwise engaged, but hopefully that could be worked out easily once we got there and saw what we were dealing with.

The rest of the family had taken off for the new house after that, and I stayed behind while Bella made herself something for lunch.

"Are you ok, love?" I asked her as she pushed her food around on her plate.

She nodded, still not making eye contact with me. "Yeah, just hate being the weakest link."

I quickly wrapped her in my arms and pulled her onto my lap. "I know it's hard for you to sit back and let us do all the fighting. That's all going to change soon enough. Though I seriously hope this is the last of the drama for at least a century. I can't promise I won't still be the overprotective pain in the ass I've always been. Even when you're more durable, I'll still be worried about your safety. That's just because I love you and can't live without you." Red heat flooded her cheeks and she ducked her head. I gently tilted her chin up so I could see her face and place a soft kiss on her sweet lips. "I thought we should change you too, but Carlisle and Jasper are right. There isn't enough time. I don't know what we'll do to keep you safe, but we'll figure something out once we know exactly what we're dealing with. I won't let anything happen to you."

"You better not let anything happen to you either." She whispered fervently. "I'll kill the bitch myself if she harms any member of my family." An involuntary smile crept across my face at her loyalty to our family. Her fierceness rivaled Rosalie's when it came to protecting those she loves. She'd already proven that. I prayed that the wolves were able to keep Charlie safe, because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if Victoria got her claws on him, Bella would willingly trade her life for her father's.

"Let's go work on our new room." I suggested, and she reluctantly vacated my lap, taking her dishes to the sink. Gently nudging her out of the way, I made her go get ready while I washed up.

When she came back out, Bella quickly made her way over to me and fisted my shirt, pulling me close. She looked up at me from under those long, dark lashes and was biting her lip. I suppressed the groan and willed away the erection that was stirring. I'd never been attracted to another woman before Bella and was amazed at the reaction my body had to her mere presence in the room.

"Thank you." She murmured.

"For what?" I asked, confused.

"For talking to me about all of this instead of trying to protect me from knowing what was going on."

I nodded. In the past, I had a tendency to keep things from her, thinking she was better off not knowing. She could always tell when I was keeping something from her too, and it upset her. It contributed to her feelings of being unworthy. We were in this together and we had to be honest with each other, even if I wanted to protect her from the more terrible things that happened amongst our kind. This was her world too now, and she had a right to know.

I knew she would struggle with the guilt of putting our family in harm's way once again, especially when she couldn't stand with us and fight. She would blame herself for Victoria's actions, because she was the reason all of this started. Truthfully, we were eager to take the red-head and her army out, not only for Bella's sake, but also because of her reckless actions in taking so many human lives unnecessarily. This went beyond a need to feed. Victoria was turning humans out of vengeance and that was something we couldn't tolerate. If we didn't handle her now, more lives would be lost, and the Volturi would step in eventually. They tended to take things a little too far, and we couldn't be sure of how they would react if they found out Victoria did all of this to get revenge on our family. They may decide that our family was too much trouble and sentence us to be destroyed. There would be no escaping them either – they had entirely too many powerful vampires in their guard.

"Promise me something, Bella?" I asked, my lips gently brushed against the shell of her ear.

"Anything." She breathed.

"Promise me that you won't blame yourself for Victoria?" Bella tensed up and I pulled back so I could see her face. Her bottom lip was caught in her teeth again and I gently freed it with my thumb.

She closed her eyes and let out a harsh breath, before meeting my gaze. "I'll try, Edward. I just know that if it weren't for me, this whole thing with James and Victoria would never have happened and all those people in Seattle would still be alive."

"Shh." I pressed my lips to hers to still them. "It's not _your_ fault James fixated on you. It was wrong of him to track you across the country and try to kill you. This is on him, love."

"And Victoria?"

"Well, she wasn't there to help him, so maybe this is some way for her to make it up to him posthumously?" She snorted. "I don't know, Bella, but the lives taken in Seattle aren't your fault. Victoria is the one who has a vendetta, and _she_ is the one doing this. There is no reason for her to go to these extremes and we're not going to sit back and let her continue."

"I wish I could help." She mumbled into my chest.

"I know you do." I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "The best way you can help is to do what we say and stay out of the way." I gently took her face in my hands, but made sure she saw how serious I was. "I mean it, Bella. I don't want a repeat of Phoenix. I don't care what she tries, you are not going to run off and try to fix this on your own. Promise me you won't do anything reckless like that again?" She flinched at the familiar words and I realized my mistake. "Shit. I'm sorry..."

Bella shook her head fervently, placing her warm hand on my chest. "No." She rasped. "I know this isn't the same thing and I promise. I'll be good...but so help me...if she..."

I cut her off with another kiss. "She won't. We'll be fine. Victoria has no experience leading a newborn army and Jasper is more than capable of turning this whole situation around to our advantage. With our experience and gifts, there is nothing to worry about."

"I just...I can't lose you..." She sobbed out.

"You won't. I promise. '_And neither the angels in heaven above; Nor the demons down under the sea; Can ever dissever my soul from the soul; Of the beautiful Isabella Marie.'"_

A smile tugged at her lips and she slapped my chest lightly. "You are so cheesy, Edward Cullen."

"I know." I grinned at her, happy to have lightened the mood a bit. "But it's true. Nothing can tear me away from you. Never again, Bella. You're stuck with me for eternity."

"Good." She breathed and I kissed away the tears that had escaped down her cheeks, savoring the salty liquid on my tongue before the venom dissolved it.

We shared a sweet kiss and then I grasped her tiny hand in my own and led her from the cabin. We walked quietly through the woods over to the new house. It would have been faster to run with her, but we needed this peaceful time alone to clear our minds and calm down. Sure, I was scared, but I knew we had the advantage. I just had to make sure that Bella was safe, and if that meant I never left her side, then that's what I would do.


	22. Chapter 22

The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon. We would be leaving for Forks later today and I was dreading the unknown that we were walking into. Bella was sleeping peacefully for the moment, but it had been a rough night for her. She had a hard time falling asleep, and once she finally succumbed to slumber, she tossed and turned for most of the night. Which made my most recent decision all that harder to make, but I needed the connection with her and I knew we wouldn't get a chance once we were back in Washington. It wouldn't be long before Alice came over to rouse us anyway, and my version of a wake-up call was much more pleasant than my sister's.

The rest of the family had spent the night putting the finishing touches on the new house, wanting it to be done before we left. Our suite was ready and waiting for us, but Bella wanted to wait until we returned before we spent the night there. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. She was all warm and soft with sleep, her features relaxed and serene. One leg was thrown over mine and her knee mere inches my hardening member. The girl was asleep and still driving me insane with need. I delicately extricated myself out from under her and she rolled onto her back, dark hair spilling out on the pillow beneath her and one arm reaching out unconsciously towards my spot. After making sure she was still sleeping, I gently peeled the covers off of her sleeping form. Her thermal shirt had ridden up, revealing the smooth, pale skin of her stomach, and she had long since given up wearing shorts to bed. Her pale pink panties were not provocative by any means, but she could make anything look sexy. I wanted to wake her up slowly, so I began lightly stroking her thighs and hips, letting my fingertips trace the outline of her panties. Bella hummed in her sleep and a slight smile played on her lips.

I carefully ripped the panties at the sides and pulled the fabric away from her skin, leaving her completely exposed. Her scent swirled through the air and I inhaled greedily. This was the very essence of Bella. I was painfully hard now that my face was inches from her most sensitive area, and the venom pooled in my mouth at the thought of tasting her, not her blood, just her. Continuing with the slow torture, I lightly traced her lips with my fingers, watching her start to fidget and whimper in her sleep. When I grazed her nub with my thumb, her hips jerked and her brown eyes popped open, lids heavy with sleep and lust.

"Edward..." She whispered, her voice husky.

"Morning, beautiful." I murmured back.

She was wet for me now, and I couldn't deny myself any longer. Spreading her lips with my fingers, I began to explore her folds with my tongue. A low growl escaped from my chest as her taste flooded my senses. It was all I could do to stop myself from burying myself into her. I knew she would be tight and hot and wet, and I longed for us to be joined like that, but we were waiting for our wedding night before we finally consummated our relationship. Even then I wasn't entirely sure I'd manage to control myself. My greatest fear was hurting her, but I'd promised we'd try. For now, this would do. I continued to assault her with my tongue and lips, keeping my teeth carefully shielded from her delicate skin. Bella loved my mouth on her. It drove her crazy, causing her to writhe and moan in the most delicious of ways. I loved the way her hands gripped my hair when my tongue delved into her opening. The vibrations against her skin when I purred worked her into even more of a frenzy and it wouldn't be long before her release flooded through her and over my tongue. She was most beautiful in the throes of orgasm and seeing what pleasure I could bring to her made my heart, along with my cock, swell with love. I'd endured enough teasing from Emmett through the years to harbor some insecurity when it came to sexual activity, or lack thereof. Though I had seen almost ever erotic act known to mankind through the minds of others, I'd never actually physically done anything before Bella. We were learning together, and it didn't take long before we knew what the other liked most and how to bring each other the most pleasure possible under the circumstances.

Bella's legs began to tremble around me and I slipped two fingers inside her, knowing this would send her over the edge. I watched her come undone as I curled my fingers, hitting the spot that would cause her to shatter. As she came, her head thrown back in ecstasy, I slowed my tongue, keeping constant, but gentle pressure on her throbbing bundle of nerves, prolonging her pleasure. Her legs fell to the bed as she came down from her peak, and her breaths were labored. She twitched and shuddered with aftershocks as I pressed gentle kisses to her oversensitive folds. The smile on her face was breathtaking and I couldn't help but kiss her, knowing she could taste herself on me.

"I want you inside me so badly." She murmured.

"I know. I want to _be_ inside you so badly, but I think we're doing the right thing by waiting."

She nodded, nuzzling her face into my neck, thoroughly sated. Her warm little hand trailed down my chest and grasped my shaft through my flannel pajama bottoms. I hissed in pleasure at the contact.

"I wish you'd let me taste _you_." Bella whispered.

"You _know_ why..." I began, but she shut me up with a kiss as she began to stroke me through my pants.

Her fingers snaked inside my waistband and feeling her warm skin directly on my painful erection nearly caused me to lose it right then. It was beautiful torture. Bella continued to assault my lips and neck as she worked her hand steadily up and down my shaft, swiping over the head every so often. I would have loved for her to take me into her mouth, knowing it would feel exquisite. However, I was concerned about her ingesting any venom that may leak from my body and a small part of me felt like the act might be degrading to her. I knew my brothers and sisters had no such qualms about fellatio, but it was still hard to reconcile with my antiquated morals. It just seemed so vulgar, and Bella was made to be worshiped. Emmett tried to convince me that if _that_ were to ever happen between me and Bella that I would forget my hesitation and be begging her to do it every day after that.

My body responded to Bella's touch like none other, and it wasn't long before I felt that familiar coiling in my lower body, my balls tightening in anticipation of my orgasm. I rolled to my back and locked my fingers behind my head, too afraid I might accidentally lash out in the throes of passion. She sat up then and pulled my pants down my thighs, pressing soft kisses to my hipbones as her hand found me again. The ends of her hair brushed sensually against my thighs and hips as she watched with rapt attention as her hand worked me over. The sight of her parted lips and glassy eyes as she saw what she was doing to me, pushed me over the edge, and I snarled and let loose a few expletives as I found my release. All my muscles tensed and released, leaving me panting for air I no longer needed. I felt like I had been immersed in warm honey and closed my eyes to enjoy the aftermath. Bella curled up against my side, softly caressing the planes of my torso and causing my stomach muscles to twitch whenever she hit a sensitive spot. I'd never been more content, more fulfilled, than in the moments following our lovemaking.

"I love you." I murmured. Her lips pressed against mine and she repeated the words against my skin, her breath ghosting over my oversensitive flesh. My joy was overwhelming. Bella was everything. And we were about to walk into an unknown situation involving an army of vampires created to destroy her and my family. Reality came crashing down around me and I heard Alice warning me through her thoughts.

"We have about ten minutes before Alice invades." I told Bella, who groaned as expected.

With one last lingering kiss, I disentangled myself from her and shoved her playfully towards the edge of the bed. Bella quickly gathered her clothes and toiletries and dashed off to the bathroom. After a quick clean-up, I dressed in clean clothes and moved to the kitchen to fix Bella something for breakfast. It wasn't long before Alice burst through the front door with a sheepish Jasper following behind her.

"Good morning, brother?" She asked, a playful glint in her eye. Alice was amazing considering the fact that she frequently saw her loved ones in compromising positions, not to mention the heavy burden she carried of seeing what was to come, whether good or bad. Despite all of this, she maintained such a bright attitude. Her zest for this life was infectious and I could see how good she was for Jasper, whose personality tended to lurk on the quieter, more conservative end of the scale. They were good for each other, actually, as he helped reign her in sometimes when needed. I also realized that I needed to spend more time with them both.

"As long as she's by my side, it always is." I replied, unable to keep the stupid grin off my face. Even Jasper was grinning, enjoying the lighter emotional atmosphere. He'd confided that Bella's presence in our lives made it easier on him, because everyone was much happier. I hoped that would always be the case. Even Rose seemed to be happier these days.

"She always will be." Alice advised knowingly, before heading into our room to pack our bags for the trip. We were more than capable of doing it ourselves, but Alice enjoyed doing these things for us, and since we had refused to let her play wedding planner, it was the least we could do to compensate. That didn't mean that we didn't find bridal magazines on our nightstand or pictures of cakes and floral arrangements taped to the mirrors and laptops. But that was Alice.

Bella emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, her hair wet and skin flushed. The small cabin was flooded with her scent and I worried for a fraction of a second about Jasper's control and immediately felt guilty for doubting him. He acknowledged my reaction in his thoughts, letting me know it didn't offend him. _I would feel the same if our situations were reversed. Even though I know Ali can take care of herself, I never stop worrying about her safety. That's just part of being in love._ He flashed me an understanding smile.

Not even a minute later, Bella escaped from the bedroom, throwing her arms up in exasperation over Alice packing her clothes. She mumbled under her breath that there was no reason for her to take a pair of heels to Forks when there would be no occasion to wear them.

The truth was that none of us knew exactly how she was going to react to being back in Forks. Technically, she had died there and there was a headstone with her name on it in the cemetery. Alice could barely see anything about the time we spent there due to the proximity of the wolves, which meant they would somehow be involved. It made us all a bit nervous, going into this blind. We all relied on Alice's gift far too much. The numbers would be nearly even and we had seasoned fighters on our side, three of which had extensive experience fighting and training newborns. We should have been confident, but we couldn't help but consider the worst case scenarios.

~~**~~

The flight was long, and Bella withdrew further, the closer we got to our destination. She was silent during the drive to Forks, and it took her a full ten minutes to pull herself out of the rented Mercedes when we arrived at our old home. She was visibly trembling and I thought it might have been wiser to rent a hotel, instead of dredging up painful memories by bringing her here. However, we needed to remain inconspicuous. Word travels fast through small towns like Forks, and we couldn't risk anyone knowing we were back, especially Charlie.

Bella tried to hold it together as we approached the front door, but Jasper suddenly appeared at her other side, and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders, helping her relax. I'd underestimated how difficult this would be for her, and I couldn't stop the guilt and remorse burning through me once again as I thought of how my selfish and idiotic actions had broken the person I loved more than my own life. The images of her pale, bloody, lifeless body were seared into my memory for eternity. I could never hurt her like that again. It was obvious we were meant to be together. Time and time again, fate threw us together, and I regretted ever trying to fight it. I could have saved us both a lot of pain if I hadn't been so stubborn. Never again would I take Bella for granted.

We excused ourselves and headed upstairs right away. My room was virtually untouched since I never left with the family to go to Alaska, and when I did leave, it was rushed. She noticed and sucked in a deep breath before putting all her effort into unpacking. Once that was done, Bella locked herself in the bathroom in a bathtub full of steaming water and scented oils. Deciding to give her some space, I turned on the stereo for her and headed downstairs to see if anyone needed anything. It didn't take Alice long to find me, her buzzing energy was palpable anytime she was close.

_She's going to be okay. This is just a lot for her to take in at once. Just give her some space and let her be. She'll come to you if she needs to talk._

"I offered to stay back on the island with her, but she insisted we needed to be here...that the family needed me. I've caused her so much pain...I don't know how she can still love me."

_That's the beauty of love. We're able to overlook and forgive our lover's mistakes. It's all going to work out, Edward. I've seen it._

I gave my tiny sister a one-armed hug and she danced off to her room to unpack the ridiculous amount of clothing that she insisted on bringing.

~~**~~

Kate, Irina, and Tanya had arrived, but we were still waiting for Peter and Charlotte.

There was definitely tension between the two families and Jasper did his best to relax everyone. Surprisingly, Tanya stepped forward and took Bella's hands in her own and offered a sincere apology. It shocked us to see the usually confident succubus so contrite.

"Bella, I can never apologize enough for my actions. My sisters and I chose to hunt animals because we respected human life. Yet, I have disrespected you from the very first time I learned about your involvement with Edward. I know I don't have to tell you how amazing he is. I've been attracted to him since the first time I've met him, and yet time and time again, he has politely turned down my advances. Being what I am, I'm not used to rejection, and when I learned that someone else had stolen his heart, I was jealous. The fact that you were a human upset me even further. I am ashamed of the things I've thought and said about you. You may be human, but you are still deserving of my respect, _especially_ because you have brought Edward, our long time friend, such happiness. I looked down on you because you were human, and that was wrong."

She turned to address Carlisle and the rest of the family.

"I am deeply ashamed that I sided with such cruel vampires as James and Victoria against those I consider my family. There are no excuses. I simply saw another woman who lost the man she cared about, all because of a human, and I sympathized. It was wrong and I will never forgive myself for what I have done. All I can offer are my apologies and my unwavering support to your family. I will stand by you _all._" Tanya made eye contact with Bella. "Bella, from this day forward, I will consider you as one of my cousins, just as I do the rest of the Cullen family. If there is ever anything you should need, all you need do is ask. I look forward to getting to know each other better in the years to come."

Bella looked to me, probably wondering about her sincerity, and I nodded. She gave Tanya a small smile. "I'd like that."

The rest of the family's thoughts were wary of her intentions, but Jasper and I knew she was being honest. We would let them know later.

Still not finished, Tanya turned to Carmen and Eleazar. "I am so sorry for the way I behaved in our home and for the scrutiny I brought down on our family. I know you are disappointed in me, and I hope that one day we can look past all that and come together as a family once more. We've missed you both so much. The house has lost it's warmth without you there. Please come home soon."

Carmen embraced Tanya with much emotion and Eleazar patted her on the back. They both held somewhat parental roles in their family, much like Esme and Carlisle did in ours. Carmen couldn't help but forgive the girl she considered a daughter, but Eleazar was more hesitant. Tanya betrayal cut deeper for him because he knew firsthand what it could have meant for us all. That she sided with vampires who made a game out of hunting and torturing humans, was almost unforgivable in his eyes. His compassion rivaled Carlisle's.

The tension never really dissipated, however the atmosphere in the room did lighten and the family spent some time catching up with each other. The three sisters were eager to hear about the new house and were invited to come visit once this whole mess was taken care of.

Eager to get started on this new mission, Jasper, Alice and Eleazar went on the first scouting trip to find Victoria. Their gifts making them the obvious choice for the outing. I knew I could have added to that, but felt I needed to be there for Bella. Being in our old home and confronted with Tanya as well brought back too many unpleasant memories. We all waited with baited breath for our loved ones' return. Bella chewed each of her nails down the quick, and I held her hands in mine in order to keep her from chewing on the skin next. Esme eventually plopped down a basket of yarn and knitting needles between them, giving her a gentler outlet for her nerves.

Somewhere in the early morning hours, we finally heard them approaching the house. Bella had tried to stay awake, but eventually, the sandman pulled her under and she lay sleeping across my lap on the couch. Carmen had spent nearly an hour intricately braiding her hair and though she looked like a Grecian goddess, I missed being able to run my fingers through it as she slept.

"There is an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Seattle where fourteen newborns are holed up. No sign of Victoria, though her scent lingered. They are clearly untrained and were fighting amongst themselves. It seems she's just going for quantity and not quality." Jasper scowled as he shared his assessment.

"None of them have particularly remarkable gifts. Only two seem to hold any promise and I doubt they are even aware of it. It is not a trained army, merely a group of feral newborns that may or may not obey their maker. If they were let lose on a city, it would be a disaster. As it is, we can't let this continue any longer. The murders in Seattle have caused enough of an uproar and the Volturi will intervene soon, if they aren't already on their way. She has been completely irresponsible about this!" Eleazar added, his voice raising in volume as his outrage at the situation became obvious.

"If they cross our trail, they will most likely follow it. Which means, we may be leading them straight to Forks." Alice piped up. "But, this could work in our favor. I haven't seen anything, but will keep watching. It may be possible to take out a few more newborns if they decide to check it out. We should use the same trail each time so our scent is stronger and they get curious. Bringing them to us a couple at a time would be much better than walking into an unknown situation."

Jasper looked at his wife in awe. "Excellent idea. When Peter and Charlotte get here, we'll work out a plan." Jasper locked his gaze on me and showed me what just came to mind. I almost bolted up off the couch at the rage that consumed me. How could he even consider something like that? _I'll take that as a no._

"Absolutely not." All eyes in the room were on us, minds filled with questions about our silent conversation. "Bella will not be used as bait." I spat out in order to satisfy their curiosity. They shared my horrified reaction, but wondered what Jasper's idea had been.

"Of course it's too dangerous. It was just an errant thought. If we brought Bella along on the trail, her scent would draw them out even more. The scent of human blood makes them crazed and it would be easier to win in a fight." Jasper explained sheepishly.

Alice tightened her grip around his arm and looked at me. _Not going to happen, but what if..._

"Can you see what would happen?" I asked her, the others around us frustrated once again.

"No, but they're newborns, it's a given."

I nodded and turned to Carlisle. "While it's too dangerous to take Bella with us, we might achieve the same effect if we were able to procure some human blood. We could use it as bait. As Jasper mentioned, the scent would drive them to distraction."

He took a moment to consider it, picturing the scene in his head. "Not a bad idea, but what about the rest of you. Would you also be distracted?" Carlisle turned the question to the entire gathering. Some were confident, others held doubts.

"Perhaps we could test it out first?" Eleazar questioned.

"Certainly. I can go by the hospital tonight. It's worth a try."

I heard a car slowing down and turning onto our driveway, the unmistakable thoughts of Peter and Charlotte invading my head. "Peter and Charlotte are here." I confirmed.

Jasper and Alice headed out to greet them, and Jasper was shaking his head in amusement as he led his old friends into the living room. It took a moment before I noticed that Peter was wearing a PETA shirt that read, _I Am Too Sexy to Be Cruel to Animals. _Charlotte's shirt said, _Love Animals, Don't Eat Them. _

"Very subtle." Carlisle chuckled as he welcomed the pair of non-vegetarians to the house. They had never felt the compunction to give up their diet of human blood as we had, and each time they visited, they were sure to make some kind of joke about it. The two white-blond vampires grinned broadly as everyone had their moment of amusement.

Their attention immediately landed on me and Bella. Their minds full of both questions and assumptions. The most prominent was the fact that I had not changed her yet. They couldn't understand why I wanted her to remain human, and I had no desire to try to explain it to them. We had moved past that now, and soon enough she would be one of us.

The last time they visited, I'd been rude and anxious for them to leave so I could guarantee Bella's safety. Peter wasn't known for his control and I was still apprehensive about them joining our group while she was with us. I carefully monitored their thoughts and Alice's. She was watching out for so much, but had taken it upon herself to add this new dynamic to her ever growing list. Still, they deserved an apology for my behavior last time. We had always gotten along before. Our differing dietary choices were easy to overlook before I fell in love with a human.

After everyone got reacquainted, Jasper filled them in on most of the details and discussed strategy. Peter and Charlotte had been trained by Jasper as newborns to fight in Maria's army, and would be of great help in this situation. They were extremely loyal to their brother, as he was the one who allowed them to escape from Maria. After the first year, newborn vampires lose their strength, and Charlotte's time was up. Jasper had been ordered to destroy her, but he saw how much Peter loved her and let them both go. They returned the favor by coming back years later and convincing Jasper to go with them. In a way, they saved his life. He would not be who he was now, if not for them. He would not have found Alice or our family, if they had not persuaded him to leave his maker.

I excused myself momentarily so that I could put Bella to bed. She would be more comfortable, and I didn't want our discussion to influence her dreams. She had enough nightmares already as it was. The idea of any of us fighting terrified her, especially when it was to protect her. She would much rather we let her walk head first into her death than for anyone else to be hurt on her behalf. My beautiful, selfless girl.

After making sure she was settled, I joined the group downstairs as we continued to assess strengths, weaknesses and strategies. All the males were concerned for the safety of their women, and the women were either amused or offended at the idea that they needed protection. All of us were changed during times when men were the protectors. Somehow the female vampires in the room managed to evolve through the years and we had not. Our caveman tendencies were rearing their ugly heads.

"What are we doing about the girl?" Peter asked in the wee hours before dawn.

"Bella." I glared at him.

"Excuse me. What are we doing about Bella?" He grumbled at my oversensitivity. Humans were food for him and having a relationship such as the one I had with Bella was unfathomable to him. I could easily have made my point by asking if he would like it if I referred to Charlotte as '_the girl_,'but I bit my tongue and thanked him with a curt nod.

Carlisle took over the conversation then. "We haven't quite decided yet." He said with a sigh, looked at me. "Leaving her behind would require at least one of us to stay with her, and with the numbers not in our favor, we need everyone out there. Not to mention the possibility of any of them getting past us and finding her. One guard could be easily taken down."

"Why not leave her with the wolves?" Eleazar suggested. "You say it is their duty to protect the people of Forks. Surely, they would include her in that. They are already protecting her father."

Carlisle's eyes darted between me and Alice. "We will be meeting with them tomorrow to discuss all this. Their priority is to protect their tribe, and the people of Forks, yes, but because Bella had chosen to involve herself in our lives, they would probably not be very eager to guard her for us. There is no harm in asking, and considering the stunt they pulled, they do owe us."

_I can't see them though, Edward!_ Alice expressed her concern to me silently and I offered her a small nod to let her know I understood. Should something go wrong, there would be no way for Alice to see it. The wolves blacked out her visions. Not to mention the fact that they kidnapped her and Jacob attacked us. I didn't know if I could trust them to watch her safely. Young werewolves were impulsive and dangerous. If one phased too closely to her...well Emily was still alive...but I had a hard time even considering putting Bella in that kind of danger. The question was would she be safer with the wolves on the reservation or with us as we hunted and battled newborn vampires?


	23. Chapter 23

Jacob was not present when we met the wolves at the old clearing where we used to play baseball. Where all this mess truly started. Had we not provoked James, or had we not brought Bella with us, or had we not thought we could evade him, we would not be here today facing a nest of newborns created by a rogue vampire hellbent on revenge. There was no way I would ever forget the lives taken in this disgusting display. Too many people had died in this game, and it was time to end it.

The many years I spent thinking myself a monster paled in comparison to the crimes Victoria had committed. Even James' despicable games of toying with humans, torturing them before finally ending their suffering, made me see how my own crimes were not so horrendous as I'd once believed. I'd give anything to be able to restore the lives of the humans I drained, but at least I had the peace of mind to know that they were vile, as evil as James and Victoria, and I killed them as painlessly as possible. They never saw me coming. Their future victims were safe. The many times my family tried to convince me that I was not a monster, never really sank in, until I saw how true monsters behaved. There was not one shred of similarity between them and me, other than we were of the same race.

Four wolves stood before us, unwilling to phase into human form until they were sure of our intentions. Two more wolves, including Jacob, had remained on the reservation in order to protect the people. They were wary of us, their thoughts concerned that we might still seek retaliation for their kidnapping attempt. The large black wolf, Sam, felt particularly ashamed that he let the young hothead lead them in the futile quest to rescue Bella when she did not need rescuing. He'd known of the pup's obsession with the girl even before he began to phase. Anyone could see he was in love with her, and had been since they spent their summers making sandcastles on the beaches of La Push. Once Jake phased and learned the secrets of the pack, he was insistent that Bella was his imprint. He would have stopped at nothing to find her and finally have her in his grasp. The pack mind was quite intriguing. As soon as one of them thought of something, a hundred other thoughts and memories splintered off in the minds of the others, giving me a complete picture of the situation from all angles. Jacob had been enraged when he discovered there was no rearranging of the universe once he laid eyes on Bella. He had just known that the pull he'd always felt for her meant she was his imprint, and to find out otherwise had sent him on a downward spiral. He fancied himself a much better match for her than a _leech_.

_We come in peace._ The eyes of the black wolf bore into my own. I nodded in understanding and shared the message with the rest of my family. Jasper also nodded, confirming the words were backed by their emotions. Alice's face scrunched up at the blank spots in her visions that didn't allow her to see the outcome of this meeting.

"As do we." Carlisle replied, remaining stoic between Eleazar and Emmett.

Neither side relaxed their defenses, despite the shared sentiment.

"We've located a large nest of newborn vampires in a warehouse outside of Seattle. We have been making plans to try to pick them off as we can, as your pack has been doing. Eventually, we will infiltrate the warehouse and destroy them all, as soon as the numbers are more in our favor. There were fourteen, plus the female, Victoria, who was not there. There may be more, but we don't know for sure. They fight amongst themselves, and Victoria simply turns more to replenish the ones who are lost. It is a vicious cycle that must be stopped before they are let loose on Seattle." Growls resonated through the trees and several of the wolves were eager to help take them out.

"If your pack would like to offer their assistance, the number would be more in our favor and we could end this sooner." I added. Sam was reluctant to let any members of his pack get involved in our mission, no matter how hard they were chomping at the bit. His reasoning being that they were needed in Forks to protect the people here should any more of the feral newborns find their way out here. "I understand. This is not your fight, and we appreciate you keeping watch over the town as well as the reservation."

_When will you be going to fight?_ Sam asked.

I relayed the question to the rest of the group verbally.

"We aren't sure. We can't allow this to go on much longer, but we need to be sure that we have some chance at succeeding. There are fourteen of us here. Not all of our guests are animal drinkers like us, but you have our word that if they need to hunt it will not be anywhere near Forks or the reservation. They all understand and accept the treaty."

_If they do not, understand that we will destroy them._

"They understand."

_Be sure they do. Perhaps we should meet them, so we are aware of their scents. It would be a shame if we were to take out one of your guests, accidentally mistaking them for one of the newborns._

After I told Carlisle of our conversation, he agreed. "That would be a good precaution to take."

_Tonight. Here. Midnight?_

Everyone agreed to the meeting time.

_Will Bella be with you?_

I nodded in affirmation. The wolves needed to make sure they knew all our scents, and there was no way I was leaving Bella unprotected.

_Jacob will be there, but he will not approach her. He will be on his best behavior. You have my word._

"Thank you. Understand, that if he is not, I will intervene if necessary."

_I understand, but please give us a chance to restrain him first._

"If he is any threat to Bella, I will not hesitate." The rest of the group watched our one-sided conversation, most of them understanding the subject being discussed. The other wolves were embarrassed by Jacob's behavior, except for Paul. He felt they should take out any and all leeches they came across and he didn't even try to conceal his hatred for our kind. He growled at my threat, but Sam commanded him to stand down. I watched as the sleek gray wolf cowered under his Alpha's command. I made a note to warn the rest of my family and friends of that particular wolf's temper and unbridled hatred. It would be in our best interest to watch our back in any dealings we may have with him. He seemed to be much more loyal to Jacob's cause than Sam's orders. As I understood it, the wolves absolutely _had_ to obey their Alpha, but Paul's thoughts revealed that Jacob was actually the rightful Alpha due to his bloodline. Things could get interesting if the pack ever decided to split, or if Jacob wanted to replace Sam. For now, things seemed stable amongst the rest of the pack, and I hoped they stayed that way. The last thing we needed was werewolf trouble on top of the current newborn issue.

_Edward. _

I focused my attention on Sam as he addressed me.

_I know you have no reason to trust us, but I wanted to give you my word as Alpha that we offer our most sincere apologies for the misunderstanding that took place when we attempted to rescue Bella. I know we are sworn enemies. The men of our tribe mutate in order to protect our families from your kind. It is hard to overcome the hatred associated with that, but Ephraim saw something in your coven all those years ago and put his trust in you. I want you to know, as the current Alpha, I do as well. I know you would never hurt a human willingly. I know there are some in our tribe who are appalled at Bella's involvement with your family, and they are not seeing the situation clearly. Out of all of us, I am probably the only one who understands what you and Bella have. That Emily can still love me after what I did..._

He shook his massive head and whimpered. His pain was palpable even without Jasper's gift and subsequent mental commentary.

_We are no better than you. We have both been thrust into this supernatural world with little to no choice. Both of us have had to struggle to gain control over our instincts. Imprinting is the way our pack assured that the gene it passed on to future generations. I had no choice but to submit when I laid eyes on my Emily, and I could never be without her. To know that I almost destroyed her... A wolf has no life without his imprint. I believe your kind has their own version of this phenomenon. _

I nodded, following the gist of his thoughts before he managed to form them into words. It amazed me that he was trying to compare the two of us in some kind of spirit of warped brotherhood. While I could never see any of us hunting alongside the Quileutes, the sentiment was appreciated.

_I was the one who found Bella in the woods when you left her that day. I saw first hand how devastated she was. I know you did not harm her, only that you were trying to protect her by removing yourselves from her life. That is something I could never attempt. I would be a shell of a man without Emily. Apparently your kind does not fare well without their mate either._

He paused as I'm sure he saw the flicker of pain across my features. No we do not fare well at all. "Leaving her was the worst mistake I ever made." I whispered, knowing he heard me. Not wanting to further emasculate me in front of my family and the pack he continued his mental speech.

_What I'm trying to say is that we're both supernatural creatures with our own struggles...but we're both in love with women who would probably be better off if they'd never met us. However, they did, and they love us, despite what we are. Who knows, maybe it's our redemption for being dealt hands of fate that were out of our control. She's everything to me, my light, my happiness...just as I'm sure Bella is to you. It's not for me to stand in the way of that kind of love. You have done your best to care for Bella, and because of that I am granting an exception to the treaty. If you wish to truly make her your mate, there will be no retribution. This is the only exception we will make though._

My carefully composed expression cracked in surprise. It was a moment before I could reply.

"I appreciate that more than you will know. It is something we have planned for after we marry"

Carlisle's frantic thoughts called out to me. _Edward, what are you agreeing to? This affects us all. Please, son..._

"Sam has granted us an exception to the treaty. We may change Bella without fearing retaliation."

Carlisle's expression mirrored my own in surprise. "Oh! Well, thank you. We appreciate the consideration."

Sam nodded in his direction.

_Edward, also know that we will help protect Bella, if you need us to. While I cannot send my pack to fight beside you, I would offer my home as a safe house for her while your family is otherwise engaged. The reservation will be guarded heavily until this matter is resolved. Jacob will not be allowed near her either. Please consider it._

"Thank you. I will." I nodded a little more curtly than I intended. The idea of allowing a pack of young werewolves to watch over my Bella soured my stomach. I hated the situation we were in. I needed to remain by her side, but I knew my family needed me, not only to fight, but also because my gift gave us quite an advantage. It would put them at risk to leave me behind, and if anyone got past the family and found us, I would be hard pressed to keep her safe against two or more vampires. On the reservation, she would have the entire pack to watch over her, even if they were young, they had experience and had not lost anyone to a vampire. Perhaps it was something I should consider more seriously. It could be the solution.

A few last details and pleasantries were exchanged before we parted ways. I was anxious to return to Bella and I knew I should discuss this with her before making any decisions. It should be up to her ultimately, but her safety was never something I could take lightly and I felt she needed the input of the family in order to make a fully informed decision. I wasn't sure how she would respond to that. If there was one thing I'd finally learned – Bella did not like being told what to do. She'd never understand how difficult it was for me to give up control of her safety. Of course, I don't think she ever really understood how much danger she'd actually been in either.

I shared everything with our group as we ran back to the house. Carlisle urged me to consider Sam's offer seriously. Jasper agreed that it would be the safest solution. She would be tucked away in Sam's house with his wife Emily, and the pack would be guarding the reservation very literally with their lives. She'd likely have very little contact with any of the wolves, and if they could get her there with no trail, it would be impossible for the newborns to track her if any got past them. Victoria might know of the wolves, but if she didn't find Bella's trail leading her there, she wouldn't have any reason to look. It did make sense, but could I give up that control?

The next few days were a flurry of activity as we took shifts staking out the warehouse and attempting to lure newborns away one or two at a time. The fresh donated blood Carlisle procured certainly worked as we'd hoped. The newborns never been trained or taught any kind of control. Victoria just turned them and then left them to their instincts. They scented the blood and became overwhelmed with the singular mission of obtaining it. They were easy to pick off that way, rarely sensing us before we had our teeth to their throats. We were careful to carry their pieces back to the clearing in Forks before burning them. We didn't want the others to become suspicious.

There was one blond male vampire who was older than the others, more in control. He seemed to have been left in charge of corralling the others. Riley. The only thoughts of Victoria I could glean from his mind were of them in compromising positions. He would dwell on those escapades _constantly_. He considered her his mate, and I couldn't help the pang of sadness I felt when I realized she was only using this boy. He was younger than I'd been when turned. She had ended his human life and cursed him to this immortality only to be used as a pawn in her games. None of the others seemed to have much contact with the fiery red-head and it made me wary. It was as if she _knew_ our talents and how to avoid them somehow. We'd tried tracking and hunting her, but she always evaded us. I was beginning to wonder if she had some kind of gift for it.

I took out my frustrations on a male newborn that night. He looked to be in his thirties and was filthy. His hair and skin covered with dirt and blood, probably from his own change as well as any humans he had drained. As agreed, I offered him a chance to surrender and learn our way of life. He laughed and then attacked in an attempt to get to the fresh blood we had opened further back on the trail. We'd had yet to have one of them take us up on our offer. Kate and I carried the pieces back to Forks that night and destroyed them. His name was David. The toll of human and vampire life weighed heavily on us all.

The entire household was in a military mindset, led by Jasper, Carlisle, and Eleazar. We worked out strategies and tried to come up with a foolproof plan for finally taking the whole nest out. However, we all knew that our end goal was to take Victoria down, and we didn't want to act until we were sure we would have her. She had no attachment to these newborns, and once they were eliminated, she would simply move on and create more. She was the one we had to stop. Somehow we had to lure her our and make her confront us. We had no pawn in this game though...other than Bella that is. I was positive that if we took Riley and tried to use him as leverage against her, she'd let him burn before giving herself up. While Jasper was correct, that using Bella as bait would most likely bring Victoria out of hiding, it was absolutely out of the question. I wouldn't allow her to be placed in that kind of danger.

Our days and nights were filled with training, planning, missions, and hunting. Jasper, Peter and Charlotte had the most experience fighting newborns, so they led the training, breaking us up into groups. We hunted every other day in order to keep up our strength, making sure no one went off alone. Peter and Charlotte partook of the donated blood so they could stay close to the house. Jasper was in full on military mode, and it wasn't hard to see why he'd been Maria's favorite. Watching the three of them was fascinating. We'd never had much of a need to fight before, always the peaceful coven who avoided conflict. They had taken over and turned us into quite a formidable group of fighters. With our unique gifts and their skill, we were more confident about facing Victoria's nest.

We'd taken out six newborns in four days and I was worried. It was enough that Riley would notice. It was enough that he would become suspicious. We would have to strike soon, before they could regroup. Before she could revise her strategy.

Bella was left mostly to her own devices during all of this. It hurt not to spend every moment together as we had on the island, but we had to finish this and ensure her safety. We had an eternity stretched out before us, these weeks would be mere memories soon. She spent a good amount of her time with the Denali sisters, surprisingly. They were as eager as Alice to help her with wedding plans, since there hadn't been such an occasion since Rose's last nuptials. Bella held her ground and declined their assistance though. Neither one of us really wanted Tanya involved at all. I wasn't as quick to forgive as some of the others. Our wedding should be intimate, and right now Tanya was not a part of our familial circle. She'd betrayed us all and it would take quite some time before I trusted her again. I felt very strongly that my sisters should be the only ones helping her, and they were too involved in trying to take out Victoria to focus on wedding details. Our time together was limited. We'd exchange smiles, but hers were always sad or her expression tight, the stress of the situation showing plainly in her demeanor. I made sure to be there when she went to bed so I could hold her, and that was the only time it felt like everything was right with the world. We rarely talked, and I had yet to bring up Sam's offer, knowing I was an idiot for not doing it already. A part of me hoped it wouldn't come to that.

Jasper and Alice both gave me not so subtle hints that she was pulling away from me, and that I needed to do something to bring her back. I was so singularly focused on getting rid of the threat Victoria held over us, that I ignored them like the idiot I was. My heart ached for her, but I was committed to the mission. There would be plenty of time for us to reconnect after this was taken care of.

It was on the fifth day that the sound of shattering glass echoed through the house. Immediately seeking out the thoughts of the one who was responsible, my mind was filled with chaotic images of our family, newborn vampires, and then nothing. I flew to my tiny clairvoyant sister's side and watched her as she frantically sought to piece the fragments together, making decisions and searching over and over in order to try to change the outcome.

Every vision ending with the black.

Jasper sensed our terror and wrapped his arms around his wife, waiting for her to explain. The rest of the house was silent, waiting anxiously, except for the beating of Bella's heart. She was tucked away upstairs, unaware that there was anything wrong.

"Bella?" I asked her. My voice a strangled whisper.

She searched, and Bella's future disappeared as well, though it was close to the house and some of us were by her side. _I think it's because you've decided to send her with the wolves._ Alice was positive that was the cause.

"Maybe they come to our aid after all?"

She shook her head. _Sam said they wouldn't._

We both knew then that this whole situation may very well be hopeless. The only available option was for Bella to go to the reservation and to let the wolves protect her. Whatever happened to our family, she couldn't be there. We couldn't risk her like that. She was too precious. We couldn't just walk away either. Human life was too precious.

Everyone, save Bella, was aware something was horribly wrong. We gathered around the table that had been the site of so many family meetings and Alice explained what she saw. No one wavered from the mission, but they thought we should call Aro and ask for assistance. We were not the law makers and their guard was trained to handle rogue vampires such as this.

Eleazar made the decision to call Aro, and Alice searched our future again. "They will agree to send Jane, Felix, and Demetri, but our future remains the same."

"Are you sure it's not just the wolves." Carlisle asked.

"I can't be sure, no. I've never been able to get a clear picture of this situation because there are too many decisions to be made, and I think Victoria knows how to avoid my foresight somehow." She pouted in frustration.

"So, we're not facing certain death. It's possible we may still make it out of this. Picking off the newborns has been too easy. I don't see how she could possibly be victorious against our experience and skill, especially now that her numbers have dwindled."

Alice's brow furrowed before she nodded in agreement. "You're right, Carlisle. We can't give up. I'm sure there's an explanation for the blank spots. It's just so frustrating."

Jasper gently massaged her shoulders in a comforting gesture. "It'll be alright Alice. I know what we're facing, and the odds are greatly in our favor." He projected his confidence into the room, and Peter and Charlotte nodded in agreement. The three of them were certain we could handle this. Whatever was causing Alice's visions to short circuit would not be allowed to sway our confidence.


	24. Chapter 24

"She really shouldn't be here when the Volturi arrive." Alice, and several other members of my family had been trying to convince me that Bella would be safer if we took her to the reservation as soon as possible. With so many vampires in one place, and some of them human drinkers, I could see their point. I was being selfish and controlling, and I couldn't help it. I wanted her to be safe, but I wanted to be the one to guarantee her safety. Alice's latest vision showed that things would be up in the air if the three members of the Guard that Aro sent arrived while Bella was still in the house. They were under orders to protect her, but it would be all too easy for one of them to slip and claim it was an accident, especially with the house in as much chaos as it was.

Then there was the fact that I hadn't made a decision on what to do with Bella during the battle. I knew the best option was to let the pack take her to the reservation. However, fear for her safety and the effect they had on Alice's foresight made it difficult for me to acquiesce.

We were running out of time and I still needed to talk to Bella.

_Walk with me, son._ Carlisle was about to force my hand, and I couldn't blame him. With one last check on a peacefully sleeping Bella, I darted out of the house after him.

He was waiting for me deep in the woods where we'd have some semblance of privacy. _You know it has to be done._

I dipped my chin in agreement.

_You haven't talked to her, Edward. You promised you wouldn't keep secrets or make decisions for her, and you are doing it again. I know you think you are protecting her, but she doesn't see it that way._

"I know." I thrust my fist into a tree as I paced. "I just cannot bring myself to leave her with those mutts. They _took_ her from me, like she was some kind of possession! Like they had some say over her life. _Jacob_ thinks she's his! We cannot see what will happen, and I just can't lose her again, Carlisle. I won't survive it."

His gaze was sympathetic. _I trust Sam when he says no one will approach her. We really have no other choice. She cannot be in that clearing, and we cannot risk leaving her behind, even with a guard. At least there she will be protected by creatures who are made to destroy our kind – many of them._

"But, what if they refuse to give her back?" I whined. Knowing I would fight to the death for her, but it was not something I wanted to deal with. They weren't ordinary humans. They could kill our kind, and would do so willingly. Alice couldn't see them. It was entirely possible that this could be another trap.

"Edward, I trust that they will not harm her. We may be enemies, but neither of us are evil. It is better that she be safe with them, than vulnerable with us. You have to talk to her as soon as she wakes up. The Volturi will be here tomorrow and I believe Alice is right when she says tensions will be running high enough without adding a human to the mix. They are not exactly known for their control and have made no secret of their contempt for our family."

I nodded again. He wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know, but trusting strangers with Bella's safety was almost impossible. "I will talk to her."

Carlisle gave me a stern look. "If you do not, I will." He meant it. He'd made it clear on more than one occasion that he would step in if he ever thought Bella's well being was at risk. The rest of the family still lamented over the fact that they supported me when I made them move away from Forks without so much as a goodbye to Bella. Carlisle would step in if I ever did something so foolish again. He thought I was gambling with both her safety and emotional stability right now...and he was probably right. I knew what I needed to do.

Only, I wasn't there when she woke up. Peter and Charlotte had caught a newborn and brought him to the clearing. It was my job to go and see if I could glean any information from their thoughts. None of the newborns had any knowledge of Victoria. They were led by an older blond male and kept in the dark, thirsty and ready to fight to the death. It was the same every time. Alice and Jasper joined us in the field as they were taking the next shift. My sister letting loose a string of insults directed at me. The intensity of her glare actually made me fidget.

_She's getting worse, Edward. I don't know what you're trying to accomplish, but she feels like you've abandoned her._ Jasper wasn't happy with me either.

"What am I supposed to do? I can't just abandon my duties to spend all my time with her, as much as I'd like that. As soon as this is over, everything will go back to the way it was. Right now we have this to take care of." I kicked at the arm Peter had just ripped from the newborn.

_Go to her._ Alice ordered me.

I scowled at her, but turned quickly to return to the house, and my Bella. The sadness they'd both observed in her eyes this morning tugged at my heart and I knew she needed me.

When I was about halfway home, I heard Alice's anguished cry and the images flashing through her mind made me run faster than I ever had before. Both she and Jasper took off, following me back to the house, Alice mentally screaming at me the whole time to get to Bella as soon as possible. They were both dialing their phones frantically.

"Carlisle, get everyone out of the house and stop Bella from whatever she's planning." I could hear Carlisle start to ask her what was going on before she flipped the phone shut, effectively cutting him off..

Ten minutes later I burst into the house to find that everyone was gone except Carlisle and Bella. She was in the kitchen fixing herself something to eat, and Carlisle was slicing a tomato for her.

_What's going on, son?_ His forehead crinkled in concern.

"Edward?" Bella's soft voice called out for me. I'm sure I looked a sight, completely disheveled from the speed of my return and frantically worried about her safety.

I crossed the room quickly to pull her into my arms. "You're safe." I murmured into her hair in relief.

She pulled back and smiled nervously at me, her eyes flickering over my shoulder as Alice and Jasper joined us. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?" She asked, before quickly turning back to her food and assembling her sandwich.

Alice stepped forward and grabbed a drink out of the fridge for Bella and set it at the table. "Go ahead and eat, Bella. Then we need to talk."

Bella's heartbeat began to race and her cheeks burned red – a dead giveaway that she knew what Alice had seen.

_Edward, what is it? _Carlisle asked again.

Speaking lower and faster than Bella's ears could register, I filled him in. "Alice saw her hurting herself again. She was in the kitchen staring at a knife."

_That's how I found her._ He frowned and ran his hand through his hair. _Her depression is getting worse, Edward. I think your absence is the trigger._

"I'll talk to her as soon as she's finished eating."

Carlisle nodded in approval.

Bella ate quietly, nibbling here and there, but leaving most of it on the plate. Eventually she sighed and pushed it away, keeping her eyes on the table. "What did you want to talk about?" She mumbled.

All eyes were on me. "Well, we've been talking about how to keep you safe during the battle, and thought it would be best if you went to stay at La Push until all this is over." She let out a small gasp, and I hurried to explain more. "You would be staying with Sam and Emily, and he has guaranteed that no one will bother you, especially Jacob. It's just too dangerous for you to stay here with all these vampires, and the Volturi Guard members will be arriving tomorrow. Alice has seen that it would be better if you weren't here. You can't come with us when we fight, but we cannot leave you here alone either. Even if we left one or two vampires back to guard you, we don't know if that would be enough. It is possible some might slip past us and find you." I grasped her hand, urging her to look at me, but she kept her eyes trained on the table. "I can't risk losing you, Bella. You are my life. The wolves can keep you safe on the reservation. Victoria and her army will never find you there because their scent will mask your own. I have to keep you safe, as much as it pains me to send you there, it's the only logical choice."

Silence filled the room, except for her heartbeat and shaky breaths. I could smell the salt of her tears welling in her eyes, but she blinked the tears back, willing herself not to cry.

"You're sending me away?" She barely whispered, sounding heartbroken.

I looked helplessly at my family. "No, no, no! I don't want you to go anywhere, but it is too dangerous for you to stay here. As soon as this is over, I'll come for you. I promise you!"

Bella sniffled and tried to wipe her cheek discreetly on her hand. Then she stood from the table and ran up the stairs to our room. The other three vampires at the table fixed their glares on me and berated me mentally for hurting her feelings and then for letting her go. _What was I supposed to do?_

_Fix it, Edward._ Carlisle demanded, his disappointment evident in even his mental voice.

_You need to reassure her. _Jasper thought she was feeling rejected and unworthy again.

Scrubbing my face with my hands, I ran up the stairs and found Bella sobbing on our bed. I scooped her into my arms and hummed her lullaby to her, and eventually she calmed.

"Bella, please talk to me. What has you so upset?" I pleaded with her. She shook her head, which was buried in my chest. "Please. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I love you. I need to know what's going on in that head of yours."

She was quiet for a long time and I assumed I wasn't going to get an answer. Just as I was about to plead with her again, she sucked in a deep breath. "It just feels so much like last time. You're pushing me away..." That was all she got out before her crying picked up again. I was confused.

"Last time? What do you mean?"

"When...you...left..." She gasped out between sobs. As much as I didn't want to revisit those thoughts, I recalled those final days between us and realized how much of an idiot I had been. When I'd made the decision to leave after her disastrous birthday party, I intentionally started distancing myself. I spoke as little as possible with her. I stopped touching her. I didn't stay the night or come over as often. All the same things that were happening now, only it wasn't on purpose. My chest felt tight and began to ache.

"_Oh God_, Bella." I gasped out. The thought of causing her pain like that again was too much to bear. "No, no, no, no. Never again. Never. Look at me." I grasped her shoulders firmly and pulled her away so I could look her in the eye. She kept her eyes downcast, probably afraid of what she would see. Grasping her chin, I made her look at me. I spoke slowly and sincerely. "I will never leave you again, Isabella. I promised you, and I will never break that promise." I grabbed her left hand and kissed my mother's ring that was nestled there as a sign of our devotion to one another. Her eyes flickered between my own, trying to decipher if I was being honest or not. She must have decided to believe me, because her features softened and her lips crashed to mine. The kiss was desperate and passionate, and I poured all my feelings into it, hoping she could feel exactly how much she meant to me. Her hands fisted in my hair and the little gasps she let out let me know how much she needed my reassurance. I ran my hands gently under her shirt, rubbing her back, needing to feel more of her skin. Our lips slowed and with one final brush of hers against mine, she nestled her head back into my chest and held onto me tightly.

"I should explain myself." I told her, speaking softly. "I wasn't pushing you away at all. I was just so caught up in everything else that was going on that there weren't enough hours in the day to spend as much time as I'd like with you. I've been helping them plan, training to fight, taking shifts along the trail to catch any stray newborns. Then when others catch them, they call me to the clearing to see if I can find out any information from reading their minds, but there's nothing there that can help us. They don't know her at all. They are kept in the dark, thirsty and ready to fight. It's horrible. They all want _you_, Bella, and it's all I can do not to storm into that warehouse on my own and kill them all. They didn't ask for this. She took away their human lives and now she's using them as pawns, not even caring if they are destroyed." I stopped them, aware that I might be scaring her.

"So many lives lost." She whimpered.

"I know, and she will pay for this. I promise you that. I've just been so caught up in all of this, that I didn't even realize how you must be feeling. I apologize for that. I just want this all over with, so we can go back to our lives. I want to sleep in our bed in our new home. I want to marry you. And I want you to join me in this life. The sooner we can end this threat, the sooner we can get on with our lives. I didn't mean to make it seem like I was pushing you away. You must know that deciding where you should be during the battle is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. It's clear, though, that you will be the safest on the reservation. I know you want to be with me, but there is no way you can be on that battlefield. Her entire army will go mad and try to get to you...and I don't know that we can absolutely keep any of them from slipping through. We considered leaving you at the house with one or two of us to guard you, but if any of them got by us and found you here, it may not be enough to protect you. You'll have a whole pack of wolves keeping you safe, and you'll be staying with Emily. She's a very sweet and caring woman from what I've seen. The entire pack adores her. I trust that she and Sam will take good care of you. I don't want you to go anywhere, but it's for the best. Please forgive me for sending you away, my dearest. Forgive me for deciding without asking your opinion."

She rewarded me with a small smile, rubbing her cheeks with the heels of her hands. "Of course I forgive you. I understand. I just don't like not knowing what's going on. Every day you're so busy that I barely get a few minutes alone with you, and even then you're preoccupied. The only time we really spend together is when you lay down with me at night, but you never stay long, and I always wake up alone. I just don't understand why everyone is going through all this trouble for me."

"Because we love you, and what Victoria is doing is wrong. There are laws and she is being careless, but even more than that, she has already taken too many lives, and we cannot allow her to continue."

"I don't even know why _she_ would go through all this trouble. I'm just a human. Why can't she just move on already!" Her brow furrowed in frustration.

"It will be over soon. I promise." I kissed the top of her head, burying my nose in her hair and inhaling her sweet scent.

"How can you be so sure? If anyone gets hurt...I just...I'll never forgive myself."

"Shh. Don't think like that. We're all going to be fine. We've already killed seven of her newborns and once the Guard gets here, we will outnumber them. We're also much more experienced than they are. It will be over before you know it."

She nodded reluctantly, clearly not believing that we'd all emerge unscathed. Her lack of faith in us stung, but I knew she was just worried about someone she loved being hurt.

"So, I'm going to La Push?"

"Yes. I'm going to call Sam and they'll come pick you up. It's better if there's no trail, and with you being in a car full of werewolves, your scent will be obscured and if any of them do come across it, the scent of the wolves should be enough to deter them."

Bella sucked in a breath. "Okay. Just promise me you'll come back to me."

"Always." I breathed against her trembling lips before meeting them with my own in a searing kiss. I pulled away and looked her in the eye. "Promise me you won't ever even think of hurting yourself again."

Her swollen lips puckered. "Oh."

"You thought Alice wouldn't see as soon as you decided?" I asked her gently.

Bella's cheeks burned red in embarrassment. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"I was so scared, Bella. I can't bear to think of you hurt, especially hurting yourself. Please, promise me you won't do it again."

"I can't promise that I won't ever think about it again. Sometimes, the thoughts just creep into my head. The difference is that now I won't act on it. I wasn't going to do anything, but yes I was thinking about it. I guess that's the unfortunate part of Alice's gift. As soon as I thought about doing it, she got the image." She placed her palms on either side of my face. "I promise that I wasn't going to do anything, and I won't ever again."

"Okay." I could accept that. I knew that some part of Bella would always be afraid I'd abandon her. Some part of her would always feel unworthy. Some part of her would still think about the release she might gain from cutting herself. As much as I hated that she might still have those thoughts, and that it was entirely my fault, I could accept her promise that she'd never act on it again. I understood her plight. Human blood was still tempting to every single one of us, and as much as I might like to sink my teeth into the neck of the next scumbag I came across in a dark alley and drink down every drop of nectar he had to offer, I would never feed from a human again. That is, as long as I was able to control myself. The urge was still there, we just learned to overcome it.

"Why don't you go get cleaned up and I'll call Sam. You should pack some thing as well." I didn't want to let her go, but the sooner we did this, the sooner we could have our happily ever after.

The three hours I got to spend with Bella alone before Sam arrived was not enough. Tears steamed down her cheeks as we said our goodbyes, our hungry lips insatiable for the taste of one another. Hugs and well wishes were exchanged amongst the entire family. None of us knew if this battle would be our last, but we had to stay positive and promised we'd see her in a few days. I drank in every millimeter of her, refusing to forget a single freckle. My heart ached, as the wolves drove her away from me.

"_Protect her, Sam. She's everything to me."_

"_I will. With my life."_

She would be with me in battle. I would carry her in my heart. Bella was my soul.

* * *

_A/N: It's a short one, but the battle is coming. Please forgive the delay in my updates. We're in the home stretch and I needed the inspiration and the details to work out before I could write the rest. Thanks again for your continued support!  
_


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N: For a change of pace, here is Bella's POV._

Terror gripped me as I got into the car with Sam and two other members of his pack. Forcing myself to walk away from Edward, not knowing if I'd ever see him again, was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Despite his reassurances, and those of his friends and family, I was afraid of any of them getting hurt...or worse. My entire body ached as the distance between us grew.

Sam gave me a warm smile and a knowing look. Edward had explained about the wolves and imprinting. He'd shared the discussion he and Sam had when they met. Sam and Emily were a lot like me and Edward, and I did feel comfortable around him. The other two Quileutes in the car were a whole other story though. The one who couldn't stop glaring and scowling at me was Paul. I thought he was going to punch me the first time he looked at me. His stare was intense and I was waiting for him to lash out at me. Jared, the other one, wasn't exactly happy either, but he wasn't trying to bore holes through me with his eyes.

Turning my gaze to the lush green blur that was flying by my window, I remembered when I first moved here. Who knew that these forests were full of supernatural creatures, and that I would be the one human to discover them? Was it fate that brought me here, or just chance? The familiar roads to La Push reminded me of Jacob, my childhood friend. He was just a boy, even now, though he was nearly seven feet tall and looked as if he stepped right out of a body building competition. He was the one that helped me connect the dots with the legends of his tribe. It was hard to reconcile the carefree boy with the jaded wolf who hunted and killed vampires. Part of me wanted to see him again, to talk about everything with my friend, but I couldn't forget the obsession that led him to hunt me down and kidnap me. This new Jacob scared me. He could hurt Edward, or any of the Cullens, and he had the motivation to do so. He wanted to possess me. I hoped he'd gotten over it and moved on. I wished that he'd find happiness with someone who could love him like he deserved to be loved.

We drove past the familiar house where Charlie's best friend and his son lived. My heart clenched with nostalgia. I longed for simpler times and wished Edward was just a boy, and I was a just a girl, and the world was safe from supernatural creatures that should only exist in legends.

The car stopped at another small house, but it was beautifully quaint. The personal touches on the roughly hewn wood porch let everyone know this home was filled with love. Paul slammed the door to the car and stormed off. Jared jogged off after him. Sam and I sat in the car for a moment before he turned to me.

"It hurts, doesn't it? Being this far away from him?" He asked with a gentle smile.

I nodded and bit my lip in order to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. My hand had been absently massaging my chest, trying to relieve the ache. Movement on the front porch caught Sam's eye and his face split into a huge grin as he laid eyes on the beautiful woman I assumed was Emily. His whole countenance lit up at the sight of her.

"Let's go in, Emily's been wanting to meet you." He unfolded himself from the car, much more gracefully than a man his size should have been able to. Within seconds they were in each others' arms and sharing a kiss so intense I had to look away. I fiddled with my bag, minding my own business until Sam called out to me.

"Bella, come over here and meet Emily." He gestured for me to join them and once I did, she reached out and grasped my wrists, squeezing gently.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Bella. I hope you'll be comfortable here and if you need anything, please don't hesitate to let me know." Her voice was like warm honey, just like her smile, even though half her face was marred by three long, jagged scars. I was thankful that Edward had filled me in on their story so that I didn't embarrass anyone with my curiosity.

"Thank you, Emily. I'll try not to get in the way." I offered her a small smile, even though I had very little reason to smile at the moment.

"None of that, now. Let's go get you settled." She let me into the house and down the hall to the small guestroom. A crib was crammed into the corner of the room, the full size bed taking up most of the room. I gasped and wheeled around with my eyes locked on her belly.

"Are you?" I asked.

Emily's entire face lit up and she nodded in confirmation. "We just found out." She crossed the room to stroke the antique crib lovingly and let out a little laugh. "I suppose half the reservation has slept in this at some point. They just keep passing it from family to family."

"Oh wow, that's pretty neat."

Her smile grew even wider. "Yes it is. We may not have much..." She trailed off.

"But you have everything you need and your home is filled with love." I understood. Though the Cullens' resources came in handy, there was something to say for making the best of what you had. I'd never had much in material goods when I lived with my mother, but there was unconditional love. I hoped Emily wasn't feeling embarrassed about her home. I thought it was beautiful and told her so. She blushed and headed for the door.

"I'll leave you to get settled. Come and join us in the living room when you're ready." She paused. "And Bella? I'm sure everything is going to work out just fine. They know what they're doing."

I bit my lip again to keep from letting out a sob and nodded. Despite the fact that these people were the sworn enemies of my adopted family, I had a feeling that Emily and I had a lot in common. Falling in love with supernatural creatures was not something that happened to your average human.

After taking some time to calm down, I tried to push my fear for my family's life to the back of my mind. Yoga pants were always comfortable, even when they came with expensive designer labels, so I changed into a pair of those and one of Edward's t-shirts, needing his scent surrounding me. The murmur of voices reached me down the short hallway and I found Emily and Sam in the kitchen, working together on dinner. They orbited around one another, anticipating each others' needs. I couldn't help but smile. I knew what it was like to find your one and only.

Sam of course heard my approach and greeted me with a smile of his own. His brown eyes twinkled as he wrapped his arms around Emily's waist, resting his hands over her womb. She blushed and grinned and swatted playfully at him for embarrassing her in front of a guest. "We're glad to have you here, Bella. I know our last meeting wasn't under the best of circumstances, and I will always be sorry for what we did. We had no idea of what truly occurred and I'm afraid we let our prejudices, and Jacob, persuade us into action. I hope you'll forgive me."

His sincere words warmed my heart. Maybe there was hope that this ridiculous feud between the two groups could be ended. I waved dismissively. "Don't worry about it Sam. I do forgive you, and I forgive Jacob. I know you were only acting out of concern. Also, I don't think I ever got a chance to thank _you_ for finding me in the woods that day and taking me home to Charlie."

"Just doing my job, Bella. You know your father, and by extension, you, are considered friends of the tribe. We would do whatever it takes to protect you both."

"I appreciate that, Sam. I really do. Seems I need a lot more protecting that your average human too." I joked weakly.

Sam's face turned serious for a moment. "He does treat you right, doesn't he?"

I thought about being offended for about three seconds, before I recognized he was only asking out of brotherly concern. For some reason, I brought out the protectiveness in those around me, probably because of my innate ability to attract trouble like a magnet. "Oh yes. He's never hurt me, Sam, intentionally or otherwise. They are truly good people. Your ancestors were right to trust them." I blushed then, and held out my left hand. It's not like I'd been able to share our engagement with anyone. Alice had seen it all before it ever happened and shared with the rest of the family as it was happening. Sam's eyes widened when he saw the ring, and then his face settled into a satisfied smile. Emily wriggled out of his arms in order to get a closer look. She didn't squeal like girls in the movies do, but gently took my hand and grinned up at me.

"It's beautiful. I wish you both every happiness."

"Thank you, Emily."

"That's all good to hear. If you ever need us for anything, please don't hesitate to ask." Sam turned back to the stove after I nodded.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked.

"Oh heavens no. You're a guest, Bella. Why don't you take a seat and relax." Emily pointed to a chair at the table and returned to her dance with Sam as they finished up with dinner.

"It smells wonderful." I felt awkward sitting there and doing nothing while they both cooked, but it appeared as if they enjoyed this routine. I briefly wondered what it would be like to hunt with Edward. If we would share the same type of ease with each other.

"Thank you. It's some venison Sam brought home." She placed a plate of fresh bread shaped like pitas on the table and Sam brought over the stew. "Hope that's okay?"

I nodded as my stomach grumbled, letting me know exactly how hungry I was. "Sounds good."

We chatted about inconsequential things while we ate. The fresh bread and stew made for a simple but hearty and delicious meal. Emily and I both devoured our one bowl, and I watched somewhat appalled at the amount of food Sam was able to put away. She chuckled at my shocked expression when he scraped the bottom of the pot for his fourth bowl and gently rested her hand on my arm. "It's the wolf genes. Their metabolism burns through food so quickly. You should see it when they all get together. They eat us out of house and home." Sam gave us a wolfish grin and winked, before shoving another piece of bread in his mouth.

I was surprised by how gracious my hosts were. They'd treated me with nothing but respect and kindness. I certainly hadn't expected this level warmth and acceptance. From what I'd experienced that day in the woods between the two factions, I guess I expected them to merely tolerate my presence, not welcome me with open arms.

Sam insisted on cleaning up the dishes, and with a loving caress to Emily's womb, he sent us to the living room to relax.

"I don't usually watch television unless the guys are over for a game, but if you want to find something to watch, feel free." She offered me the remote, but I declined.

"That's okay. I'd rather enjoy the peace and quiet. There's always some level of noise at our house because Emmett is watching something or playing video games in the living room. If, by some miracle, the television is off, then there's music playing. I can't imagine how much worse it's going to be with vampire hearing..." My hand instantly covered my mouth, shocked that I'd let something like that slip, and I waited for an explosion from either of them.

Emily's eyes widened slightly, and she looked over at Sam who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest and a small smirk. "I gave them permission to change you."

"Why? You _hate_ them."

The couple exchanged a look and Sam came to sit down next to Emily. "You're right. We do hate vampires. It's what we are, and we can't help it. When vampires moved into the area, the wolf gene that had laid dormant for a couple generations, was reawakened. We are the protectors. The young men in the tribe take the form of the wolf so we can protect our people from the Cold Ones." He paused and grimaced before lovingly running his fingers over Emily's scarred cheek. "I was the first." Sam's entire being rippled unnaturally and Emily grasped his hands tightly.

"I had no idea what had happened to me when it occurred. I though I'd gone insane. It took me two weeks to calm down enough to phase back. Everyone had been looking for me. My mother and Leah had called the forest rangers and the police. When I finally found my way back, I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone about what had happened. They would have all thought I was crazy, or on drugs." He snorted. "Turns out they assumed that I was up to no good anyway. Leah was so angry with me..." Sam looked up, his brow furrowed. "We were high school sweethearts, Leah and I. I loved her with everything I had."

Hurt flashed across both their faces. "She's my cousin, but we grew up like sisters." Emily added.

I knew the confusion was evident on my face. "I'll explain it all." Sam assured me. "Old Quil came to visit one day and when I shook his hand, he nearly had a stroke. He quickly convened a meeting among the elders who remembered. The fact that my skin was so hot was a dead giveaway about my _condition_. Mr. Ateara, Billy, and Harry had actually seen their grandfathers phase. I finally had an explanation. I knew what I was and what my purpose was." He sighed. "I also knew others would be joining me, so I waited. I wanted to be there for them so they didn't have to go through the terror that I experienced. All of this, of course, had to be kept a secret. I couldn't even tell my mother, or Leah. Things were rough, but we were working them out. I loved her...so much."

Emily discreetly wiped a tear from her cheek and squeezed his hand once more in a silent show of support.

"One day Emily came to visit. The moment I laid eyes on her, my entire world shifted. She was all I could see. I'd heard the legends about imprinting, but never thought it would happen to me."

"Imprinting?" I blurted out, my curiosity causing me to rudely interrupt him. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's something that's been known to happen to our kind. Apparently the _wolf_ in us recognizes the one person who completes us. A soul mate, if you will. Once we meet them, it's permanent and irreversible. Nothing else matters and they come before all others. I loved Leah, but I imprinted on Emily. Being away from her physically hurts." He winced, as if remembering first hand.

"They were both so angry with me. Emily refused to pay me any attention because I'd hurt her cousin so deeply. I couldn't stay away from her. I followed her around like a lost puppy, just needing to be near her. She wouldn't even talk to me. The whole reservation was up in arms at what I scoundrel I was. Then one day, Emily finally agreed to go for a walk with me so we could talk. It turned into an argument, and I lost control. Emily was too close." Sam's eyes glistened with tears as he once more stroked her cheek. She dipped her head, her long hair shielding her face from us. "I've never been so heartsick in my entire life. The thought that I'd hurt the one person I needed more than anything tore me apart. I truly lost it then, rarely coming home. I chose to spend my days in wolf form running through the forests and avoiding everyone. They all thought the worst of me as it was. Being away from her felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest. The pain...the ache...was unbearable. But I felt I deserved it for the pain I'd caused her and Leah." He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, not wanting to cry in front of me. "It was Emily who tracked me down. She stalked after me in the woods and demanded I phase back so we could talk. She was so beautiful and fierce, even with the angry red gashes I'd caused marring her face. The next thing I knew, she was comforting me. She was exactly what I needed, and always will be." Sam kissed Emily's cheek and then pushed himself off the couch with a huff. He was trying to shake off his emotions. I hid a smile at how tender this hulking man-wolf could be.

"When we are in our wolf form, we share one mind. Much like your mind reader, we can all hear the thoughts of one another. It's our form of communication since we obviously can't talk. When Jacob phased, he learned that all of the legends were true. He found out the truth about the Cullens. Paul thought of the scene at the river, and Jake nearly went mad with rage. He swore they had either kidnapped or killed you. So he spent all his time trying to track them and, well, you know the rest of that story. I still am so sorry that I allowed it, but we really didn't know what to think at that time. When I got home, Emily and I talked. She helped me see that we weren't so different than your vampires."

A sound of disbelief escaped me. "You really see similarities there?"

He nodded solemnly. "We were all thrust into the supernatural life without anyone asking if it was what we wanted. Our lives were all irrevocably changed, and we've all had to learn to deal with those changes. We have had to learn to control our phasing just as your vampires learned to control their bloodlust. We both have superhuman speed and strength and still have to fit in with the humans to hide our secrets. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the idea."

I nodded, unsure of where he was going with this, but relieved that he seemed reasonable about the whole vampire thing.

"I didn't ask to fall in love with Emily. That choice was taken from me because of what I am. But I _do_ love her, more than anything. Being away from her hurts. It seems this is something else we have in common. Not that we've discussed it at length, but I know both you and Edward suffered the same kind of crippling pain when you were apart. That night I found you in the woods, you were nothing more than a shell. Knowing what you planned..." Sam swallowed thickly and I winced at the memory. We avoided each others' eyes. "I know that kind of pain. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy." The corner of his mouth pulled up into a small smirk. "It's as obvious to me as it must be to the rest of your family that you two are mates. You complete each other, and if this is the life you want, it is not my right to stand in the way. If someone tried to keep me away from Emily, I'd rather die than suffer that kind of agony. The treaty was written up the way it was in order to force the Cullens to keep their word that they wouldn't feed on humans. While, yes they have to _bite_ you in order to change you, it's not the same. It's a technicality that some of the pack wish to enforce, but I refuse to keep you two apart over semantics. It's not fair for him to watch you grow old and infirm while he remains frozen as he is for eternity. He doesn't have the option we do."

"What do you mean?"

"Surely you've noticed some of us are unusually large for our ages?"

I nodded. "Jake's just sixteen, but he looks like an adult."

"Right. See, when the gene is triggered, we go through one hell of a growth spurt. Within a matter of weeks, we reach our full potential. Then we stop aging."

"What?" I blurted out, disbelieving. _Werewolves were immortal too?_ I shook my head at the fact that I was surrounded by supernatural creatures who never aged, while every day I moved nearer to my death. At least I had the promise that Edward would change me, and soon. At least now he wanted it as much as I did.

"As long as we are phasing, we do not age. However, unlike your vampires, we have the option to stop phasing. Once we have enough control to do so, we begin to age again."

Emily laughed softly as I stared at him, gaping.

"So, you see, it's possible for me remain like this eternally and be forced to watch Emily grow old before my eyes. There is no way for me to make her like me – virtually indestructible and forever young. Thankfully, there is a way to unfreeze my body, so that I can spend the rest of my life growing old by her side. Edward doesn't have that option, but there is another way. He can make you like him, as long as he has the control. If this is what you want, I will support your decision."

I stood up and embraced him quickly. His skin was scorching hot, such a contrast from the icy cold touch of my vampire family. He towered over me and I had to crane my neck to look up to him. "Thank you. Thank you for understanding. This is what I want. I want to be with him, as one of them, for eternity. He deserves this happiness and we'll always be grateful to you for accepting our decision."

Sam gave me a quick grin and nodded. "Just...be careful. I mean, he can do this without killing you, right?"

I bristled at the implication and narrowed my eyes. "If anyone has the control to do it, Edward does. If not him, then Carlisle. You know his reputation."

"Sorry, we're just led to believe that when there is blood, they can't stop the feeding frenzy..."

"Do you know what happened to me in Phoenix?" My voice came out sharper than I intended.

"Well, no. Billy assumed they had hurt you in some way. I mean, you went out with the guy once, then came home and argued with Charlie, telling him you were leaving Forks. Next thing we heard was that you were in the hospital and had nearly died after losing a large amount of blood. We all made assumptions, but none of us knew what really happened."

"There were three nomad vampires in the area at that time. Surely you remember the _animal attacks_?"

"Of course. I'd caught their scent a few times, but was never able to track them down."

"I never even thought about you being out there, sorry. Well they were leaving town, but heard the Cullens playing baseball and decided to check it out. It was there that James, one of the males, decided he was in the mood for a game, and I was the prize." I told them both about how we made up a convincing story so that I could leave and keep Charlie safe. I described how the entire family worked together in order to try to take out the other vampires. Emily gasped when I explained how I evaded Jasper and Alice in order to go save my mother from James. Sam growled and shuddered with rage as I told them what he did to me in the ballet studio.

"He bit you?" Emily cried out.

"Yeah." I showed them my scar.

"But, you're still...you..." Sam stuttered.

"That's why you don't have to worry about Edward accidentally going too far. He could have let me go through the change, or he could have sucked the venom out."

A heavy silence fell on the room as they both considered what I had said. Both their faces wore expressions of disbelief and maybe a little bit of awe.

Sam's face shifted into one of determination. "He truly loves you and I give you both my blessing. Not that it would have mattered if I didn't." He winked as a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "For what it's worth...and I know you probably don't remember much of your time here from when you were a kid...but the tribe has always considered you and Charlie as our own. We'll take care of him, Bella."

A sudden surge of emotion brought tears to my eyes. My visits to Forks were so few and far between when I was younger, but I did have a vague recollection of playing with some of the kids on the beach. I couldn't tell you exactly who they were, but apparently they remembered me. Knowing the pack, and the tribe, would continue to watch over Charlie for me was the best gift I'd ever received.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me."

Sam gave me a kind smile and then turned to Emily. "I have to meet with the pack now. We'll be on patrol until this is over, but there will always be someone here watching in case anything happens. I haven't assigned Jacob a shift, so you won't have to see him." I whispered my thanks and he nodded before heading to his bedroom. Emily blushed and then followed him.

I couldn't help but giggle, knowing they needed a little privacy, and turned on the television so they wouldn't have to worry about me overhearing anything. Twenty minutes into a show about Alaskan fisherman trying to catch crabs while battling treacherous seas, they finally emerged. I had been musing about vampires taking over dangerous jobs like those and Sam's sudden presence beside me actually made me jump. For such a large guy, he certainly moved silently.

"I'm going to head out now, Bella. Try to get some sleep. We've got you and Charlie covered, and your vampires are going to take out Victoria and her army. It will all be over soon." His hot, heavy hand rested on my shoulder for a moment, patting it affectionately.

"Be careful." I pleaded, wracked with guilt that he was in danger because of me. If anything happened to him, I'd never forgive myself for taking Emily's husband and her baby's father away from them.

"Always am." Sam replied curtly, and with one last kiss to her lips, he left. Emily shut the door behind him, but didn't lock it. I started to mention it, but then realized that the only creatures we needed to be afraid of, wouldn't be stopped by a locked door.

Emily rested her hand against the door for a moment, no doubt worrying about Sam, but then turned to me with a warm smile. "Girl's night!" She giggled. I'd barely known this woman for a day and she was treating me as if I was one of her best friends. It felt nice. She hurried into the kitchen and emerged with her arms full of snacks. "There's ice cream in the freezer and popcorn for the microwave if you want it, but I figured this would be enough." Emily unloaded bags of chips and candy on the table in front of the couch. When she saw my wide eyes at the amount of junk, she blushed. "Yeah I know, but you wouldn't believe how hungry I've been. Why don't you pick out a movie."

I headed over to the shelves to find something to watch as she opened a bag of candy and dug in. Not really caring what we watched, I put on an oldie but goodie and joined Emily on the couch.

It seemed neither one of us was in the mood for a movie and she turned to me with a serious expression. "Sam is a good man." I opened my mouth to tell her I never thought otherwise, but she continued. "He's been through a lot, and this whole wolf thing has been really hard on him. At first, he couldn't help but be bitter towards the Cullens, since it was their presence that caused him to lose everything he'd planned for. You have to understand that all he knew were the legends and what the elders told him. He never took the time to get to know any of them. He wasn't there when his ancestors made the treaty. So, of course, in his mind they were the enemy." She paused and poured a handful of candy into her mouth. I waited patiently while she ate. "Sorry." I waved her off. "When he came back from Jacob's rescue attempt, he felt so guilty, Bella. Once he heard your side of the story and saw how much Edward cared for you, he felt awful for trying to take you away. He was conflicted for a while – battling between the ingrained hatred he thought he should feel, and the knowledge that they weren't so different after all. After a couple of days, I convinced him to talk to me. He actually broke down when he thought about how much they had been forced to give up after they were changed without any choice in the matter. His outlook on his own life brightened after that, and he's been so much happier."

"Good. You both deserve to be happy. Every path has it's sacrifices, and it is unfair that none of the pack or the Cullens had a choice. I do have a choice, and I know what I want. It's nice to know you two accept that."

"You're a reasonable person, Bella, and I know you haven't made the decision lightly. You know what you're going to be giving up and while I'm sure there will be some unexpected issues, you'll be better adjusted because you know what you're getting into." Emily's voice turned soft. "Sam had to give up so much. Did you know he had a scholarship? He was going to go to college in Seattle. He and Leah were going to get married. He had his whole life planned out. Then one day, everything changed. His whole future was decided for him. The person he was to love was decided by some sort of mystical imprinting, he was something more than human, and he was tethered to the reservation because of it all. Anyone would be bitter...most of the guys are. Jacob especially."

"I hope Jacob is able to come to terms with his lot in life as Sam was." I offered sincerely. While I may not have harbored any romantic feelings for him, he had been a friend. He deserved to be happy too. That happiness was not going to be with me though.

"Me too..." Emily looked like she wanted to say more, but she grabbed a handful of chips and we were quiet for a while, the movie still droning on in the background.

After a while, she let out a huge yawn and apologized. "I'm just so tired all the time." One hand rubbed her belly, while the other rubbed her eye.

"Why don't you go on to bed, and I'll clean all this up." I offered.

"You don't have to do that, Bella."

"I want to. Now shoo! Get some rest, because once that baby gets here you won't be getting any."

She giggled. "Goodnight, Bella. I"m so glad you're here. It's nice to be able to talk to someone who _knows_. Sleep well."

_A/N: The next chapter is already half written and will be up soon. Thanks to everyone for reading and I adore your reviews!_


	26. Chapter 26

I didn't. Sleep well, that is. I was used to the quiet, but everything was so unfamiliar, and of course Edward wasn't there. I tossed and turned for most of the night, eventually succumbing to exhaustion sometime in the early hours of the morning. What little sleep I did get was fraught with nightmares of Victoria. Pieces of my vampires littered the ground along with bloodied and battered bodies that were part man, part wolf. When I saw Victoria with Emily in her clutches, her talons reaching to rip the baby from her womb, I awoke with a scream. My skin was slick with perspiration and the sheets were tangled around my limbs. The door to my room flew open and one of the guys, Paul, was there scanning my room for the threat.

"It was just a dream." I whispered. His head spun so he could look at me and a scowl appeared on his face. He left without another word, the front door slamming behind him. Emily was next, peeking her head around the door.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her eyes wide with concern.

"Just a dream." I assured her.

She nodded. "I'm just about to start breakfast, if you want to go ahead and take a shower."

"Yeah. Thanks, Emily." I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

The water pressure was weak and the water itself smelled funny, but my shower was still relaxing. I felt cleansed, the lingering uneasiness over my dream had disappeared with the water down the drain. When I made it out to the kitchen, Emily was mixing up a huge batch of batter.

"Blueberry muffins. Some of the children went berry picking and Jared brought me over a huge bowl of them." She gestured to the plump, purplish berries. "First of the season."

"What can I do?"

"I've got everything under control. Once the muffins go in, I'll do some bacon." Emily patted her stomach. "I need some protein in the mornings and bacon sounds really good." I couldn't help but smile with her as I realized the thought of never carrying a baby in my womb didn't cause me any pangs of sadness. I was happy for her, for Sam, but it wasn't something I wanted, even if I'd had the option.

"Well, how about I grease these muffin tins for you?"

"Sure, that would be great. Thank you."

I sat down at the table where no less than four muffin tins were laid out. Forty-eight muffins. I'd seen Sam eat, so the quantity wasn't all that surprising. Emily set down a coffee tin of grease next to me and a towel. My mouth screwed up into an involuntary grimace as I realized I'd have to stick my hand in there and rub the stuff into each individual cup. I'd always used the non-stick spray or paper cups, but I knew they did things differently here and I wasn't about to argue. I choked back any sounds of disgust as I used my fingers to scoop out some of the grease and got to work. It wasn't so bad after the first couple. By the time I was on the third pan, Emily was already pouring batter into the ones I'd finished. We filled the time with idle chatter and she told me about her childhood on the Makah reservation and several stories about learning to cook with her Grandmother. Emily lived in a different world than the one I had grown up knowing. The legends were so much a part of their lives that she hadn't been too surprised to find out they were real.

"I've started recording the tribal legends. There's no collective record of them all, and I fear that as the years pass some will slip away. Not as many people stay on the reservations any more. Most take off the first chance they get. Other than the Pack, the rest of the tribe doesn't even know the legends are real. Some even consider them silly stories and don't come to the bonfires anymore. Soon the Elders will be gone and there won't be anyone to retell the stories to our children. We're saving for get a computer so I can put them into a better format than just handwritten notebooks."

"That is really admirable. I think it's important these days to preserve as much of our history as we can. Everything is so global now that a lot of the old stories and traditions are being forgotten. I bet you could even get it published. It's good that the tribe will have documentation of their history, even if most of the people don't believe it's real." That was really a noble thing for her to do. She wasn't that much older than me, and it was surprising how mature she was. That's probably why we were getting along so well. I never had the time or patience to deal with the likes of Jessica Stanley or Lauren Mallory. Picturing Jessica's reaction to finding out werewolves and vampires existed made me laugh out loud, and Emily gave me a wary look. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking about some of the girls I went to school with and how they would react to finding out that the guy they've been crushing on was a vampire. You seem much older than your years. Maybe it's this supernatural world we've been thrust into that makes us grow up faster than our peers."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe. You seem to have accepted everything easily. Most girls our age would have run away screaming. It seems you were meant for this life."

I shrugged, not wanting to really bring fate or anything spiritual into the conversation. Though, men who turned into wolves and the living dead screamed that some sort of magic was afoot. There certainly wasn't a rational scientific explanation for any of this.

"I'm not sure vampires keep any sort of recorded history. They have perfect recall and their one rule is to keep their existence a secret from humans, so I'd say not. But, even if they did write something down and it fell into the wrong hands, no one would take it seriously. All those myths about vampires – garlic, sunlight, holy water...all made up to throw humans off their trail. Can you imagine Victoria being scared off by a bulb of garlic?" I gestured to the braid of dried garlic hanging on her wall. Emily smirked and shook her head. "Of course some of the vampire legends are true, just like yours are. Carlisle has his very own."

Her jaw dropped open for a moment. "Really?"

I nodded. "There's a legend about the _Stregoni benefici_, a good vampire from Italy. He spent several decades in Italy with the Volturi, who tried unsuccessfully to persuade him to drink from humans. He refused of course. That is where the legend came from." I wondered briefly if I should be telling her these things, but the Quileutes had their own secrets to keep and I trusted Emily. There was the treaty after all.

"Wow. So, how old is Carlisle?"

"Twenty-three." My lips twitched, holding in a laugh. She shot me a mock glare. "Okay, okay. He's like three hundred and sixty-four."

Emily was speechless. I could see her mind trying to comprehend living through nearly four centuries.

"Emmett's the youngest, in vampire years. He was turned in 1935."

"Wow." She whispered. "Edward?"

"He was turned in 1918, when he was seventeen."

"Isn't that weird?"

I shook my head. "I don't really even think about it. He's just Edward. I mean, I know he's a vampire, but when we're together, age doesn't matter."

The timer went off on the muffins and I helped Emily pile the majority of them into a basket lined with a cloth. "Paul will take them to the guys. They usually meet here for breakfast, but Sam wanted to make sure he kept his word to Edward." She explained.

I felt awful for being such an inconvenience. "I'm sorry. He tends to be a bit overprotective."

Emily laughed. "Believe me, I know all about that. I think our men are more territorial because of their nature. And don't you dare apologize. As Sam told you, you're important to us, even if you do plan to spend eternity as one of our enemies." She nudged me playfully.

The front door slammed open then, disrupting our easy conversation. Paul stalked into the room, his dark eyes fixed on me as if he wished he could burn me to ash with just a glance.

"Paul Ward! Don't you ever slam my door like that again." He apologized curtly, but continued to glower at me from across the room. "Also, you will show our guest some respect." Emily scolded the giant man-child even though he towered over her by at least a foot and a half.

"She shouldn't be here. I don't care what Sam says, I'm not going to make nice with the leech-lover." He growled.

Emily shoved the basket into his hands and shooed him towards the door. "Then leave. Just wait until Sam sees how you've behaved, you'll be banned from the house and put on double duty for a week." I had to bite back a smile at the way she threatened him. She was going to be a great mom.

"I can't believe you'd betray us like this Emily." He murmured, shaking his head.

Fire flashed in Emily's eyes. "You have no right to speak to me like that Paul. Would you have me leave the reservation and Sam?"

"Of course not." His brow furrowed in confusion.

"Edward feels the same about her as Sam does about me."

Paul grit his teeth. "He's going to kill her."

"Need I remind you how dangerous you wolves can be?" Her voice was quieter, but more determined.

Paul grimaced as his eyes flickered over the scars marring her beautiful face before quickly moving away. He shook his head once.

"The Cullens didn't ask for this life anymore than any of you did. They've done what they could to make the best of their situation and preserve human life. They protect it, just like the Pack does. Right now they're getting ready to fight others of their kind who have been slaughtering humans all over Seattle. They came all the way back here to stop them. You may think the six of you are invincible, but up against seventeen human-drinking vampires you would not have stood a chance. Would you rather see our entire village decimated?" Paul opened his mouth to speak, but she continued. "You need to pull your head out of your rear-end and get over this ridiculous notion that the Cullens are evil. They aren't any more evil than our wolves; and if we can keep Bella safe, while her _family_ rids this area of a newborn vampire army, then we will do so with honor and respect – or has that aspect of you tribal heritage escaped you?"

"I..."

Emily cut him off again. "Bella and Edward are mates, Paul. I don't expect you to understand, but one day when you imprint, maybe you will. Maybe when you think about how badly you could hurt someone you love if you lost control, you'll realize you're not so different than these good vampires you hate so much."

Paul narrowed his eyes at me, but I refused to let him think he intimidated me. Emily turned to me then. "Come on, vampire girl, this wolf girl needs to eat." She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and pulled me back into the kitchen, ignoring Paul.

The quiet latch of the door let us know he had left and Emily's body immediately relaxed. She let out a breath. "That turned out better than I expected. Paul has a short temper and the worst control of them all. I really shouldn't have provoked him without one of his brothers here to protect us. I'm sorry...I just get so fed up with this ridiculous feud. I mean I understand they're upset because their lives have been completely altered...and yes the Cullens' presence was the catalyst. But it's not like Dr. Cullen knew that. He didn't move back here just to force a bunch of teen boys to turn into wolves. Now that he knows, he's promised not to use Forks as a permanent residence again. But it's just not enough...it's never enough...some of them won't be happy until the entire Cullen family is destroyed." She slammed her plate down on the table in frustration. I gasped at her revelation and she gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Bella. They know Edward will eventually turn you and were just waiting for the chance to declare war once the treaty was broken. The fact that Sam sanctioned your turning has some of them furious."

"No, it's okay. I'd rather know the truth, no matter how ugly it is." I picked at the muffin at my plate. "This is really good." I mumbled over a mouthful. Emily blushed a bit and thanked me. "You know, I imagine that is similar to how each of the Cullens felt after they were changed. I know Rosalie resents what she is and even after all these years, she mourns the normal human life she lost. Seventy years later and she still harbors that resentment. These boys have only had months to deal with such a huge change It's understandable that they would want revenge on what caused this to happen to them. Sam has had longer to adjust...and he has you. That makes it easier for him to make the best of things. From what I understand, Edward was quite unhappy with his life before he met me. Can you imagine spending eighty years living with several other mated pairs while you were alone? Maybe they'll imprint and find happiness like we have." I hope they could learn to accept their fate. Especially Jacob. He had been a friend and the idea of him living the rest of his life angry and bitter saddened me.

"Maybe." Emily smiled before shoving another piece of bacon in her mouth. She was definitely enjoying her breakfast.

"You know, the Cullens would never seek the wolves out just to hurt or kill them. They don't live as they do _because_ of the treaty. Even without it, they would abstain from human blood and not trespass on La Push lands because they respect others and revere human life. Edward's only concern is my safety here, knowing that young wolves have a hard time controlling themselves, just as young vampires do. Carlisle is the most compassionate man I've ever met. If he'd known their presence here would do this, he would never have come back. He would never have wanted to sentence these boys to this fate."

She nodded, then swallowed her mouthful of muffin. "I know. Sam's been trying to convince them of this, but you know how hardheaded teenage boys can be."

I agreed and then we finished eating and cleaned up the kitchen together. I settled onto the couch, ready to find some mind-numbing television show to watch in order to distract me from the fact that my family was going into battle at any moment. Emily disappeared into her room then and returned with a couple of notebooks.

"These are the legends I told you I was recording. If you'd like to read them, I could use another set of eyes. Feel free to make notes if you have any advice, especially about editing and grammar. I'd hoped to go to college and take some courses...but...well things change, you know?"

Even with her darker skin tone, I could see her face heated up with a blush. "I'd love to read them, and I'd be happy to help in any way possible. You don't need to go to school in order to be a great writer. Besides, maybe if you get that computer, you could take some courses over the internet." I made the suggestion as a plan formed in my mind. The Cullens always encouraged me to spend whatever I wanted, and there was finally a cause that inspired me to pull out my shiny black credit card as soon as this was all over. It would be my way of thanking Sam and Emily for putting aside their prejudices and reaching out to my vampires.

Time passed slowly even though I was absorbed in the legends of the tribe. Emily had a gift for capturing the essence of the stories and I could almost hear one of the elders telling the tales, his weathered face illuminated by the firelight. Emily was knitting something tiny, no doubt for her baby. The shrill ring of the telephone cut through the silence, making us both jump in surprise.

"Bella, it's for you." Emily held the receiver out for me with a knowing smile. My heartbeat immediately picked up, knowing who was on the other end of the line.

"Hello?"

"Bella." Edward's dulcet tones caused me to relax instinctively. It had been over a year since I'd heard his voice over the phone.

"Hey." I breathed. There was a moment of silence between us and I knew he was soaking in the sound of my voice just as I was his.

"Miss you."

"You too." I wondered if he had his eyes closed and a ridiculous grin on his face like I did.

"Are they being good to you?"

"Oh yeah. They're good people. Emily has done everything she can to make me comfortable and we actually have a lot in common."

"That's good to hear." There was a long pause before he spoke again. "I can't stand being away from you like this, but it will all be over soon."

"Did Alice see something? When are you going?" My pulse pounded in my ears as I waited anxiously for his reply.

"Today. In just a little while, we're heading out. I had to hear your voice before we left. I needed to tell you I love you and you are my life."

His words and the anxiety in his voice brought tears to my eyes. We both knew there was a possibility this wouldn't turn out perfectly. "I love you too, Edward. Always and forever." I whispered. "Come back to me." I begged.

"I will." He choked out. Then, after clearing his throat, he spoke again. "May I speak to Sam?"

"He's not here. Just Emily."

"That's fine. Let me talk to her."

"Okay. I love you." I needed him to know and I couldn't say it enough. I longed to be able to hold him in my arms and feel his lips against my own.

"I love you too. I _will_ see soon."

I nodded, not even thinking that he couldn't see me, and called out for Emily. She eyed me worriedly as she took the receiver from me. Emily had done a wonderful job of distracting me, but reality came crashing back down and I was terrified for my family all over again.

"Yes?"

I moved back to the couch. Emily's side of the conversation didn't give me any clue as to what they could be speaking about, so I picked up the notebook again and resumed reading. The shifting of the couch brought me out of my fog and I realized I had been staring at the same page for ten minutes.

She rested one warm hand on my arm. "Everything is going to be okay, Bella. They'll take care of Victoria and be at the treaty line to pick you up before the day is over with."

I nodded, my teeth digging into my bottom lip in an effort to stave off the tears. Just when I'd finally gotten them all back, Victoria had to resurface. We were supposed to have forever, and the idea that we may not get that...I shook the thought right out of my head. Emily was right. The odds were on our side. My vampires were gifted and talented. Some of them had been soldiers in both human and vampire wars, and some were trained just for this purpose. Edward could read the thoughts of his opponents and would always have the upper hand. He would be fine. He had to be.

I returned to Emily's notebook and immersed myself in the legends of the tribe. A soft snore sounded and I looked up to find she had fallen asleep on the couch, her hands still holding the knitting needles. I gently removed the pile of yarn from her lap and pulled the throw off the back of the chair to cover her with. It was sunny at the moment, so I decided to head to the front porch in order to enjoy the rare weather. I wondered if the sun was a good omen or bad for my family. What a sight they would be, sparkling in the sun's rays as they fought Victoria's army. I wished I could see it. Not knowing was the most difficult part of it all. Stupidly, I thought if I was present, there would be something I could do for help, but Edward was right that I would most likely be a distraction. He'd be too worried about me getting hurt and unable to put his complete focus into the battle.

There was a swing on the front porch and it was easy to envision Sam and Emily curled up there in the evenings, his arm wrapped around her as she leaned her head against his shoulder. I could see her belly swollen with the life that had just begun to grow and their warm, wide smiles as they felt the baby kick. There was a gentle breeze and the slight swaying of the swing soothed me as I delved back into Emily's stories once more. I had only managed a handful of pages when a shadow fell over me. When I looked up at the hulking figure looming above me, I wasn't sure if I should be happy to see him or afraid. His eyes were dark and cold, but his lips were curved into a half-smile.

"Jacob?"


	27. Chapter 27

Jacob's hands were clenching and unclenching by his sides. I couldn't get over how much he had grown in such a short period of time, even knowing the cause was the supernatural. Gone was the innocence from his eyes and the friendly smile I remembered. In such a short period of time, this boy had so much responsibility heaped on his shoulders. His entire world had been turned upside down. When we walked along the beach and he told me of his tribe's legends, he had no clue they were true. He scoffed at them.

"Just a bunch of superstitious natives, eh Jacob?" I smiled wryly.

His face darkened and he gave a curt nod. We stared at each other for a few minutes and his silence was making me uneasy.

"How could you, Bella?" He blurted out before his lips pressed into a thin line once more. It looked like he had a lot more he wanted to say to me, but he was holding back.

"How could I what?"

His mouth curved into a deep frown. "You knew what they were." He sounded so broken and I didn't understand why he was so hurt. It's not like we were the best of friends and I'd betrayed him. If we'd spent more time together, we might have become closer, but we hadn't had the opportunity. There were only a handful of interactions between us and while Jacob was easy to be around, nothing significant ever happened between us. Apparently the feelings were stronger on his side of things.

"You basically told me that day on First Beach." I admitted as I continued to study him.

He nodded. "How could you still associate with them once you figured it out? Don't you know how dangerous they are?"

"Not any more dangerous than young werewolves."

Jacob grimaced. "They're _dead_, Bella. They drink _blood_."

"They're not dead, they're supernatural, just like you. And they drink animal blood. We eat animals too. I don't see the problem."

"It's _not_ the same!" He growled and turned away.

"No it's not the same, but it's not as different as you think either. As long as you keep phasing you'll never age. Edward doesn't have that choice. Believe me, if there was a way for him to become human, he would do it. He didn't choose this life, just like you didn't. He doesn't _want_ to be a vampire." I'd gotten angry and started to follow him out into the front yard.

He turned around to face me. "How could you do this to Charlie?" I could hear the unspoken _"and me"_ in his words. This was about more than just me consorting with vampires. This was about me becoming a vampire.

"He already thinks I'm dead, Jacob. And I would be if it wasn't for _them_."

"You could still come home. We could come up with a story and you could live a perfectly happy human life."

"I wouldn't be happy without Edward. It would be like Sam without Emily. I love him, Jacob. I choose him, and I choose his way of life."

"I could make you happy, Bella, just give me a chance." His overheated hands were gripping my forearms and he was leaning down towards me. I tried to pull my arms away, but his grip was too tight. "Give _us_ a chance." He whispered, his lips not more than an inch from mine. "You could learn to love me too." Then his lips were on mine and he was kissing me. I struggled in his grip to no avail and knew I'd have bruises on my arms by the time this was over. Edward would be pissed. Since I knew I couldn't get away from him, I simply went limp and waited for him to finish. When he finally pulled away, he grinned in satisfaction, and when he finally let me go, I pulled my arm back and smacked him as hard as I could in an effort to remove that grin from his face.

What I didn't count on was the searing pain that blasted through my hand. Jacob wasn't even fazed as I cradled my hand to my chest and moaned in pain. He was as solid as my vampires. There wasn't even a red mark. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" I wanted to shake my hand but knew it would only make it hurt worse.

"Are you okay?" He asked calmly and all I wanted to do was hit him again, though I doubted that would be wise. Maybe if I could find a crow bar laying around... "Let me see, Bella."

"No! You broke my hand! Get away from me!" I screamed at him.

I was so focused on my anger towards the huge brute who just forced himself on me that I didn't even hear the car pull up.

"Bella?" The sound of his familiar voice sent my world into a tailspin. And that was only the beginning.

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing it all to be a dream. I had no idea how I could explain this. I begged every deity I could think of to make it not real.

"Bella!" His voice cracked with emotion.

Opening my eyes, I forced myself to look at him. He looked so much older. His hair had more patches of gray. He'd lost some weight, but there were dark circles under his eyes. Eyes that looked haunted. He seemed frozen in place, unsure if he was truly seeing me.

"Dad." I whispered, unsure of how to proceed. The secret would be out now and my first thoughts were of his safety. I had to protect him at all costs.

Jacob had started towards the car to help Billy out, and I realized in all likelihood this had been a setup. Before I had a chance to process that thought, he stiffened mid-step and his entire focus was on the tree line. I watched, fascinated, as he inhaled deeply and then began to shudder. Jacob took off running towards the trees when another movement caught my eye. A flash of red and dread settled deep into the pit of my stomach. Victoria was here. She was headed straight for me, and I was frozen on the spot. It was then that I noticed the gigantic red wolf leaping towards her and they collided in midair with a loud crash.

"Bella!" Emily's frantic voice called out to me from the porch of her house.

"Get back inside Emily! Now!" I ordered her. Our eyes met, and hers were wet with tears of worry. "Get inside." I growled, needing her to be safe. Realistically, I knew the house wouldn't stop a vampire from getting to her if they wanted to, but in my mind if she was out of sight, it was unlikely Victoria would go hunting for her when she had me right here in front of her. I watched as she wrapped her arms protectively around her belly and then finally closed the door with her on the other side of it. It was one less thing I had to worry about.

Jacob had thrown Victoria into the trees, but she wasn't down for long. Her eyes were on me and I knew her one goal was to get past the giant wolf and kill me. My attention was once again diverted as another wolf appeared. This one was dark silver in color and smaller than the one I knew was Jacob. I thought this wolf would help Jake, but his attention seemed to be drawn to something else in the woods. As soon as I could make out who it was, Tanya came barreling out of the woods in my direction. The other wolf set it's sights on her and for a split second I didn't know if she meant me harm or if she came to stop Victoria.

Tanya locked eyes with me and seemed to relax a bit. "Bella." She mouthed with a smile, and then she was gone. The gray wolf had tackled her and they were currently tumbling towards Charlie's cruiser where he seemed frozen in shock.

"Dad!" I yelled, running towards him. "Dad!" He finally turned to look at me, though I could tell he was watching the fray out of the corner of his eye. "Get in the car and get out of here!" I had arrived at his door and began to try to push him into the car. "Get in Charlie! You have to get out of here!"

"Bella?" He asked brokenly, before he finally seemed to snap out of it. "What's going on?" He demanded then.

"I'll explain everything later, but you have to get out of here. Please!"

He nodded then, his face set in determination. "Get in the car, Bella."

"No, Charlie. I have to stay here. I'll be fine, I promise, but I have to stay."

A loud metallic screeching filled the air and I whirled around to see who had been hurt. The gray wolf had Tanya pinned to the ground, her left arm on the ground ten feet away. Forgetting the argument with Charlie, I sprinted over to the pair. "Stop! She's a Cullen!" I screamed. I grabbed the wolf's fur with one hand and unsuccessfully tried to pull him off of her. He growled at me, his long canines glinting in the sun. "She's a Cullen! She came here to stop Victoria. Let her up and go help Jacob!" I continued to try to move the giant beast with my shoulder, knowing that if I tried to hit him, I'd only hurt myself again.

"It's true." Tanya pleaded. "I followed Victoria from the battlefield. I knew she was going after Bella and I was trying to stop her."

The wolf removed his paws from her body and snorted. His head whipped around when Jacob let out a whine. Victoria had thrown him into a tree and he was having a hard time getting up. She was advancing on him, ready to finish him off. The other wolf looked from Tanya to me one more time before loping off to help his brother. I quickly grabbed Tanya's arm and gave it back to her., trying to repress a shudder at the grotesque sight.

"Thanks." She grimaced as she held the dismembered arm to her shoulder. The skin immediately began to knit itself together again.

"What happened?" I asked, my heart racing with anxiety. If Victoria had gotten away...I didn't even want to think about what that might mean for my family.

"He's fine, Bella." She tried to reassure me first. "Victoria never showed up for the battle. I was chasing a newborn who was trying to get away, and came across her trail. Realizing she was headed for the reservation, I decided to track her and let the newborn go. I didn't have time to go back and get anyone else, though I tried to tell Edward with my thoughts, but I don't know if he heard me."

I felt some relief, but I knew nothing would be okay until Edward was back in my arms.

"Thanks for letting me know. Are you okay?" She nodded and shrugged her shoulder, causing her to wince.

"It stings, but as soon as it's healed, I'll be fine." She looked back at me, then behind me, and her eyes widened. "Look out!" Tanya cried as she threw herself over me, just in time to see the not-Jacob wolf flying through the air over us. The impact with the ground was hard, though she tried to soften the blow. I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and when Tanya stiffened, I knew I must be bleeding. I could tell she stopped breathing and she leapt up, putting some distance between us. The impact had jarred my injured hand and I was biting back the tears. We both looked around and noticed four more wolves had now joined Jacob and the sounds of a vampire being torn apart filled the air.

I looked around to check on everyone and saw the gray wolf was now limping back towards the pack. My father was sitting down in his cruiser with Billy in the passenger seat. They were both transfixed on the scene in front of them, watching as the wolves gathered the white marble chunks of what used to be Victoria. The biggest wolf, one with black fur, phased back into his naked human form and I watched as Sam sprinted for the house. His gaze landed on me and he checked me over visually before grinning and winking. In a couple minutes, he was back out of the house wearing a pair of shorts and holding something in his hand. When he reached the rest of the pack, I realized it was a lighter, and Victoria's remains were quickly set on fire. The acrid purple smoke rose towards the sky taking most of my worries with it.

_Victoria was gone._

No longer would she out there hunting me. No more lives would be taken in her misguided attempt at revenge. Those I loved were finally safe.

After Sam made sure all the pieces of Victoria were in the pyre, he loped over to me. His brow creased as he saw me cradling my broken hand. "Are you okay?" He asked as his large hands grasped my shoulders and his nostrils flared. "Where are you bleeding?"

"It's just my head. A small cut from a rock when I ducked in order to dodge the flying wolf. I think my hand is broken though."

Sam's brow creased and he nodded. "I am so sorry, Bella. I don't know how he got around the injunction, but Jacob was not supposed to approach you at all. He had been ordered to stay away." He shook his head. "Edward will never forgive me."

"Actually, I think Jacob is the one who should be asking my forgiveness." Edward's unmistakable voice called out from the tree line. Both our heads jerked up and I drank in the sight of my beautifully disheveled vampire. _He was safe. _ Carlisle and Esme stood behind him, and from the easy smiles on their faces, I knew that we'd come out of this unscathed. It took me a minute, but I finally found my feet and ran as fast as I could towards him. In a show of vampire speed, he met me halfway and scooped me up into his arms as gently as possible. He buried his nose in my neck and inhaled deeply, reassuring himself that I was indeed fine. "I love you." He murmured and I returned the sentiment, placing both hands on either side of his head and pulling his face away from me so I could claim his lips in a searing kiss. A throat cleared and he chuckled, pulling away and turning to the person at his side.

"Bella." Carlisle's warm smile was contagious. We were all feeling the victory. "Let me take a look." He gestured towards my hand. His cool fingers deftly examined it and when he found the broken bone, I cursed. Carlisle pressed his lips into a firm line and I felt Edward stiffen at my side, no doubt reading the diagnosis in Carlisle's thoughts. They both looked at each other then, locked in some kind of staring contest until Edward relaxed and nodded minutely. I assumed he conceded and would not be hunting down a certain reddish-brown werewolf. "You've definitely broken it. I'll have to put a cast on it when we get back to the house." I groaned, knowing how uncomfortable that cast was going to be.

"Bella, love, there's someone who really needs to talk to you." Edward spoke softly, his gaze fixated on a point behind me.

"He saw everything, Edward."

"I know. He's taking it quite well." He tried to reassure me.

"But what about the Volturi." I nearly whimpered.

"They won't come here. They won't find out."

I hoped he was right.

I turned around to face Charlie. His expression was torn between anger and relief and his dark eyes studied me carefully. I wished for Edward's mind reading abilities at that moment. I didn't know how to proceed. Should I push him away so that when I did join Edward in immortality, he would be spared the grief of losing me a second time?

I turned back to Edward. "What do I do?" I whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"Should I push him away? Make him think I left because I didn't want to be here?"

Realization dawned on him. "Whether you push him away or not, he already knows the truth. He's already wondering if you're one of us. He's trying to figure out if we took you against your will or if you left on your own."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I can't tell you what to do, Bella. It's up to you. Alice hasn't seen anything either way that I know of. Keeping your distance won't change anything, but it will leave him with many unanswered questions."

I appreciated that Edward no longer tried to tell me what to do, but this was one instance where I'd appreciate his guidance. I thought about what he'd said and realized that Charlie was already in danger because of what he witnessed. Giving him some closure wouldn't put him in any more danger, and he deserved it. I'd put him through too much as it was. Leaving him with unanswered questions would be cruel.

Once more I turned towards my dad. I'd be lying if I said I didn't long to feel his arms around me again. I missed Charlie.

"Dad?" I whispered, walking slowly towards him.

A spark of hope glimmered in his wet eyes. When I turned away from him, he'd thought I was going to reject him.

"Bells." My name left his lips like a prayer. Charlie closed the distance between us quickly and wrapped me up in a tight hug. I felt his shoulders shake with silent sobs and I had to hold back my own tears. I hugged him back just as fiercely and gripped the back of his jacket with my good hand, not wanting to let him go.

When he released me, he quickly wiped his face, not wanting me to see the tears. "Are you okay?" He asked roughly, his dark eyes searching my own.

"I'm good, Dad. Really good."

He looked skeptical, but he nodded and then looked down to where I was cradling my hand. "What happened to your hand?"

"I slapped Jake."

His eyes grew wide. "Why?"

"He kissed me." I shrugged and he chuckled. He looked behind me and when I turned my head, I saw we had an audience. Sam, Jacob, and Billy stood to one side, while Carlisle and Edward were on the other. Esme was with Tanya behind them, and the rest of the pack had phased back, found shorts and were standing by the smoldering pile of Victoria's ashes.

His expression grew serious. "Why..." He stopped and looked around again. "What the hell is going on?" He demanded.

"Um..." I turned to look at Edward for help. He stepped up behind me and took my hand. Sam stepped forward on the other side and laid his hand on my shoulder.

"Chief Swan, I think we should go inside and talk." Sam spoke first. "We'll explain our side of things, and then Dr. Cullen can take over." He looked to the centenarian vampire for confirmation.

"Yes. I am sure you have questions about what you just witnessed and where Bella fits into all this. If you'll come and give us a chance to explain, I'm sure we'll be able to answer all your questions." Charlie gave me a hard look and nodded curtly. Sam then gestured for Jacob, who started pushing Billy's wheelchair towards Emily's house. The rest of us followed.

Emily accosted me as I entered the room. She was full of apologies for Jacob and excitement that the threat had been eliminated without any casualties on our side. We all found a place to sit in the living room and Emily served us iced tea with Esme's assistance. Edward cradled my broken hand between his own, the cold helping with the pain and swelling. Sam handed a prescription bottle to Carlisle, who nodded and then dispensed one of the white pills into his hand and held it out for me. "It will help with the pain." I took it eagerly as my stomach was beginning to churn from the events of the day combined with the pain of a broken bone.

"Billy, would you like to start, or should I?" Sam asked of his elder, the rightful chief of his tribe.

Billy held up his hand. "Charlie, I want you to know that these were secrets I had to keep for the safety of my people. I did not wish to betray you, but some things cannot be told." Charlie eyed his old friend warily and nodded. "The legends are true, Charlie. We are descended from wolves."

Charlie was quiet for a few minutes as he processed Billy's words. "Well damn, we used to drink and laugh about those old stories after listening to Old Quil drone on all night." He chuckled. "Jacob's a wolf?"

"You saw it with your own eyes, old friend."

"Huh."

Jacob's shoulders shook with silent laughter at Charlie's bafflement.

"Okay. So where do these wolves fit in with what's been going on here in Forks?" He immediately slipped into police chief mode.

"The huge bear sightings." Sam volunteered.

"What about the missing hikers?" Charlie asked.

"Well, that's the rest of the story. Dr. Cullen should probably take if from here."

"Please, call me Carlisle." He smiled warmly at everyone gathered in the little room. I almost believed he had some sort of talent for putting people at ease, though Edward insisted his compassion was his gift. "The wolves had nothing to do with the missing hikers, Charlie. They were trying to protect them, only they came upon the scene too late. I'm afraid the ones responsible for all those deaths, as well as the ones in Seattle, are of my kind."

"Your kind?"

"The Cold Ones." Billy interjected.

"Bloodsuckers." Jacob sneered. Sam growled sharply his outburst.

"Yes, there are many names for our kind. Vampire is the most common."

Charlie stood up abruptly, appearing a little panicked. "The Cold Ones? _All_ the legends are true?" His voice cracked with disbelief.

"Calm down, Charlie. We won't harm you, or anyone else. My family is different from others of our kind. We don't feed from humans. We respect human life and exist on a diet of animal blood."

"Animal blood?" He shook his head, trying to wrap his brain around everything. "Bells? You knew this?"

I nodded. "When Edward saved me from Tyler's van, I knew there was something different about him. I persuaded Jacob to tell me about the legends, then put it all together and figured out what he was. He's never hurt me, Dad."

"Phoenix?" He was handling everything much better than I expected. Here he was, finding out his dead daughter was actually alive, that she consorted with vampires _and_ werewolves, and he hadn't even raised his voice.

"Long story, Dad." My head was started to get fuzzy and I knew the pain killers were kicking in. "Carlisle?"

"The animal attacks were actually vampire attacks. There were others of our kind in the area. Human drinkers. They were passing through, but we caught their attention one night."

"Baseball." Charlie murmured, remembering the night I yelled unforgivable things at him and left. He was putting it all together faster than I expected.

"He's just as perceptive as you are." Edward murmured in my ear and I nodded in agreement.

"Yes, we were playing baseball. They came upon us and the head of their coven took an interest in Bella. James was what we call a tracker, or hunter. He took delight in the game of hunting his prey and Bella was just too intriguing for him. She was a human with a large coven of vampires protecting her. The prize was irresistible in his eyes." Carlisle made complete eye contact with Charlie. "It was all an act, Charlie. He was listening and she had to make it believable. We led him on a wild goose chase for a bit, but he figured out what we were up to and that she had fled to Phoenix. James made her believe that he had her mother and she gave Alice and Jasper the slip to go meet him. We almost lost her that night."

Edward's jaw clenched and pain flashed through his eyes as he remembered. His fingers caressed the scar from James' bite.

"He didn't have Renee, and she didn't fall down the stairs and through a window." Charlie glared at me disapprovingly. "Why would you knowingly put yourself in danger like that, Bells?"

"I thought he had Mom."

Charlie shook his head, but his mustache twitched as he fought back a smirk.

"No, she was tossed around a ballet studio like a rag doll. He broke her leg and almost drained her."

"Carlisle!" Edward growled.

"It's okay, Edward. I'm safe." I tried to reassure him, running my fingers through the hair at the back of his head.

"He doesn't need to know all the gory details."

"I'd prefer to know everything, if you don't mind." Charlie spoke to Carlisle.

Carlisle nodded. "Well, what you saw today was a direct result of that encounter. We arrived just in time to save her that night and we destroyed James. There were two other members of his coven. Laurent had separated from them that night. He wanted to give our lifestyle a try and I directed him to another family that lives as we do. The third member was James' mate, Victoria. She was helping him find Bella, but she never showed up in Phoenix. In the past months, the rising death toll in Seattle was caused by her recruiting a vampire army. Victoria wanted revenge for her mate's death and decided Bella's life would be the payment. She started turning humans into vampires and then let them hunt freely in the city. They were coming after our family, Bella in particular. We've spent the past week picking off the newborn vampires as we formed a strategy, and today we fought the rest of them. What you saw was the wolves destroying Victoria. She had figured out where we hid Bella and was going after her." Carlisle turned his attention to Sam then. "I must extend our deepest gratitude for assisting us with this matter. Thank you for keeping Bella safe. Thank you for taking out Victoria."

"Not a problem, Carlisle. Thank you for coming back and taking care of the problem."

The two men nodded at each other and a new truce had been made before our eyes.

"So, where does Bella's story fit in all this?" His eyes flickered over to me and I could see the hurt in them.

"I'm so sorry, Dad." Tears streamed down my cheeks, knowing how much pain I'd caused this man.

"I just don't understand. Why would you do something like that? Or was it all a set up?"

I shook my head, but couldn't stop sobbing. Edward pulled me into his chest and tried to soothe me.

"Sir, that was my fault." I felt his chest vibrate as he spoke.

I could almost feel Charlie's angry gaze on Edward. "You have no idea what you put her through." He grit out between his teeth.

"I know, Sir, and I'll never forgive myself for that. I thought I was protecting her. My world was too dangerous for her and I loved her too much to let her be hurt by another of my kind. I wanted her to live a normal, _human_ life, free from the supernatural."

I heard Charlie's shape inhale and when I looked at him, I saw something akin to respect in his expression.

"However, I went about it the wrong way and I said some horrible things that hurt her deeply. I felt I needed to be convincing, and I took it too far. She wasn't able to cope with the pain I'd caused her and did indeed...try..." His voice trailed off and I felt his arms tighten around me.

The room was silent, but I could feel their judgment. At the time, I didn't see another way out. The pain was too much. It was so much more than emotional heartbreak. It was physical pain. It was agony. It felt like a hole had been ripped through my chest and I couldn't breathe from the ache.

"Alice found out what Bella was planning and we got there in time to save her. I pulled her out of the river and we helped her get well, both physically and emotionally. There's more that we need to tell you, but I think that perhaps this has been enough for now?"

Charlie opened his mouth, no doubt he was full of questions, but then he closed it again and nodded.

Carlisle stood then. "We need to get Bella home and set her hand, but we'd be happy to have you over and we can discuss things more."

"You're going to stick around for a while then?" Charlie asked, looking relieved.

"We'll be here for as long as we need to be. We're not going to take off with her, Charlie. You have my word." Esme smiled warmly at him.

My dad's shoulders relaxed then. "Okay, take care of my girl, and I'll come by tomorrow so we can continue this discussion."

"Sounds like a plan. We're at the old house."

Esme and Charlie hashed out a few details, before he headed over to Billy and held out his hand. "It may take me a while to wrap my head around all this, but I'll see you next Saturday for our usual fishing trip." He paused awkwardly. "You don't turn into one of those giant wolves, do you?"

Billy laughed weakly. "No, Charlie. I don't." I wondered how he felt about that.

"Jacob." Charlie shook his hand, then moved on to Sam. "Thank you for keeping my little girl safe. I'm guessing that it was the wolf in you that found her in the woods that night?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, Sir."

"Thank you for that."

"Not a problem. We're the protectors of our people, and that includes Forks. Whenever the Cullens aren't here that is." He smirked. Charlie opened his mouth to ask another question, but Sam held up his hand. "Tomorrow, Charlie."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks again." They shook hands and then he turned to me. "I'll walk you out."

I said my goodbyes. The exchange with Billy and Jacob was reserved.

"You still have a choice." Jacob reminded me.

"I've made my choice, Jacob." I hoped he'd get the hint.

Emily ran off to her bedroom as I approached Sam.

"Thanks for everything, Sam. You'll never know how much I appreciate it."

"I think I have an inkling." He winked. "Take care, Bella. Be careful and always remember we're here if you need us."

"Thanks." I whispered as we embraced. When he released me, I saw that Emily had returned. Her cheeks were wet with tears.

I gave her a sad smile. "Oh, I'm so emotional these days." She joked, swiping another tear from eye. "Give me your wrist." I looked at her funny, but held out my wrist. She slipped a bracelet around it and tied it quickly. When I brought my arm up closer to examine it, I realized it was several thin strips of intricately braided leather. There were a few beads woven into the design too, and in the middle was a silver button with the image of a wolf etched onto it. "Just something to remember your wolf-girl by." Emily pulled me into a tight hug. "You've become such a good friend in the little while I've known you. Please keep in touch...even _after_." She whispered the last part so Charlie didn't hear.

"I will. Thank you for everything, Emily." We smiled at one another and hugged once more before Edward led me out of the house.

Charlie followed behind us and I turned to him once we reached the cruiser. He jerked his chin to the side, indicating to Edward he'd like a moment alone with me and Edward obliged him, affording him the illusion of privacy.

"Bells." His voice was choked with emotion. "I just...I can't tell you how good it is to know you're still alive. Thinking you were..." Charlie sucked in a sharp breath and his face contorted in anger. "You were always so strong and independent. I never thought something as common as heartbreak would be so traumatic for you. I'm sorry I didn't do more...that I didn't force you to get help. I never imagined you would..." He huffed. "I'm so thankful I have a second chance. I guess I'm grateful to that boy for saving you, even if he was the cause of all this." His eyes were steely as he met my gaze. "Vampires? Really, Bella? Why the hell didn't you run screaming when you found out?" He shook his head and gripped his short hair in one hand before blowing out a breath and grabbing me into a hug. "I'm just glad you're here. Don't you dare disappear on me again." This was the most emotion I'd ever seen Charlie express and tears spilled over onto my cheeks once more.

"I promise I won't." I made sure to look him in the eye so he knew I meant it.

"I love you, Bells."

I choked back a sob. "I love you too, Dad."

He pressed his lips into a firm line and nodded before getting in his cruiser. "See you tomorrow."

As I raised my hand to wave, cool arms wrapped around my waist and I leaned back into the man who was my everything, needing his support.

"He's so much like you." He whispered. "As long as you're happy...and alive..." Edward paused. "Then he doesn't care so much about the vampire and werewolf thing. He's actually thinking we'd be good additions to the force."

I was a little shocked at the fact that Charlie hadn't freaked out over my involvement with the supernatural, and surprised that he hadn't yelled at me. Renee would have completely lost her mind over the situation. But Charlie and I had rarely had any sort of disagreement. Edward was right – it was clear that I was his daughter. He handled everything with the same sort of ease as I had.

"Let's get you home, love." Edward picked me up and cradled me against his chest. "Close your eyes, we'll have to run." I listened to him and allowed myself to be lulled into a calm haze by the steady movement and his scent. I could tell he wasn't running as fast as he usually did in an effort not to jostle me any more than necessary.

As we emerged from the trees, sudden panic seized me as I wondered if the Volturi were still here. They were the last vampires I wanted to see. Jane's gift terrified me – probably the first time I'd ever had a normal reaction to a vampire since becoming involved in their world. She could incapacitate my family with such ease and Carlisle had been candid when telling us how much she enjoyed causing others pain. Jane had been changed when she was little more than a child and reveled in the power her gift afforded her, when otherwise her size and youth would have placed her at the bottom of the ladder.

Edward sensed my trepidation. "The Volturi has left. Peter and Charlotte are still here, but they're out with Jasper at the moment...tying up loose ends." I nodded absently at the latter, letting relief flood through me that the evil one had left.

We entered through the back door and Alice immediately engulfed me in a tight hug. Almost too tight. "I am so glad to have you back home. I hated not being able to see you." She whispered at lightening speed. "You're safe. We're all safe. Victoria is gone, gone, gone." Her voice took on a singsong quality. We grinned at each other, and then her eyes welled up with venom. "I love you, my sister."

"I love you too, Alice." We hugged once more and then I was passed off to Esme.

"Oh my dear, I'm so glad we can put this all behind us." She hugged me tightly as well. "Carlisle is waiting for you in his office. You go get patched up and I'll make you something to eat." She patted me on the cheek and then shooed me away.

Edward held my good hand as we moved towards the stairs. He stopped at the bottom of them and turned to me. "Tanya is up there." He told me hesitantly and watched carefully for my reaction.

I smiled widely. "Good, I need to thank her." Edward looked baffled at my reply but shook his head and led me the rest of the way to Carlisle's office.

"Bella." Carlisle greeted me with a warm smile and a hug. "Thank God this is over."

"I was just leaving." Tanya spoke softly as she tried to slip past us and out of the room.

"Tanya, wait!" I exclaimed suddenly. Everyone looked at me warily. I closed the distance between us and hugged her gently. "Thank you."

I felt her delicate arms wrap around me as she let out a breath. "I'm just glad you're safe. I wish you and Edward all the happiness in the world. Goodness knows you two deserve it." She pulled back and gave me a kind smile.

"Thank you, Tanya." Edward rested a hand gently on her shoulder. Her smile brightened at his sincerity.

"How's your arm?" I asked her, reminded of the gruesome sight of her limb laying on the ground separate from her body and twitching.

"Good." She nodded. "A little stiff, but it should be completely healed in a couple hours. I hunted on the way in and it helped a lot."

"I'm glad to hear it. I'm so sorry you were attacked like that."

"Don't worry about, Bella. The wolves had no idea who I was. They were doing their job, protecting you."

I nodded, still upset that she had been hurt trying to defend me. Tanya smiled at us both one more time and then made her exit. Carlisle gestured to the chair by his desk and I went to sit. The stress of the day along with the pain medicine I'd taken earlier suddenly crashed down on me and I felt myself slump, exhausted, in the chair. Edward watched me worriedly.

Carlisle's cool hand swept across my forehead in a fatherly gesture. "Just let me set this hand and then you can go lie down."

"She should eat something first." Edward objected.

They were quiet then, and I knew the conversation had turned to a silent one.

Carlisle felt for the break again, and when I winced, he apologized. After injecting a local anesthetic, he manipulated my bones so they slipped into place correctly. "You really should have a cast, but if you promise to not use your hand, I'll let you get by with a brace." I agreed quickly and he fitted the contraption to my hand, immobilizing it. "Ibuprofen will help with the swelling and pain, but if you need something stronger, let me know."

Without the sharp pain in my hand to keep me aware, my body let me know just how exhausted I really was. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open.

"Thanks, Carlisle." I replied tiredly.

"Esme has dinner ready for you." Edward told me as he led me out of the office. Seeing my steps dragging, he scooped me up and carried me to the table downstairs. I had a view of everyone sitting in the living room and I smiled to myself. My family was safe. My dad was in my life again, at least for the moment. The threat looming over us had been taken care of and no one was seriously injured. I suppose losing an arm could be considered serious, but it healed so quickly that it was actually quite minor in the scheme of things. Esme set a plate with a sandwich and raw vegetables in front of me, and I remember taking a couple bites, but then everything got hazy. The last thing I remember was meeting Rosalie's eyes across the room and the sisterly smile she gave me. The look of tenderness in her eyes was one I'd never seen directed to anyone other than Emmett. My heavy lids gave up the fight then and Edward caught me gracefully as I slumped over the table, falling into a heavy slumber.


End file.
